54+ Jane Wagner Quotes On Education, Friendship And Feminism

Jane Wagner was an American comedian, writer, director, and producer. She is best known for her long-time collaboration with Lily Tomlin, writing and producing the Tony Award-winning play The Search for Signs of Intelligent Life in the Universe. Wagner also wrote and directed the film version of the play, which was released in 1991. Following is our collection on famous quotes by Jane Wagner on education, leadership, friendship.

Top 10 Jane Wagner Quotes

1. Delusions of grandeur make me feel a lot better about myself.
2. Unless you are at a picnic, life is no picnic.
3. When we talk to God, we're praying. When God talks to us, we're schizophrenic.
4. The ability to delude yourself may be an important survival tool.
5. I have gained and lost the same 10 pounds so many times over and over again my cellulite must have deja vu!
6. It's my belief we developed language because of our deep inner need to complain.
7. Reality is the leading cause of stress amongst those in touch with it.
8. If olive oil comes from olives, then where does baby oil come from?
9. One thing I have no worry about is whether God exists. But it has occurred to me that God has Alzheimer's and has forgotten we exist.
10. Never underestimate the power of your actions. With one small gesture you can change a person's life. For better or worse. God puts us all in each other's lives to impact one another in some way.

Jane Wagner Short Quotes

• A sobering thought: what if, at this very moment, I am living up to my full potential?
• Keep talking, someday you'll say something intelligent.
• Nothing makes you realize you don't know what you want more than getting what you want.
• ... it's hard to be politically conscious and upwardly mobile at the same time.
• I bet the worst part about dying is the part where your whole life passes before you.
• I worry that no matter how cynical you become, it's never enough to keep up.
• Just think: your family are the people most likely to give you the flu.
• To me the term "sexual feedom" meant freedom from having sex.
• I personally think we developed language because of our deep inner need to complain.
• Infinity: Time on an ego trip.

Jane Wagner Famous Quotes And Sayings

I worry that our lives are like soap operas. We can go for months and not tune in to them, then six months later we look in and the same stuff is still going on. — Jane Wagner

To think, we have the garment industry instead of nature to thank for the zipper concept when it would have come in so handy for childbirth. — Jane Wagner

I made some studies, and reality is the leading cause of stress amongst those in touch with it. I can take it in small doses, but as a lifestyle, I found it too confining. It was just too needful; it expected me to be there for it all the time, and with all I have to do--I had to let something go. — Jane Wagner

I even worry about reflective flea collars. Oh, sure, drivers can see them glow in the dark, but so can the fleas. — Jane Wagner

I may not be great at geometry but I know one theorum. The longest distance between two points is you and your parents. — Jane Wagner

The human mind is kind of like a piñata. When it breaks open, there's a lot of surprises inside. Once you get the piñata perspective, you see that losing your mind can be a peak experience. — Jane Wagner

My space chums think reality was once a primitive method of crowd control that got out of hand. In my view, it’s absurdity dressed up in a three-piece business suit. — Jane Wagner

My mom says I have to be more positive, and I say life has to be more positive too or it's just not going to work. — Jane Wagner

I worry that humanity has been "advanced" to its present level of incompetency because evolution works on the Peter Principle. — Jane Wagner

I feel like my life is just passing me by like two ships in the night. And I have missed both boats. — Jane Wagner

If evolution was worth its salt, by now it should've evolved something better than survival of the fittest. I think a better idea would be survival of the wittiest. — Jane Wagner

Childhood comes at a time in your life when you are too young to understand what you are going through. And you're too young to understand that you are too young to understand. — Jane Wagner

You don't know what it's like! Hyperactive twins! When they turned three, my doctor prescribed Ritalin -- I wouldn't dream of giving a drug to my children, but it does help when I take it myself. — Jane Wagner

When I first came into this world, Elvis was already fat. — Jane Wagner

When you're dancing the mystical dance of the molecules, you're not the one who's leading. — Jane Wagner

All my life, I always wanted to be somebody. Now I see that I should have been more specific. — Jane Wagner

I am sick of being the victim of trends I reflect but don't even understand. — Jane Wagner

It's one thing to tolerate a boring marriage; a boring affair does not make sense. — Jane Wagner

Of all the things we've learned, we still haven't learned where did this desire to want to know come from? — Jane Wagner

It's not that I lack ambition. I am ambitious in the sense that I want to be more than I am now. But if I were truly ambitious, I think I'd already be more than I am now. — Jane Wagner

If you are a human being, you might as well face it. You are going to rub a lot of people the wrong way. — Jane Wagner

What is reality anyway! It's nothing but a collective hunch. — Jane Wagner

Frankly, goin' crazy was the best thing that ever happened to me. I don't say it's for everybody; some people couldn't cope. — Jane Wagner

The truth can be made up if you know how. — Jane Wagner

At the moment you are most in awe of all there is about life that you don't understand, you are closer to understanding it all than at any other time. — Jane Wagner

Mirrors can't talk. Luckily for you, they can't laugh either. — Jane Wagner

Ahhhhhhhh. There is nothing natural about natural childbirth. It is as close to a freak accident as anything I can think of. Why I picked a time like this to go off drugs? — Jane Wagner

The hardest part about being a kid is knowing you have got your whole life ahead of you. — Jane Wagner

Like what's the point being a health nut by day if you're a coke head at night. — Jane Wagner

Sex is such a personal thing - why do we insist on sharing it with another person? — Jane Wagner

Reality is just a collective hunch. — Jane Wagner

People don't need sex so much as they need to be listened to. — Jane Wagner

I worry that drugs have forced us to be more creative than we really are. — Jane Wagner

What you try to bury just ends up burying you. — Jane Wagner

Life Lessons by Jane Wagner

1. Jane Wagner teaches us to never give up on our dreams, no matter how hard the journey may be. She encourages us to take risks and to be brave in the face of adversity.
2. Wagner also emphasizes the importance of resilience, reminding us that failure is a part of life and that we must learn from our mistakes in order to grow and become better.
3. Finally, Wagner encourages us to be kind and generous to others, and to always strive to make the world a better place.