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What are the best Rita Rudner quotes? Rita Rudner quotes on marriage, funny, love, husband, children are the ones, which make this Comedian famous. Access the best quotes from Rita Rudner sorted by user likes.

Where is Rita Rudner from? Rita Rudner is American. A recognized Comedian. The following quotes and images represent the American peculiarities embed in Rita Rudner's character.

What Rita Rudner was famous for? Rita Rudner is famous Comedian with tons of good quotes. Wise sayings can be accessed and memorized. Rita Rudner is well-known and respected in American society.

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Best Rita Rudner quotes

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I was going to have cosmetic surgery until I noticed that the doctor's office was full of portraits by Picasso.

  • medical

I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.

  • Marriage

Some women hold up dresses that are so ugly and they always say the same thing: 'This looks much better on.' On what? On fire?

  • dresses

Men reach their sexual peak at eighteen. Women reach theirs at thirty-five. Do you get the feeling that God is playing a practical joke?

  • eighteen

I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.

  • pet

Neurotics build castles in the air, psychotics live in them. My mother cleans them.

  • air

The word 'aerobics' came about when the gym instructors got together and said: If we're going to charge $10 an hour, we can't call it Jumping up and down.

  • came

My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives.

  • marriage

To attract men, I wear a perfume called "New Car Interior."

  • funny

My husband gave me a necklace. It's fake. I requested fake. Maybe I'm paranoid, but in this day and age, I don't want something around my neck that's worth more than my head.

  • age

Someday I want to be rich. Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That's how rich I want to be.

  • humanity

When I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was Always.

  • funny

I love to sleep. Do you? Isn't it great? It really is the best of both worlds. You get to be alive and unconscious.

  • humor

Before I met my husband, I'd never fallen in love. I'd stepped in it a few times.

  • love

I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

  • marriage

Men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage - they've experienced pain and bought jewelry.

  • marriage

I was a vegetarian until I started leaning toward the sunlight.

  • funny

It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

  • annoy

My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to.

  • dating

Marriages don't last. When I meet a guy, the first question I ask myself is: is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?

  • ask

I don't plan to grow old gracefully. I plan to have face-lifts until my ears meet.

  • ears

My grandmother was a very tough woman. She buried three husbands and two of them were just napping.

  • buried

My mother buried three husbands - and two of them were only napping.

  • buried

I want to have children, but my friends scare me. One of my friends told me she was in labor for 36 hours. I don't even want to do anything that feels good for 36 hours.

  • parenting

In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk.

  • funny

We've begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet - so we bought a dog. Well, it's cheaper, and you get more feet.

  • pet

I love to shop after a bad relationship. I don't know. I buy a new outfit and it makes me feel better. It just does. Sometimes I see a really great outfit, I'll break up with someone on purpose.

  • moving

I got kicked out of ballet class because I pulled a groin muscle. It wasn't mine.

Someday I want to be rich. Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That's how rich I want to be.

  • humor

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When Rita Rudner was born? Rita Rudner was born on October 16.

Who is Rita Rudner? Rita Rudner biography. Rita Rudner is an American comedienne, writer and actress.Rudner and her producer husband, Martin Bergman, wrote the screenplay of the film Peter's Friends, in which she also acted. She is the author of the best-selling I Still Have It; I Just Can't Remember Where I Put It, Naked Beneath My Clothes, and the novels Tickled Pink and Turning The Tables. She has written several screenplays with her husband and a play called "Room 776" which premiered in Las Vegas in 2008.


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