62+ Jo Brand Quotes On Culture, Education And Tour

Jo Brand is a British comedian, writer and actress. She is known for her deadpan delivery and acerbic wit. She is best known for her television appearances on shows such as Have I Got News For You, QI and The Great British Bake Off. Following is our collection on famous quotes by Jo Brand on culture, education, leadership.

Top 10 Jo Brand Quotes

1. The thing I thought about doing it was it's Comic Relief and you've got to be funny. So although I did try to sing properly it obviously has hilarious results when you can't sing.
2. People say you should read your criticism because it will make you a better person but it doesn't. It just makes you a sad bitter old showbiz nightmare.
3. I'm not really a churchy person, although I do think Jesus was a good bloke.
4. I took my husband to the hospital yesterday to have 17 stitches out - that'll teach him to buy me a sewing kit for my birthday.
5. I think there's a far more general audience now because I've done more populist stuff on telly.
6. Anything is good if it's made of chocolate.
7. You know it's time for a New Year's resolution to lose weight when you step on a talking scale and it says, "One at a time, please.
8. I've been breastfeeding for two years. I could light the gas ring with my nipples.
9. I wouldn't say I was organised at all. I just have to prioritise. Is it more important for them to be organised, or to have their dinner, do you know what I mean?
10. By crying on my bed, drinking quite a lot and feeling tempted by drugs. Well, just not reading it to be perfectly honest with you. I know it's a bit of a copout.

Jo Brand Short Quotes

• It's got too much hard work slapping them and telling them to shut up.
• Inside every fat person there's a thin person looking to get out - They've just eaten them.
• I look like Julian Clary on steroids.
• My doctor told me I should get out of breath three times a week, so I took up smoking.
• I'm a real Kentish maid, you know.
• I've never been a fan of euphemism.
• It wasn't a conscious effort to have kids later. It was just the way life goes.
• People can forgive each other.
• Whatever situation you are in, that is what is normal for you.
• One thing Christians do have in common is that they can't help coming across as smug.

Jo Brand Quotes About People

So, I kind of rather was hoping that people thought it would have a nice mixture of different topics and it also takes in the fact that I've had two children recently. — Jo Brand

Having done a normal job for 10 years, as a psychiatric nurse dealing with emergencies, I know what terrible, hopeless lives some people have. So in many ways, it's great to be able to wield the financial power that I can, and do gigs, fundraisers or give money. I feel lucky I can help out. — Jo Brand

I think there's a danger that we're moving towards a state where the people we are expected to admire are almost not human anymore, and I don't like that. I prefer it when someone looks like a nice person, and you think, 'I could have a laugh with them in the pub.' — Jo Brand

I find it difficult to judge myself, but people say that I have become a bit more socially acceptable over the years in terms of my material; which apparently at the beginning - though I never really intended it to be - was man hating and now is just a bit more cuddly. — Jo Brand

There's something people do to you when they bully you that makes you feel like you're on your own. But don't keep things inside, it's really damaging if you do. — Jo Brand

I tried to eat better too, but when you're on tour you literally just eat some hideous pork pie on the motorway on the way to a show. It's a really unhealthy lifestyle: you're up late, drinking loads of coffee to stay awake, drinking loads of alcohol because you're socialising with people. — Jo Brand

I'm sure some cynical people would point to that as the main reason for doing it for a lot of people. — Jo Brand

Fat people are brilliant in bed. If I'm sitting on top of you, who's going to argue? — Jo Brand

People are so different in reality from the picture created of them on TV. So it's all a creation; everything is made up. — Jo Brand

When you cry, you don't look very attractive; you look snotty and blotchy. People seem to manage to cry quite prettily these days, and to me, that smacks of not being very genuine. — Jo Brand

Jo Brand Quotes About Years

So, my style has hopefully changed over the years and it is more relaxed, and I do tend to smile and have more than one expression these days hopefully - which I didn't at the beginning. — Jo Brand

One of the guys that used to run it - for some reason I've no idea why he used to call me the Sea Monster and I was just looking around for a name and thought that'll do. That lasted for a couple of years probably. — Jo Brand

I don't know if we will ever try again because those sort of things are very hard to organise but yes, I've known Doon for years and John as well but I hadn't met Will before, and he turned out to be a good laugh. — Jo Brand

Over the years I attempted to make my style a bit more relaxed 'cause the initial style you couldn't watch for more than ten minutes without wanting to kill me. — Jo Brand

Jo Brand Quotes About Children

Again, with two small children it's incredibly hard to commit yourself to anything because you're just getting interested in it and someone comes along and goes I want Thomas The Tank Engine on, and screams the place down until you put it on. — Jo Brand

On the whole, you can have a private life and be famous. But when milestones happen in your life like having children or getting married, privacy goes out of the window. — Jo Brand

With two small children, I haven't had a wash since 2001 so the chance to go shopping is way down the list. It is something I do intend to get. — Jo Brand

I made a supreme effort not to do that thing that parents do, which is to bore people without children to death by going on and on about how funny their children are, so there's none of that hopefully. — Jo Brand

If you want to get a pet for your child, I suggest a chicken so that when they get bored of it after a couple of days at least you can have a nice roast dinner. — Jo Brand

Jo Brand Famous Quotes And Sayings

When I was a nurse my favourite assignment was the anorexic ward. I sometimes ate as many as seventeen dinners — Jo Brand

An overweight guy went to the doctor who advised him to try a keep fit DVD. But the guy said he couldn't be bothered. “Well” suggested the doctor, “try something that leaves you a little short of breath.” So the buy took up smoking. — Jo Brand

I did try when I wasn't doing the singing to do as much comedy as I could because I thought with Comic Relief you are duty bound to anyway. — Jo Brand

I don't know really, it doesn't feel like it has changed to me but I think to have to move with the times. Try out different areas and not get stuck in 1978. — Jo Brand

British ferries have stopped transporting live animals to the Continent. This has made it very difficult for England fans to get to Away matches. — Jo Brand

I was really, because I thought it was extremely excruciating when I watched a tape of it, that my husband taped for me and I never watched it again after that. — Jo Brand

Who do I like? I am a big fan of French and Saunders - not that that they are particularly stand-up I have to say, but I think they have been great for women and they are of themselves just incredibly funny whether they are male or female. — Jo Brand

I think people tend to believe that women who are successful are probably neglecting their children, possibly a bit hard-nosed and that they don't really support other women very much - that they're men-haters and ball-breakers. I've certainly been on the receiving end of those 'compliments' for most of my career. — Jo Brand

I think it's so easy when you have children just to turn your focus inward on your family and because, when they're young, you don't sleep very much, you're walking around like a zombie most of the time anyway. It's a really important part of my life to have good friends, you have to work quite hard to keep the relationships going but it's worth it. — Jo Brand

What they did was to make a pilot and it may well go to series at the next festival but I don't have any news on that. It's already been on Paramount actually, but as it's on Paramount it'll probably be on several more times... hopefully. — Jo Brand

I think I'd concentrate on young women - particularly girls at school - and I would try and build into school curriculums much more education about relationships and how girls (and boys) can handle them: stuff about consent and that sort of thing. — Jo Brand

My ex-boyfriend can round last night, which was weird because I didn't know he was in a coma. — Jo Brand

I had always fancied a go at the comedy and when it started to go reasonably well and the opportunity arose for me to move into it full time, I just couldn't turn it down. I just took the risk, and I just wanted to see if it would work and thankfully it did. — Jo Brand

It's a video release as well so I have to be perfectly honest and go, probably not specifically for DVD, but there are extra bits on it that aren't on anything else, so as exciting as that sounds. — Jo Brand

Work motivates me. I love what I do and I'm a positive person, I've always liked what I've done as a job - however grim it was. — Jo Brand

Suffice to say, many women find their first appearance on a comedy panel show to be their last. Second chances seem to be given less often to the female of the species. — Jo Brand

There's still this underlying image of women that they should fulfil a certain role. It's no accident that a lot of men who are a bit misogynistic tend to say things like 'get back to the kitchen' or 'why aren't you at home looking after the kids'. — Jo Brand

Usually, what people in the public eye do is pick two charities and just exclusively work for them. But that means you have to turn people down all the time, so I try and do something for everyone that asks me, at least once. — Jo Brand

I just don't like travelling very much. — Jo Brand

The reason I used a name was because I was a nurse at the time, and I didn't want my name in Timeout and people from working coming along and taking the piss. — Jo Brand

I think a lot of women are incredibly tough and they're just really admirable. Especially the way that, given what they've got, they just manage to carry on. — Jo Brand

I know there are certain men that hate women or don't like women, and in order to make women feel small, they tend to isolate them when they bully them. And women are often humiliated by it and feel they can't do anything about it. So my advice to women would be: there's always support around for those sorts of things and if you feel you're isolated in any way, or being bullied, you must talk to someone about it. — Jo Brand

It's inevitable that if you do okay on something like that you don't just annoy people, that it will make a difference because it seemed like such a lot of people so, yes I would have to say that it has done. — Jo Brand

Life Lessons by Jo Brand

1. Jo Brand's comedy provides an important reminder to not take life too seriously and to find joy in the little things.
2. Her work also highlights the importance of standing up for yourself and for what you believe in, regardless of what others may think.
3. Finally, her comedy encourages us to be kind to ourselves and to others, and to appreciate the differences between us.