24+ Russell Howard Quotes On Education, Marriage And 2021

Russell Howard is a British comedian, actor, and presenter. He is best known for his TV show Russell Howard's Good News and his appearances on Mock the Week. He is also known for his stand-up comedy tours, which have been seen by over a million people. Following is our collection on famous quotes by Russell Howard on education, marriage, love.

Top 10 Russell Howard Quotes

1. Do you reckon the Queen has ever pulled a blanket up so just her head's showing and gone 'Philip, look at me! I'm a stamp!'
2. I lived with a guy who had OCD and I used to put Rice Krispies in his slippers before I went out. He went mental, but not before he counted them all.
3. I lost my virginity under a bridge. I was having sex with this poor girl and I was trying my best, but I was like Scotland at a World Cup - just pleased to be there.
4. Inner child, what do you suggest? 'I WANT A TREEHOUSE!' Anything else to add? 'FARTY NOISE UNDER THE ARM!'
5. Kids did really well in their A levels, how do we respond? 'A Levels are getting easier, in my day you had to do fifty questions in a minute, if you got one wrong, they killed your dad!
6. Are you recycling? Are you!? You just killed a polar bear! YOU!
7. 'Come back here, I'm a police officer!' and I shouted back 'No you're not! You're a monster!'
8. If I were to die of anything vaguely sex-related or had taken Viagra, you just know there'd be headlines of 'Russell How-hard' in the newspapers.
9. When you're three, you're into custard, and jumping.
10. From the makers of Alien vs. Predator: Alien vs. Pingu. K9 - stop humping the toaster!

Russell Howard Short Quotes

• I like the authentic punk dance you did there. It's like a child dizzy off lemonade
• This bloke was so pissed, he thought his vomit had come to life!
• I've never said flange to a monkey!
• The last time I saw African kids this excited, Madonna was at their school with a net.
• The Bible says gays arent natural. What, and a talking snake is?!
• Have you ever thought about letting Cheesus into your Life?
• What's the opposite of opposite? Consider yourself bamboozled!

Russell Howard Famous Quotes And Sayings

Unlikely things to see in a Valentine's card - "I may be dyslexic but that doesn't mean I don't vole you." — Russell Howard

I'm the munter of my friends. I've got wonky teeth and a lazy eye. My friend Rob is disgusted I'm a heart-throb. — Russell Howard

She's 80 my nan, what do you want for your birthday? "SHREDDER!! GET ME A SHREDDER!!", what do you want a shredder for? "IDENTITY THEFT!!". — Russell Howard

Some people in England only have their wheelie bins collected once a fortnight. Their suffering is unimaginable. — Russell Howard

With Michael Jackson, what I thought was really interesting was the people saying: 'He looked really well in that final video.' I was, like: 'No, he didn't - he looked like someone had melted goat's cheese over a sex doll.' — Russell Howard

Music's the best thing we do as humans, isn't it? Music, I mean you flail your limbs, make you move in a way you don't understand. Or it can make you weep like a sailor's wife staring at a storm. — Russell Howard

So my mum bought a jacuzzi, and I was in there along with my father and my sister, when my mother decided it would be the ideal moment to say - 'Guess what everyone in this jacuzzi has in common? You've all sucked on my tits.' — Russell Howard

Life Lessons by Russell Howard

1. Russell Howard teaches us to be open-minded and to challenge our own preconceptions and prejudices. He encourages us to look at the world from different perspectives, and to think critically about the issues that affect us.
2. He also shows us the importance of using humour to make difficult topics more accessible and to bring people together. By making us laugh, he helps us to understand and empathise with each other, regardless of our backgrounds and beliefs.
3. Finally, Russell Howard reminds us that we can use comedy to create positive change in the world, inspiring us to take action and make a difference.