quote by Dave Barry

Sharks are as tough as those football fans who take their shirts off during games in Chicago in January, only more intelligent.

— Dave Barry

Courageous 26 january quotes that are about funny january

In early January I introduced my legislation, which, besides prohibiting Federal funding of human cloning, also expresses the sense of Congress that foreign nations should establish total prohibition on human cloning as well.

Winter is the time for comfort, for good food and warmth, for the touch of a friendly hand and for a talk beside the fire: it is the time for home.

We spend January 1st walking through our lives, room by room, drawing up a list of work to be done, cracks to be patched. Maybe this year, to balance the list, we ought to walk through the rooms of our lives...not looking for flaws, but for potential.

Every man should be born again on the first day of January.

Start with a fresh page. Take up one hole more in the buckle if necessary, or let down one, according to circumstances; but on the first of January let every man gird himself once more, with his face to the front, and take no interest in the things that were and are past.

The Emancipation Proclamation, signed by President Abraham Lincoln, was put into effect on January 1, 1863, but news of the Proclamation and enforcement did not reach Texas until after the end of the Civil War almost two years later.

The twelve months... Snowy, Flowy, Blowy, Showery, Flowery, Bowery, Hoppy, Croppy, Droppy, Breeze, Sneezy, Freezy.

By the time I stepped down as Xerox's CEO in 2009 - and as chairman in January 2010 - Xerox had become the vibrant, profitable and revitalized company that it still is today. What made the difference was a strong turnaround plan, dedicated people and a firm commitment from company leaders.

January brings the snow, makes our feet and fingers glow.

The cold was our pride, the snow was our beauty.

It fell and fell, lacing day and night together in a milky haze, making everything quieter as it fell, so that winter seemed to partake of religion in a way no other season did, hushed, solemn.

I miss everything about Chicago, except January and February.

Just because Congress passes a law and says it's all right to do a certain thing does not mean that it's all right to do it. Abortion is still just as wrong today as it was the first day of January, 1973.

The hiss was now becoming a roar - the whole world was a vast moving screen of snow - but even now it said peace, it said remoteness, it said cold, it said sleep.

Through the chill of December the early winter moans.

.. but it's that January wind that rattles old bones.

The sun came out, And the snowman cried.

His tears ran down on every side. His tears ran down Till the spot was cleared. He cried so hard That he disappeared.

The Lord IS my shepherd. Not was, not may be, nor will be. . . is my shepherd on Sunday, is on Monday, and is through every day of the week; is in January, is in December, and every month of the year, is at home, and is in China; is in peace, and is in war; in abundance, and in penury.

Whose woods these are I think I know.

His house is in the village though; He will not see me stopping here To watch his woods fill up with snow.

The only thing that stops a bad guy with a gun is a good guy with a gun.

I call on Congress today to act immediately, to appropriate whatever is necessary to put armed police officers in every school - and to do it now, to make sure that blanket of safety is in place when our children return to school in January.

When I was 14 -years-old, I made this PowerPoint presentation, and I invited my parents into my room and gave them popcorn. It was called 'Project Hollywood 2004' and it worked. I moved to L.A. in January of 2004.

There is a shortage of teachers but the January 2001 schools census showed that teacher numbers were at their highest level than at any time since 1984 - and 11,000 higher than 1997.

There is a shortage of teachers but the January 2001 schools census showed that teacher numbers were at their highest level than at any time since 1984 - and 11,000 higher than 1997.

A stock market decline is as routine as a January blizzard in Colorado.

If you're prepared, it can't hurt you. A decline is a great opportunity to pick up the bargains left behind by investors who are fleeing the storm in panic.

Maybe this year, we ought to walk through the rooms of our lives not looking for flaws, but looking for potential.

Ring out the old, ring in the new, Ring, happy bells, across the snow: The year is going, let him go; Ring out the false, ring in the true.

Feeling a little blue in January is normal.

Honestly, I just go to restaurants to eat so I won't die.

If there was a pill I could take in January and then I wouldn't have to eat again for the rest of the year, I would take it. Of course, I wouldn't want to sacrifice my chocolate cake and ice cream.

January Jones - January Kristen Jones (born January 5, 1978) is an American actress and model, best known for portraying the role of Betty Draper in Mad Men (2007–2015)

2016 in aviation - territory, and also reserves to itself the right to veto any U.S. mission. 2 January Indian aerial surveillance platforms detect a group of gunmen entering

Timeline of Russian interference in the 2016 United States elections - occurred during the presidential transition from November 9, 2016, to January 20, 2017, and continued through the first and second halves of 2017; the

Timeline of the COVID-19 pandemic in January 2020 - Huanan Seafood Market was closed on 1 January 2020 for "remediation". However, in the Consortium's report of 24 January 2020, it was stated that the Huanan

January 1 - January 1 is the first day of the year in the Gregorian Calendar. There are 364 days remaining until the end of the year (365 in leap years). This day

Deaths in January 2020 - The following is a list of notable deaths in January 2020. Entries for each day are listed alphabetically by surname. A typical entry lists information

January 4 - January 4 is the fourth day of the year in the Gregorian calendar. 361 days remain until the end of the year (362 in leap years). 46 BC – Julius Caesar

January 5 - January 5 is the fifth day of the year in the Gregorian calendar. 360 days remain until the end of the year (361 in leap years). 1477 – Battle of Nancy:

January 7 - January 7 is the seventh day of the year in the Gregorian calendar. 358 days remain until the end of the year (359 in leap years). 1325 – Alfonso IV becomes

No one ever regarded the First of January with indifference.

It is that from which all date their time, and count upon what is left. It is the nativity of our common Adam.

Every man should be born again on the first day of January. Start with a fresh page

No one ever regarded the first of January with indifference.

Without Valentine's Day, February would be... well, January.

Since January 2002, when the United States began detaining at Guantanamo Bay enemy combatants captured in Afghanistan, Iraq, and other fronts in the war on terror, critics have complained of human rights abuses.

Since, O sweet Lord Jesus, Thou art the present portion of Thy people, favour us this year with such a sense of Thy preciousness, that from its first to its last day we may be glad and rejoice in Thee. Let January open with joy in the Lord, and December close with gladness in Jesus.

Leaves like rusty tin for the desolate mind that has seen the end- the barest glimmerings. Leaves aswirl with gulls made wild by winter.

December is the toughest month of the year.

Others are July, January, September, April, November, May, March, June, October, August, and February.

Lots of people go mad in January. Not as many as in May, of course. Nor June. But January is your third most common month for madness.

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