26+ Paul Merton Quotes On Education, Religion And Bible

Paul Merton is a British comedian, writer, actor, and television presenter. He is best known for his improvisation skills and his appearances on the BBC panel show Have I Got News for You. Merton has also had a successful career as a stand-up comedian, with several sell-out tours and comedy specials. Following is our collection on famous quotes by Paul Merton on education, leadership, religion.

Top 10 Paul Merton Quotes

1. I was trying to organise my DVDs into a sort of chronological order, and I am afraid that it all trailed off after the Sixties.
2. My school days were the happiest days of my life; which should give you some indication of the misery I've endured over the past twenty-five years.
3. All disc jockeys are without talent. Noel Edmonds - I can't stand Noel Edmonds.
4. I'll never forget my first experience of swede. It was at school and I thought I was getting mashed potato. I've never got over it.
5. I don't always vote in general elections, but I think I've always voted Labour.
6. If you stay in a house and you go to the bathroom and there is no toilet paper, you can always slide down the banisters. Don't tell me you haven't done it.
7. And like the old stereotype, I overcame my shyness by making my friends laugh.
8. I really don't take any interest at all in contemporary comedy.
9. My favourite riposte to a heckle is to say, 'Excuse me, I'm trying to work here. How would you like it if I stood yelling down the alley while you're giving blow jobs to transsexuals?'
10. In fact, I don't watch a lot of contemporary comedy for fear of being influenced by it.

Paul Merton Short Quotes

• Am I allowed to call myself working-class now? Because obviously I'm now very rich.
• I don't consider myself a fashion victim. I consider fashion a victim of me.
• Have you ever had sex with a horse?
• I think having an outsider's viewpoint is interesting and good, especially for a comedian.
• Well, sanity, I suppose, is getting people to see the world your way.

Paul Merton Famous Quotes And Sayings

I'm always amazed to hear of air crash victims so badly mutilated that they have to be identified by their dental records. What I can't understand is, if they don't know who you are, how do they know who your dentist is? — Paul Merton

It seems like a contradiction, but the shy person who is a performer actually does make sense, because in a way, when you're young and shy, making people laugh is a good way to make friends. It's an instant connection. — Paul Merton

In 1987, I was in Edinburgh doing my first one-man show. I took part in a kickabout with some fellow comedians and tripped over my trousers and heard this cracking sound in my leg. A couple of days later I went into a coma and was diagnosed with a pulmonary embolism. — Paul Merton

It was a bizarre existence I led in my early twenties - that cliche of the comedian who goes out and entertains a roomful of people and then goes home to a lonely bedsit was unbelievably poignant for me because that was exactly what I was doing. I had periods of real loneliness. — Paul Merton

When I was nine I spent a lot of my time reading books about the history of comedy, or listening to the Goons or Hancock, humour from previous generations. — Paul Merton

I remember being fascinated by the very nature of comedy from the age of 10; why is this funny, and that isn't? — Paul Merton

I looked at longevity in show business when I was about 13, and the people who seemed to have longevity were the ones who'd spent quite a bit of time learning about what they were doing before they made it. — Paul Merton

I have never sold my story, done Hello! magazine, any of that stuff. I'm not guilty of exploiting my private life for cash and then saying, 'Oh, I don't want to talk about my private life.' I've never crossed that line. — Paul Merton

When I used to do the Edinburgh Festival, there was a bunch of guys selling fresh oysters and I'd eat ten daily - marvellous. — Paul Merton

I've never been disappointed by politicians. I've never invested that much in them in the first place. — Paul Merton

On my first day in New York a guy asked me if I knew where Central Park was. When I told him I didn't he said, 'Do you mind if I mug you here?'. — Paul Merton

Life Lessons by Paul Merton

1. Paul Merton teaches us to never take ourselves too seriously and to be open to the idea of laughing at our own mistakes.
2. He also reminds us to be creative and to think outside the box when it comes to comedy, as he often draws inspiration from unusual sources.
3. Finally, he encourages us to be unafraid of being vulnerable and to embrace the power of self-deprecating humour.