These are the days when it takes all you've got just to keep up with the losers.

Robert Orben on competition
7

Time flies. It's up to you to be the navigator.

Robert Orben on time
5

Quit worrying about your health. It will go away.

Robert Orben on fitness
5

Quit worrying about your health. It'll go away.

Robert Orben on health
5

Old people shouldn't eat health foods. They need all the preservatives they can get.

Robert Orben on age
3

I take my children everywhere, but they always find their way back home.

Robert Orben on parenting
3

Never raise your hand to your children - it leaves your midsection unprotected.

Robert Orben on funny
3

Do you ever get the feeling that the only reason we have elections is to find out if the polls were right?

Robert Orben on politics
2

Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work.

Robert Orben on wealth
2

To err is human - and to blame it on a computer is even more so.

Robert Orben on computers
2

Illegal aliens have always been a problem in the United States. Ask any Indian.

Robert Orben on illegal
2

There's so much pollution in the air now that if it weren't for our lungs there'd be no place to put it all.

Robert Orben on air
1

About Robert Orben

Name Robert Orben
Quotes 28 quotes
Nationality American
Profession Entertainer
Birthday October 16
About Robert Orben is an American magician and professional comedy writer. He is also an author of books for magicians.
Top topics people, health, work, taxes, preservatives

Washington is a place where politicians don't know which way is up and taxes don't know which way is down.

Robert Orben on city
0

Do your kids a favor - don't have any.

Robert Orben on favor
0

Most people would like to be delivered from temptation but would like it to keep in touch.

Robert Orben on delivered
0

Every speaker has a mouth; An arrangement rather neat. Sometimes it's filled with wisdom. Sometimes it's filled with feet.

Robert Orben on speeches
0

A graduation ceremony is an event where the commencement speaker tells thousands of students dressed in identical caps and gowns that 'individuality' is the key to success.

Robert Orben on graduation
0

Inflation is bringing us true democracy.

For the first time in history, luxuries and necessities are selling at the same price.

Robert Orben on inflation
0

Time flies. Its up to you to be the navigator

Robert Orben on time
0

In prehistoric times, mankind often had only two choices in crisis situations: fight or flee. In modern times, humor offers us a third alternative; fight, flee - or laugh.

Robert Orben on alternative
0

More than ever before, Americans are suffering from back problems, back taxes, back rent, back auto payments.

Robert Orben on money
0

Don't think of it as failure. Think of it as time-released success.

Robert Orben on failure
0

More than ever before, Americans are suffering from back problems: back taxes, back rent, back auto payments.

Robert Orben on auto
0

Life was a lot simpler when what we honored was father and mother rather than all major credit cards.

Robert Orben on society
0

Inflation is the crabgrass in your savings.

Robert Orben on inflation
0

Every morning I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work.

Robert Orben on morning
0

Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get.

Robert Orben on funny
0

If you can laugh together, you can work together.

Robert Orben on laugh
0