Old age isn't so bad when you consider the alternative. — Maurice Chevalier
A man growing old becomes a child again. — Sophocles
Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional. — Chili Davis
Growing old is compulsory - growing up is optional. — Bob Monkhouse
Getting old is a fascination thing. The older you get, the older you want to get. — Keith Richards
The soul is born old but grows young. That is the comedy of life. — Oscar Wilde
Old age is the time when birthday candles cost more than the birthday cake itself, and half of your urine is wasted on medical testing. — Faina Ranevskaya
This is a youth-oriented society, and the joke is on them because youth is a disease from which we all recover. — Dorothy Fuldheim
It's funny, isn't it? When you are young you just want to be old, and then later you wish you could go back to being a kid. — Lauren Oliver
I am appalled that the term we use to talk about aging is 'anti'. Aging is human evolution in its pure form. Death, taxes and aging .... We are ALL going to age and soften and mellow and transition. — Jamie Lee Curtis
Short Funny Aging Quotes
One of the most surprising things in life is the sudden realization that one has become old — Leon Trotsky
Old age is an insult. It's like being smacked. — Lawrence Durrell
As we grow older, our bodies get shorter and our anecdotes longer. — Robert Quillen
With mirth and laughter let old wrinkles come. — William Shakespeare
Aging has 100% mortality rate and no one cares. — Andrej Karpathy
The aging process has you firmly in its grasp if you never get the urge to throw a snowball. — Doug Larson
Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle. — Bob Hope
The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age. — Lucille Ball
As one grows older, one becomes wiser and more foolish. — Francois de la Rochefoucauld
Growing old is like being increasingly penalized for a crime you haven't committed. — Anthony Powell
To thrive in life you need three bones. A wishbone. A backbone. And a funny bone.
Old Age Humor Quotes
Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician. — Dorothy Parker
When I turned two I was really anxious, because I'd doubled my age in a year. I thought, if this keeps up, by the time I'm six I'll be ninety. — Steven Wright
Life is like a hot bath. It feels good while you're in it, but the longer you stay, the more wrinkled you get. — Jim Davis
Isn't it funny how day by day nothing changes, but when you look back everything is different.
People ask me what I'd most appreciate getting for my eighty-seventh birthday. I tell them, a paternity suit. — George Burns
Some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age. — C. E. M. Joad
If you need a baby that bad, go down to the pound and get one. Not even a baby - go get an old man. There's unwanted people of all ages, pre-made and waiting for you. — Doug Stanhope
Aging is an extraordinary process where you become the person you always should have been.
The best birthdays of all are those that haven't arrived yet. — Robert Orben
At 50, don't let aging get you down. It's too hard to get back up. Happy 50th birthday. — H. H. Asquith
You are never too old to become younger! — Mae West
Truthfully, in this age those with intellect have no courage and those with some modicum of physical courage have no intellect. If things are to alter during the next fifty years then we must re-embrace Byron’s ideal: the cultured thug. — Sayings
Exercise is remarkably beneficial for the brain. High fitness levels in midlife delayed dementia onset by 9.5 years in women. Larger brain volumes have also been linked to increased physical activity. Maintain youthful brain volume by embracing exercise. We can transform our brain health as we age. — Rhonda Patrick
We have been filled with grief as we have witnessed the decline of the North American Church that was once filled with missionary zeal and yet now seems determined to bury itself in a deadly embrace with the spirit of the age. — Peter Akinola
I tried to be normal once. Worst to minutes of my life.
Eight inches strong, it is my favourite thing;
If I'm alone at night, I embrace it fully -
A beautiful woman hasn't touched it for ages.
Within my fundoshi there is an entire universe! — Ikkyu
I am sent to you to confute, not to embrace your heresy. The Catholic religion is the faith of all ages, I fear not death. . . Pardon my enemies, O Lord: blinded by passion they know not what they do. Lord Jesus, have mercy on me. Mary, Mother of God, succor me! — Fidelis of Sigmaringen
I embrace old age. Look, I'm never going to dunk on LeBron James, and I've learned to accept that. I got a pretty good life, and I'm very fortunate, and I have my blessings. — Mark Wahlberg
Laughter is timeless, imagination has no age, and dreams are forever.
Unless the church is equipping believers to embrace the values and vision of the kingdom of God and turn away from the materialism, consumerism, greed, and power of the present age, it not only abandons its biblical mandate, it is rendered missionally ineffective. — Alan Hirsch
I think women should start to embrace their age. What's the alternative to getting older? You die. I can't change the day I was born. But I can take care of my skin, my body, my mind, and try to live my life and be happy. — Olivia Munn
I never want to lie about my age. If I look around at the actresses I admire, they are all women who have not fought growing older, but embraced it and been proud of it - women like Sophia Loren or Audrey Hepburn. — Sayings
Every age has its storytelling form, and video gaming is a huge part of our culture. You can ignore or embrace video games and imbue them with the best artistic quality. People are enthralled with video games in the same way as other people love the cinema or theatre. — Andy Serkis
Getting Old Quotes
You'll get my assault weapon when you pry it out of my curious six-year-old's cold dead hands. — Anthony Jeselnik
I used to hate old-timers who didn't praise the younger wrestlers, but you've got to pass the torch sometime. If you're old, that torch gets too heavy for you and you can't carry it, so it won't do you any good. — Randy Savage
The hard thing when you get old is to keep your horizons open. The first part of your life everything is in front of you, all your potential and promise. But over the years, you make decisions; you carve yourself into a given shape. Then the challenge is to keep discovering the green growing edge. — Howard Thurman
Keep recognizing that reality is changing and that your ideas have to change. Don’t get stuck in old ideas. — Grace Lee Boggs
We turn not older with years but newer every day. — Emily Dickinson
People still stereotype all day long. But if you forget your own age, you'll get so focused on the business that you become ultra-confident and people will forget to question how old you are. — Gurbaksh Chahal
You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you're down there. — George Burns
At age 20, we worry about what others think of us. At age 40, we don't care what they think of us. At age 60, we discover they haven't been thinking of us at all. — Ann Landers
There's an old expression about falling off a horse. You get back on and you ride that bad boy into town. — Brock Lesnar
Retirement Humor Quotes
I have comedic things in my stuff, but I don’t consider myself a comedian. I’m just a YouTuber, I guess just a personality. — Ryan Higa
As in all successful ventures, the foundation of a good retirement is planning. — Earl Nightingale
What do gardeners do when they retire? — Bob Monkhouse
Accepting Aging Quotes
Maturity comes not with age but with the acceptance of responsibility. You are only young once but immaturity can last a lifetime! — Edwin Louis Cole
Of course there is no formula for success, except perhaps an unconditional acceptance of life, and what it brings — Arthur Rubinstein
Unfortunately, because aging is so common and natural, we tend to think of it as destiny or something we should accept. — David Sinclair
The world of visual perspective is one of unified and homogeneous space. Such a world is alien to the resonating diversity of spoken words. So language was the last art to accept the visual logic of Gutenberg technology, and the first to rebound in the electric age. — Marshall McLuhan
There is, however, only one idea of duty which has been universally accepted by all mankind, of all ages and sects and countries, and that has been summed up in a Sanskrit aphorism thus: "Do not injure any being; not injuring any being is virtue, injuring any being is sin." — Swami Vivekananda
I have reached a point in my life where I understand the pain and the challenges; and my attitude is one of standing up with open arms to meet them all. — Myrlie Evers-Williams
Then let yourself love all that you take delight in
Accept yourself whole, accept the heritage
That shaped you and is passed on from age to age
Down to your entity. Remain mysterious;
Rather than be pure, accept yourself as numerous. — John Ashbery
We can change our lives for the better, and always have. We used to think pain during surgery and dying during childbirth were inevitable. We no longer accept that, and we shouldn't just accept aging. — David Sinclair
The face of an old woman can't be hidden even if she scrubbed it off with a scratch pad. — Moroccan Proverbs
Getting older is a struggle. I always feel that just under the surface of acceptance and enjoyment of the ageing process is a terrible hysteria just waiting to burst out. — Michael Sheen
Growing Old Quotes
We don't stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing. — George Bernard Shaw
The value of life is not in its duration, but in its donation. You are not important because of how long you live, you are important because of how effective you live. And most people are concerned about growing old rather than being effective. — Myles Munroe
Keep the Pineal Gland operating and you will Never grow Old, You will always be Young. — Edgar Cayce
The years go by one after the other; time slips past us with out our being aware of it; we grow old like ordinary men and we shall end like them. — Louis XIV
Nobody grows old merely by living a number of years. We grow old by deserting our ideals. Years may wrinkle the skin, but to give up enthusiasm wrinkles the soul. — Samuel Ullman
Do not lose joy in life as you grow old in years. Let not your 'joie de vivre be crushed under the weight of years. — Zoroaster
He who is of a calm and happy nature, will hardly feel the pressure of age — Plato
Healthy Aging Quotes
All parts of the body which have a function, if used in moderation and exercised in labors in which each is accustomed, become thereby healthy, well developed and age more slowly, but if unused they become liable to disease, defective in growth and age quickly. — Hippocrates
I want to get old gracefully. I want to have good posture, I want to be healthy and be an example to my children. — Sting
The more healthy relationships a child has, the more likely he will be to recover from trauma and thrive. Relationships are the agents of change and the most powerful therapy is human love. — Bruce D. Perry
You see, you don't get old from age, you get old from inactivity, from not believing in something. — Jack LaLanne
When you feel you’re committed to something outside of yourself - some process ideally that contributes in a greater way to society - that seems to be one of the best predictors of long-term health and healthy aging. — Tommy Wood
The microbiome is absolutely critical to healthy aging. — Will Bulsiewicz
Supplementation with vitamin D and omega-3 combined with a strength exercise program for 3 years resulted in a 61% reduction in cancer risk among generally healthy and active adults aged 70 and older. — Rhonda Patrick
Giving is the secret to a healthy life. Not necessarily money, but whatever a person has to give of encouragement, sympathy, and understanding. — John D. Rockefeller
Eating a diet rich in whole, nutrient-dense foods can help support healthy aging and longevity. — Steven Gundry
It's not just the idea of living longer that has driven me, it's living healthy longer. — Valter Longo
Aging Is Inevitable Quotes
Aging is an inevitable process. I surely wouldn't want to grow younger. The older you become, the more you know; your bank account of knowledge is much richer. — William Holden
My message is "Getting older is inevitable. Aging and deterioration are optional." — Christiane Northrup
Your spiritual family is even more important than your physical family because it will last forever. Our families on earth are wonderful gifts from God, but they are temporary and fragile, often broken by divorce, distance, growing old, and inevitably, death. — Rick Warren
Losing friends and spouses is an inevitable part of aging, and many people have a tendency to go quietly into semi-isolation. Instead, set your intention on expanding and deepening the love in your life. — Deepak Chopra
Some learning and talent professionals, together with some organisations, are finding it a challenge to make changes from these age-old HR and learning practices. However, it is inevitable that they will need to adopt new ways of learning to support new ways of working sooner rather than later. — Charles Jennings
If cynicism is inevitable as one ages, so is the yearning for innocence. To children heaven is being an adult, and to adults heaven is being children again. — Diane Ackerman
The sense of national catastrophe is inevitably heightened in a television age, when the whole country participates in it. — R. W. Apple, Jr.
Genius worship is the inevitable sign of an uncreative age. — Clive Bell
Don't program yourself to break down as you age with thoughts that decline is inevitable. Time may be passing for our bodies, but because they house our ageless souls, we never need to see ourselves as old and infirm. — Wayne Dyer
One of the great sophistries of our age, I think, is that merely because one has an inclination to do something, that therefore acting in accordance with that inclination is inevitable. That's contrary to our very nature as the Lord has revealed to us. We do have the power to control our behavior. — Lance B. Wickman
Positive Aging Quotes
Count your age by friends, not years. Count your life by smiles, not tears. — John Lennon
Know that you are the perfect age. Each year is special and precious, for you shall only live it once. Be comfortable with growing older. — Louise Hay
Human beings can be beautiful. If they are not beautiful it is entirely their own fault. It is what they do to themselves that makes them ugly. The longer I live the more beautiful life becomes. If you foolishly ignore beauty, you will soon find yourself without it. — Frank Lloyd Wright
Some day you will be old enough to start reading fairy tales again. — C. S. Lewis
The body is incredibly adaptable, and we can make positive changes to our health at any age. — Steven Gundry
Beauty comes in all ages, colors, shapes, and forms. God never makes junk. — Kathy Ireland
The key to successful aging is...to pay as little attention to it as possible. — Judith Regan
As a child, I never heard one woman say to me, "I love my body". Not my mother, my elder sister, my best friend. No one woman has ever said, "I am so proud of my body." So I make sure to say it to Mia , because a positive physical outlook has to start at an early age. — Kate Winslet
The images evoked by words being independent of their sense, they vary from age to age and from people to people, the formulas remaining identical. Certain transitory images are attached to certain words: the word is merely as it were the button of an electric bell that calls them up. — Gustave Le Bon
Those who love deeply never grow old; they may die of old age, but they die young. — Arthur Wing Pinero
Birthdays And Aging Quotes
Middle-age is when you're sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn't for you. — Ogden Nash
Youth is the gift of nature, but age is a work of art. — Stanislaw Jerzy Lec
Thanks to modern medical advances such as antibiotics, nasal spray, and Diet Coke, it has become routine for people in the civilized world to pass the age of 40, sometimes more than once. — Dave Barry
Your True Nature Is Love. There's Nothing You Can Do About It. — Byron Katie
When you are younger you get blamed for crimes you never committed and when you're older you begin to get credit for virtues you never possessed. It evens itself out. — Casey Stengel
One can remain alive ... if one is unafraid of change, insatiable in intellectual curiosity interested in big things and happy in small ways. — Edith Wharton
A birthday is just another day where you go to work and people give you love. Age is just a state of mind, and you are as old as you think you are. You have to count your blessings and be happy. — Abhishek Bachchan
I think ageing is challenging, surprising, fun, and full of friendship, so that is the approach I’ll take, objecting to the stigmatization of ageing in so many modern societies. — Martha C. Nussbaum
From our birthday, until we die, Is but the winking of an eye. — William Butler Yeats
Isn't it funny how day by day nothing changes, but when you look back, everything is different. — C. S. Lewis
Careful grooming may take twenty years off a woman's age, but you can't fool a flight of stairs. — Marlene Dietrich
Too many people, when they get old, think that they have to live by the calendar. — John Glenn
Just remember, once you're over the hill you begin to pick up speed. — Arthur Schopenhauer
Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out. — Phyllis Diller
I want you to know that also I will not make age an issue of this campaign. I am not going to exploit, for political purposes, my opponent's youth and inexperience. — Ronald Reagan
Beware of the young doctor and the old barber. — Benjamin Franklin
Old age is like everything else. To make a success of it, you've got to start young. — Theodore Roosevelt
My love life is like a piece of Swiss cheese; most of it's missing, and what's there stinks. — Joan Rivers
If you associate enough with older people who do enjoy their lives, who are not stored away in any golden ghettos, you will gain a sense of continuity and of the possibility for a full life. — Tom Stoppard
I told my wife a man is like wine, he gets better with age. She locked me in the cellar. — Rodney Dangerfield
One not only drinks the wine, one smells it, observes it, tastes it, sips it and-one talks about it. — Edward VII
It is a mistake to regard age as a downhill grade toward dissolution. The reverse is true. As one grows older, one climbs with surprising strides. — George Sand
We've had the Iron Age, the Stone Age, this is the pissin' about age. — Karl Pilkington
Should I be the one to play God? We're both about the same age, but we grew up in different neighborhoods. — George Burns
Children from the age of five to ten should watch more television. Television depicts adults as rotten SOB's given to fistfights, gunplay, and other mayhem. Kids who believe this about grownups aren't likely to argue about bedtime. — P. J. O'Rourke
Old age means realizing you will never own all the dogs you wanted to. — Joe Gores
The advantage of being eighty years old is that one has many people to love. — Jean Renoir
Only a few things are really important. — Marie Dressler
When a man retires and time is no longer a matter of urgent importance, his colleagues generally present him with a watch. — R. C. Sherriff
You know you're getting old when everything hurts. And what doesn't hurt doesn't work. — Hy Gardner
Comediennes are the lucky ones, because if you're funny, you can be 125 years old and they will still accept you. — Joan Rivers
The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for. — Will Rogers
My father confused me. From the ages of one to seven, I thought my name was Jesus Christ! — Spike Milligan
You're birthday reminds me of the old Chinese scholar..... Yung No Mo — Dana Rosemary Scallon
A man who correctly guesses a woman`s age may be smart, but he's not very bright. — Lucille Ball
Age is something that doesn't matter, unless you are a cheese. Age is strictly a case of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter. — Jack Benny
To get back my youth I would do anything in the world, except take exercise, get up early, or be respectable. — Oscar Wilde
An hour with your grandchildren can make you feel young again. Anything longer than that, and you start to age quickly. — Gene Perret
In Conclusion
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