I love drugs, but I hate hangovers, and the hatred of the hangover wins by a landslide every time.— Margaret Cho
The most skyrocket Margaret Cho quotes that are glad to read
Over half the world menstruates at one time or another, but you'd never know it. Isn't that strange?
I am so beautiful, sometimes people weep when they see me.
And it has nothing to do with what I look like really, it is just that I gave myself the power to say that I am beautiful, and if I could do that, maybe there is hope for them too. And the great divide between the beautiful and the ugly will cease to be. Because we are all what we choose.
Ugly. Is irrelevant. It is an immeasurable insult to a woman, and then supposedly the worst crime you can commit as a woman. But ugly, as beautiful, is an illusion.
Sometimes when we are generous in small, barely detectable ways it can change someone else's life forever.
Privacy and security are those things you give up when you show the world what makes you extraordinary.
My boyfriend and I live together, which means we don't have sex - ever.
Now that the milk is free, we've both become lactose intolerant.
People drain me, even the closest of friends, and I find loneliness to be the best state in the union to live in.
If I'm talking to a guy who's straight and cute and single, I'm like 'are you a unicorn?'
Love is the big booming beat which covers up the noise of hate.
I’m not playing the race card. I’m playing the rice card.
I've spent so much time feeling ugly and being treated as ugly as a result.
But I changed my attitude and said, “I’m beautiful because I love everybody as much as I can. I’m beautiful because I have wonderful friends. And I’m beautiful because I say I am. I’ve earned it, and I’m gonna be it.
Just because you are blind, and unable to see my beauty doesn't mean it does not exist.
If we have the opportunity to be generous with our hearts, ourselves, we have no idea of the depth and breadth of love's reach.
Try to put your happiness before anyone else's, because you may never have done so in your entire life, if you really think about it, if you are really honest with yourself.
If you are a woman, if you are a person of color, if you are gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, if you are a person of size, if you are person of intelligence, if you are a person of integrity, then you are considered a minority in this world.
It's hard to find peace with your thighs, but when they chafe, try to be grateful for them. Your thighs let you run and get you where you want to go. I have not just thigh peace but thigh happiness, and it begins with thigh gratitude.
Humanity is a natural foil for inhumanity, and humanity is what will ultimately keep us going when all else has failed.
Let's not hate ourselves. We are all we have. ... I have been a longtime perpetrator of hate crimes against myself, and I am turning myself in. I have had enough.
Maybe I wanted to hear it so badly that my ears betrayed my mind in order to secure my heart.
You don't become a Republican until you lose all your baby teeth and fall down a lot and get the croup and then become angry and bitter.
I love heavily tattooed women. I imagine their lives are filled with sensuality and excess, madness and generosity, impulsive natures and fights. They look like they have endured much pain and sadness, yet have the ability to transcend all of it by documenting it on the body
I have learned to love that which is meant to harm me, so that I can stand in the way of those who are less strong. I can take the bullets for those who aren't able to.
Try to love someone who you want to hate, because they are just like you, somewhere inside, in a way you may never expect, in a way that resounds so deeply within you that you cannot believe it.
I was about 17 or 18 and there were a lot of clubs and dancing.
It was the beginning of rave culture and a lot of ecstasy. Because of all the drugs, there are certain songs that make me feel high.
You have to adhere to a certain morality, a certain level of decorum, or else you'll be punished and labeled.
The first thing you lose on a diet is brain mass.
I got back from Toronto, where they had a severe outbreak of SARS - you know, Severe Asian Racism Syndrome.
Homophobia is a tough one. In some places it's actually very OK to be homophobic. Comedy clubs in general are very unsafe spaces for LGBT, for women, for Asian people. So my goal in comedy has sort of been to make this a safe space for people who were like me.
The incognito of lower class employment is an effective cloak for any dagger one might wish to hide.
Silence is so often applauded and those who speak out are often called tasteless.
I'd like to put across the notion that bad taste is actually good for you.
You have to constantly recreate yourself in show business, which is a very fast thing, especially now with the tremendous speed of social media. There are so many personalities, so many different kinds of comedy that you can access, so it’s definitely important to stake your claim and say who you are.
White fragility! White people are so sensitive about race and racial conversations. I feel like I'm always walking on eggshells when I'm around white people.
I urge you all today, especially today during these times of chaos and war, to love yourself without reservations and to love each other without restraint. Unless you're into leather.
Some people are that - more than a parent, more than a role model, more than anything less than a religion.
Thankfully, beauty is easier to remove than apply, and a swipe of demaquillage in the right direction and you are you once again.
We women are constantly at war with our bodies, it is hard to find amnesty for ourselves.
George Bush isn't Hitler. He could be if he applied himself.
Most conservatives also believe in the death penalty, but not abortion, which proves they like to procrastinate.
A few words about ‘trannychasing.’ I am not a trannychaser. Ok, actually I am a trannychaser. No I am not. I am a trannycatcher! Just kidding!
I don't like people telling other people what to do.
Sex work for a lot of women is really important, especially in countries where women don't have a lot of power. Here we can have at least some form ... of making money.
One of my first jobs was on a lesbian cruise. I was the ship comedian for the Lesbian Love Boat.
You didn't hear Yello until later in the night in the bondage clubs.
Things would start getting crazy and that's when you'd hear Yello. It was bad.
I just think women are funnier than men.
I don't like catchphrases either. A current one would be, "Bye, Felicia." It's used so much that we don't even know the origin anymore.
As a child, I had a lot of older gay men taking care of me.
There's a trust there. I feel like little girls and old gay men together - there's a safety. They make a shield from all of the bad things they've experienced in the world. They make a home together. There are no songs about that. I don't know if you remember, but there was a show a long time ago called 'Love, Sidney.'
Im not a mom, but I think the word mother is about wisdom.
I think that reaching out to kids that feel really isolated is a life saving gesture that we have a responsibility as older queers to do.
The intention is to make people laugh, to make people happy.
It's unselfish, it's in the service of others, and as a comedian you are making yourself vulnerable in order to make others happy. And it has a transformative power.