A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.— Albert Einstein
Informative Bartender quotations
The greatest accomplishment of a bartender lies in his ability to exactly suit his customer. . .
I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender.
I think everyone should go to college and get a degree and then spend six months as a bartender and six months as a cabdriver. Then they would really be educated.
There's a bluebird in my heart that wants to get out but I pour whiskey on him and inhale cigarette smoke and the whores and the bartenders and the grocery clerks never know that he's in there.
There are few professions whose primary objective is to advance the cause of humanity rather than simply to make money or accrue power. Among this limited group of humanitarians I would number teachers, nurses, bookstore owners, and bartenders.
A good writer is not, per se, a good book critic.
No more so than a good drunk is automatically a good bartender.
A theory that you can't explain to a bartender is probably no damn good.
They made it to the middle class, my dad working as a bartender and my mother as a cashier and a maid. I didn't inherit any money from them. But I inherited something far better - the real opportunity to accomplish my dreams.
You know you have a drinking problem when the bartender knows your name -- and you've never been to that bar before.
Lady bartenders live a tougher life than anybody knows.
Guy goes into a bar with a duck under his arm.
Bartender says, "Where'd you get the pig?" Guy says, "This is a duck." Bartender says, "I was talking to the duck."
Yeah, I know I'm ugly... I said to a bartender, 'Make me a zombie.' He said 'God beat me to it.'
I could finally quit my job as a bartender and stop dreaming that I might be Superman and know that I was. Then I started thinking about how cool it was.
Set up another case bartender! The best thing for a case of nerves is a case of Scotch.
A conservative, a liberal, and a moderate walk into a bar. The bartender says, 'Hi, Mitt.'
I was a bartender in New York and I overheard this girl saying she made $3000 doing a commercial. A kid at work told me, 'Hey, I know this director and he'd really like you!'. So I walked into this guy's office and was like 'I was thinking maybe I could make $3000' and he hired me for commercials, short films, like 15 jobs in a row.
.. the guitar is just a wonderful instrument. It's everything: a bartender, a psychiatrist, a housewife. It's everything, but it's elusive
I toured Ontario in the winter of '48, in a touring company of The Drunkard, in which I played the bartender.
A duck walks into a bar and the bartender asks, what'll it be? The duck doesn't answer because it's a duck.
If I go Before I'm old Oh, brother of mine Please don't forget me if I go Bartender, please Fill my glass for me With the wine you gave Jesus that set him free After three days in the ground.
Now I need to take a piece of wood and make it sound like the railroad track, but I also had to make it beautiful and lovable so that a person playing it would think of it in terms of his mistress, a bartender, his wife, a good psychiatrist - whatever.
There was a sad fellow over on a bar stool talking to the bartender, who was polishing a glass and listening with that plastic smile people wear when they are trying not to scream.
I remember back in Detroit, I used to go to the Apex Bar every night after I got off work. The bartender there used to call me Boom Boom. I don't know why, but he did.
This guitar is such a pal. It's a psychiatrist. It's a doggone bartender. It's a housewife. This guy is everything. Whenever I find that I've got a problem, I'll go pick my guitar up and play. It's the greatest pal in the whole world.
Both of my parents were born into poor families on the island of Cuba.
They came to America because it was the only place where people like them could have a chance.My father was a bartender. And the journey from the back of that bar to the [election 2016], to me, that is the essence of the American dream.
Hey bartender, hey man, look here. Give us one more, two more, three more glasses of beer.
Will there be any bartenders up there in Heaven, will the pubs never close?
I mean, I've had bartenders and waiters and waitresses make a comment about a joke of mine, like pointing out some sort of logic error or something that I've never even thought about, and they're right.
I was frustrated because I couldn't get going, as I was trying to figure out how to make films. I had various jobs, I taught a SAT class, I was a bartender, I had a day job at an office and was making short films.
I believe that in your heart you already know something is profoundly wrong.
When bartenders are responsible for drunk drivers' acts, and gunmakers are responsible for criminals' acts, and nobody is responsible for O. J. Simpson's acts, something is wrong.
He had a habit of remarking to bartenders that he didn't see any sense in mixing whiskey with water since the whiskey was already wet.
Usability is not everything. If usability engineers designed a nightclub, it would be clean, quiet, brightly lit, with lots of places to sit down, plenty of bartenders, menus written in 18-point sans-serif, and easy-to-find bathrooms. But nobody would be there. They would all be down the street at Coyote Ugly pouring beer on each other.
...went to a bar for a few drinks. The bartender asked what I wanted. "Surprise me", I said. So he showed me a naked picture of my wife.
I want to be a superhero. Maybe I'll be a bartending superhero who shakes martinis to save the world.