Redneck Humor Quotes

If your idea of a 7 course meal is a bucket of KFC and a sixpack, you might be a redneck.

You can talk any redneck into a challenge. That’s why so many rednecks die in strange ways.

You might be a redneck if you need an estimate from your barber before you get a haircut.

You might be a redneck if you stand under the mistletoe at Christmas and wait for Granny and cousin Sue-Ellen to walk by.

You might be a redneck if the biggest fashion risk you take is which plaid you'll wear to the 4-H Fair.

You might be a redneck if...Your only condiment on the dining room table is the economy size bottle of ketchup.

You might be a redneck if you go to a Tupperware party for a haircut.

You might be a redneck if your wife wants to stop at the gas station to see if they've got the new Darrell Waltrip Budweiser wall clock.

You might be a redneck if you have flowers planted in a bathroom appliance in your front yard.

You might be a redneck if on your first date you had to ask your Dad to borrow the keys to the tractor.

You might be a redneck if you have every episode of Hee Haw on tape.

Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, and it holds the world together.

If the gas pedal on your car is shaped like a bare foot, you might be a redneck.

You might be a redneck if more than one living relative is named after a Southern Civil War general.

You might be a redneck if you think that beef jerky and Moon Pies are two of the major food groups.

You might be a redneck if you go Christmas shopping for your mom, sister, and girlfriend, and you only need to buy one gift.

You might be a redneck if Exxon and Conoco have offered you royalties for your hair.

You might be a redneck if your classes at school were cancelled because the path to the restroom was flooded.

If you think 'loading the dishwasher' means 'getting your wife drunk', you might be a redneck

You might be a redneck if directions to your house include turn off the paved road.

You might be a redneck if your kids are going hungry tonight because you just had to have those Yosemite Sam mud flaps.

You might be a redneck if you won't stop at a rest area if you have an empty beer can in the car.

You might be a redneck if your dog can't watch you eat without gagging.

You might be a redneck if you have a very special baseball cap, just for formal occasions.

You might be a redneck if your wife has a beer belly and you find it attractive.

You might be a redneck if you hammer bottle caps into the frame of your front door to make it look nice.

You might be a redneck if you give your dad a gallon of Pepto-Bismol for his birthday.

You might be a redneck if you consider a six-pack and a bug-zapper high-quality entertainment.

You might be a redneck if the best way to keep things cold is to leave'em in the shade.

You might be a redneck if you entire family has ever sat around waiting for a call from the governor to spare a loved one.

You might be a redneck if you have refused to watch the Academy Awards since Smokey and the Bandit was snubbed for best picture.

You might be a redneck if you prominently display a gift you bought at Graceland.

You might be a redneck if your favorite Christmas present was a painting on black velvet.

You might be a redneck if you think a chain saw is a musical instrument.