What's drinking? A mere pause from thinking! — Lord Byron
I drink to make other people more interesting. — Ernest Hemingway
Some drink to forget, some drink to remember-me, I drink to get bagged. — Sayings
I only drink to make other people seem more interesting. — George Jean Nathan
Be careful with drinking this Christmas. I got so drunk last night I found myself dancing in a cheesy bar... Or, as you like to call it, delicatessen. — Sean Hughes
Here’s to drinking and swallowing, for the world is going to end. — Spanish Proverbs
When men drink, then they are rich and successful and win lawsuits and are happy and help their friends. Quickly, bring me a beaker of wine, so that I may wet my mind and say something clever. — Aristophanes
When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. Sooooo, let's all get drunk and go to heaven! — Brian O'Rourke
A drunk was in front of a judge. The judge says "You've been brought here for drinking." The drunk says "Okay, let's get started. — Henny Youngman
Champagne's funny stuff. I'm used to whiskey. Whiskey is a slap on the back, and champagne's a heavy mist before my eyes. — James Stewart
Drinking is another way of thinking, another way of living. It gives you two lives instead of one. — Charles Bukowski
Drink, sir, is a great provoker of three things . . . nose-painting, sleep, and urine. Lechery, sir, it provokes, and unprovokes; it provokes the desire, but it takes away the performance. — William Shakespeare
Short Funny Drinking Quotes
It pays to get drunk with the best people. — Joe E. Lewis
Watermelon - it's a good fruit. You eat, you drink, you wash your face. — Enrico Caruso
Everybody's got to believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer. — W. C. Fields
You can only drink 30 or 40 glasses of beer a day, no matter how rich you are. — Adolphus Busch
I envy people who drink. At least they have something to blame everything on. — Oscar Levant
Holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.
Irish Drinking Quotes
God invented whiskey to keep the Irish from ruling the world. — Ed Mcmahon
The light music of whiskey falling into glasses made an agreeable interlude. — James Joyce
In heaven there is no beer. That's why we drink ours here. — Frank Yankovic
To thrive in life you need three bones. A wishbone. A backbone. And a funny bone.
Here's to our wives and girlfriends...may they never meet! — Groucho Marx
I only take a drink on two occasions - when I'm thirsty and when I'm not. — Brendan Behan
When I die, I want to decompose in a barrel of porter and have it served in all the pubs in Dublin. I wonder would they know it was me? — J. P. Donleavy
Isn't it funny how day by day nothing changes, but when you look back everything is different.
It's better to spend money like there's no tomorrow than to spend tonight like there's no money. — P. J. O'Rourke
Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza. — Dave Barry
When money's tight and is hard to get And your horse has also ran, When all you have is a heap of debt A PINT OF PLAIN IS YOUR ONLY MAN. — Flann O'Brien
New York was the only city I knew in the world where you could be desperately lonely at nine in the morning, crossing the street for a bagel at Gristede's, and find that seven hours later you were drinking Irish coffee at P.J. Clarke's with all the friends you had inherited along the way. — Shirley Maclaine
Good Funny Quotes
Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are a good person is a little like expecting the bull not to attack you because you are a vegetarian. — Dennis Wholey
Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand. — Woody Allen
I've lost a million and a half on the horses and dice in the last two years. And the funny part is, I still like 'em, and if someone handed me another million I'd put it right in the nose
of some horse that looked good to me. — Al Capone
I tried to be normal once. Worst to minutes of my life.
A good friend is a connection to life - a tie to the past, a road to the future, the key to sanity in a totally insane world. — Lois Wyse
A good speech should be like a woman's skirt: long enough to cover the subject and short enough to create interest — Winston Churchill
A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart, and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words. — Donna Roberts
Women need a reason to have sex, men just need a place. — Billy Crystal
love the life you live. live the life you love. — Bob Marley
There is a planet named Pluto, but we don't have one named Goofy. Goofy would be a good name for this planet. It certainly qualifies. — Sayings
Drinking Beer Quotes
Whoever drinks beer, he is quick to sleep; whoever sleeps long, does not sin; whoever does not sin, enters Heaven! Thus, let us drink beer! — Martin Luther
Give my people plenty of beer, good beer, and cheap beer, and you will have no revolution among them. — Queen Victoria
Bad men live that they may eat and drink, whereas good men eat and drink that they may live. — Socrates
Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world. — Wilhelm II
A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory. — Albert Einstein
A bottle of wine contains more philosophy than all the books in the world. — Louis Pasteur
Never miss a good chance to shut up.
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. — George Carlin
Many battles have been fought and won by soldiers nourished on beer, and the King does not believe that coffee-drinking soldiers can be relied upon to endure hardships in case of another war. — Frederick the Great
Men are nicotine soaked, beer besmirched, whiskey greased, red-eyed devils. — Carrie Nation
Milk is for babies. When you grow up you have to drink beer. — Arnold Schwarzenegger
Good Drinking Quotes
I’m not good-looking. I used to be, but not anymore. Not like Robert Taylor. What I have got is I have character in my face. It’s taken an awful lot of late nights and drinking to put it there. When I go to work in a picture, I say, ‘Don’t take the lines out of my face. Leave them there.’ — Humphrey Bogart
Being drunk is a good disguise. I drink so I can talk to assholes. This includes me. — Jim Morrison
He who neither drinks, nor smokes, nor dances, he who preaches & even occasionally practice piety, temperance and celibacy, is generally a saint, or a mahatma or more likely a humbug but he certainly won't make a leader or for that matter a good soldier — Sam Manekshaw
Too much of anything is bad, but too much good whiskey is barely enough. — Mark Twain
I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day. — Frank Sinatra
I made a commitment to completely cut out drinking and anything that might hamper me from getting my mind and body together. And the floodgates of goodness have opened upon me-spiritually and financially. — Denzel Washington
I made a commitment to completely cut out drinking and anything that might hamper me from getting my mind and body together. And the floodgates of goodness have opened upon me - spiritually and financially. — Denzel Washington
Men even contract the dirty, filthy habit of chewing tobacco, and when the habit gets a good hold upon them they are never satisfied except when they have a wad of the stuff in their mouth. So with drinking. It is largely a habit. — Thomas Jordan Jarvis
Beer is not a good cocktail-party drink, especially in a home where you don't know where the bathroom is. — Billy Carter
Safe Drinking Quotes
We shall not defeat any of the infectious diseases that plague the developing world until we have also won the battle for safe drinking water, sanitation, and basic health care. — Kofi Annan
A tree never hits an automobile except in self defense. — Woody Allen
The health of our waters is the principle measure of how we live on the land. — Luna Leopold
Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.
Globalization was supposed to break down barriers between continents and bring all peoples together. But what kind of globalization do we have with over one billion people on the planet not having safe water to drink? — Mikhail Gorbachev
Craft brewers are committed to promoting the safe and moderate consumption of their beverage, and work closely with their communities to prevent underage drinking and alcohol abuse. — Sherwood Boehlert
Zen martini: A martini with no vermouth at all. And no gin, either. — P. J. O'Rourke
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
No king on earth is as safe in his job as a Trade Union official. There is only one thing that can get him sacked; and that is drink. Not even that, as long as he doesn't actually fall down. — George Bernard Shaw
Thus, statesmanlike, I'll saucily impose,
And safe from action, valiantly advise;
Sheltered in impotence, urge you to blows,
And being good for nothing else, be wise. — John Wilmot
The way we guarantee safe drinking water is broken and needs to be fixed. — Carol Browner
If four or five guys tell you that you're drunk, even though you know you haven't had a thing to drink, the least you can do is to lie down a little while. — Joseph M. Schenck
Shots Drinking Quotes
I believe - to the best of my recollection, anyway - that I soon made the classic error of moving from margaritas to actual shots of straight tequila. It does make it easier to meet new people. — Anthony Bourdain
I've never been drunk, but often I've been overserved. — George Gobel
Alcohol is a very necessary article. It enables Parliament to do things at eleven at night that no sane person would do at eleven in the morning. — George Bernard Shaw
From there to here, and here to there, funny things are everywhere.
You're so very good at that. The temper, the scowl. You must drink shots of testosterone in your morning coffee. — Rob Thurman
My rule of life prescribed as an absolutely sacred rite smoking cigars. — Winston Churchill
I'm not trying to be a big shot or anything like that, but I get my drinks half price. — Steve Martin
Live in the sunshine. Swim the sea. Drink the wild air.
They're professionals at this in Russia, so no matter how many Jell-O shots or Jager shooters you might have downed at college mixers, no matter how good a drinker you might think you are, don't forget that the Russians - any Russian - can drink you under the table. — Anthony Bourdain
I don't have any particular thing I do ritualistically. I do the same thing every day. I get up. Drink a lot of water. Have a wheatgrass shot. Drink some green juice. Eat as healthy as I can. — Erykah Badu
I've been playing the CNN Drinking Game, have you ever played that? Where you do a shot every time George Bush says the word "evil"? Oh, I'm a wreck! You gotta do a double shot every time he says "evildoers". Chug the bottle for "axis of evil". Are you a president or an exorcist?! — Doug Stanhope
Shots came, I don't know where they was sent from. Probably some bad hoes I'm bouta take the hint from — Drake
Bars Drinking Quotes
My entire social life is spent in bars, so I don't see giving up drinking as a viable option. Could you see me saying, 'Tomato juice please?' — Lemmy Kilmister
My selective memory of what drinking was like told me that standing at the bar in a pub, on a summer's evening with a long, tall glass of lager and lime was heaven, and I chose not to remember the nights on which I had sat with a bottle of vodka, a gram of coke and a shotgun, contemplating suicide. — Eric Clapton
Not only do I like to go to bars because I like to drink, I do like to drink, but I go because who do you see there? Baseball fans. — Harry Caray
Give a man a bottle of wine, he drinks for a day. Teach a man to make wine, he'll always have lots of friends
I know I'm not a showy politician... I don't go drinking in parliament's bars. I don't wear my heart on my sleeve, I just get on with the job in front of me and you can judge me by my record. — Theresa May
You know you have a drinking problem when the bartender knows your name -- and you've never been to that bar before. — Zach Galifianakis
Instead of dispensing soft drinks and candy bars, the vending machines at MIT sell slide rules. — Ronald McNair
I will meet you in the dirtiest city you can dream of. We will drink cocktails so sweet they pucker our cheeks, as we perch on cracked leather bar stools. I will buy you plates of calcium and protein and we will run through the streets in excellent danger. — Michelle Tea
I went to the worst of bars hoping to get killed but all I could do was to get drunk again. — Charles Bukowski
Karaoke bars combine two of the nation's greatest evils: people who shouldn't drink with people who shouldn't sing. — Tom Dreesen
Drinking beer doesn't make you fat, it makes you lean...Against bars, tables, chairs, and poles. — Gerard Way
The only way that I could figure they could improve upon Coca-Cola, one of life's most delightful elixirs, which studies prove will heal the sick and occasionally raise the dead, is to put bourbon in it. — Lewis Grizzard
When I sell liquor, it's bootlegging. When my patrons serve it on a silver tray on Lakeshore Drive, it's hospitality. — Al Capone
There is no such thing as bad whiskey. Some whiskeys just happen to be better than others. But a man shouldn't fool with booze until he's fifty; then he's a damn fool if he doesn't. — William Faulkner
We should look for someone to eat and drink with before looking for something to eat and drink. — Epicurus
Life is a waste of time and time is a waste of life, so let's all get wasted and have the time of our lives. — Kurt Cobain
I love to sing, and I love to drink scotch. Most people would rather hear me drink scotch. — George Burns
Be careful to trust a person who does not like wine. — Karl Marx
Nobody cares that you're smart and nobody cares that your kids don't have bruises. — Jim Jefferies
I exercise strong self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast. — W. C. Fields
Don't trust a brilliant idea unless it survives the hangover. — Jimmy Breslin
Accept what life offers you and try to drink from every cup. All wines should be tasted; some should only be sipped, but with others, drink the whole bottle. — Paulo Coelho
One should always be drunk. That's all that matters...But with what? With wine, with poetry, or with virtue, as you chose. But get drunk. — Charles Baudelaire
The older I get, the better I used to be. — Lee Trevino
I think the warning labels on alcoholic beverages are too bland. They should be more vivid. Here is one I would suggest: "Alcohol will turn you into the same asshole your father was. — George Carlin
One not only drinks the wine, one smells it, observes it, tastes it, sips it and-one talks about it. — Edward VII
I don't have a drink problem. But if that was the case and doctors told me I had to stop, I'd like to think that I would be brave enough to drink myself into the grave. — Oliver Reed
Wine is the most healthful and most hygienic of beverages. — Louis Pasteur
I blew the lot on vodka and tonic, gambling and fags. Looking back, I think I overdid it on the tonic. — Stan Bowles
The older I get, the better I was. — Van Dyke Parks
I like liquor - its taste and its effects - and that is just the reason why I never drink it. — Stonewall Jackson
Are you there vodka? It's me, Chelsea. Please get me out of jail and I promise I will never drink again. Drink and drive. I will never drink and drive again. I may even start my own group fashioned after MADD, Mothers Against Drunk Driving, but I'll call it AWLTDASH, Alcoholics Who Like to Drink and Stay Home. — Chelsea Handler
My main ambition as a gardener is to water my orange trees with gin, then all I have to do is squeeze the juice into a glass. — W. C. Fields
Too much work, and no vacation, Deserves at least a small libation. So hail! my friends, and raise your glasses, Work's the curse of the drinking classes. — Oscar Wilde
My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror. — Rodney Dangerfield
When it's third and ten, you can take the milk drinkers and I'll take the whiskey drinkers every time. — Max McGee
Reality is an illusion created by a lack of alcohol. — N. F. Simpson
In Conclusion
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