Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work.

— Robert Orben

The most stunning Robert Orben quotes that will be huge advantage for your personal development

If at first you don't succeed-try, try again.

Don't think of it as failure. Think of it as timed-release success.

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There's so much pollution in the air now that if it weren't for our lungs there'd be no place to put it all.

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A graduation ceremony is an event where the commencement speaker tells thousands of students dressed in identical caps and gowns that 'individuality' is the key to success.

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Time flies. It's up to you to be the navigator.

44

Illegal aliens have always been a problem in the United States. Ask any Indian.

31

Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get.

27

A compliment is verbal sunshine.

25

The next time you feel like complaining, remember that your garbage disposal probably eats better than 30 percent of the people in the world

20

Most people would like to be delivered from temptation but would like it to keep in touch.

18

To err is human - and to blame it on a computer is even more so.

16

There are only two kinds of people in this world.

The realists and the dreamers. The realists know where they are going and the dreamers have already been there.

16

In prehistoric times, mankind often had only two choices in crisis situations: fight or flee. In modern times, humor offers us a third alternative; fight, flee - or laugh.

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About Robert Orben

Quotes 109 sayings
Nationality American
Profession Entertainer
Birthday October 16

If you can laugh together, you can work together.

14

Do you ever get the feeling that the only reason we have elections is to find out if the polls were right?

13

More than ever before, Americans are suffering from back problems: back taxes, back rent, back auto payments.

13

Quit worrying about your health. It'll go away.

12

These are the days when it takes all you've got just to keep up with the losers.

11

Anybody with a good sense of humor is one-up on their competition.

We respond to somebody who has the ability to make us laugh. It's a bonding influence.

10

The best birthdays of all are those that haven't arrived yet.

10

Here's to all volunteers, those dedicated people who believe in all work and no pay.

9

For Father's Day, my kids always give me a bottle of cologne called English Leather. It's appropriate! To them I always smell like a wallet.

8

Summit meetings tend to be like panda matings.

The expectations are always high, and the results usually disappointing.

8

Did you ever see that painting the Mona Lisa.

It always reminds me of a reporter listening to a politician.

7

Inflation is bringing us true democracy.

For the first time in history, luxuries and necessities are selling at the same price.

7

I take my children everywhere, but they always find their way back home.

7

Successful salesman: someone who has found a cure for the common cold shoulder.

7

Humor is the most honest of emotions.

Applause for a speech can be insincere, but with humor, if the audience doesn't like it there's no faking it.

6

Noise pollution is a relative thing. In a city, it's a jet plane taking off. In a monastery, it's a pen that scratches.

6

Individuality' is the key to success.

6

Wait'll next year! is the favorite cry of baseball fans, football fans, hockey fans, and gardeners.

6

Life was a lot simpler when what we honored was father and mother rather than all major credit cards.

5

Quit worrying about your health. It will go away.

5

Very few people ever meet celebrities.

All we really know is what we read about them and the most memorable lines are jokes. That's how we tend to define what we think of a public figure.

5

Inflation is the crabgrass in your savings.

5

I always wondered why babies spend so much time sucking their thumbs. Then I tasted baby food.

5

I understand the big food companies are developing a tearless onion.

I think they can do it - after all, they've already given us tasteless bread.

4

Every speaker has a mouth; An arrangement rather neat. Sometimes it's filled with wisdom. Sometimes it's filled with feet.

4

What if the meek inherited the Earth and we had to defend ourselves from Martians?

4

Never raise your hand to your children - it leaves your midsection unprotected.

3

We're supposed to take our problems to a family adviser.

Personally, I've never met a family adviser. They're all off somewhere listening to dirty stories.

3

Remember the days when you let your child have some chocolate if he finished his cereal? Now, chocolate is one of the cereals.

3

I don't want to say anything about my kids...but I go to PTA meetings under an assumed name!

3

Spring is God's way of saying, 'One more time!'

3

It may be the way the cookie crumbles on Madison Avenue, but in Hong Kong its the way the egg rolls.

3

Old people shouldn't eat health foods. They need all the preservatives they can get.

3

The Playboy Calendar this year has some tiptop models. Any more top and they'd tip.

3

Lincoln was known to have walked miles to borrow books, to get the most rudimentary form of education. So what do we do on his birthday? We close the schools!

2

Happiness is contagious. Be a carrier!!

1

A toast to the weapons of war, may they rust in peace.

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