69 Constipation Quotes

Following is our list of constipation quotations and slogans full of insightful wisdom and perspective about .

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Famous Constipation Quotes

You are what you don't poop. — Steven Gundry

you aren't what you eat - you are what you don't poop. — Wavy Gravy

You have a cough? Go home tonight, eat a whole box of Ex-Lax - tomorrow you'll be afraid to cough. — Pearl Williams

There isa stigma associated with incontinence, so many people never mention it to their doctors or seek treatment. In reality, fecal incontinence is a very common and often very treatable condition. — Brad Davis

People with irritable bowel disease — Mark Burhenne

Stress can send your digestive system into overdrive. — Gary Brecka

Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night. — Dave Barry

It is chronic water shortage in the body that causes most diseases of the human body. — Masaru Emoto

Only thru a mucus-free diet can we expect to eliminate the accumulation of waste and obstructions deposited in the body tissues during a lifetime of wrong eating. — Sayings

All diseases begin in the gut. — Hippocrates

You should never eat when you're on the toilet. "But I'm lactose-intolerant, and I always wanted to enjoy a bowl of Puffins with whole milk!" That's more of an almond milk cereal, but live your dream. — Daniel Tosh

You know an odd feeling? Sitting on the toilet eating a chocolate candy bar. — George Carlin

Satiety comes of riches and contumaciousness of satiety. — Solon

We have to tackle the triple malady which holds our villages fast in its grip; want of corporate sanitation, deficient diet and inertia. — Mahatma Gandhi

Eat the rainbow and then poop the rainbow! Okay, not really. Brown is the preferred color, and when we deviate from it we should know why. — Will Bulsiewicz

Short Constipation Quotes

  • Some people have constipation of the brain but their mouth has the runs. — Dane Cook
  • I wish that being famous helped prevent me from being constipated. — Marvin Gaye
  • Austerity causes constipation; excess, diarrhea. — Mason Cooley
  • Oh, hell, I can’t go on a spiritual journey—I'm constipated. — Molly Ivins
  • Learned researches lead to headaches, constipation, and befuddled quarreling. — Mason Cooley
  • Raids are slightly constipating. — Elizabeth Bowen
  • A negative look from someone else may mean nothing more than they're constipated! — Daniel Amen
  • America is a constipated nation.... If you pass small stools, you have to have large hospitals. — Denis Parsons Burkitt

Bowel Movements Quotes

I know I am weird, but just keeping it real. A large bowel movement in the morning is a great way to start the day. — Will Bulsiewicz

Sex is interesting, but it's not totally important. I mean it's not even as important (physically) as excretion. A man can go seventy years without a piece of ass, but he can die in a week without a bowel movement. — Charles Bukowski

There's three things in this world that you need: Respect for all kinds of life, a nice bowel movement on a regular basis, and a navy blazer. — Robin Williams

First coffee, then a bowel movement. Then the Muse joins me. — Gore Vidal

Some women marry houses. It's another kind of skin; it has a heart, a mouth, a liver and bowel movements. — Anne Sexton

I respect so much the work that so many women do, but that's just not what I do. I have a job where I advertise yogurt that makes you poop, and people love it and tell me about their bowel movements, every day. — Jamie Lee Curtis

Why be uptight about bowel movements and sex? We all have sex. We all have penises -- except for those of us who have vaginas. — Howard Stern

The recipe for great art has always been misery and a good bowel movement. — Don Roff

I think that the government has an obligation to monitor communications that could reveal a plot to murder millions of Americans. Monitoring bowel movements? I'll leave that to some of the gay bloggers, that's much more their style. — Jeff Gannon

When people start talking about their bowel movements, they are inexorable as the processes of which they speak. — William S. Burroughs

People Writing About Constipation

Name Quotes Likes
Read quotes by Mason Cooley

Mason Cooley
quotes on culture, justice and freedom

1227 2367
Read quotes by Steven Gundry

Steven Gundry
quotes on food, money and protein

106 1
Read quotes by Wavy Gravy

Wavy Gravy
quotes on education, food and music

20 110
Read quotes by Mark Burhenne

Mark Burhenne
quotes on leadership, love and education

46 1
Read quotes by Gary Brecka

Gary Brecka
quotes on health, biohack and breathwork

100 1
Read quotes by Dave Barry

Dave Barry
quotes on aging, marriage and life

766 5624

More Constipation Quotes

And if doctor says that you don't have IBS with constipation, you might want to get a second opinion, because I had doctors that were telling me... of course, a lot of this has to do with science - progressing. — Cybill Shepherd

Why are you worrying about YOU-KNOW-WHO, when you should be worrying about YOU-NO-POO? The constipation sensation that's gripping the nation! — J. K. Rowling

It's a spiritual malnutrition tied to a moral constipation, where people have a sense of what's right and what's good. It's just stuck, and they can't get it out because there's too much greed. There's too much obsession with reputation and addiction to narrow conceptions of success. — Cornel West

LSD burst over the dreary domain of the constipated bourgeoisie like the angelic herald of a new psychedelic millennium. We have never been the same since, nor will we ever be, for LSD demonstrated, even to skeptics, that the mansions of heaven and gardens of paradise lie within each and all of us. — Terence McKenna

Another intruder that plagues our good health is sleeplessness. Insomnia is much like constipation in that stress or nervous tension can bring it on or aggravate it until there's almost no coping with it. That's why you find sleeping pills in so many medicine cabinets next to the laxatives. — Jack LaLanne

All Englishmen talk as if they've got a bushel of plums stuck in their throats, and then after swallowing them get constipated from the pips. — W. C. Fields

Constipation was one of the things she hated most in the world, on par with despicable men who commit domestic violence and narrow-minded religious fundamentalists. — Haruki Murakami

When people are collecting gold they aren't doing business. ... Gold is constipation: even bankruptcy is more fluid. Gold isn't wealth: positions in markets are wealth. — Christina Stead

You could give us a hand instead of staring into space like a constipated camel," Terry Tarsal rudley broke into Marcia's spinning thoughts. — Angie Sage

Like anything else that happens on its own, the act of writing is beyond currency. Money is great stuff to have, but when it comes to the act of creation, the best thing is not to think of money too much. It constipates the whole process. — Stephen King

They have dog food for constipated dogs. If your dog is constipated, why screw up a good thing? Stay indoors and let 'em bloat! — David Letterman

So who's perfect? ... Washington had false teeth. Franklin was nearsighted. Mussolini had syphilis. Unpleasant things have been said about Walt Whitman and Oscar Wilde. Tchaikovsky had his problems, too. And Lincoln was constipated. — John O'Hara

I could not conceive that [fans] actually wanted me to sign something. It took a long time for me to figure out (a) just say 'Thank you' and sign the thing, and (b) smile in the picture, because if you try to just half-smile you're going to look constipated. — Joss Whedon

A golf ball is white, dimpled like a bishop's knees, and is the size of small mandarin oranges or those huge pills which vets blow down the throats of constipated cart-horses. — Frank Muir

At least 50% of all children in the United States are allergic to cow's milk, many undiagnosed. Dairy products are the leading cause of food allergy, often revealed by diarrhea, constipation, and fatigue. Many cases of asthma and sinus infections are reported to be relieved and even eliminated by cutting out dairy. — Frank Oski

Every reader should ask himself periodically “Toward what end, toward what end?”—but do not ask it too often lest you pass up the fun of programming for the constipation of bittersweet philosophy. — Alan Perlis

It's the business of movies, it's the fights that go along with the level of budget, and more than anything, it's the creative constipation of having to live with one idea for two or three years. It's just not that fun. — Matt Stone

I've posed nude for a photographer in the manner of Rodin's Thinker, but I merely looked constipated. — George Bernard Shaw

Now constipation was quite a different matter...It would be dreadful for the whole world to know about troubles of that nature. She felt terribly sorry for people who suffered from constipation, and she knew that there were many who did. There were probably enough of them for a political party - which a chance of government. Perhaps - but what would such a party do if it was in power? Nothing, she imagined. It would try to pass legislation, but would fail. (p, 195) — Alexander McCall Smith

By the time it's considered socially acceptable to start screwing, most of us are sexually constipated, and this is often an incurable condition. I think young people should be able to have their first sexual love affair whenever they feel like it. In the case of most girls, this would be around 13 or 14; with most boys, around 15 or 16. — Madalyn Murray O'Hair

TV feels quite constipated, and the thing I find particularly difficult is the branding of the channels where it's not 'Is it a good script?' but 'Is it a BBC2 script?' — Sally Phillips

Acceptable food rots while we are chased from bins behind restaurants, chased from sleeping on the street, chased from relieving ourselves unless we pay for food or gas, until finally we are so hungry, sleepless, smelly, constipated and beaten-down that we simply die of lack of will to live. — Jane Siberry

People think in narrow, constrained, constipated ways about the world. They can't imagine that the world could be different. Not like the dreamers who actually see a different world, a better world. — Peter Kuznick

Vegetarians, dropping meat, tend to fill up with too much starch. This leaves them no more healthy than meat-eaters, with constipation, indigestion, colds, catarrhs, coughs and chest complaints to plague them. Eating sparingly of breads, cakes, crackers, cookies, macaroni, spaghetti, anything largely starch, is a far step on the road to good health. — Helen and Scott Nearing

If Mother had to be told not to shove the entire brick of Ivory up Junior's hindquarters, constipation is the least of his problems. — James Lileks

If you did not have any personality, you would have a tremendous presence. The more rigid your personality, the more constipated your whole being. — Jaggi Vasudev

The film project has been “twenty years of constipation,” and he likens the Hollywood process to “trying to grill a steak by having a succession of people coming into the room and breathing on it.” — Douglas Adams

I used to try and concentrate the poem so much that there wasn't a word that wasn't essential. This leads to becoming boring and constipated. — W. H. Auden

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