Introduction

What are the best Ambrose Bierce quotes? Read the most famous quotes by Ambrose Bierce. Top 10 Ambrose Bierce images and Top 10 Ambrose Bierce quotes. Ambrose Bierce quotations on person, politics, marriage, humor, ingenious are those that make this journalist famous.

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Best Ambrose Bierce quotes

Ambrose Bierce is famous American journalist with many wise quotes. Share the best Ambrose Bierce quotations of all times with your friends and family.


Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.


All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher.


Saint. A dead sinner revised and edited.


Egotist. A person of low taste, more interested in himself than me.

  • ego



Politeness -- The most acceptable hypocrisy.


Love: A temporary insanity curable by marriage.


Beauty. The power by which a woman charms a lover and terrifies a husband.


Habit is a shackle for the free.


Calamities are of two kinds: misfortune to ourselves, and good fortune to others.


Dog. A kind of additional or subsidiary Deity designed to catch the overflow and surplus of the world's worship.


Optimism - the doctrine or belief that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly.


Divorce. A resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.


An egotist is a person of low taste - more interested in himself than in me.


Education is that which discloses to the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understanding.


Fidelity. A virtue peculiar to those who are about to be betrayed.

  • marriage

Laziness. Unwarranted repose of manner in a person of low degree.


Genealogy. An account of one's descent from an ancestor who did not particularly care to trace his own.


A temporary insanity curable by marriage.


Pray: To ask the laws of the universe to be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.


Future. That period of time in which our affairs prosper, our friends are true and our happiness is assured.


Eulogy. Praise of a person who has either the advantages of wealth and power, or the consideration to be dead.


Experience is a revelation in the light of which we renounce our errors of youth for those of age.


Consult. To seek another's approval of a course already decided on.


The world has suffered more from the ravages of ill-advised marriages than from virginity.

  • marriage

Knowledge is the small part of ignorance that we arrange and classify.


Impiety. Your irreverence toward my deity.


Don't steal; thou it never thus compete successfully in business. Cheat.


Think twice before you speak to a friend in need.


Abstainer. A weak man who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure.


Opiate. An unlocked door in the prison of Identity. It leads into the jail yard.




Ambrose Bierce quotes images

What are the best Ambrose Bierce images quotes? Read and bookmark finest quotes from Ambrose Bierce, embed as messages on beautiful images. Those images have person quotes, politics quotes, marriage quotes, humor quotes, ingenious quotes.


Picture quote by Ambrose Bierce about tax

Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.


That were top sayings and Ambrose Bierce picture quotes. Access more quotations by Ambrose Bierce with images on Pinterest.

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About Ambrose Bierce

Where is Ambrose Bierce from? Ambrose Bierce is American who said awesome wise words. A influential and well recognized journalist all over the world. The following quotations and images represent the American nature embed in Ambrose Bierce's character.

What Ambrose Bierce was famous for? Ambrose Bierce is famous journalist with many good quotes. Well-known and respected in American society for wise sayings. Browse a lot of Ambrose Bierce books and reference books with quotes from Ambrose Bierce on Amazon.


Top Ambrose Bierce quotes about person

What are the best person quotes by Ambrose Bierce? List with Top 10 Ambrose Bierce sayings and quotes about person.


An egotist is a person of low taste - more interested in himself than in me.

  • egotist

Consul - in American politics, a person who having failed to secure an office from the people is given one by the Administration on condition that he leave the country.


Telephone, n. An invention of the devil which abrogates some of the advantages of making a disagreeable person keep his distance.


Clairvoyant, n.: A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to her patron - namely, that he is a blockhead.


Bore, n. A person who talks when you wish him to listen.


Inventor: A person who makes an ingenious arrangement of wheels, levers and springs, and believes it civilization.

  • technology

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Top Ambrose Bierce quotes about politics

What are the best politics quotes by Ambrose Bierce? List with Top 10 Ambrose Bierce sayings and quotes about politics.


Consul - in American politics, a person who having failed to secure an office from the people is given one by the Administration on condition that he leave the country.

  • administration

Alliance - in international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply inserted in each other's pockets that they cannot separately plunder a third.


What is a democrat? One who believes that the republicans have ruined the country. What is a republican? One who believes that the democrats would ruin the country.


Nominee. A modest gentleman shrinking from the distinction of private life and diligently seeking the honorable obscurity of public office.

  • politics

Conservative, n: A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from the Liberal who wishes to replace them with others.

  • politics

Politics: A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affairs for private advantage.

  • politics

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Top Ambrose Bierce quotes about marriage

What are the best marriage quotes by Ambrose Bierce? List with Top 10 Ambrose Bierce sayings and quotes about marriage.


Love: A temporary insanity curable by marriage.

  • marriage

Fidelity. A virtue peculiar to those who are about to be betrayed.

  • marriage

The world has suffered more from the ravages of ill-advised marriages than from virginity.

  • marriage

Incompatibility. In matrimony a similarity of tastes, particularly the taste for domination.

  • marriage

Marriage, n: the state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all, two.

  • marriage

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Top Ambrose Bierce quotes about humor

What are the best humor quotes by Ambrose Bierce? List with Top 10 Ambrose Bierce sayings and quotes about humor.


Wit - the salt with which the American humorist spoils his intellectual cookery by leaving it out.


Selfish, adj. Devoid of consideration for the selfishness of others.


Witticism. A sharp and clever remark, usually quoted and seldom noted; what the Philistine is pleased to call a joke.

  • humor

Hash, x. There is no definition for this word - nobody knows what hash is. Famous, adj. Conspicuously miserable. Dictionary, n. A malevolent literary device for cramping the growth of a language and making it hard and inelastic. This dictionary, however, is a most useful work.

  • definition

The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.

  • humor

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Top Ambrose Bierce quotes about ingenious

What are the best ingenious quotes by Ambrose Bierce? List with Top 10 Ambrose Bierce sayings and quotes about ingenious.


Insurance - an ingenious modern game of chance in which the player is permitted to enjoy the comfortable conviction that he is beating the man who keeps the table.


Corporation: An ingenious device for obtaining profit without individual responsibility.

  • business

Debt, n. An ingenious substitute for the chain and whip of the slavedriver.


Inventor: A person who makes an ingenious arrangement of wheels, levers and springs, and believes it civilization.

  • technology

Barometer, n.: An ingenious instrument which indicates what kind of weather we are having.


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More quotes by Ambrose Bierce

Want some more good quotations by Ambrose Bierce? Explore the rest of 188 sayings by Ambrose Bierce.


They say that hens do cackle loudest when there is nothing vital in the eggs they have laid.


Belladonna, n.: In Italian a beautiful lady; in English a deadly poison. A striking example of the essential identity of the two tongues.

  • beautiful

The covers of this book are too far apart.


Backbite. To speak of a man as you find him when he can't find you.




A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man, who has no gills.


Insurance - an ingenious modern game of chance in which the player is permitted to enjoy the comfortable conviction that he is beating the man who keeps the table.

  • beating

A man is known by the company he organizes.


Quotation, n: The act of repeating erroneously the words of another.

  • act

When in Rome, do as Rome does.


Convent - a place of retirement for women who wish for leisure to meditate upon the sin of idleness.


To bother about the best method of accomplishing an accidental result.


A funeral is a pageant whereby we attest our respect for the dead by enriching the undertaker.


Ambition. An overmastering desire to be vilified by enemies while living and made ridiculous by friends when dead.


PROPHECY, n. The art and practice of selling one's credibility for future delivery.


Brain: an apparatus with which we think we think.


Life. A spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay.


Bigot: One who is obstinately and zealously attached to an opinion that you do not entertain.


A prejudice is a vagrant opinion without visible means of support.


Acquaintance. A person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to.


Logic: The art of thinking and reasoning in strict accordance with the limitations and incapacities of the human misunderstanding.


Forgetfulness - a gift of God bestowed upon debtors in compensation for their destitution of conscience.


Prejudice is a vagrant opinion without visible means of support.


Revolution is an abrupt change in the form of misgovernment.


Wit - the salt with which the American humorist spoils his intellectual cookery by leaving it out.

  • humor

Admiration, n. Our polite recognition of another's resemblance to ourselves.


Peace, in international affairs, is a period of cheating between two periods of fighting.


Take not God's name in vain; select a time when it will have effect.


Liberty: One of Imagination's most precious possessions.


A coward is one who in a perilous emergency thinks with his legs.


Patience, n. A minor form of dispair, disguised as a virtue.


Patriotism. Combustible rubbish ready to the torch of any one ambitious to illuminate his name.


Insurrection. An unsuccessful revolution; disaffection's failure to substitute misrule for bad government.

  • revolution

Truth -- An ingenious compound of desirability and appearance.


An egotist is a person interested in himself than in me!

  • ego

Painting, n.: The art of protecting flat surfaces from the weather, and exposing them to the critic.

  • art

Faith: Belief without evidence in what is told by one who speaks without knowledge, of things without parallel.


Ability is commonly found to consist mainly in a high degree of solemnity.


Happiness: an agreeable sensation arising from contemplating the misery of another.


Irreligion. The principal one of the great faiths of the world.

  • atheism

Dawn: When men of reason go to bed.

  • bed

Age. That period of life in which we compound for the vices that remain by reviling those we have no longer the vigor to commit.

  • age

A lowly virtue whereby mediocrity achieves a glorious success.


Litigant. A person about to give up his skin for the hope of retaining his bones.


Consul - in American politics, a person who having failed to secure an office from the people is given one by the Administration on condition that he leave the country.

  • administration

Alliance - in international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply inserted in each other's pockets that they cannot separately plunder a third.

  • alliance

Perseverance - a lowly virtue whereby mediocrity achieves an inglorious success.


Mad, adj. Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence.


Cabbage: a familiar kitchen-garden vegetable about as large and wise as a man's head.


Meekness: Uncommon patience in planning a revenge that is worth while.


Death is not the end. There remains the litigation over the estate.


The gambling known as business looks with austere disfavor upon the business known as gambling.


Photograph: a picture painted by the sun without instruction in art.

  • art

Experience - the wisdom that enables us to recognise in an undesirable old acquaintance the folly that we have already embraced.

  • experience

Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man - who has no gills.


Destiny: A tyrant's authority for crime and a fool's excuse for failure.


An accident is an inevitable occurrence due to the actions of immutable natural laws.


Before undergoing a surgical operation, arrange your temporal affairs. You may live.


The Senate is a body of old men charged with high duties and misdemeanors.


Appeal. In law, to put the dice into the box for another throw.

  • justice

Philosophy: A route of many roads leading from nowhere to nothing.


Heaven lies about us in our infancy and the world begins lying about us pretty soon afterward.


An optimist is a proponent of the doctrine that black is white.


Enthusiasm - a distemper of youth, curable by small doses of repentance in connection with outward applications of experience.


Clairvoyant, n.: A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to her patron - namely, that he is a blockhead.

  • blockhead

Corporation: An ingenious device for obtaining profit without individual responsibility.

  • business

Telephone, n. An invention of the devil which abrogates some of the advantages of making a disagreeable person keep his distance.

  • technology

The small part of ignorance that we arrange and classify we give the name of knowledge.


To apologize is to lay the foundation for a future offense.


History is an account, mostly false, of events, mostly unimportant, which are brought about by rulers, mostly knaves, and soldiers, mostly fools.


Day, n. A period of twenty-four hours, mostly misspent.


Famous, adj.: Conspicuously miserable.


Selfish, adj. Devoid of consideration for the selfishness of others.

  • definition

Success is the one unpardonable sin against our fellows.


Woman absent is woman dead.


A cynic is a blackguard whose faulty vision sees things as they are, and not as they ought to be.


Physician -- One upon whom we set our hopes when ill and our dogs when well.


Egotism, n: Doing the New York Times crossword puzzle with a pen.


Religion. A daughter of Hope and Fear, explaining to Ignorance the nature of the Unknowable.


Conservative, n: A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from the Liberal who wishes to replace them with others.

  • politics

Bride: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.


Prescription: A physician's guess at what will best prolong the situation with least harm to the patient.


Philanthropist. A rich (and usually bald) old gentleman who has trained himself to grin while his conscience is picking his pocket.


Inventor: A person who makes an ingenious arrangement of wheels, levers and springs, and believes it civilization.

  • technology

Sabbath - a weekly festival having its origin in the fact that God made the world in six days and was arrested on the seventh.


Censor, n. An officer of certain governments, employed to supress the works of genius. Among the Romans the censor was an inspector of public morals, but the public morals of modern nations will not bear inspection.


Ambidextrous, adj.: Able to pick with equal skill a right-hand pocket or a left.


Ardor, n. The quality that distinguishes love without knowledge.


It is evident that skepticism, while it makes no actual change in man, always makes him feel better.


Miss: A title with which we brand unmarried women to indicate that they are in the market. Miss, Misses (Mrs.) and Mister (Mr.) are the three most distinctly disagreeable words in the language, in sound and sense. Two are corruptions of Mistress, the other of Master. If we must have them, let us be consistent and give one to the unmarried man. I venture to suggest Mush, abbreviated to MH.


There are four kinds of Homicide: felonious, excusable, justifiable, and praiseworthy.


Curiosity, n. An objectionable quality of the female mind. The desire to know whether or not a woman is cursed with curiosity is one of the most active and insatiable passions of the masculine soul.


What this country needs what every country needs occasionally is a good hard bloody war to revive the vice of patriotism on which its existence as a nation depends.


Debt, n. An ingenious substitute for the chain and whip of the slavedriver.

  • chain

Politics: A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affairs for private advantage.

  • politics

Experience. The wisdom that enables us to recognize in an undesirable old acquaintance the folly that we have already embraced.

  • experience

Positive, adj.: Mistaken at the top of one's voice.


An account, mostly false, of events, mostly unimportant, which are brought about by rulers, mostly knaves, and soldiers, mostly fools.

  • history

Abscond. To move in a mysterious way, commonly with the property of another.


Barometer, n.: An ingenious instrument which indicates what kind of weather we are having.

  • barometer

Who never doubted, never half believed. Where doubt is, there truth is - it is her shadow.


Alien. An American sovereign in his probationary state.


Deliberation, n.: The act of examining one's bread to determine which side it is buttered on.

  • act

Projectile - n. the final arbiter in international disputes. Formerly these disputes were resolved by physical contact of the disputants with such arguments as the rudimentary logic of the times would supply - sword, spear, and so forth. With the growth of prudence in military affairs the projectile came more and more into favor, and is now held in high esteem by all. Its capital defect ( in Bierce's day ) has been that it requires personal attendance at the point of launch.


A route of many roads leading from nowhere to nothing.

  • philosophy

Marriage, n: the state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all, two.

  • marriage

We submit to the majority because we have to. But we are not compelled to call our attitude of subjection a posture of respect.


Faith, n. Belief without evidence in what is told by one who speaks without knowledge, of things without parallel.

  • definition

A total abstainer is one who abstains from everything but abstention, and especially from inactivity in the affairs of others.


Academe : An ancient school where morality and philosophy were taught. Academy : A modern school where football is taught.


The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.

  • humor

What is a democrat? One who believes that the republicans have ruined the country. What is a republican? One who believes that the democrats would ruin the country.

  • politics

Lawsuit: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage.


Trial. A formal inquiry designed to prove and put upon record the blameless characters of judges, advocates and jurors.

  • justice

Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.


Admiral. That part of a warship which does the talking while the figurehead does the thinking.


Bacchus, n.: A convenient deity invented by the ancients as an excuse for getting drunk.


Litigation: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage.


Suffrage, noun. Expression of opinion by means of a ballot. The right of suffrage (which is held to be both a privilege and a duty) means, as commonly interpreted, the right to vote for the man of another man's choice, and is highly prized.


The hardest tumble a man can make is to fall over his own bluff.


Bore, n. A person who talks when you wish him to listen.

  • bore

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Journalists similar to Ambrose Bierce

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Ambrose Bierce favorite topics

Ambrose Bierce is famous for his passion for person, politics, marriage, humor, ingenious. Check out great quotations and affirmations.


Conclusion

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When was Ambrose Bierce birthday? Ambrose Bierce was born on June 24, 1842.

Who is Ambrose Bierce? Some facts about Ambrose Bierce from biography. Ambrose Gwinnett Bierce was an American editorialist, journalist, short story writer, fabulist and satirist. Today, he is best known for his short story, An Occurrence at Owl Creek Bridge and his satirical lexicon, The Devil's Dictionary. The sardonic view of human nature that informed his work – ... Read more about Ambrose Bierce on Wikipedia or watch videos with quotes from Ambrose Bierce on YouTube.

TABLE OF CONTENTS

Part 1
Introduction

Part 2
Best Ambrose Bierce quotes
Top 10 quotes by Ambrose Bierce

Part 3
Ambrose Bierce quotes images

Part 4
Person
Politics
Marriage
Humor
Ingenious
All quotes

Part 5
Similar Journalists

Part 6
Favorite topics

Part 7
Conclusion

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