When I get a chance to play golf or go on a boat with good people, take the boat out and put some lobsters on the grill, get the ice-cold beer and the cigars - that's heaven here on earth.— Bernie Mac
The most strong Bernie Mac quotes that are glad to read
Whatever you hear at the barber shop, stays at the barber shop.
I learned hard lessons in life; I had to because I had so much happen: My mother died my sophomore year in high school. The next year, same day, my brother dropped dead. Two years after that, I got married because my girlfriend got pregnant. The year after my wedding, my father - who I had only recently met - died.
You can't change what happened. Just like you can't change the future by worrying about it. You just have to keep moving.
When it comes to raising children, I believe in give and take. I give orders and they take 'em.
I'm not afraid to fail. Sometimes when you lose, you win. Sometimes when you win, you lose.
Suffering is a good teacher. It keeps you in its grip until you've learned your lesson.
I have Glocks, .45s, Berettas, Remingtons. I like the marksmanship and the discipline that it takes to be a gun owner. I like the machinery. Being able to take it out and clean it is even more fascinating than having the gun.
If you mess something up, remember who got you there.
Don't be pointing fingers, even if finger-pointing is called for. Only one you got to blame is your own self.
I don't care about how I look; I'm dedicated to the laughs. You know, I used to be a clown, so - my name was Smoothie the Clown. All the training I had, all my training is geared toward making people laugh, and I didn't care about being cool.
Only way you can you get upset is when you expecting something.
I want to speak directly to the audience, to say, 'I'm like you - I'm frustrated, I'm not an expert, I don't have a manual on parenting, I make mistakes, I'm selfish too.'
I was in love with a lot of people, because I was a student of the game of comedy - Carol Burnett, Jack Benny, Red Skelton, Jackie Gleason, Don Rickles, Red Foxx, Moms Mabley - who gets no credit, Richard Pryor, Bill Cosby, George Kirby. I loved them all, and I used to just take a page out of all of them.
Hugs aren't like pieces of pie. Plenty of hugs to go around.
People like rumors. They're going to say things like, 'You was at the club with Lil' Kim, and you and Kanye West got into a fist fight.' You can't get upset. You've got to keep hope alive.
America...Do not touch my TV, my DVD, my stereo, my dual-deck VCR. Do not touch my old school, my new school, my slow jams, my party jams, my happy rap, and you better not touch...My James Brown.
I love my daughter, but there's a certain feeling, a certain emotion when you got a granddaughter, you know?
It took me a long time to get to where I'm at, in my career and as a man.
I was going through my trials and tribulations in life, and it gave me the strength to tackle things that have come my way.
Jerry Weintraub, the producer, might be a pain in the ass, but he really knows how to treat his actors.
When you're offstage, that's the footprint. That's the man God's gonna judge.
Shut up before I drop yo ass off at Koreatown.
Now hold on, America, don't start writing no letters. I'm just kidding. But am I lying?
Okay, first rule of this carpool. No breaking wind in my car. The only gas that Bernie Mac want to be smelling is unleaded.
I'm not a star, and I don't want to be a star.
Stars fall. I'm an ordinary guy with an extraordinary job.
You have to meet all of the challenges, big and small. Because how you start is how you finish.
I came up in the community center. I used to be physical director of the South Central Community Center in Chicago on 83rd. It's still there. It used to be around there when I was a kid.
I hate to let people down. I was like that in sports and I was like that in comedy. I was like that at work. When I worked General Motors and stuff like that, when I say something, I mean it.
Making people laugh is what I've been doing since I was like four or five years old. I still have a lust, I still have a passion. I don't care about how I look, I'm dedicated to the laughs.
That's the whole key to anything: Don't be afraid to fail. And is not afraid to fail.
As I got older, I got into all kinds of things in the streets - but for some reason, I never got caught up with the gangs growing up. Everybody dug me, man. I never had problems.
I get facials. I get a manicure and pedicure every week. I get my hair cut, and I oil myself down from head to toe. I got that from my brother. I was so impressed with how high maintenance he was. When he left the room, you could still smell him for an hour.
I'm an ordinary guy with an extraordinary job.
I was good at keeping my mother from crying.
I want to do something that people can really say, 'Hey, man, that was good, I'm proud of you, I'm proud of that.' 'Pride' and 'Transformers' and things like that.
My comedy comes from pain. I can't stand to see someone hurting.
I've introduced myself with comedy, and once you've introduced yourself as something, that's where people keep you. That's where people like to hold you.
Bernie Mac don't sugarcoat.
When I go onstage, I want to relieve your mind, your pressures.
I always wanted to scuba dive. I used to scuba dive undercover like black Aquaman.
My humor had changed from foolishness to making sense.
My grandmother always told me how you start is how you finish.
I want people to say at the end of my day, you know, like I used to say about Sidney Poitier and James Cagney and Joan Crawford and Red Skelton and those guys and Bill Cosby. They did quality and substance. You always remember them.
Why do people love Richard Pryor so much? 'Cause he had problems.
When I hit my 20s, I struggled to make it.
I got married at 19, and my daughter, Je'Niece, was born a year later. I worked blue collar jobs during the day and comedy clubs at night, and I was earning about $25 a year doing stand-up.
I've been in training for stardom.
It's a pleasure to work with someone who is just as strong as you are.
Stand-up is what I am; stand-up is what made me.
The success of my comedy has been not being afraid to touch on subject matters or issues that everyone else is politically scared of.