When things are bad, it's the best time to reinvent yourself.

— George Lopez

The most charming George Lopez quotes that are glad to read

I didn't come from a background where I saw a lot of loving couples.

All my aunts and uncles were either split up or fighting all the time. The only healthy relationships I saw were on TV.

81

It's not even about black and white anymore, because so many people are from mixed backgrounds and mixed ethnicities, and it's just a great time to be able to pull all that together.

51

Marijuana brownies are amazing. Very simple to make, too. Just get some Duncan Hines brownie mix and cook the weed right in there. Drop it right in with the butter. I don't know who came up with this idea first, but it's sheer genius.

40

You know how Mexican restaurants always have "border" in the name: Border Grill, Border Cafe. You wouldn't do that to black people: Kunta's Kitchen or Shackles. They don't do it to white people. You don't see the Honkey Grill, the Cracker Barrel... oh, nevermind.

24

When I was 10 there wasnt trampolines and cartoon charaters, I never went to Chuck E Cheese! My mom said 'You wanna see a mouse pull the refrigerator Out!'

24

It's a great day in America when white people, black people and Latinos can all come together and pick on another minority.

15

I'm a big fan of reality shows. I thought the first one, Dukes of Hazzard, captured white people perfectly.

11

You know, you walk through this hotel, you're not going to see all white people;

you're not going to see all black people; you're going to see what the world looks like. I promised myself that if I ever got an opportunity where I would be able to make a difference and have a say, that I would want to deliver [that] message [of inclusivity].

10

if you make waffles, throw out the first one.

10

Look, I made a commitment to corn 17 years ago.

Sure, I'm a man. I like to go to a barbecue and see beans that I like: baked beans, red beans, black beans, big plump garbanzos. But in the end, I always come home to my sweet, sweet corn.

9

Tied one on last night. Not feeling great this morning. I was trying to sleep it off, unfortunately, it was on the casino floor.

7

We are now the proud owners of a white boy.

Now we have to shop in the caucasian isle and get sunscreen, mayonaise and mild salsa because the other ones really hawt!

6

About George Lopez

Quotes 92 sayings
Nationality American
Profession Comedian
Birthday October 16

As Latinos, you want [people] to come to America - not necessarily Latinos, but [anyone who wants] to come here for a better life. That's kind of how this country was founded and the history of this country.

5

Immigration is an issue of global significance in America.

And if you look at the terrorist alerts and attacks, Latinos [as a group] are not in the top five list [for] terror alerts.

5

I didn't want to be nobody, and that was the only way I could be somebody was to do stand-up.

4

When I look at the Gospel, I see how it is speaking to me at this time.

I see how to be to others and it helps.

4

Whoever is my relative, I will not be nice to them.

4

A Dodger uniform just doesn't look good with a cummerbund.

4

At the factory, I deal with ex-cons, substance abusers, and sexual harassers.

And I'm not just talking about my mom.

4

80% of the women who were asked if they fake orgasms said yes. Actually, they said Yes! Oh God, Yes!

4

If the worst thing that can happen is that nobody laughs, then I can deal with that, because the worst thing that can happen at the factory is that I could lose a limb or be crushed by a huge machine.

3

Sarah Palin is Latina. Pay-leen. She has an infant and a grandkid the same age. Latina!

3

D.C. is a great place. The music, jazz, has always been great here, the restaurants have always been fantastic here. And there's been a lot of changes in this city over the last 30 years, and all for the better.

3

If laughter is the best medicine, I promise to continue to make you laugh as my wife and I work together with the National Kidney Foundation to save lives.

3

I do everything one at a time, one day at a time.

It's the only way I can do all what I want. I stopped watching [most of] the news and entertainment shows. I think it's helped me to stay a little clearer. Do I need to know what Kevin Federline is doing? And I don't sleep a lot. I'm always connected to [my work].

3

I prefer my Mexican food to have a little bit of an animal that suffered a little bit. That's some of the best food.

3

Max: What's a period? George: It's a bullet we dodge, go get ready.

3

I think we all feel the same things most of the time, we just don't know how to put it into words. When I'm on stage, I say it. The truth makes people laugh.

2

Shows should just be able to be shows without hyphenating their lead characters.

2

I had a very difficult childhood. I was surrounded by people who had both parents, which made me feel different. Having a bit of a rougher existence early on, it made me appreciate the work ethic that my grandparents instilled in me.

1

I'm not afraid to take on somebody or say something that somebody will find offensive because unfortunately in comedy, you can't say anything really good without offending somebody.

1

I can't pay her back, but what I can do is make her as happy as she thought I would when we first got married.

1

I never realized I could love people as much as I do now.

1

You're never going to be a Yankee for a day, or you're never going to be a Laker, but with Pro-Ams, they allow you to feel like you're a professional golfer and play under their conditions.

1

No Angie, it's instant. Like when someone trips in the cafeteria and you're laughing so hard milk comes out of your nose, the guy next to you is laughing so hard he accidentally farts. BOOM! Friends for life!

1

I'd love to have Michael Jackson [in my show] because he's black and white.

So he would appeal to a universal demographic.

0

I used to be ashamed by the way that I grew up.

I tried to lie my way through better times, but when you think that honesty and truth is really your best weapon you embrace it and put it behind you. In the end, it drives you and motivates you to do good work. No one should be ashamed about where they come from as long as you desire to be a compassionate and decent person.

0

I've spent days in cinemas answering questions from the audience, in interviews, travelling abroad, and all they do is thank me nicely.

0

Y'know, if those pews reclined, and the priests gave the Raiders scores I'd go to church every Sunday.

0

I want to tell you about a woman I have been married to for ten years, my wife, Ann, who speaking truthfully, saved me from myself. Who saved me from destroying myself because of my background. Who saved me from wasting my life, drinking my life away, never fulfilling my dreams because of what I had come from, and truly believing and loving - truly the first person to ever truthfully, unconditionally love me.

0

We need to get better at voting and be a voice for the people who do not have one.

0

Making a movie about one group of people isolates the larger majority.

That's what I require of the projects that I'm involved with. I would not ever make a movie strictly for Latinos.

0

Laughter survives... it has to survive.

0

When you go to cable, there are no stations and no affiliates and they allow you to do your show.

0

I actually graze at several of the homes while Im playing.

There a lot of food going on. I drink and eat and use the restrooms in a lot of the houses. What better way to really get closer to the fans than to steal their soap from the restrooms as they allow you to enter their homes?

0

I look at movies, unfortunately, and I still see a lot of movies [lacking diversity].

0

We're Mexi-cans not Mexi-can'ts.

0

Finally there is someone that you can invest in that looks like you, speaks like you, relates to things you relate to, and make our culture okay to talk about.

0

The average late-night viewer is in their mid-50s and the average viewer of TBS is in their 30s and is largely African-American and Hispanic, already, before I even get there.

0
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