68+ Johnny Vegas Quotes On Road, Loathing In Las And Witty

Johnny Vegas is a British comedian, actor and writer. He is best known for his surreal sense of humour and his catchphrase "you can't take it with you". He has appeared in many television shows and films, including Benidorm, Ideal and The All-Star Impressions Show. Following is our collection on famous quotes by Johnny Vegas on love, life, road.

Top 10 Johnny Vegas Quotes

1. There's a domino effect with certain things you say.
2. I'm getting positive feedback for my acting so we'll see if any other interesting parts come up.
3. There's lots of stuff about me being a fan of Cliff but not being gay. Which suggests that he is, but he's not. Anyway, this is Channel 4, let their lawyers sort it out.
4. It is easy for me to love myself, but for ladies to do it is another question altogether.
5. We had a week off in the middle of shooting, but as soon as everyone stopped, we all went down with six different types of flu and other unmentionable diseases.
6. My forte is playing drunks down the ages. When my agent rings me about a role, I don't ask what the part is, but what century it's in.
7. With stand-up you've just got that one chance. Audiences can be quite fickle.
8. I used to be good with kids, but as I get older, I'm grumpy and terrible with them. As for doing a gig at a 6-year old's birthday party, you couldn't pay me enough.
9. When I wasn't as attractive as I am now, I suffered at the hands of cruel children and their taunts until I realised that confidence and a bit of aesthetic care can overcome that.
10. I always feel like an interloper when I do serious drama. It's my own paranoia.

Johnny Vegas Short Quotes

• Up North you are holding your own. Everyone considers themselves a comedian.
• I've got little ankles and a bit of a belly, so it makes me look rather an egg on legs.
• I use very few muscles at the best of times.
• Had I become a priest, the sermons would've been electric!
• You can't be a proper comic unless you've been out on stage and felt the fear.
• If an original piece of wardrobe came up from Star Wars, I'd probably spend a lot of money on it.
• My work's never been accepted by my family, but it's something I'll always carry on with.
• I've got my finger in a lot of pies.
• I've spent lots of time in London, I studied in London, I like London. It's just not my home.
• I hate flying, airports and the whole rigmarole - queuing up, security and lost luggage.

Johnny Vegas Quotes About Love

I love the way my weight fluctuates in the newspapers. It was 18 stone and then people look at a bad picture of me and add a few more stone on. I think the highest was 22 stone. — Johnny Vegas

It's lovely being a parent and being in a strong marriage with somebody who is your best friend. — Johnny Vegas

I was loved as a kid; I was raised with more love and emotional support than most folks could wish for my memories aged nought to ten are all bound up together in a mesh of innocence and fun. — Johnny Vegas

Some comics are in it for what they can get out of it. Others are in it for a love of comedy. I think those that are in it for a genuine love of comedy find each other within the circuit and become friends. — Johnny Vegas

Johnny Vegas Famous Quotes And Sayings

They look outside the windows of their apartment in town and realize they're not living in a terrace anymore. This is a room full of dreamers who like to go to London for a day. — Johnny Vegas

I trained to be a priest - started to. I went to seminary school when I was 11. I wanted to be a priest, but when they told me I could never have sex, not even on my birthday, I changed my mind. — Johnny Vegas

You can sway an audience if you win the women over. The gentlemen will follow 'cause they can be so foolish like that at times, they are easily led. — Johnny Vegas

I believe that Britain is becoming more class-conscious, and I quake at the very idea of Old Etonians ruling the world again. — Johnny Vegas

I came back from university thinking I knew all about politics and racism, not knowing my dad had been one of the youngest-serving Labour councillors in the town and had refused to work in South Africa years ago because of the situation there. And he's never mentioned it - you just find out. That's a real man to me. A sleeping lion. — Johnny Vegas

I am a big fan of smelly cheeses but the rest of the family don't seem to be particularly keen on them. — Johnny Vegas

Health-wise, I couldn't have said what my life expectancy would've been if I'd just carried on doing solid blocks of stand-up. — Johnny Vegas

I also want to return to doing stand-up. I've become frightened of live audiences. This is a really telling sign that I need to go back on the comedy circuit again. — Johnny Vegas

Baldness is visually enough of a stigma as it is without a big sweaty bloke on stage pointing it out. — Johnny Vegas

My first holiday to San Francisco in 1998-99 was supposed to be a two-week vacation but I ended up staying five weeks and nearly didn't come home. — Johnny Vegas

You always hear people saying, 'I hope I'm not turning into my dad', but I'd be honoured if I became half as decent a bloke as he is. — Johnny Vegas

I actually enjoy being heckled; it keeps it interesting, and I think it is a nice feeling for people once they have left the show. — Johnny Vegas

I sang 'American Pie' a lot in my stage set. It had a knack of uniting an audience in a sing-along. It's a clever song about American history but wrapped in a fantastic tune. — Johnny Vegas

There is something more spiritual to us than what we are on this earth, but how you access it I'm not sure. — Johnny Vegas

The idea of being on TV 24 hours a day and people seeing the real me... No. — Johnny Vegas

I still give myself the right to be highly critical of others, though. — Johnny Vegas

There have been times I've finished a big job and thought, 'Great, a couple of weeks off.' But then a couple of weeks turns to three weeks and then after a month you're staring at the phone willing it to ring. — Johnny Vegas

Being 'Johnny' was almost like an out of body experience. I thought he was just a character that I'd created and could quite easily step away from, but it was much more difficult than that. — Johnny Vegas

It can be tough as a jobbing actor. — Johnny Vegas

For the greater good, I thought I should be a spiritual leader for people for some reason. — Johnny Vegas

I think I'm realising more and more that I've got a job to do and I can't be doing the big nights out and working to my full potential the next day. I feel much better for it. — Johnny Vegas

Oh, I'm terrible at travel. — Johnny Vegas

The cheese board is my big treat at Christmas that I have to deny myself during the rest of year. — Johnny Vegas

I get obsessed with decorations and decorating the house. I keep it tasteful outside, but when you get inside it is a bit like Blackpool illuminations, I go bonkers! — Johnny Vegas

I think it sort of dawns on you that if you're not gigging constantly you're not actually relevant. You may be relevant to a different part of the media now, to television commissioners and editors, but to a young live-comedy audience you're not, really. — Johnny Vegas

This autocue was obviously written for someone else and I've been brought in at the last minute. — Johnny Vegas

Never try to be witty with U.S. airport officials. It's always lost on them and you'll find yourself being put back on the plane. — Johnny Vegas

I've always been looking for other people's approval. — Johnny Vegas

I struggle as a writer, and I'm convinced that if I was at school now, I'd be termed as having ADS. Two minutes and I'm drifting. — Johnny Vegas

You know, there's that temptation in interviews to make yourself sound - well, to give yourself a bit of mystery. — Johnny Vegas

I think if you're at the point where you're popular enough to sell your wedding photos to OK! Magazine then you don't need the money. — Johnny Vegas

I avoid any kind of organised trips as that's one of my bugbears. — Johnny Vegas

I'm loath to use my personal life to promote what I do, but at the same time, I don't like a journalist going away with no more than you could get off Wikipedia, where most of it's invented anyway. — Johnny Vegas

I had a massive amount of self-belief when I did stand-up. — Johnny Vegas

I've always said that with kids' TV that people get stuck in it from drama school but that's not fair because I know myself that when you go in creatively, kids are so much more open to ideas. You're so much freer to mess about and try things. — Johnny Vegas

I've got too much respect for stand-ups to call myself one. — Johnny Vegas

Comedy's so subjective, and if someone comes to watch, doesn't get it, doesn't find it funny, then fine. — Johnny Vegas

My agent once said, 'You're not very driven.' And it's true. I'm not the type to ring up and go, 'Get me this part!' — Johnny Vegas

Writing a book about yourself is like therapy, and you go 'Oh My God, that's the reason that happened.' Writing about it, you're forced to really examine things. — Johnny Vegas

The people on the QVC shopping channel convince me that life is worth living. They see the good in everything. People who go to counselling should actually go to a room with a QVC seller for half an hour and let them find the qualities within them. For example, they'd look at me and say, 'To anybody else this looks like a stomach but, actually, his feet never get wet in the rain. — Johnny Vegas

You don't want to be flattered and become big-headed by getting awards. But, well, I am. — Johnny Vegas

We all have days where we can't pronounce things or give it the emotion it deserves. — Johnny Vegas

I used to attract a lot of feeders. I'd be quite happy to be locked in someone's flat and fed liquidised burgers. — Johnny Vegas

Class still matters in Britain today. — Johnny Vegas

Life Lessons by Johnny Vegas

1. Johnny Vegas teaches us to be confident in our own unique style and to embrace the humour that comes from the everyday.
2. He also encourages us to be open-minded and to look for the humour in the unexpected.
3. Finally, he shows us that it's important to take risks and to have fun with our comedy, even if it means occasionally failing.