... no matter how nice you are to some people, they'll turn their back on you the second they get the chance.

— Jeff Kinney

The most interesting Jeff Kinney quotes you will be delighted to read

Because it's our choices that makes us who we are.

32

I think if everyone would write down the funny stories from their own childhoods, the world would be a better place.

24

I'm probably something like 95% chicken nugget

19

Dear Aunt Loretta, Thank you so much for the awesome pants! How did you know I wanted that for Christmas? I love the way the pants look on my legs! All my friends will be so jealous that I have my very own pants. Thank you for making this the best Christmas ever! Sincerely, Greg

12

I'm having a seriously hard time getting used to the fact that summer is over and I have to get out of bed every morning to go to school.

11

I don't know what a guy needs to do to impress a girl these days.

10

You and your group of nerds fall into a pit and it's full of dynamite and you blow up. The End.

10

Greg starts a middle school and asks: Why is "bullies" such a big PROBLEM? And says people need to shave twice a day.

8

Holly is the fourth-prettiest girl in the class, but the top 3 all have boyfriends. So a lot of guys like me are doing everything they can to get in good with her.

7

It's not easy to writing thank-you notes for the stuff you didn't want in the first place.

6

But the thing I’m finding out is some people don’t really appreciate it when you’r trying to be helpful.

6

If there's one thing I learned from Rodrick, it's to set people's expectations real low so you end up surprising them by practically doing nothing at all.

4

About Jeff Kinney

Quotes 49 sayings
Profession Game designer
Birthday February 19, 1971

First of all, let me get this straight: This is a JOURNAL, not a diary.

I know what it says on the cover, but when Mom went out to buy this thing I SPECIFICALLY told her to get one that didn't say 'diary' on it.

3

When you're used to having electricity and then all of a sudden it's taken away, you're basically just one step from being a wild animal.

2

fish and visitors stink in 3 days.

2

Back in those days it was just me swimming around in the dark, doing back flips and taking naps whenever I want.

1

I think goodreads is the best place to look for books

1

Mom is always saying I'm a smart kid, but that I just don't apply myself.

1

I didn't really know what to expect from detention but when I waked into the room, the first thought I had was, I don't belong in here with these future criminals.

1

I got to give mom credit for how she handled it.

She didn't try to pry and get all the details. All she said was that I should try to do "the right thing" because it's our choices that make us who we are. I figure that's pretty decent advice. But I'm still not 100% sure what I'm going to do tomorrow.

1

I'll be famous one day, but for now I'm stuck in middle school with a bunch of morons." - Greg Heffley.

1

Youre gonna grow up and marry some ice cream! Haha!

0

hay he's a great writer and i like him a lot

0

The only reason I get out of bed at all on weekends is because eventually I can't stand the taste of my own breath any more.

0

The best person I know is Myself.

0

I think Diary of a Wimpy kidis sooooo good!!!!!!!

0

hot pink looks cute on only janet which is MEEEEEEE!!!

0

So I've started wearing sweatpants to bed because I really don't need Santa seeing me in my underwear.

0

I only work on my books at nights and at weekends. It is really just like a hobby.

0

My advice to authors would be to try to do something original rather than to try to anticipate what the market is looking for.

0

Chirag: Rowley, do you think I exist? Rowley: Nope! I can't even hear you or see you!

0

that if you don't read nobody does

0

I'm not really sure what makes a book a 'classic' to begin with, but I think it has to be at least fifty years old and some person or animal has to die at the end.

0

So if you want to find somebody to blame for the way i am, I guess you'd have to start with the public education system.

0

You can't expect everyone to have the same dedication as you.

0

See, when you're a little kid, nobody ever warns you that you've got an expiration date. One day you're hot stuff and the next day you're a dirt sandwich.

0

hey guys i would like you to try this book you will love it!

0

He got the crib, so for the first few months of my life I had to sleep in the top dresser drawer, which I'm pretty sure isn't even legal.

0

Well, the problem is, it's not easy for me to think of ways to improve myself, because I'm pretty much one of the best people I know.

0

hope your birthday is hot hot hot

0

I labored for eight years thinking that I was writing a book for adults that was a nostalgic look back on childhood. Then my publisher informed me I'd written a children's book.

0

I`m basically one of the best people I know.

0

Then one day, this kid named Darren Walsh touched the Cheese with his finger, and that's what started this thing called the Cheese Touch. It's basically like the Cooties. If you get the Cheese Touch, you're stuck with it until you pass it on to someone else. The only way to protect yourself from the Cheese Touch is to cross your fingers.

0

I don't know if this makes me a bad person or whatever, but it's hard for me to get interested in other people's vacations.

0

I've seen a lot of movies where a kid my age finds out he's got magical powers and then gets invited to go away to some special school. Well, if I've got an invitation coming, now would be the perfect time to get it

0

Monkeys can't talk, stupid!

0

I realised all the good ideas were taken before I was even born.

0

I think humor is key [to a successful middle-grade novel].

Kids like to read for entertainment, and the best way to entertain kids is to make them laugh.

0
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