55 Toilet Quotes to Help You Appreciate Life's Little Moments
Who would have thought that the humble toilet could be a source of inspiration and wisdom? Yet, surprisingly, toilet quotes can offer us nuggets of truth and humor that can brighten our day and change our perspective. It's easy to overlook, but this everyday object we often take for granted can provide valuable insights. It's all about finding joy and wisdom in the ordinary and mundane. Can we not agree that the best lessons are often hidden in the most unexpected places?
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Short Toilet Quotes
- I smoke so much weed that you wouldn't believe and I get more ass then a toilet seat. — Nate Dogg
- Montague's just been found in a toilet, Sir. — J. K. Rowling
- If you can see the handwriting on the wall... you're on the toilet. — Redd Foxx
- My name is only an anagram of toilets. — T. S. Eliot
- I sit face forward on a toilet with both my legs out in front of me like God intended. — Theo Von
- We'll send you a Hogwarts toilet seat! — J. K. Rowling
- Greeks only agree with each other about going to the toilet — Greek Proverbs
- The wide screen reminds me of a roll of toilet paper. — Yasujiro Ozu
- Maybe humans are just the pet alligators that God flushed down the toilet. — Chuck Palahniuk
- You know an odd feeling? Sitting on the toilet eating a chocolate candy bar. — George Carlin
People Writing About Toilet
| Name | Quotes | Likes |
|---|---|---|
 J. K. Rowling |
1340 | 12167 |
 Redd Foxx |
20 | 654 |
 T. S. Eliot |
576 | 6429 |
 Theo Von |
79 | 1 |
 Greek Proverbs |
176 | 1 |
 Chuck Palahniuk |
882 | 3576 |
More Toilet Quotes
I like to play pranks on my girlfriend, you know, keep things fresh for me, make me laugh, you know? She hates it. But like, the other night, I put Saran wrap over the toilet seat, you know, which doesn't sound that original, but she's bulimic. — Anthony Jeselnik
The main part of the house is a deep red and I have butterscotch carpet. And I have a bathroom with leopard skin floor, wallpaper and toilet. — Macy Gray
Eating, bathing, going to the toilet, talking, thinking, and many other activities related to the body are all work. How is it that the performance of one particular act is alone (considered) work? To be still is to be always engaged in work. To be silent is to be always talking. — Ramana Maharshi
Now, you two – this year, you behave yourselves. If I get one more owl telling me you've – you've blown up a toilet or –" "Blown up a toilet? We've never blown up a toilet." "Great idea though, thanks, Mum. — J. K. Rowling
It is difficult to produce a television documentary that is both incisive and probing when every twelve minutes one is interrupted by twelve dancing rabbits singing about toilet paper. — Rod Serling
Right now, more folks have access to a cell phone than a toilet. Ancient Romans had better quality than half of the people alive today. I am constantly reminded of the speed at which we must move to reverse some of our grand challenges. — Peter Diamandis
Leaders win through logistics. Vision, sure. Strategy, yes. But when you go to war, you need to have both toilet paper and bullets at the right place at the right time. In other words, you must win through superior logistics. — Tom Peters
Let me speak frankly: separate but equal is a fraud. It is the language that tried to push Rosa Parks to the back of the bus. It is the motif that determined that black and white people could not possibly drink from the same water fountain, eat at the same table or use the same toilets. — David Lammy
It's expensive to keep communism alive today. I've already got a huge foreign debt staring me in the face, and I can't reduce it by exporting tomatoes or toilet paper. We should be making dollars any way we can. And we should be exporting arms any way and every way, openly and secretly, legally or by smuggling, I don't care how. — Nicolae Ceausescu
I refuse to go into a fast-food outlet - to use the toilet even - in case anyone got the wrong idea and thought I was sneaking in a quick burger. — Jonny Wilkinson
No innovation in the past 200 years has done more to save lives and improve health than the sanitation revolution triggered by invention of the toilet. But it did not go far enough. It only reached one-third of the world. — Sylvia Mathews Burwell
I'm cleaning toilets for $30 a day, because I needed that $30, and people are pointing at me, saying, Look at the big movie star. Look where he is now. I just said, I'm where God put me. — Willie Aames
Schools across India do not have teachers, libraries, playing grounds and even toilets. I do not want to see empty classrooms, empty libraries. I do not want to see cattle grazing on fields meant to be cricket or football grounds. — Sachin Tendulkar
What if I told you insane was working fifty hours a week in some office for fifty years at the end of which they tell you to p*ss off; ending up in some retirement village hoping to die before suffering the indignity of trying to make it to the toilet on time? Wouldn't you consider that to be insane? — Steve Buscemi
Tell me why it is that a toddler will gag over a perfectly wonderful breakfast of ham, eggs, biscuits, juice, and jelly. But then he will enthusiastically drink the dog's water and play in the toilet. Truly, he is his mother's greatest challenge...; and her most inexpressible joy. — James Dobson
And it makes you wonder—how can a people incapable of selecting their own lightbulbs and toilets possess enough competence to vote for their own rulers and fill out complicated tax returns? — Mark Levin
Cleanliness and sanitation were closest to Gandhiji's heart. We will launch a 'Clean India' campaign and by Gandhiji's 150th birth anniversary, all schools in the country should have toilets with separate toilets for girls. — Narendra Modi
Right now I'm scoring goals and I'm the king of the world. And a couple weeks ago I was almost in the toilet. So maybe you just forget to flush me. — Alexander Ovechkin
I've learned that life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes. — Andy Rooney
Dead girl walking” the boys say in the halls. “Tell us your secrets” the girls whisper, one toilet to another. "I am that girl. I am the spaces between my thighs, daylight shinning through. I am the bones they want, wired on a porcelain frame. — Laurie Halse Anderson
Problems are like toilet paper. You pull on one and ten more come. — Woody Allen
You should never eat when you're on the toilet. "But I'm lactose-intolerant, and I always wanted to enjoy a bowl of Puffins with whole milk!" That's more of an almond milk cereal, but live your dream. — Daniel Tosh
Why are there no windows in the toilets on aeroplanes? To protect you from the most dedicated perverts on the planet, hanging off the wing to get a peep? — Sayings
One of the most awkward things that can happen in a pub is when your pint-to-toilet cycle gets synchronised with a complete stranger. — Peter Kay
One of the most jolting days of adulthood comes the first time you run out of toilet paper. Toilet paper, up until this point, always just existed. And now it's a finite resource, constantly in danger of extinction, that must be carefully tracked and monitored, like pandas? — Kelly Williams Brown
Don't, Ginny, we'll send you loads of owls. We'll send you a Hogwarts toilet seat. George! Only joking, Mum. — J. K. Rowling
In Marseilles they make half the toilet soap we consume in America, but the Marseillaise only have a vague theoretical idea of its use, which they have obtained from books of travel. — Mark Twain
Clean water is only as far away as the nearest tap, and there are taps everywhere. There's a faucet everywhere. But the reality is, the water in our toilets is cleaner than the water that most people are drinking. — Matt Damon
Australia is an outdoor country. People only go inside to use the toilet. And that's only a recent development. — Barry Humphries
Bad writing is not easier than good writing. It's just as hard to make a toilet seat as it is a castle window. Only the view is different. — Ben Hecht
What was wrong with train toilet doors that just locked, instead of this multiple choice system? If anything goes wrong, you'll be sitting there while the whole toilet wall slowly slides away, unveiling you like a prize on a quiz show. For 500 points, a shitting woman! — Frankie Boyle
People forget what a big issue toilet training is for adults and kids, and it is not fun, especially when you're in a car on the interstate. — Robert Munsch
If you want to avoid heated arguments, never discuss religion, politics, or whether the toilet paper roll should go over or under. — Al Yankovic
I sat on a toilet watching the water run thinking what an odd thing tourism is. You fly off to a strange land, eagerly abandoning all the comforts of home and then expend vast quantities of time and money in a largely futile effort to recapture the comforts you wouldn’t have lost if you hadn’t left home in the first place. — Bill Bryson
I believe your friends Misters Fred and George Weasley were responsible for trying to send you a toilet seat. No doubt they thought it would amuse you. — J. K. Rowling
In Conclusion
So why should you read toilet quotes? They offer a fresh perspective, a chance to reflect, and even a good laugh. These quotes serve as a reminder that even in the simplest, most routine aspects of our life, there is room for thought, for growth, and for enlightenment. The benefits of toilet quotes are manifold. They encourage us to appreciate the little things, find humor in the everyday, and extract wisdom from the unlikely. They remind us that inspiration is everywhere, even in a toilet. So why not give them a chance? After all, who knows what insights you might flush out!
Which quotation resonated with you best? Did you enjoy our collection of toilet quotes? Or may be you have a slogan about toilet to suggest. Let us know using our contact form.
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