It is always the best policy to speak the truth, unless, of course, you are an exceptionally good liar.— Jerome K. Jerome
The most helpful Jerome K. Jerome quotes that are simple and will have a huge impact on you
I like work; it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.
People who have tried it, tell me that a clear conscience makes you very happy and contented; but a full stomach does the business quite as well, and is cheaper, and more easily obtained.
Nothing is more beautiful than the love that has weathered the storms of life.
The love of the young for the young, that is the beginning of life. But the love of the old for the old, that is the beginning of things longer.
Let your boat of life be light, packed with only what you need - a homely home and simple pleasures, one or two friends, worth the name, someone to love and someone to love you, a cat, a dog, and a pipe or two, enough to eat and enough to wear, and a little more than enough to drink; for thirst is a dangerous thing.
Opportunities flit by while we sit regretting the chances we have lost, and the happiness that comes to us we heed not, because of the happiness that is gone.
A good woman's arms round a man's neck is a lifebelt thrown out to him from heaven.
Love is like the measles; we all have to go through it.
It is impossible to enjoy idling thoroughly unless one has plenty of work to do.
The weather is like the government, always in the wrong.
They [dogs] never talk about themselves but listen to you while you talk about yourself, and keep up an appearance of being interested in the conversation.
The shy man does have some slight revenge upon society for the torture it inflicts upon him. He is able, to a certain extent, to communicate his misery. He frightens other people as much as they frighten him. He acts like a damper upon the whole room, and the most jovial spirits become, in his presence, depressed and nervous.
It is so pleasant to come across people more stupid than ourselves.
We love them at once for being so.
He is very imprudent, a dog; he never makes it his business to inquire whether you are in the right or the wrong, never asks whether you are rich or poor, silly or wise, sinner or saint. You are his pal. That is enough for him.
If there is one person I do despise more than another, it is the man who does not think exactly the same on all topics as I do.
Eat good dinners and drink good wine;
read good novels if you have the leisure and see good plays; fall in love, if there is no reason why you should not fall in love; but do not pore over influenza statistics.
Some people are under the impression that all that is required to make a good fisherman is the ability to tell lies easily and without blushing; but this is a mistake.
It seems to me so shocking to see the precious hours of a man's life - the priceless moments that will never come back to him again - being wasted in a mere brutish sleep.
The shy man does have some slight revenge upon society for the torture it inflicts upon him.
Life will always remain a gamble, with prizes sometimes for the imprudent, and blanks so often to the wise.
Splendid cheeses they were, ripe and mellow, and with a two hundred horse-power scent about them that might have been warranted to carry three miles, and knock a man over at two hundred yards.
A glass of wine often makes me a better man than hearing a sermon.
A cat's got her own opinion of human beings.
She don't say much, but you can tell enough to make you anxious not to hear the whole of it.
There is no more thrilling sensation I know of than sailing.
It comes as near to flying as man has got to yet - except in dreams.
I respect the truth too much to drag it out on every occasion.
I attribute the quarrelsome nature of the Middle Ages young men entirely to the want of the soothing weed.
Fox-terriers are born with about four times as much original sin in them as other dogs.
I could not conjure up one melancholy fancy upon a mutton chop and a glass of champagne.
It is very strange, this domination of our intellect by our digestive organs.
We cannot work, we cannot think, unless our stomach wills so. It dictates to us our emotions, our passions.
The odour of Burgundy, and the smell of French sauces, and the sight of clean napkins and long loaves, knocked as a very welcome visitor at the door of our inner man.
I can see the humorous side of things and enjoy the fun when it comes;
but look where I will, there seems to me always more sadness than joy in life.
We drink [to] one another's health and spoil our own.
It is easy enough to say that poverty is no crime.
No; if it were men wouldn't be ashamed of it. It is a blunder, though, and is punished as such. A poor man is despised the whole world over.
There may be a better land where bicycle saddles are made of rainbow, stuffed with cloud; in this world the simplest thing is to get used to something hard.
The world must be rather a rough place for clever people.
Ordinary folk dislike them, and as for themselves, they hate each other most cordially.
It is a most extraordinary thing, but I never read a patent medicine advertisement without being impelled to the conclusion that I am suffering from the particular disease therein dealt with in its most virulent form.
Seek out some retired and old-world spot, far from the madding crowd, and dream away a sunny week among its drowsy lanes - some half-forgotten nook, hidden away by the fairies, out of reach of the noisy world - some quaint-perched eyrie on the cliffs of Time, from whence the surging waves of the nineteenth century would sound far-off and faint.
We are so bound together that no man can labor for himself alone.
Each blow he strikes in his own behalf helps to mold the universe.
Think of the man who first tried German sausage.
I don't know why it should be, I am sure;
but the sight of another man asleep in bed when I am up, maddens me.
I want a house that has got over all its troubles;
I don't want to spend the rest of my life bringing up a young and inexperienced house.
Too much of anything is a mistake, as the man said when his wife presented him with four new healthy children in one day. We should practice moderation in all matters.
Cheese, like oil, makes too much of itself.
I don't understand German myself. I learned it at school, but forgot every word of it two years after I had left, and have felt much better ever since.
I had walked into that reading-room a happy, healthy man. I crawled out a decrepit wreck.
It is in our faults and failings, not in our virtues, that we touch each other, and find sympathy. It is in our follies that we are one.
I saw a great Newfoundland dog the other day sitting in front of a mirror at the entrance to a shop in Regent's Circus, and examining himself with an amount of smug satisfaction that I have never seen equaled elsewhere outside a vestry meeting.
Conceit is the finest armour a man can wear.
Contented, unambitious people are all very well in their way.
They form a neat, useful background for great portraits to be painted against, and they make a respectable, if not particularly intelligent, audience for the active spirits of the age to play before. I have not a word to say against contented people so long as they keep quiet.
I should never make anything of a fisherman. I had not got sufficient imagination