I liked the koala, wallaby, and I chilled with a kangaroo a bit. There was a wombat that I quite enjoyed also— Todd Barry
The most scandalous Todd Barry quotes that are free to learn and impress others
I mean, I've had bartenders and waiters and waitresses make a comment about a joke of mine, like pointing out some sort of logic error or something that I've never even thought about, and they're right.
I do not like sports, unless you consider treating all humankind with love and respect a sport.
If you see me at a restaurant, blow me a kiss, wave, blow me another kiss, then walk five steps backward.
You come there and hang out and have a drink before the show and eat, so it's not that brutal. It's only $6.
I don't know any astronauts. There are a lot of people who say they want to be comedians.
I loved Australia. I was very successful there
There's people that are just in awe of what you do, and then there are people who just think it's garbage. And I think there are people who are just uncomfortable seeing someone have fun with their job
I wasn't as nervous as I thought I would be when I started
I don't feel I'm even worthy of a normal amount of value.
I'm particularly proud of my reluctance to share my dreams with anyone.
I guess there seems to be clubs opening up again, which is strange.
It was actually 3 years between albums. That seems like a long time to me
I don't really know much about pirates, or pirate culture. I'd be a contrarian pirate.
Buddha, much like everyone else has good and bad days.
Sometimes they're all collectively thinking, "Wow, we're kinda a shitty audience," and then if you point it out, it's kinda like, "Hey, I know what's going on. We know what's going on up here. Or what's not going on. And I'm letting you know that I know. And now we can fix this."
Comedy clubs are a bit more expensive.
That's the problem with some of these places. But the flipside of that is, if you do too many shows for free or $5, then people don't understand why you can't fly to Milwaukee and do a show for a $3 cover. That won't even pay for my flight.
There seems to be more comedy for comedy's sake
I will not be misquoted!
If I'm at a party and someone puts on a Blues Brothers tape, I tend to go nuts.
I want a room that I can definitely pack out.
I don't want to sweat that part, "Am I gonna have enough people?" So I usually pick like a hundred, a relatively small room. Also, I'm looser in a small room. I don't want to record an album in front of a thousand people, not that I could draw a thousand, but I just want a room that I can really work back to front. That's just a very comfortable place for me to be loose.
It's cool to go to a place that has posters up and it's one night only. It feels more special.
I mean, I guess I started during the comedy boom, so it was literally like, on Sunday you could decide you wanted to be a comic, and on Monday, you could be on stage
Only lately, like within the last few years, have I had people actually do an impression of me to me, which weirds me out to think of what they have picked up on, without ever realizing it myself
I like pens. My writing is so amazing there's never a need to erase
I must have done everything I had. You go through years where you go through everything you've ever written
I am the the type to have a personal experience with a celebrity, but I'm too classy to bring that up.
I did end up doing substitute teaching, but there's not a lot of teaching involved in that.
My sister sometimes does a Todd Barry tribute act.
I have a podiatrist appointment at 2.
I'd rather send out a mass email then hang posters all over the place
I used to write things out beforehand. But sometimes it backfires
I was probably just trying to be Dennis Miller, but without the vocabulary to actually be Dennis Miller. I guess I was just less interesting than I am now, if I am interesting at all
I don't ban bloggers from my shows. I have a separate line: VIP seating for bloggers.
People in New York love having roof parties.
I like Cilantro, but you don't have to.
I mean, I've always had scattered interests, but I never went on stage to get an agent or anything like that
And the goal really is to make the audience laugh, to bring them some joy.
I haven't done a lot in London. I think comedy over there is how it was over here years ago. There's tons of it, and they're better paid.
I want to release another CD this year, finish writing a screenplay, and make another short film