68+ Carl Hiaasen Quotes On Florida, Sarcastic And Witty

Carl Hiaasen was an American journalist, columnist, and novelist. He wrote mystery and suspense novels set in Florida, often featuring environmental themes, and his work was often humorous. He was a long-time columnist for the Miami Herald, and he wrote for the paper for over 35 years. Following is our collection on famous quotes by Carl Hiaasen on florida, sarcastic, witty.

Top 10 Carl Hiaasen Quotes

1. Like Richard Price and the late, great Elmore Leonard, Matt Burgess is one of those cool, quick and funny writers who can turn a seemingly routine crime caper into something special.
2. The first rule of hurricane coverage is that every broadcast must begin with palm trees bending in the wind.
3. Sunset on the water ought to be a quiet and easy time, but I guess some people can't stand a little silence.
4. My driving record is not exemplary, but I have never had a speeding ticket over 100 m.p.h. I can say that unequivocally.
5. Disney's something to be a little alarmed about. It's not just a little theme park anymore. It's now an ethic and outlook and strategy that goes way beyond central Florida.
6. When you're given a newspaper column, you're not being paid to sit on a fence and scratch your chin and say 'On the one hand this' and 'On the other hand that.' You're getting paid for your opinion.
7. My humour has always come from anger, but I have to make sure I don't just get angry and jump on a soapbox.
8. If you write satire, the guilty pleasure these days is that there's just so much material about. On the other hand, if you have a family it can be depressing.
9. I’m waiting for the day when Rush Limbaugh’s pharmacist writes a book.
10. The one word that no politician will ever speak, is 'enough.' Enough.

Carl Hiaasen Short Quotes

• The evening news made her wonder if God was dead; the morning sun made her believe He wasn't.
• Unfortunately for novelists, real life is getting way too funny and far-fetched.
• My books are character-driven. They're not driven by the story.
• Hey. Sometimes to conclusions.
• I'd always wanted to write books ever since I was a kid.
• Humor can be an incredible, lacerating and effective weapon.
• One problem with age is that patience begins to ebb.
• Disney world is an armpit compared to Montana.
• and in the meantime don't jump to conclusions.
• I won't be making any friends in the corporate suites.

Carl Hiaasen Quotes About Florida

That dreadful alligator attack in Orlando would never have happened if Disney had put up real warning signs, like other Florida resorts do. But wild alligators don't fit the Disney image, so they were no proper warnings, and a child died for no reason. — Carl Hiaasen

Unfortunately, Florida is a mecca for the shyster element, and there are apparently no rules on the kinds of advertising a lawyer can do. — Carl Hiaasen

I was born and raised here [in Florida], so I still have tremendous affection for the state - especially the few wild places that haven't disappeared under concrete. What's left is still worth fighting for, and that's why I stay. — Carl Hiaasen

As frightening as this may sound, what you see in the books is the way I see the world. And so far I haven't seen anything, either in Florida or elsewhere, to dissuade me from it. — Carl Hiaasen

Carl Hiaasen Famous Quotes And Sayings

The central part of the state is more remote and less scenic, and there's a huge agricultural belt that stretches from the south of Lake Okeechobee to the border of Everglades National Park, where the restoration effort is being concentrated, .. Obviously the movement to save the Everglades runs up against agricultural concerns. — Carl Hiaasen

Good satire comes from anger. It comes from a sense of injustice, that there are wrongs in the world that need to be fixed. And what better place to get that well of venom and outrage boiling than a newsroom, because you're on the front lines. — Carl Hiaasen

Bangkok 8 is one of the most startling and provocative mysteries that I've read in years. The characters are marvelously unique, the setting is intoxicating and the plot unwinds in dark illusory strands, reminiscent of Gorky Park. Once I started, I didn't want to put it down. — Carl Hiaasen

No deliberative body is manifestly less qualified to make decisions about public education than our state Legislature. With a few shining exceptions, most of these clowns don't read, can't write, and clearly can't add. — Carl Hiaasen

Sometimes you're going to be faced with situations where the line isn't clear between what's right and what's wrong.Your heart will tell you to do one thing and your brain will tell you to do something different. In the end, all that's left is to look at both sides and go with your best judgment. — Carl Hiaasen

Y'see, I get so bored so easily. I like to start with a clean slate each time. Sure, I'll have characters drop in and out of books but the main cast of characters always changes. Maybe I'm wrong but I think if had the same joe detective guy or gal, I wouldn't write them as well; I wouldn't do as good a job. — Carl Hiaasen

The Thieves of Manhattan is a sly and cutting riff on the book-publishing world that is quite funny unless you happen to be an author, in which case the novel will make you consider a more sensible profession-like being a rodeo clown, for example, or a crab-fisherman in the Bering Sea. — Carl Hiaasen

I'm sort of fascinated by America's fascination with rednecks, the whole Duck Dynasty thing. Being a white guy from the South, I find it amazing that so many TV viewers are enchanted by beards, bad dentistry and moonshine accents. — Carl Hiaasen

Everybody's idea of a great book is different, of course. For me it's one that makes my jaw drop on every page, the writing is so original. — Carl Hiaasen

From my experience, politicians are much more uncomfortable being made fun of than they are being preached at and screeched at - you know, and the soapbox routine. They're much more uneasy knowing they're a target of ridicule. — Carl Hiaasen

Mrs. Bonneville never buckled her seat belt, even though it was required by state law; an ardent libertarian, she opposed government meddling in all matters of personal choice. — Carl Hiaasen

I still do a weekly opinion column for the Miami Herald, and it's like shooting fish in a barrel. Rotten fish. — Carl Hiaasen

Unfortunately, I don't get to read nearly as much as I want because I'm always working on my own stuff, either the novels or newspaper columns. — Carl Hiaasen

Mickey Cray had been out of work ever since a dead iguana fell from a palm tree and hit him on the head. — Carl Hiaasen

A bonus, being a writer, is that the true-life source material is fabulously bizarre. There's so much corruption, violence and free-floating depravity that the well never runs dry, whether you're a novelist, a journalist, or both. — Carl Hiaasen

Disney is just Disney. It's a company that's very good at what it does - controlling and promoting an image - until something happens that it can't control or cover up. — Carl Hiaasen

It's actually not very hard to re-set between the adult novels and the ones for younger readers. The narrative voices are very similar, the smartass attitude, the environmental battles. Kids love books that are irreverent and challenge authority, when authority is arbitrary, greedy or foolish. They also love it when you make fun of grownups, and I've spent my whole life as a writer doing that. — Carl Hiaasen

Ironically, I come from a family of lawyers - my dad, my grandfather, and now my oldest son. And some of my very best friends are lawyers, though they don't resemble the ones that appear in my novels. — Carl Hiaasen

They have a crystalline sense of right and wrong; it disappears when they walk out the door with their M.B.A. — Carl Hiaasen

I'd love to see a good script of one of my books, in these years of animations and comic book sequels, and had so many written over the years, but none quite clicked. — Carl Hiaasen

Garcia wondered why people with JESUS stickers on their bumper always drove twenty miles per hour under the speed limit. If God was my co-pilot, he thought, I'd be doing a hundred and twenty. — Carl Hiaasen

I never laugh or smile when I am writing. When I come home for lunch after writing all morning, my wife says I look like I just came home from a funeral. This is not bragging. This is an illness. — Carl Hiaasen

Actually it was the mark of the stupid, which is what you get for sitting under a tree during a thunderstorm. — Carl Hiaasen

The greatest sin for a writer is to be boring. — Carl Hiaasen

I've never before had the same main character appear in consecutive novels, but I liked Yancy and his attitude, and I was curious to see what would happen to him after Bad Monkey. And I liked the idea of him still trying to get his detective job back while he's stuck on roach patrol. — Carl Hiaasen

When I'm working on a novel of my own, I try to read mostly nonfiction, although sometimes I break down and peek at something else. — Carl Hiaasen

When I was writing Razor Girl, I thought it would be fun to have a redneck TV family that was really just a bunch of actors who had to be trained to be rednecks. That's not so farfetched, if you know how Hollywood works. — Carl Hiaasen

...Right now there's a pair of bad cops on their way out here to shoot me." "You don't know that." "Yeah, you're right," Stranahan said. "They're probably just collecting Toys for Tots. Now go. — Carl Hiaasen

I don't have an e-reader. One reason is that I like to dog-ear the page when I find a particularly good sentence or passage. — Carl Hiaasen

As a lobbyist he had long ago concluded there was no difference in how Democrats and Republicans conducted the business of government. The game stayed the same: It was always about favors and friends, and who controlled the dough. Party labels were merely a way to keep track of the teams; issues were mostly smoke and vaudeville. Nobody believed in anything except hanging on to power, whatever it took. — Carl Hiaasen

That's what people do when they find a special place that wild and full of life, they trample it to death. — Carl Hiaasen

I got overwhelmed by the magnitude of the celebrity culture in America. My background is as a news journalist, and newsrooms in the US are shrinking - investigation teams are being terminated or shrunk on newspapers all around the country. The one aspect that's expanded is coverage of celebrity culture. — Carl Hiaasen

All novels are about crime. You'd be hard pressed to find any novel that does not have an element of crime. I don't see myself as a crime novelist, but there are crimes in my books. That's the nature of storytelling, if you want to reflect the real world. — Carl Hiaasen

Every writer scrounges for inspiration in different places, and there's no shame in raiding the headlines. It's necessary, in fact, when attempting contemporary satire. Sharp-edged humor relies on topical reference points. — Carl Hiaasen

I love reality shows. The folks who dream up some of these concepts are either geniuses, or totally stoned. — Carl Hiaasen

Roy remembered the time he and his father had a talk about fighting. 'It's important to stand up for what's right,' Mr. Eberhardt had said, 'but sometimes there's a fine line between courage and stupidity. — Carl Hiaasen

There's this false notion that this is a regional phenomenon, when in fact every state in the union has hardcore rednecks. No exceptions. — Carl Hiaasen

I've always enjoyed making people laugh. But in order for me to be funny, I have to get ticked off about something. — Carl Hiaasen

Here's my rule: You always want to pay cash for your own books, because if they look at the name on the credit card and then they look at the name on the book jacket, then there's this look of such profound sympathy for you that you had to resort to this. It really is withering. — Carl Hiaasen

That's the thing about being a Labrador retriever - you were born for fun. Seldom was your loopy, freewheeling mind cluttered by contemplation, and never at all by somber worry; every day was a romp. What else could there possibly be to life? Eating was a thrill. Pissing was a treat. Shitting was a joy. And licking your own balls? Bliss. And everywhere you went were gullible humans who patted and hugged and fussed over you. — Carl Hiaasen

Obviously you have to make a profit to put out a newspaper. I'm not an idiot. But when the margins are in excess of 25 per cent you're talking about greed. — Carl Hiaasen

There's so much hate that we direct externally that we forget we have our own psychos. But that's the role of the satirist - you have to examine your own country and say, look! — Carl Hiaasen

Jimmy Lee Baylis was a wise man, and knew better than to talk back to the man who signed his paycheck. — Carl Hiaasen

The TV commercials, which are endless and fairly crass, gave birth to Brock, the bad-lawyer character in Razor Girl. In real life you can find even sleazier examples than him. — Carl Hiaasen

Life Lessons by Carl Hiaasen

1. Carl Hiaasen's stories often feature characters who take a stand against corruption and injustice, teaching us the importance of standing up for what is right.
2. His work also emphasizes the importance of protecting the environment and wildlife, showing us the consequences of ignoring the natural world.
3. Finally, his stories often feature characters who work together to overcome obstacles, teaching us the value of collaboration and teamwork.