Humor is mankind's greatest blessing. — Mark Twain
Humor is a prelude to faith and laughter is the beginning of prayer. — Reinhold Niebuhr
Seriousness is a sickness; your sense of humor makes you more human, more humble. The sense of humor - according to me - is one of the most essential parts of religiousness. — Osho
Does God have a sense of humor? He must have if He created us. — Jackie Gleason
God writes a lot of comedy... the trouble is, he's stuck with so many bad actors who don't know how to play funny. — Garrison Keillor
It is good to laugh. Laughter is spiritual relaxation. — Abdu'l-Bahá
Humor is an affirmation of dignity, a declaration of man's superiority to all that befalls him. — Romain Gary
Humor is an affirmation of dignity, a declaration of man's superiority to all that befalls him. — Roman Gary
Humor is something that thrives between man's aspirations and his limitations. There is more logic in humor than in anything else. Because, you see, humor is truth. — Victor Borge
Humor is perhaps a sense of intellectual perspective: an awareness that some things are really important, others not; and that the two kinds are most oddly jumbled in everyday affairs. — Christopher Morley
Short Religious Humor Quotes
The best humor is offered up to you by the stupidity of your opponents. — Barney Frank
Don't be more serious than God. God invented dog farts. — Peter Kreeft
Humor is just another defense against the universe. — Mel Brooks
Bad humor is an evasion of reality; good humor is an acceptance of it. — Malcolm Muggeridge
Humor was another of the soul's weapons in the fight for self-preservation. — Viktor E. Frankl
When there's no girls around, there's humor. — Joe Gatto
A sense of humor is the pole that adds balance to our steps as we walk the tightrope of life. — Arabic Proverbs
Laughter is the closest thing to the grace of God. — Karl Barth
The pug is living proof that God has a sense of humor. — Margo Kaufman
Every time you find some humor in a difficult situation, you win.
Political Humor Quotes
It is dangerous to be right in matters where established men are wrong. — Voltaire
You can change your wife, your politics, your religion, but never, never can you change your favourite football team. — Eric Cantona
In America, anyone can become president. That's the problem. — George Carlin
Every time you are able to find some humor in a difficult situation, you win.
I prefer someone who burns the flag and then wraps themselves up in the Constitution over someone who burns the Constitution and then wraps themselves up in the flag. — Molly Ivins
No man's life, liberty, or property are safe while the legislature is in session. — Mark Twain
Subversive, ethical, ecological, political, humorous ... this is how I see my duty as a designer. — Philippe Starck
Nothing happens by accident. God is preparing you for great things.
Politics: Poli a Latin word meaning many and tics meaning bloodsucking creatures. — Robin Williams
Political correctness is tyranny with manners. — Charlton Heston
Few things are more irritating than when someone who is wrong is also very effective in making his point. — Mark Twain
I can see how it might be possible for a man to look down upon the earth and be an atheist, but I cannot conceive how a man could look up into the heavens and say there is no God. — Abraham Lincoln
Marriage Humor Quotes
I came from a big family. As a matter of fact, I never got to sleep alone until I was married. — Lewis Grizzard
Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. Invariably they are both disappointed. — Albert Einstein
God created sex. Priests created marriage. — Voltaire
Never miss a good chance to shut up.
You can't stay mad at somebody who makes you laugh. — Jay Leno
Married men live longer than single men. But married men are a lot more willing to die. — Johnny Carson
I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always — Red Skelton
Religious wars are basically people killing each other over who has the better imaginary friend.
All marriages are same sex marriages. You get married and every night, it's the same sex. — Bill Maher
Before marriage, a man will lie awake thinking about something you said; after marriage , he'll fall asleep before you finish saying it. — Helen Rowland
Every man should marry. After all, happiness is not the only thing in life. — Stephen Hawking
Dark Humor Quotes
A good laugh overcomes more difficulties and dissipates more dark clouds than any other one thing. — Laura Ingalls Wilder
No! Try not. Do, or do not. There is no try. — George Lucas
I am a candid interview and I have a dark and dry sense of humor - a very Canadian sense of humor and I am only learning now stupidly that you can't read tongue. When I say something funny in a newspaper and I meant it to be funny, it doesn't read that way. — Michael Buble
Always be joyful. Never stop praying. Be thankful in all circumstances.
A man's subconscious self is not the ideal companion. It lurks for the greater part of his life in some dark den of its own, hidden away, and emerges only to taunt and deride and increase the misery of a miserable hour. — P. G. Wodehouse
Dark humor appealed to me because it was a bigger laugh than you could get with anything else. Seeing people laugh at something inappropriate with their whole bodies, a guttural, visceral laugh beyond a mere "hah." — Anthony Jeselnik
A big part of the humor is in identifying with the tragic elements of the film. The New Zealand sense of humor is very dark. Our films are usually very dark and it's always someone being killed. Usually a child. — Taika Waititi
Don't be absurd! Nobody made us! We evolved by chance from snowflakes. ~ Light humor to demonstrate the fact that there is a creator for everything.
Our records, if you have a dark sense of humor, were funny, but our records weren't about comedy. They were about protests, fantasy, confrontation and all that. — Ice Cube
I envy people that know love. That have someone who takes them as they are. — Jess C Scott
Remember that every guilty compliance with the humors of the world, every sinful indulgence of our own passions, is laying up cares and fears for the hour of darkness; and that the remembrance of ill-spent time will strew our sick-bed with thorns, and rack our sinking spirits with despair. — Reginald Heber
A poem is never finished, only abandoned. — Paul Valery
If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried. — Steven Wright
At the risk of appearing disingenuous, I don't really think of myself as 'writing humor.' I'm simply reporting on the world I observe, which is frequently hilarious. — Richard Russo
He writes so well he makes me feel like putting my quill back in my goose. — Fred Allen
Based on what you know about him in history books, what do you think Abraham Lincoln would be doing if he were alive today? 1) Writing his memoirs of the Civil War. 2) Advising the President. 3) Desperately clawing at the inside of his coffin. — David Letterman
I think people appreciate a songwriter who shows different sides. The whole angst thing is cool, but if that's all you've got, it's just boring. Everything I write, whether it's happy or sad, has a sense of humor to it. — Katy Perry
There is no civil nor religios law, that has broken, nor can break the bond of fraternity which nature has established between men.
A writer's voice is not character alone, it is not style alone; it is far more. A writer's voice line the stroke of an artist's brush- is the thumbprint of her whole person- her idea, wit, humor, passions, rhythms. — Patricia Lee Gauch
Just tell the truth, and they'll accuse you of writing black humor. — Charles Willeford
Whenever I'm out of town for at least a week, I feel like I should write a postcard or something, but you can be a genius, you try and write a postcard you come across like a moron anyway: 'This city's got big buildings. I like food. Bye.' — Jim Gaffigan
And some people say Jesus wasn't Jewish. Of COURSE he was Jewish! 30 years old, single, lives with his parents, come on! He works in his father's business, his mom thought he was God's gift, he's Jewish! Give it up! — Robin Williams
People are always introducing me as Sarah Silverman, Jewish comedienne. I hate that! I wish people would see me for who I really am — I'm white! — Sayings
A Jewish man pulls up to the curb and asks the policeman, "Can I park here?" "No" says the cop. "What about all these other cars?" "They didn't ask!" — Henny Youngman
My girlfriend is Jewish. But it's easier to buy her a Christmas present and then break it into 8 pieces. — Anthony Jeselnik
I always thought the biggest failing of Americans was their lack of irony. They are very serious there! Naturally, there are exceptions... the Jewish, Italian, and Irish humor of the East Coast. — Colin Firth
I put a What Would Jesus Do bracelet on my Jewish friend's wrist and it burned his skin. He threw it on the ground, it turned into a serpent, we both started laughing. We left it there, we hate snakes. We think they're slimy, even though we know they're not. — Daniel Tosh
A car hit a Jewish man. The paramedic says, "Are you comfortable?" The man says, "I make a good living." — Henny Youngman
I'm a Larry David fan, right? And it seems to me that Jewish history from the Talmud on has been a self-deprecating, self-critical kind of humor. — Peter Eisenman
I certainly didn't have New York Jewish humor. But I was in three Mel Brooks films so people thought I was a connoisseur of New York Jewish humor. — Gene Wilder
Jewish introspection and Jewish humor is a way of surviving . . . if you're not handsome and you're not athletic and you're not rich, there's still one last hope with girls, which is being funny. — Mike Nichols
The less Holy Spirit we have, the more cake and coffee we need to keep the church going. — Reinhard Bonnke
Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you an automobile. — Billy Sunday
I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness. — Emo Philips
I’m not a religious person; I would call myself an atheist. I don’t have a good story behind it, I’m just reasonable. — Anthony Jeselnik
The fact that a believer is happier than a skeptic is no more to the point than the fact that a drunken man is happier than a sober one. — George Bernard Shaw
Religion is like a pair of shoes.....Find one that fits for you, but don't make me wear your shoes. — George Carlin
The church is like manure. Pile it up, and it stinks up the neighborhood. Spread it out, and it enriches the world. — Luis Palau
I sincerely believe that the collective efforts of many secularists during the past generation, resulting in the expulsion from our schools and from the public square, has left us vulnerable. — Jerry Falwell
That ideology was never going to work, was it? It was just cobbled together from different beliefs: The anti-intellectualism of the Khmer Rouge, the religious persecution of the Nazis, the enforced beard-wearing from the world of folk music, and the segregation and humiliation of women from the world of golf. — Bill Bailey
We're fighting against humanism, we're fighting against liberalism...we are fighting against all the systems of Satan that are destroying our nation today...our battle is with Satan himself. — Jerry Falwell
The religion of one age is the literary entertainment of the next. — Ralph Waldo Emerson
The best way to get rid of the Devil, if you cannot kill it with the words of Holy Scripture, is to rail at and mock him. Music, too, is very good; music is hateful to him, and drives him far away. — Martin Luther
Many demons are in woods, in waters, in wildernesses, and in dark poolly places ready to hurt...people. — Martin Luther
I admire the serene assurance of those who have religious faith. It is wonderful to observe the calm confidence of a Christian with four aces. — Mark Twain
If God is everywhere, I had concluded, then He is in food. Therefore, the more I ate the godlier I would become. Impelled by this new religious fervor, I glutted myself like a fanatic. — Woody Allen
The Devil fears the word of God, He can't bite it; it breaks his teeth. — Martin Luther
Good humor is a philosophic state of mind; it seems to say to nature that we take her no more seriously than she takes us. — Ernest Renan
What shall we do with...the Jews?...set fire to their synagogues or schools and bury and cover with dirt whatever will not burn, so that no man will ever again see a stone or cinder of them. — Martin Luther
The USA is so enormous, and so numerous are its schools, colleges and religious seminaries, many devoted to special religious beliefs ranging from the unorthodox to the dotty, that we can hardly wonder at its yielding a more bounteous harvest of gobbledygook than the rest of the world put together. — Peter Medawar
Good-humor is a philosophic state of mind; it seems to say to Nature that we take her no more seriously than she takes us. I maintain that one should always talk of philosophy with a smile. — William James
Reason must be deluded, blinded, and destroyed. Faith must trample underfoot all reason, sense, and understanding, and whatever it sees must be put out of sight and ... know nothing but the word of God. — Martin Luther
What shall we do with...the Jews?...I advise that safe-conduct on the highways be abolished completely for the Jews. — Martin Luther
You ever hear girls say that? "I'm not religious, but I'm spiritual." I like to reply with "I'm not honest, but you're interesting!" — Daniel Tosh
Life in Lubbock, Texas, taught me ... that sex is the most awful, filthy thing on earth and you should save it for someone you love. — Butch Hancock
There is no separation of church and state. Modern US Supreme Courts have raped the Constitution and raped the Christian faith and raped the churches by misinterpreting what the Founders had in mind in the First Amendment to the Constitution. — Jerry Falwell
As for the demented, I hold it certain that all beings deprived of reason are thus afflicted only by the Devil. — Martin Luther
In many countries there are particular places to which devils more especially resort. In Prussia there is an infinite number of evil spirits. — Martin Luther
Long before the word Zionism was uttered for the first time, old religious Jews came from all over the world to die in Jerusalem. It is the finest place to die in - it has always been acknowledged. It has a joie de mourir quite its own. — George Mikes
The more you complain the longer God lets you live — Bertrand Russell
In Switzerland, on a high mountain, not far from Lucerne, there is a lake they call Pilate's Pond, which the Devil has fixed upon as one of the chief residences of his evil spirits. — Martin Luther
I should have no compassion on these witches; I should burn them all. — Martin Luther
Cartooning is preaching. And I think we have a right to do some preaching. I hate shallow humor. I hate shallow religious humor, I hate shallow sports humor, I hate shallowness of any kind. — Charles M. Schulz
Whoever wants to be a Christian should tear the eyes out of his reason. — Martin Luther
A legal or religious ceremony by which two persons of the opposite sex solemnly agree to harass and spy on each other... until death do them join. — Elbert Hubbard
There were many reasons we broke up. There was a religious difference: I'm a Catholic, and she's the devil. — Adam Ferrara
This is probably as bad a day as the court has had on social issues since Roe vs. Wade. — Jerry Falwell
The Muslims observe their Sabbath on Friday, the Jews observe on Saturday, and the Christians on Sunday. By the time Monday rolls around God is completely f***in' worn out. — George Carlin
Religious humor is not really my area, so I probably wouldn't do anything about that, or politics or something. — Chris Lilley
A large number of deaf, crippled and blind people are afflicted solely through the malice of the demon. And one must in no wise doubt that plagues, fevers and every sort of evil come from him. — Martin Luther
I cannot see how a man of any large degree of humorous perception can ever be religious -- except he purposely shut the eyes of his mind and keep them shut by force. — Mark Twain
I was voted Most Humorous in my senior class in high school, and I was a fan of comedy, my whole life. I never got into the horror genre, and action was fine, but I just loved comedy. Any comedy I could get my hands on, I would. I watched Saturday Night Live religiously. I've just been a fan of comedy, my whole life. — Rob Riggle
So tenaciously should we cling to the world revealed by the Gospel, that were I to see all the Angels of Heaven coming down to me to tell me something different, not only would I not be tempted to doubt a single syllable, but I would shut my eyes and stop my ears, for they would not deserve to be either seen or heard. — Martin Luther
In Conclusion
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