What are the best Joan Rivers quotes? Read the most famous quotes by Joan Rivers. Top 10 Joan Rivers images and Top 10 Joan Rivers quotes. Joan Rivers quotations on funny, sex, birth, housework, taylor are those that make this comedian famous.

Go to table of contents

Best Joan Rivers quotes

Joan Rivers is famous American comedian with many wise quotes. Share the best Joan Rivers quotations of all times with your friends and family.

I hate housework! You make the beds, you do the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again.

I blame my mother for my poor sex life. All she told me was 'the man goes on top and the woman underneath.' For three years my husband and I slept in bunk beds.

If God wanted us to bend over he'd put diamonds on the floor.

  • funny

I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw that my bath toys were a toaster and a radio.

  • funny

My routines come out of total unhappiness. My audiences are my group therapy.

The first time I see a jogger smiling, I'll consider it.

There is not one female comic who was beautiful as a little girl.

  • comedy

I hate housework! You make the beds, you do the dishes -- and six months later you have to start all over again.

Before we make love my husband takes a pain killer.

Never floss with a stranger.

  • funny

It's been so long since I made love I can't even remember who gets tied up.

She doesn't understand the concept of Roman numerals. She thought we just fought in world war eleven.

Thank God we're living in a country where the sky's the limit, the stores are open late and you can shop in bed thanks to television.

I wish I had a twin, so I could know what I'd look like without plastic surgery.

My obstetrician was so dumb that when I gave birth he forgot to cut the cord. For a year that kid followed me everywhere. It was like having a dog on a leash.

Boy George is all England needs - another queen who can't dress.

I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.

Forty for you, sixty for me. And equal partners we will be.

Is Elizabeth Taylor fat? Her favorite food is seconds.

My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on.

A man can sleep around, no questions asked, but if a woman makes nineteen or twenty mistakes she's a tramp.

Don't tell your kids you had an easy birth or they won't respect you. For years I used to wake up my daughter and say, 'Melissa you ripped me to shreds. Now go back to sleep.'.

  • birth

Elizabeth Taylor has more chins than the Chinese telephone directory.

It's so long since I've had sex I've forgotten who ties up who.

I succeeded by saying what everyone else is thinking.

I told my mother-in-law that my house was her house, and she said, 'Get the hell off my property.'

Can we talk?

Joan Rivers quotes images

What are the best Joan Rivers images quotes? Read and bookmark finest quotes from Joan Rivers, embed as messages on beautiful images. Those images have funny quotes, sex quotes, birth quotes, housework quotes, taylor quotes.

That were top sayings and Joan Rivers picture quotes. Access more quotations by Joan Rivers with images on Pinterest.

Go to table of contents

About Joan Rivers

Where is Joan Rivers from? Joan Rivers is American who said awesome wise words. A influential and well recognized comedian all over the world. The following quotations and images represent the American nature embed in Joan Rivers's character.

What Joan Rivers was famous for? Joan Rivers is famous comedian with many good quotes. Well-known and respected in American society for wise sayings. Browse a lot of Joan Rivers books and reference books with quotes from Joan Rivers on Amazon.

Go to table of contents

Comedians similar to Joan Rivers

Which comedian has the best quotes? Top quotes from famous comedians like the following.

Go to table of contents

Joan Rivers favorite topics

Joan Rivers is famous for his passion for funny, sex, birth, housework, taylor. Check out great quotations and affirmations.


That were all of the 27 Joan Rivers quotes. Maybe some questions are in your head.

How to save Joan Rivers quotations? Save every quote you like to your Bookmarks for further reference. We rank the quotes by the number of bookmarks each one has. By bookmarking a quotation you increase its position in Quotlr rankings. We use top quotes as affirmations in our daily quote iPhone app.

How do you quote Joan Rivers? You are free to cite every quote from Joan Rivers found on Quotlr. Hit the share button to get sharing options for Facebook, Twitter or direct link for email.

When was Joan Rivers birthday? Joan Rivers was born on October 16.

Who is Joan Rivers? Some facts about Joan Rivers from biography. Joan Rivers (born Joan Sandra Molinsky) is an American comedian, actress, talk show host, businesswoman, and celebrity. She is known for her brash manner and loud, raspy voice with a heavy metropolitan New York accent. Rivers is the National Chairwoman of the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation and is a boar... Read more about Joan Rivers on Wikipedia or watch videos with quotes from Joan Rivers on YouTube.


Part 1

Part 2
Best Joan Rivers quotes
Top 10 quotes by Joan Rivers

Part 3
Joan Rivers quotes images

Part 5
Similar Comedians

Part 6
Favorite topics

Part 7

Loading ...