75 Lap Quotes
Following is our list of lap quotations and slogans full of insightful wisdom and perspective about lap dances.
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Short Lap Quotes
- Police on my drawers I had to pause 40 ounce in my lap And it's freezing my balls — Eazy-E
- There's no better feeling in the world than a warm pizza box on your lap. — Kevin James
- I keep chicks in my lap, throwing me head fakes! — Fabolous
- Pansies in soft April rains Fill their stalks with honeyed sap Drawn from Earth's prolific lap. — Bayard Taylor
- I'm no one's lap dog, you can't put me on a leash. — Johnny Rotten
- I never use a napkin on my lap at a restaurant...because I believe in myself. — Hannibal Buress
- No louder shrieks to pitying heaven are cast, When husbands or lap-dogs breathe their last. — Alexander Pope
- A rich child often sits in a poor mothers lap. — Proverbs
- I've been in more laps than a napkin. — Mae West
- Few things are more delightful than grandchildren fighting over your lap. — Doug Larson
Lap Dogs Quotes
If a dog jumps into your lap, it is because he is fond of you; but if a cat does the same thing, it is because your lap is warmer. — Alfred North Whitehead
The unpleasant sound Bush is emitting as he traipses from one conservative gathering to another is a thin, tinny "arf" - the sound of a lap dog. — George Will
When an eighty-five pound mammal licks your tears away, then tries to sit on your lap, it's hard to feel sad. — Kristan Higgins
O, girls! set your affections on cats, poodles, parrots or lap-dogs; but let matrimony alone. It's the hardest way on earth to getting a living. — Fanny Fern
People, like dogs, love repetition. Chasing a ball, lapping a course in a race car, sliding down a slide. Because as much as each incident is similar, so it is different. — Garth Stein
When I say "dogs", I'm talking about dogs, which are large, bounding, salivating animals, usually with bad breath. I am not talking about those little squeaky things you can hold on your lap and carry around. Zoologically speaking, these are not dogs at all; they are members of the pillow family. — Dave Barry
I'm on Facebook and the Internet EVERY DAY NUMEROUS TIMES A DAY.Sorry about the shouting but I can't help myself. My mother said her dog (a lapdog) never sits on my lap because I always have the laptop on it. — Franny Armstrong
If you can't distinguish people from lap-dogs, you shouldn't undertake philanthropic work. — Anton Chekhov
Lap-dogs and blood-hounds enjoy the greatest respect at court; house-dogs and no dogs at all are not even considered. — Franz Grillparzer
Some women run with wolves, but the majority would be much happier with your basic lap dog. — Paula Wall
Lap Dances Quotes
If you're looking at the Bible for a guide to living a compassionate, wise and humane life, well, frankly you've got more chance of finding a lap dancing club in Mekka or a virgin in a catholic orphanage. — Pat Condell
I dont see why people are so snooty about Channel Five. It has some respectable documentaries about the Second World War. It also devotes considerable airtime to investigations into lap-dancing, and other related and vital subjects — Boris Johnson
When I got a lap dance, because I was 17, they had to put a massive pillow between me and the girl when she was grinding me. It was weird, yet pleasurable. — Emile Hirsch
I love that red wine is good for you. Isn't that cool? I want to hear more of this. I want to hear more things in life like, Red wine, in conjunction with a lap dance, while watching NFL football, is the best cardiovascular workout you can have. — Dom Irrera
I have never had a lap dance in Tampa or any other part of Florida. If I ever did have a lap dance, I don't think I would be discussing television ideas with the girl that was giving it to me. — Stan Lee
Space tourism is God's way of telling you you aren't spending enough on lap dances, baccarat and cocaine. — Bill Maher
We must regard Sarah Palin as the Carmella Soprano of the GOP -- an enabling wife of organized crime, who sees, hears and speaks no evil of the boys in her old-boy network for whom she does this ideological lap dance. — Cintra Wilson
Precious few are those who can live in the lap of luxury ... who can keep their moral, spiritual and financial equilibrium ... while balancing on the elevated tightrope of success. ... there is about one in a hundred who can dance to the tune of success without paying the piper named Compromise. — Charles R. Swindoll
It doesn't bother me if my boyfriend gets a lap dance when I'm there. I'm secure with myself so whats the big deal? — Stacy Keibler
Even at the End of Days, there will be lap dancing. — Chris Rose
People Writing About Lap
| Name | Quotes | Likes |
|---|---|---|
 Eazy-E |
18 | 1159 |
 Kevin James |
39 | 276 |
 Fabolous |
23 | 2343 |
 Bayard Taylor |
73 | 419 |
 Johnny Rotten |
12 | 165 |
 Hannibal Buress |
45 | 480 |
More Lap Quotes
Later that night, I held an atlas on my lap, ran my fingers across the whole world, and whispered, ‘where does it hurt?’ It answered, everywhere, everywhere, everywhere. — Warsan Shire
But grief still has to be worked through. It is like walking through water. Sometimes there are little waves lapping about my feet. Sometimes there is an enormous breaker that knocks me down. Sometimes there is a sudden and fierce squall. But I know that many waters cannot quench love, neither can the floods drown it. — Madeleine L'Engle
I believe in destiny. But I also believe that you can’t just sit back and let destiny happen. A lot of times, an opportunity might fall into your lap, but you have to be ready for that opportunity. You can’t sit there waiting on it. A lot of times you are going to have to get out there and make it happen. — Spike Lee
Satan will be ready to help forward such thoughts as a fit medium to lift thee up , and slacken thy care in duty for the future. Such discoveries do indeed bear witness to the truth of thy grace, but not to the degree and measure of it. The weak child may be, yea, is, oftener in the lap than the strong. — William Gurnall
Long stormy spring-time, wet contentious April, winter chilling the lap of very May; but at length the season of summer does come. — Thomas Carlyle
You have a 45mm automatic pistol on your lap, and I have a 35mm camera on my lap, and my weapon is just as powerful as yours. (To Black Panther militant Eldridge Cleaver) — Gordon Parks
Nothing comes easy. Success doesn't just drop on your lap. You have to go out and fight for it every day. — Dana White
This is a place where grandmothers hold babies on their laps under the stars and whisper in their ears that the lights in the sky are holes in the floor of heaven. — Rick Bragg
I don't have a problem with delegation. I love to delegate. I am either lazy enough, or busy enough, or trusting enough, or congenial enough, that the notion leaving tasks in someone else's lap doesn't just sound wise to me, it sounds attractive. — John Ortberg
Whoever will be free must make himself free. Freedom is no fairy gift to fall into a man's lap. What is freedom? To have the will to be responsible for one's self. — Max Stirner
I remember learning to drive on my dad's lap. Did you guys ever do that? He'd work the brakes. I'd work the wheel. Then I went to take the driver's test and sat on the examiner's lap. I failed the exam. But he still writes to me. That's the really nice part. — Garry Shandling
Come into my lap and sit in the center of your soul. Drink the living waters of memory and give birth to yourself. What you unearth with stun you. You will paint the walls of this cave in thanksgiving. — Meinrad Craighead
There is nothing like lying flat on your back on the deck, alone except for the helmsman aft at the wheel, silence except for the lapping of the sea against the side of the ship. At that time you can be equal to Ulysses and brother to him. — Errol Flynn
Why can't we build orphanages next to homes for the elderly? If someone were sitting in a rocker, it wouldn't be long before a kid will be in his lap. — Cloris Leachman
Unlike the boundaries of the sea by the shorelines, the "ocean of air" laps at the border of every state, city, town and home throughout the world. — L. Welch Pogue
My schedule has not calmed down, but I'm definitely not so devastated as I used to be. Definitely cooler now. A lot of blessings have fallen into my lap, and I'm very thankful to receive all of them. — Joey Badass
What happiness it is to listen to rain at night; joyful relief, ease; a lapping-round and hushing and brooding tenderness, all are mingled together in the sound of the fast-falling rain. God, looking down upon the rainy earth, sees how faint are these lights shining in little windows, - how easily put out. — Katherine Mansfield
Good things aren't supposed to just fall into your lap. God is very generous, but He expects you to do your part first. — Audrey Hepburn
Nothing is born of nothing, least of all knowledge, modernity, or enlightened thought; progress is made in tiny surges, in successive laps, like an endless relay race. But there are links without which nothing would be passed on, and for that reason, they deserve the gratitude of all who benefited from them. — Amin Maalouf
First, we are born in the same galaxy. Born of the same species. Our lifetimes overlap. The meetings between humans are so unlikely as to be miraculous. To laugh, to cry, and to fall in love. Everyone is made up of a collection of 1% chances. Thus, I am dazzled by the fact that there are so many miracles in this world. — Hikaru Nakamura
For a quick lap at the Nrburgring, you've probably experienced more in seven minutes...than most people have experienced in all their life in the way of fear, in the way of tension, in the way of animosity towards machinery and to a racetrack. — Jackie Stewart
He himself will go into the drain and take his boy in his own lap. He will clean his dress, clean his clothes, clean his body; and afterward he will say, "My boy, you should walk carefully." — Prabhat Ranjan Sarkar
To think, "I am a sinner, oh Father, save me," is a defective approach! You should say, "I am your son, I am your daughter, oh Father, take me on your lap, I am your child." This will be the approach. You should forget what you do not want. — Prabhat Ranjan Sarkar
With two laps to go then the action will begin, unless this is the action, which it is. — Murray Walker
She's been on more laps than a napkin. — Walter Winchell
My uncle's dying wish - he wanted me on his lap. He was in the electric chair. — Rodney Dangerfield
Our lives are not in the lap of the gods, but in the lap of our cooks. — Lin Yutang
Love lieth deep; Love dwells not in lip-depths; Love laps his wings on either side the heart Absorbing all the incense of sweet thoughts, So that they pass not to the shrine of sound. — Alfred Lord Tennyson
In the deserted harbour there is yet water that laps against the quays. In the dark and silent forest, there is a leaf that falls. Behind the polished panelling the white ant eats away the wood. Nothing is ever quiet, except for fools — Alan Paton
One of my earliest memories involves sitting on my dad’s lap in his studio in the garage of our house and watching him draw. I remember thinking: ‘I want to do that, too,’ and I pretty much decided then and there at age 2½ or 3 that I was an artist just like Dad. — Kara Walker
It's not always the case that things will fall into your lap or that life will be great, but it's all about perspective and having a positive outlook. If something goes wrong you say: "That happened for a reason, what can I learn from that and how can I grow?" — Chris Pine
It's all about the work. Nothing is going to fall into your lap. — Russell Simmons
In Conclusion
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