quote by Norm MacDonald

OJ Simpson was in a different kind of courtroom this week attempting to regain custody of his two children. In order to prove to the court how much he loves his kids, OJ pointed out quote 'Hey, they're still alive, aren't they?'

— Norm MacDonald

Most Powerful Courtrooms quotations

The world is not a courtroom There is no judge no jury no plaintiff.

This is a caravan filled with eccentric beings telling wondrous stories about God.

While teaching, I also worked undercover in the lower courts by saying I was a young law teacher wanting experience in criminal law. The judges were happy to assist me but what I learned was how corrupt the lower courts were. Judges were accepting money right in the courtroom.

America’s drug problem is not going to be solved in courtrooms or legislative hearing rooms by judges and politicians. It will be solved in living rooms and dining rooms and across kitchen tables – by parents and families.

Justice has nothing to do with what goes on in a courtroom; Justice is what comes out of a courtroom

People don't show up here (at the courtroom) because they believe evolution is bad science. They show up because they believe that if they accept evolution, then they are abandoning their religious beliefs. They see it as an either/or proposition: Either evolution happened, or God loves you.

Money will determine whether the accused goes to prison or walks out of the courtroom a free man.

The Bible is full of dreadful things.

There's a Psalm that says "Happy will you be when you take your enemy's children and dash their heads against the stones." Don't read that to me on Sunday morning and say "This is the word of the Lord." It's like that crazy man down in Alabama who wanted to put the Ten Commandments in his courtroom.

Courtroom for Ted Bundy's trial is packed with women, trying to meet him and give him love letters and wedding-fucking-proposals...and the first thought that enters my mind is, "And I'm not getting laid." What am I doing wrong?

We are more casual about qualifying the people we allow to act as advocates in the courtroom than we are about licensing electricians.

We are more casual about qualifying the people we allow to act as advocates in the courtroom than we are about licensing electricians.

The notion that most people want black-robed judges, well-dressed lawyers and fine-paneled courtrooms as the setting to resolve their disputes is not correct. People with problems, like people with pains, want relief, and they want it as quickly and inexpensively as possible.

People are tried and convicted in the newspapers and on television before they ever see a courtroom.

Well, one thing, you got to stand in a courtroom and listen to a judge sentencing you to 25 years in prison before you realize that freedom of expression can no longer be taken for granted.

The courtroom is a quiet place, Judge Roberts, where you park your political ideology, and you call the balls and you call the strikes.

Somewhere "out there," beyond the walls of the courthouse, run currents and tides of public opinion which lap at the courtroom door.

The one place where a man ought to get a square deal is in a courtroom, be he any color of the rainbow, but people have a way of carrying their resentments right into a jury box.

You can't handle the truth!

The world is like a courtroom, with God as our judge.

We are called upon to fulfill our covenant with God, who asked, "Am I not your Lord?" To which we answered, "Yea." And since here on earth we are on trial, our every word and action form the witness to and the evidence of that agreement.

As for being responsible or irresponsible, we don't recognize those notions, they're for policemen and courtroom psychiatrists.

The Bible says, Judge not lest ye be judged. Our lives are supposed to be hospitals, not courtrooms.

Creationists who want religious ideas taught as scientific fact in public schools continue to adapt to courtroom defeats by hiding their true aims under ever changing guises.

Life would be a lot easier if conversations were rewindable and erasable, like videos. Or if you could instruct people to disregard what you just said, like in a courtroom.

I have spent my entire life working to make my community and my country better.

And I can't wait to get inside the courtroom to tell my story.

Ordinarily, a person leaving a courtroom with a conviction behind him would wear a somber face. But I left with a smile. I knew that I was a convicted criminal, but I was proud of my crime.

The penalty for laughing in a courtroom is six months in jail;

if it were not for this penalty, the jury would never hear the evidence.

The judge turned his back towards me, sitting back on his judge's chair, while I was in the witness stand being questioned. The whole courtroom was full of these anarchists, leftists, communists and Jewish lobbyists.

If Mike Tyson is in your courtroom and you don't send him to jail, it's an injustice. Everyone knows he's a bad guy. So if he is in your courtroom, he should go to jail.

Honesty is a virtue, but not the only one.

If you're in a courtroom you need the whole truth and nothing but the truth; in the living room, sometimes you need anything but. Often.

The world is a courtroom, but your life is the judge.

Let's deal with reality. The reality is that we will be reading Miranda rights to the corpse of Osama bin Laden. He will never appear in an American courtroom.

There's a lot more to competence than a law degree and a modicum of courtroom skill.

It's very important not to lose your temper in a courtroom, or in anything else you're doing.

I enjoyed the courtroom as just another stage but not so amusing as Broadway.

This is the time that I really miss being in my courtroom because I believe that that's the last place in this country where there's supposed to be fairness.