Now climb, young grasshopper, so your Kung Fu won't be weak.

— Ilona Andrews

The most dreamy Ilona Andrews quotes that will inspire your inner self

Black hair, angelic face, and devil eyes.

63

You like the girl," Alasdair offered.

Nassar leveled a heavy gaze at him. "Lillian said you tried to be funny in the car. I told her it couldn't possibly be true. The moment you try to make a joke, the sky shall split and the Four Horsemen will ride out, heralding Apocalypse.

52

Strawberry Shortcake called, she wants her outfit back

47

First rule of bodyguard detail: know where your 'body' is at all times.

46

"Did those nice church ladies come by again?" He nodded.

"I asked them if a man died and then the woman remarried, and then the three of them met in heaven, would it be a sin for them to have a threesome, since they were all married in God's eye. And they decided they were late to be somewhere else."

31

If the sky could dream, it would dream of dragons.

27

The decorator of Las Colimas must have been a great admirer of both early Aztec and late Taco Bell architectural styles.

23

I'm welding the bimbo room shut.

21

Your headlights don't scare me.

19

I had forgotten that talking to you is like trying to pet a cactus.

" Saiman said dryly. "Thank you for reminding me." "Always happy to oblige.

18

She can tell you the height of the attacker from the trigonometry of the blood spatter, while I'm fuzzy on what trigonometry is.

18

What do you mean fainted? Took a dive, kissed the pavement.

Swooned like a southern belle after her first kiss. Had a dreadful case of the vapors.

15

About Ilona Andrews

Quotes 491 sayings
Profession Novelist

Juke glanced into her cup before tipping it down to her mouth.

"Screw you!" "Now come on, sugar, you know I don't swing that way." "Whatever!

12

Next to me, Saiman smiled. "We all want what we can't have, Kate. I want you, you want love, and he wants to break my neck.

12

Hold your horses. I'm coming."... "From where I'm standing you're just breathing laboriously." The snow swam out of focus. "Breathing hard. Are you coming or just breathing hard. You've got to get your one-liners straight.

12

When I'm with him, I can feel myself getting better.

It's like he's picking up broken pieces of me and putting me back together, and I don't even know he's doing it. We never talk about it. We don't go to therapy. He just loves me and that's enough.

12

You slept with Curran and you didn’t tell me? I’m your best friend.

” “It didn’t come up.” “How disappointing for you.” Ha-ha. “That’s not what I meant.

12

Kate Daniels, deadly swordmaster. Fear my twitching pinkie.

12

Men and swords. My father said that if you put any able-bodied man, no matter how peaceful, into a room with a sword and a practice dummy and leave him alone, eventually the man would pick up the sword and try to stab the dummy. It is human nature.

11

Is he a scumbag in training?” Richard glanced at the gunman.

“At least have the decency to hold the gun properly, you fool. If you don’t know how, pass it to someone who does. I’m not going to suffer being shot at by anything less than a full- fledged lowlife. (Richard)

10

Nothing kills a party like an oversize metal hedgehog.

10

It was the kind of sword that would make a lifelong pacifist look for tall boots and a hat with feathers.

10

Cats randomly refuse to follow orders to prove they can.

10

Ve haf vays of making you gif us your DNA sample.

9

So this is what it's about? This is your mature response to go off into the mountains rather than talking about it and have s'mores with a gnome and a mountain man." "Yep" "What's your plan for tomorrow? Brunch with a unicorn?

8

Crazy Curran ranked right up there with monsoons, tornadoes, earthquakes, and other natural disasters.

8

I gave him my best cryptic smile. He did not fall down to his feet, kiss my shoes, and promise me the world. I must be getting rusty.

8

The pervert." "He prefers to think of himself as sexual deviant." "Semantics.

7

Kid 1: *examining my gorgeous strawberry and blueberry pies*: Wow, Mom, your pies don’t look awful this time. Me (Ilona): ... ~A little later~ Kid 2: *wandering into the kitchen* Kid 1: Hey, you’ve got to see these pies. *opening the stove* Kid 2: Wow. They are not ugly this time. Kid 1: I know, right?

5

On the other hand it was bad manners to look a gift horse in the mouth.

Even if you're getting it from an overweight cracker in a fringe shirt.

5

What happened to the alpha-wolf?" "LEGOs.

" "Legos?" It sounded Greek but I couldn't recall anything mythological with that name. Wasn't it an island? "He was carrying a load of laundry into the basement and tripped on the old set of LEGOs his kids left on the stairs. Broke two ribs and an ankle.

5

On the plus side, if he ever had to fight through a roomful of adolescent girls, he only needed to blink (his velvet brown eyes framed in embarassingly long lashes) a few times, and they would all faint.

5

The monster licked his lips, long lines of whiskers twitching, and spoke in a deep growl. "Pretty, aren't I?" Curran. In midform. I broke from his gaze. "Adorable.

5

What's with the cute shoelace on your head?" "What this?" He flicked the end of the cord with his finger. "Yeah. Rambo called, he wants his bandana back.

4

He stepped forward, took a deep breath, and doubled over in a sneezing fit.

My werewolf was allergic to tortoises. Why me?

4

When you walk a dog on a short leash, she's close enough to bite you.

4

I dived for it, caught it three inches above the cement, and found myself face-to-face with the salamander. Ruby-red eyes regarded me with mild curiosity, black lips parted, and a long, spiderweb-thin filament of a tongue slithered from the salamander’s mouth and kissed the sphere’s glass in the reflection of my nose. Hi, I love you, too.

4

He caressed my cheek. "You came for me," I whispered. "Always," he told me.

3

you might want to decide fast. We live in a dangerous world. If you see a chance to be happy, you have to fight for it, so later you have no regrets.

3

Let’s talk.” I pinned Red to his chair with my stare. I did deranged quite well, when the occasion required.

3

My tablecloth was missing in action and long, jagged scratches covered the table's surface.The scratches looked suspiciously like letters. I climbed on a chair and looked at it from above. MINE. Oh, that's great. Fantastic. So mature. Perhaps he would pull my pigtails next or stick a tack on my seat.

3

I'm secure enough in myself to wear panties with bows on them.

Besides, they are comfy and soft." "I bet." He almost purred. I gulped.

3

You fellows ever thought of hiring out as a Christmas lights crew? You’d make a fortune.

3

Some men were handsome. Some were powerful. Curran was...dangerous.

3

They had picked up Julie's scent hit wolfsbane lost her and found her trail again at the crumbling Highway 23 except it was two hours old and mixed with horse scents. She was hitchhiking. Great. Awesome. At least she always carried a knife with her. When I relayed this to Curran he shrugged and said, "If she kills anybody we'll make it go away.

3

Ready to put your claws where your mouth is, or are you going to cringe behind the big boys and yip all day?" His eyes flared yellow "Is that a challenge?" "Yes it is.

2

He'd laugh in my face, then I'd slice him to ribbons and then he'd break my neck

2

I took the jacket off, changed my T-shirt for a dark gray tank top, slipped on the tangle of the back sheath, and put the jacket on again. Thugs are us. Great. Just add a super-tight ponytail and loads of mascara, and I’d be ripe to play a supervillain’s evil mistress. Ve haf vays of making you gif us your DNA sample.

2

What's that?" "That's my attack poodle.

2
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