Otherwise, my whole career has just been flinging myself at whatever is most overdue first and letting everything else stack up.— Cathy Guisewite
The most reckoning Cathy Guisewite quotes that may be undiscovered and unusual
When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye.
Food, love, career, and mothers, the four major guilt groups.
I was going to sip on a diet soda, but a little voice convinced me I needed the extra calcium from a cup of hot chocolate.
The story of a mother's life: Trapped between a scream and a hug.
In the '80s, I thought I'd be a success as a woman if I were the president of a billion dollar company, had a sensitive soul-mate husband, two bilingual children, buns of steels, and a compost heap. In the '90s, I pretty much feel I'm a success if I can get through the afternoon without eating a cheesecake.
Each of us wages a private battle each day between the grand fantasies we have for ourselves and what actually happens.
All parents believe their children can do the impossible.
They thought it the minute we were born, and no matter how hard we've tried to prove them wrong, they all think it about us now. And the really annoying thing is, they're probably right.
What happened to the good old days of "Woman as passive recipient?" What happened to being courted? What happened to sitting back under a parasol and granting someone a chance to try to win us over?
Cartooning is a wonderful career, and I'd like more women to get to have it.
I can't think of any reason why we won't see more syndicated female cartoonists in the future.
Sometimes the best Christmas present is remembering what you've already got.
Breaking up: It's so easy to return their possessions, but so hard to get our brain cells back.
A lot of married people certainly have wonderful relationships with their dogs, but when you're single and your dog is the only other living thing in your house, it's a really special relationship which I wanted CATHY to have.
I've found it's better to talk to the machine and hang up if I get the person.
Animal welfare issues have always been important to me.
The biggest change in my life is that I now have to apologize for being thin.
My mother had always taught me to write about my feelings instead of sharing really personal things with others, so I spent many evenings writing in my diary, eating everything in the kitchen and waiting for Mr. Wrong to call.
Where's my tax form? Where's the file that's supposed to hold my W-2 form and interest statement? Where's the mileage log I specifically asked be kept last year?? Where's the monthly check summary? And who's been stuffing Visa receipts in the aluminum foil drawer??!! How embarrassing. I'm surrounded by idiots and I'm the only one in the office.
Now I'm searching for a slightly overweight, single, childless woman who doesn't have a date and isn't too depressing to be around. It's getting harder to find a girlfriend than a boyfriend.
Small wastebasket liners, $1.17 ... tall wastebasket liners, $2.29 ... garbage can liners, $3.98 ... I think I just spent $7.44 buying something I'm going to throw away.
I understand the sensitivities of grown children with little ones of their own!! They'll turn away a mother full of advice, but they'll never say no to one holding a mop.
The specific story line that people have responded to the most has been the horror of bathing suit shopping.
After 14 years of dieting, there are only two things I've never lost. Hope and weight.
Food ... love ... mother ... career ... Live every day to the fullest. Partake of the four basic guilt groups.
There are self-awareness groups, to help you discover who you really are .
.. encounter groups, to help you deal with who you really are ... assertiveness training groups to help you stand up for who you really are ... Suddenly, the only way to become an individual is to join a group.
In 1976 I wrote a lot about women trying to claim the right to work.
I can't tell my conscience from my insecurities.
Men date. Women have relationships.
I have an office in my house and one about five minutes from my house.
I worked solely out of my house for many years, but find, with children, that I have to be in a different ZIP code to think.
Wake me up when I'm a size 5.
Men should come with instruction booklets.
So often, happiness is the extent to which we balance our grandiose expectations with reality.
One day, in 1982, for 15 minutes, my hair was perfect.
Allow yourself to graduate, every five years.
All mothers have intuition. The great ones have radar.
Everyday is a new beginning and a chance to blow it.
My heart always belongs to the one who doesn't want it.
A young bride can put on makeup at 6 in the morning and look fabulous at midnight. I have about a 15-minute window where I actually look good, and then I have to wash my face and start over.
I never thought Cathy would get married in the comic strip.
And I also thought I would never get married.
This is a business meal. The calories do not count. I am mentally labeling these as 'business calories' so my body will know they were eaten in the line of duty and will process them differently.
I'm most proud of having created something that men never completely get.
There are only two secrets to a slimmer shape ... High heels and shoulder pads!
[On men:] I'm torn between wanting to have one and wanting to be one.