Introduction

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Best Ambrose Bierce quotes

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Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.

  • Anger


All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher.

  • Philosophy


Saint. A dead sinner revised and edited.

  • Saint


Egotist. A person of low taste, more interested in himself than me.

  • Ego




Corporation. An ingenious device for obtaining individual profit without individual responsibility.

  • Business


Beauty. The power by which a woman charms a lover and terrifies a husband.

  • Beauty


Habit is a shackle for the free.

  • Habits


Politeness -- The most acceptable hypocrisy.

  • Manners


Love: A temporary insanity curable by marriage.

  • marriage


Bore -- a person who talks when you wish him to listen.

  • Boredom


Dog. A kind of additional or subsidiary Deity designed to catch the overflow and surplus of the world's worship.

  • Dogs


Calamities are of two kinds: misfortune to ourselves, and good fortune to others.

  • Trouble


Impartial. Unable to perceive any promise of personal advantage from espousing either side of a controversy.

  • Neutrality


Erudition. Dust shaken out of a book into an empty skull.

  • Scholars


Optimism - the doctrine or belief that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly.

  • beautiful


Genealogy. An account of one's descent from an ancestor who did not particularly care to trace his own.

  • Ancestry


Divorce. A resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.

  • Divorce


Education is that which discloses to the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understanding.

  • Education


Experience is a revelation in the light of which we renounce our errors of youth for those of age.

  • Experience


Future. That period of time in which our affairs prosper, our friends are true and our happiness is assured.

  • Future


Laziness. Unwarranted repose of manner in a person of low degree.

  • Laziness


A temporary insanity curable by marriage.

  • Love


Fidelity. A virtue peculiar to those who are about to be betrayed.

  • Marriage


Optimism. The doctrine or belief that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly.

  • Optimism


Eulogy. Praise of a person who has either the advantages of wealth and power, or the consideration to be dead.

  • Praise


Pray: To ask the laws of the universe to be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.

  • Prayer


Deliberation. The act of examining one's bread to determine which side it is buttered on.

  • Reflection


An egotist is a person of low taste - more interested in himself than in me.

  • egotist


Abstainer. A weak man who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure.

  • Abstinence


Consult. To seek another's approval of a course already decided on.

  • Advice



Images quotes by Ambrose Bierce

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Ambrose Bierce Quotes About

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Ambrose Bierce quotes about person

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An egotist is a person of low taste - more interested in himself than in me.

  • egotist


Egotist: a person more interested in himself than in me.

  • egotist


Consul - in American politics, a person who having failed to secure an office from the people is given one by the Administration on condition that he leave the country.

  • administration


Telephone, n. An invention of the devil which abrogates some of the advantages of making a disagreeable person keep his distance.

  • technology


Abstainer: a weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure.

  • denying


Clairvoyant, n.: A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to her patron - namely, that he is a blockhead.

  • blockhead


Bore, n. A person who talks when you wish him to listen.

  • bore


Inventor: A person who makes an ingenious arrangement of wheels, levers and springs, and believes it civilization.

  • technology


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Ambrose Bierce quotes about politics

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Consul - in American politics, a person who having failed to secure an office from the people is given one by the Administration on condition that he leave the country.

  • administration


Alliance - in international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply inserted in each other's pockets that they cannot separately plunder a third.

  • alliance


What is a democrat? One who believes that the republicans have ruined the country. What is a republican? One who believes that the democrats would ruin the country.

  • Politics


Nominee. A modest gentleman shrinking from the distinction of private life and diligently seeking the honorable obscurity of public office.

  • Politics


Conservative, n: A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from the Liberal who wishes to replace them with others.

  • politics


Politics: A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affairs for private advantage.

  • politics


Revolution, n. In politics, an abrupt change in the form of misgovernment.

  • abrupt


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Ambrose Bierce quotes about marriage

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Love: A temporary insanity curable by marriage.

  • marriage


Fidelity. A virtue peculiar to those who are about to be betrayed.

  • Marriage


The world has suffered more from the ravages of ill-advised marriages than from virginity.

  • Marriage


Marriage. The state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress and two slaves, making in all, two.

  • Marriage


Bride. A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.

  • Marriage


Incompatibility. In matrimony a similarity of tastes, particularly the taste for domination.

  • Marriage


Marriage, n: the state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all, two.

  • marriage


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Ambrose Bierce quotes about humor

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Wit - the salt with which the American humorist spoils his intellectual cookery by leaving it out.

  • humor


Selfish, adj. Devoid of consideration for the selfishness of others.

  • definition


Witticism. A sharp and clever remark, usually quoted and seldom noted; what the Philistine is pleased to call a joke.

  • Humor


Wit. The salt with which the American humorist spoils his intellectual cookery by leaving it out.

  • Humor


Hash, x. There is no definition for this word - nobody knows what hash is. Famous, adj. Conspicuously miserable. Dictionary, n. A malevolent literary device for cramping the growth of a language and making it hard and inelastic. This dictionary, however, is a most useful work.

  • definition


The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.

  • humor


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Ambrose Bierce quotes about ingenious

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Insurance - an ingenious modern game of chance in which the player is permitted to enjoy the comfortable conviction that he is beating the man who keeps the table.

  • beating


Corporation: An ingenious device for obtaining profit without individual responsibility.

  • business


Debt, n. An ingenious substitute for the chain and whip of the slavedriver.

  • chain


Inventor: A person who makes an ingenious arrangement of wheels, levers and springs, and believes it civilization.

  • technology


Barometer, n.: An ingenious instrument which indicates what kind of weather we are having.

  • barometer


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More quotes by Ambrose Bierce

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Don't steal; thou it never thus compete successfully in business. Cheat.

  • Business


The covers of this book are too far apart.

  • Criticism


Opiate. An unlocked door in the prison of Identity. It leads into the jail yard.

  • Drugs


Backbite. To speak of a man as you find him when he can't find you.

  • Insults




Knowledge is the small part of ignorance that we arrange and classify.

  • Knowledge


A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man, who has no gills.

  • Oceans


Admiration; is our polite recognition of another's resemblance to ourselves.

  • Praise


Impiety. Your irreverence toward my deity.

  • Respect


Success is the one unpardonable sin against one's fellows.

  • Success


Think twice before you speak to a friend in need.

  • Thought


They say that hens do cackle loudest when there is nothing vital in the eggs they have laid.

  • Vanity


Belladonna, n.: In Italian a beautiful lady; in English a deadly poison. A striking example of the essential identity of the two tongues.

  • beautiful


Ambition. An overmastering desire to be vilified by enemies while living and made ridiculous by friends when dead.

  • Ambition


When in Rome, do as Rome does.

  • City


A funeral is a pageant whereby we attest our respect for the dead by enriching the undertaker.

  • Funerals


A man is known by the company he organizes.

  • Management


The world has suffered more from the ravages of ill-advised marriages than from virginity.

  • Marriage


To bother about the best method of accomplishing an accidental result.

  • Planning


PROPHECY, n. The art and practice of selling one's credibility for future delivery.

  • Prophecy


Insurance - an ingenious modern game of chance in which the player is permitted to enjoy the comfortable conviction that he is beating the man who keeps the table.

  • beating


Convent - a place of retirement for women who wish for leisure to meditate upon the sin of idleness.

  • convent


Brain: an apparatus with which we think we think.

  • apparatus


Quotation, n: The act of repeating erroneously the words of another.

  • act


Education, n. That which discloses to the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understanding.

  • education


Faith: Belief without evidence in what is told by one who speaks without knowledge, of things without parallel.

  • Atheism


To be positive: to be mistaken at the top of one's voice.

  • Certainty


An egotist is a person interested in himself than in me!

  • Ego


Destiny. A tyrant's authority for crime and a fool's excuse for failure.

  • Fate


Acquaintance. A person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to.

  • Friends


Life. A spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay.

  • Life


Marriage. The state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress and two slaves, making in all, two.

  • Marriage


Patience, n. A minor form of dispair, disguised as a virtue.

  • Patience


Patriotism. Combustible rubbish ready to the torch of any one ambitious to illuminate his name.

  • Patriotism


Peace, in international affairs, is a period of cheating between two periods of fighting.

  • Peace


A prejudice is a vagrant opinion without visible means of support.

  • Prejudice


Bigot, one who is obstinately and zealously attached to an opinion that you do not entertain.

  • Prejudice


Take not God's name in vain; select a time when it will have effect.

  • Profanity


Insurrection. An unsuccessful revolution; disaffection's failure to substitute misrule for bad government.

  • Revolution


Revolution is an abrupt change in the form of misgovernment.

  • Revolution


Truth -- An ingenious compound of desirability and appearance.

  • Truth


Wit - the salt with which the American humorist spoils his intellectual cookery by leaving it out.

  • humor


Forgetfulness - a gift of God bestowed upon debtors in compensation for their destitution of conscience.

  • bestowed


Egotist: a person more interested in himself than in me.

  • egotist


Happiness: an agreeable sensation arising from contemplating the misery of another.

  • happiness


Liberty: One of Imagination's most precious possessions.

  • imagination


Logic: The art of thinking and reasoning in strict accordance with the limitations and incapacities of the human misunderstanding.

  • accordance


Ability is commonly found to consist mainly in a high degree of solemnity.

  • ability


Bigot: One who is obstinately and zealously attached to an opinion that you do not entertain.

  • attached


Painting, n.: The art of protecting flat surfaces from the weather, and exposing them to the critic.

  • art


Saint: A dead sinner revised and edited.

  • dead


Prejudice is a vagrant opinion without visible means of support.

  • opinion


Woman absent is woman dead.

  • Absence


Absurdity. A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one's own opinion.

  • Absurdity


Age. That period of life in which we compound for the vices that remain by reviling those we have no longer the vigor to commit.

  • Age


Irreligion. The principal one of the great faiths of the world.

  • Atheism


The Senate is a body of old men charged with high duties and misdemeanors.

  • Congress


A coward is one who in a perilous emergency thinks with his legs.

  • CowardiceWeakness


A cynic is a blackguard whose faulty vision sees things as they are, and not as they ought to be.

  • Cynicism


Consul. In American politics, a person who having failed to secure an office from the people is given one by the Administration on condition that he leave the country.

  • Diplomacy


Physician -- One upon whom we set our hopes when ill and our dogs when well.

  • Doctors


To apologize is to lay the foundation for a future offense.

  • Forgiveness


An accident is an inevitable occurrence due to the actions of immutable natural laws.

  • Fortune


The gambling known as business looks with austere disfavor upon the business known as gambling.

  • Gambling


Litigant. A person about to give up his skin for the hope of retaining his bones.

  • Justice


Appeal. In law, to put the dice into the box for another throw.

  • Justice


Learning. The kind of ignorance distinguishing the studious.

  • Learning


Bride. A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.

  • Marriage


Before undergoing a surgical operation, arrange your temporal affairs. You may live.

  • Medicine


An optimist is a proponent of the doctrine that black is white.

  • Optimism


A lowly virtue whereby mediocrity achieves a glorious success.

  • Persistence


Convent. A place of retirement for women who wish for leisure to meditate upon the sin of idleness.

  • Religion


Religion. A daughter of Hope and Fear, explaining to Ignorance the nature of the Unknowable.

  • Religion


Heaven lies about us in our infancy and the world begins lying about us pretty soon afterward.

  • Youth


Fidelity - a virtue peculiar to those who are about to be betrayed.

  • betrayed


Experience - the wisdom that enables us to recognise in an undesirable old acquaintance the folly that we have already embraced.

  • experience


Consul - in American politics, a person who having failed to secure an office from the people is given one by the Administration on condition that he leave the country.

  • administration


Alliance - in international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply inserted in each other's pockets that they cannot separately plunder a third.

  • alliance


Enthusiasm - a distemper of youth, curable by small doses of repentance in connection with outward applications of experience.

  • applications


Admiration, n. Our polite recognition of another's resemblance to ourselves.

  • admiration


Corporation: An ingenious device for obtaining profit without individual responsibility.

  • business


Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man - who has no gills.

  • nature


Cabbage: a familiar kitchen-garden vegetable about as large and wise as a man's head.

  • cabbage


Mad, adj. Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence.

  • intelligence


Philosophy: A route of many roads leading from nowhere to nothing.

  • leading


Photograph: a picture painted by the sun without instruction in art.

  • art


Dawn: When men of reason go to bed.

  • bed


Telephone, n. An invention of the devil which abrogates some of the advantages of making a disagreeable person keep his distance.

  • technology


Day, n. A period of twenty-four hours, mostly misspent.

  • time


Abstainer: a weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure.

  • denying


History is an account, mostly false, of events, mostly unimportant, which are brought about by rulers, mostly knaves, and soldiers, mostly fools.

  • history


Destiny: A tyrant's authority for crime and a fool's excuse for failure.

  • authority


The small part of ignorance that we arrange and classify we give the name of knowledge.

  • arrange


Success is the one unpardonable sin against our fellows.

  • success


Death is not the end. There remains the litigation over the estate.

  • death


Clairvoyant, n.: A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to her patron - namely, that he is a blockhead.

  • blockhead


Egotism, n: Doing the New York Times crossword puzzle with a pen.

  • crossword


Famous, adj.: Conspicuously miserable.

  • famous


Politeness, n: The most acceptable hypocrisy.

  • acceptable


Perseverance - a lowly virtue whereby mediocrity achieves an inglorious success.

  • achieves


Genealogy, n. An account of one's descent from a man who did not particularly care to trace his own.

  • account


Meekness: Uncommon patience in planning a revenge that is worth while.

  • meekness


Selfish, adj. Devoid of consideration for the selfishness of others.

  • definition


Architect. One who drafts a plan of your house, and plans a draft of your money.

  • Architecture


Censor, n. An officer of certain governments, employed to supress the works of genius. Among the Romans the censor was an inspector of public morals, but the public morals of modern nations will not bear inspection.

  • Censorship


Philanthropist. A rich (and usually bald) old gentleman who has trained himself to grin while his conscience is picking his pocket.

  • Charity


Alliance. In international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply inserted in each other's pockets that they cannot separately plunder a third.

  • Community


Compromise. Such an adjustment of conflicting interests as gives each adversary the satisfaction of thinking he has got what he ought not to have, and is deprived of nothing except what was justly his due.

  • Compromise


Conservative. A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from a Liberal, who wishes to replace them with others.

  • Conservatism


Creditor. One of a tribe of savages dwelling beyond the Financial Straits and dreaded for their desolating incursions.

  • Credit


Abscond. To move in a mysterious way, commonly with the property of another.

  • Crime


Forgetfulness. A gift of God bestowed upon debtors in compensation for their destitution of conscience.

  • Debt


Duty. That which sternly impels us in the direction of profit, along the line of desire.

  • Duty


Enthusiasm. A distemper of youth, curable by small doses of repentance in connection with outward applications of experience.

  • Enthusiasm


Experience. The wisdom that enables us to recognize in an undesirable old acquaintance the folly that we have already embraced.

  • Experience


Edible. Good to eat and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad, a toad to a snake, a snake to a pig, a pig to a man, and a man to a worm.

  • Food


Acquaintance: a degree of friendship called slight when its object is poor or obscure, and intimate when he is rich or famous.

  • Friends


An acquaintance is someone we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to.

  • Friends


Confidante. One entrusted by A with the secrets of B confided to herself by C.

  • Gossip


Happiness is an agreeable sensation, arising from contemplating the misery of others.

  • Happiness


An account, mostly false, of events, mostly unimportant, which are brought about by rulers, mostly knaves, and soldiers, mostly fools.

  • History



Journalist similar to Ambrose Bierce


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Conclusion

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When Ambrose Bierce was born? Ambrose Bierce was born on June 24, 1842.

Who is Ambrose Bierce? Ambrose Bierce biography. Ambrose Gwinnett Bierce was an American editorialist, journalist, short story writer, fabulist and satirist. Today, he is best known for his short story, An Occurrence at Owl Creek Bridge and his satirical lexicon, The Devil's Dictionary. The sardonic view of human nature that informed his work – along with his vehemence as a critic, with his motto "nothing matters" – earned him the nickname "Bitter Bierce."Despite his reputation as a searing critic, however, Bierce was known to encourage younger writers, including poet George Sterling and fiction writer W. C. Morrow. Bierce employed a distinctive style of writing, especially in his stories. This style often embraces an abrupt beginning, dark imagery, vague references to time, limited descriptions, the theme of war, and impossible events.Bierce disappeared in December 1913. He is believed to have traveled to Mexico to gain a firsthand perspective on that country's ongoing revolution.

TABLE OF CONTENTS

Part 1
Introduction

Part 2
Best Ambrose Bierce quotes

Part 3
Ambrose Bierce quotes images

Part 4
Ambrose Bierce's Quotes About ...
Person
Politics
Marriage
Humor
Ingenious
All Ambrose Bierce quotes

Part 5
Similar Journalists

Part 6
Conclusion

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