Putting a little time aside for clean fun and good humor is very necessary to relieve the tensions of our time. — Hattie McDaniel
Being funny is one of my greatest strengths. I can make girls smile when they're down, and when they're having a good time, I can carry on the joke. — John Krasinski
Real comedy doesn't just make people laugh and think, but makes them laugh and change. — Sam Kinison
It is good to laugh. Laughter is spiritual relaxation. — Abdu'l-Bahá
When a thing is funny, search it carefully for a hidden truth. — George Bernard Shaw
Honest good humor is the oil and wine of a merry meeting, and there is no jovial companionship equal to that where the jokes are rather small and laughter abundant. — Washington Irving
The best humor is offered up to you by the stupidity of your opponents. — Barney Frank
I be goofy, kinda funny. Acting stupid but they love me. — Mac Miller
The funniest people are the saddest once — Confucius
I wish I had a funny story. — Leslie Easterbrook
A sense of humor is just common sense dancing. — William James
I'm a goofy girl. I like to laugh and I like to make other people laugh. — Gal Gadot
Humor was a good way to hide the pain. — Rick Riordan
I don't know. I think it's funny! I think it's funny! I go, what? It's so absurd. I'm alone. — Danny Devito
The secret to humor is surprise. — Aristotle
Top 10 Good Funny Quotes
Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are a good person is a little like expecting the bull not to attack you because you are a vegetarian. — Dennis Wholey
Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand. — Woody Allen
A good friend is a connection to life - a tie to the past, a road to the future, the key to sanity in a totally insane world. — Lois Wyse
A good speech should be like a woman's skirt: long enough to cover the subject and short enough to create interest — Winston Churchill
A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart, and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words. — Donna Roberts
Women need a reason to have sex, men just need a place. — Billy Crystal
love the life you live. live the life you love. — Bob Marley
There is a planet named Pluto, but we don't have one named Goofy. Goofy would be a good name for this planet. It certainly qualifies. — Sayings
Be willing to be a beginner every single morning. — Meister Eckhart
Good Funny Image Quotes
Graphic design will save the world right after rock and roll does. — David Carson
A recipe has no soul. You, as the cook, must bring soul to the recipe. — Thomas Keller
Too much of anything is bad, but too much good whiskey is barely enough. — Mark Twain
Good things come to those who wait. — Jess C Scott
Basketball doesn't build character it reveals it. — James Naismith
One should not attend even the end of the world without a good breakfast. — Robert A. Heinlein
Every kind of music is good, except the boring kind. — Gioachino Rossini
Computers are good at following instructions, but not at reading your mind. — Donald Knuth
I love the smell of book ink in the morning. — Umberto Eco
Man should forget his anger before he lies down to sleep. — Mahatma Gandhi
I wake up saying, I'm still alive; a miracle. And so I keep on pushing. — Jacques Yves Cousteau
The world will not be destroyed by those who do evil, but by those who watch them without doing anything.
Real Funny Quotes
There's nothing inherently dirty about sex, but if you try real hard and use your imagination you can overcome that. — Lewis Grizzard
Dogs are animals that poop in public and you're supposed to pick it up. After a week of doing this, you've got to ask yourself, "Who's the real master in this relationship?" — Anthony Griffin
To thrive in life you need three bones. A wishbone. A backbone. And a funny bone.
If the physical thing you're doing is funny, you don't have to act funny while doing it...Just be real and it will be funnier — Gene Wilder
There is nothing I would not do for those who are really my friends. I have no notion of loving people by halves, it is not my nature. — Jane Austen
Auto racing, bull fighting, and mountain climbing are the only real sports... all the others are games. — Ernest Hemingway
Persist to overcome. He that can't endure the bad, will not live to see the good.
I did. I did see Bigfoot when I was a kid and I still believe it to this day. I saw a big furry man outside my window. It's not funny! It was real. — Barry Watson
The antidote for fifty enemies is one friend. — Aristotle
Better to have loved and lost than to live with regret. — Big Pun
True friends are like diamonds – bright, beautiful, valuable, and always in style. — Nicole Richie
Super Funny Quotes
I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder. — Steven Wright
People naturally want to retweet and engage on super funny videos and memes. — Jake Paul
There's a fine line between masturbating while you look out a window, and masturbating while you're looking in a window. I'll give you a hint: one of 'em is super illegal. — Dave Attell
Isn't it funny how day by day nothing changes, but when you look back everything is different.
Condoms should be marked in 3 sizes: jumbo, colossal and super colossal, so that men do not have to go in and ask for the small. — Barbara Seaman
I like someone who has a super gentle spirit and energy. I’m really gentle, and so I like a boy who will treat me that way. — Megan Fox
It's funny, but when there are dominant teams, there are a number of people who rail about the fact that they're always seeing the Dallas Cowboys or the San Francisco 49ers or the Green Bay either in the playoffs or in the Super Bowl. — Al Michaels
Just do what works for you, because there will always be someone who thinks differently.
People think it must be fun to be a super genius, but they don't realize how hard it is to put up with all the idiots in the world. — Bill Watterson
I think it's always funny when somebody thinks you're going to do something super sexy and then you don't. — Olivia Munn
If you're OK with being clumsy, it's funny. But if you are super embarrassed, people are going to laugh at you. — Leo Howard
If the Super Bowl is really the ultimate game, why do they play it again next year? — Duane Thomas
Extremely Funny Quotes
Men Wanted for Dangerous Expedition: Low Wages for Long Hours of Arduous Labour under Brutal Conditions; Months of Continual Darkness and Extreme Cold; Great Risk to Life and Limb from Disease, Accidents and Other Hazards; Small Chance of Fame in Case of Success. — Ernest Shackleton
Hitler was a vegetarian. Just goes to show, vegetarianism, not always a good thing. Can in some extreme cases lead to genocide. — Bill Bailey
The standard four food groups are based on American agricultural lobbies. Why do we have a milk group? Because we have a National Dairy Council. Why do we have a meat group? Because we have an extremely powerful meat lobby. — Marion Nestle
Never regret a day in your life: good days give happiness, bad days give experience, worst days give lessons, and best days give memories.
Epcot Center also features pavilions built by various foreign nations, where you can experience an extremely realistic simulation of what life in these nations would be like if they consisted almost entirely of restaurants and souvenir stores. — Dave Barry
When I was a kid, I used to watch 'Laurel and Hardy' with my cousins all the time. I still think they're extremely funny and so surreal. — David Chase
I mean they [ Bradley Cooper, Zach Galifianakis] are both just really good guys and also they're both extremely funny in very unique ways. We made each other laugh an awful lot, and that goes a long way. And we also went through some hard times. I mean it was hard to make this movie [The Hangover]. — Ed Helms
Whatever is good for you soul, do that.
Optimism isnt funny unless you are laughing at the person, whereas extreme pessimism is extremely funny. Its exaggeration. — Steve Toltz
From Kelsey, I have learned among many other things the value of turning on a dime and how you can have an extremely funny and extremely poignant moment with absolutely no separation in between... and sometimes in the same moment. — David Hyde Pierce
It's funny, though, because when I first started going to races after we met, I was extremely nervous. It's like being backstage and hoping you don't trip over something or break an amp or accidentally speak into a live microphone, so I was really hesitant. — Ashley Judd
The European drivers have adapted to this circuit extremely quickly, especially Paul Radisich who's a New Zealander. — Murray Walker
Good Humor Quotes
When others kid me about being bald, I simply tell them that the way I figure it, the good Lord only gave men so many hormones, and if others want to waste theirs on growing hair, that's up to them. — John Glenn
I’m not a religious person; I would call myself an atheist. I don’t have a good story behind it, I’m just reasonable. — Anthony Jeselnik
What a newspaper needs in its news, in its headlines, and on its editorial page is terseness, humor, descriptive power, satire, originality, good literary style, clever condensation and accuracy, accuracy, accuracy. — Joseph Pulitzer
Try no to resist the changes that come in your way. Instead, let life live through you. And do not worry that your life is turning upside down. How do you know that the side you are used to is better than the one to come? How Rumi Can Change Your Life?
Practically speaking, a life that is vowed to simplicity, appropriate boldness, good humor, gratitude, unstinting work and play, and lots of walking, brings us close to the actually existing world and its wholeness. — Gary Snyder
Good planning is important. I've also regarded a sense of humor as one of the most important things on a big expedition. When you're in a difficult or dangerous situation, or when you're depressed about the chances of success, someone who can make you laugh eases the tension. — Edmund Hillary
I am content in my later years. I have kept my good humor and take neither myself nor the next person seriously. — Albert Einstein
Animals are such agreeable friends - they ask no questions, they pass no criticisms.
A good laugh overcomes more difficulties and dissipates more dark clouds than any other one thing. — Laura Ingalls Wilder
A minister of state is excusable for the harm he does when the helm of government has forced his hand in a storm; but in the calm he is guilty of all the good he does not do. — Voltaire
My dad was a complicated man. He was a huge racist, my dad, but he still tried to be a good father, you know? Like, he would tell me that Santa Claus was black - that way, when I found out he didn't exist, it wouldn't be that big a let down. — Anthony Jeselnik
I hate reality but it's still the best place to get a good steak. — Woody Allen
Cute Funny Quotes
We were together. I forget the rest. — Walt Whitman
Never love anyone who treats you like you're ordinary. — Oscar Wilde
Life is funny. Things change, people change, but you will always be you, so stay true to yourself and never sacrifice who you are for anyone. — Zayn Malik
I tried to be normal once. Worst to minutes of my life.
My sister just had a baby, a little newborn. The kid is adorable, so cute. She wouldn't let me hold him, she refuses. She says, 'No way, Anthony, I'm afraid you're gonna drop him.' I'm 32 years old. Like I'm some kind of idiot. Like I don't have a million other ways to hurt that baby. — Anthony Jeselnik
I want to rob a bank with a BB gun. "Give me all your money or I will give you a dimple! I will be rich, you will be cute. We both win." — Mitch Hedberg
A Brother may not be a Friend, but a Friend will always be a Brother. — Benjamin Franklin
There is a battle of two wolves inside us all. One is evil. It is anger, jealousy, greed, resentment, lies, inferiority and ego. The other is good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, humility, kindness, empathy and truth. The wolf that wins? The one you feed.
Careful grooming may take twenty years off a woman's age, but you can't fool a flight of stairs. — Marlene Dietrich
Happiness is like peeing in your pants. Everyone can see it, but only you can feel the warmth. — Jon Foreman
My sister taught me everything I really need to know, and she was only in sixth grade at the time. — Linda Sunshine
Being Funny Quotes
If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you. — Groucho Marx
I'm gonna kick your teeth so far down your throat you'll be able to chew your own ass out for pissin' me off. — The Undertaker
Being broke is a joke, I never found it funny / That's why I count my blessings / As much as I count my money... — Fabolous
A loving relationship is one in which the loved one is free to be himself -- to laugh with me, but never at me; to cry with me, but never because of me; to love life, to love himself, to love being loved. Such a relationship is based upon freedom and can never grow in a jealous heart — Leo Buscaglia
I consider myself a crayon... I may not be your favorite color but one day you'll need me to complete your picture. — Lauryn Hill
There is no such thing as bad whiskey. Some whiskeys just happen to be better than others. But a man shouldn't fool with booze until he's fifty; then he's a damn fool if he doesn't. — William Faulkner
Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason. — Mark Twain
If you want your wife to listen to you, then talk to another woman; she will be all ears. — Sigmund Freud
Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician. — Dorothy Parker
Life is a nacho. It can be yummy-crunchy or squishy-yucky. It just depends on how long it takes for you to start eating it. — John Updike
Cool Funny Quotes
Humor is laughing at what you haven't got when you ought to have it ... what you wish in your secret heart were not funny, but it is, and you must laugh. Humor is your own unconscious therapy. Like a welcome summer rain, humor may suddenly cleanse and cool the earth, the air, and you. — Langston Hughes
I'm not addicted to cocaine. I just like the way it smells. — Richard Pryor
Speed has never killed anyone. Suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you. — Jeremy Clarkson
Symmetry is pleasing but not as sexy. Einstein is cool but Picasso knows what I'm talking about. — Amy Poehler
You can steer yourself in any direction you choose. — Dr. Seuss
You cannot help but learn more as take the world into your hands. Take it up reverently, for it is and old piece of clay, with millions of thumbprints on it. — John Updike
Hemp is of first necessity to the wealth & protection of the country. — Thomas Jefferson
The very nature of cool is that you think about it too much and it becomes uncool. — Don Johnson
A man commented to his lunch companion: My wife had a funny dream last night. She dreamed she'd married a millionaire. You're lucky, sighed the companion. My wife dreams that in the daytime. — Sam Ewing
It's always cool on the airplane when people are watching “SVU.” It’s funny. And it’s always the reruns. — Kelli Giddish
Good Laugh Quotes
Life is a hard battle anyway. If we laugh and sing a little as we fight the good fight of freedom, it makes it all go easier. I will not allow my life's light to be determined by the darkness around me. — Sojourner Truth
If you wish to glimpse inside a human soul and get to know a man ... just watch him laugh. If he laughs well, he's a good man. — Fyodor Dostoevsky
To laugh often and love much; to win the respect of intelligent persons and the affection of children; to earn the approbation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate beauty. — Ralph Waldo Emerson
Try to learn to breathe deeply, really to taste food when you eat, and when you sleep, really to sleep. Try as much as possible to be wholly alive with all your might, and when you laugh, laugh like hell. And when you get angry, get good and angry. Try to be alive. You will be dead soon enough. — Ernest Hemingway
Life laughs at you when you are unhappy; Life smiles at you when you are happy; But life salutes you when you make other happy. — Charlie Chaplin
If it makes you laugh, if it makes you cry, if it rips out your heart, that's a good picture. — Eddie Adams
TRUE WEALTH - Worriless sleeping, Clear conscience, Reciprocal gratitude, Absence of envy, Muscle strength, Frequent laughs, No meals alone, No gym classes, Good digestive functions, No meeting rooms, Periodic surprises, Foamy coffee, Crusty bread, Ability to nap, Access to a hammock — Nassim Nicholas Taleb
A good life is when you assume nothing, do more, smile often, dream big, laugh a lot and realize how blessed you are for what you have. — Zig Ziglar
Try as much as possible to be wholly alive, with all your might, and when you laugh, laugh like hell and when you get angry, get good and angry. Try to be alive. You will be dead soon enough. — William Saroyan
Never set limits, go after your dreams, don't be afraid to push the boundaries. And laugh a lot - it's good for you! — Paula Radcliffe
Good Fun Quotes
But we are born to be happy, to be abundantly supplied with every good thing, to have fun in living, to consciously unite with the Divine Power that is around us and within us, and to grow and expand forever. — Ernest Holmes
Most of the good programmers do programming not because they expect to get paid or get adulation by the public, but because it is fun to program. — Linus Torvalds
I've done the bad-boy thing. It was fun for a good three months. But the thing about bad boys is, you have to keep in mind, you're never gonna marry a bad boy. — Ariana Grande
The test of a work of art is, in the end, our affection for it, not our ability to explain why it is good. — Stanley Kubrick
Today I will do something just for the fun of it. I will find something to do that's just for me and I won't worry about what I should be doing. I will learn how to make myself feel good and enjoy life to the fullest. — Melody Beattie
Far too many people are looking for the right person, instead of trying to be the right person. — Gloria Steinem
Do good things for others, for no reason at all. It makes life more fun. Transactional relationships are meh. — Lex Fridman
Life is a combination. Of two things, of happiness and sorrow, of good and bad, of pain and joy. Even if it is a gift for some people. And trouble for some. But it is. And that makes it fun and memorable. — Vishesh Panthi
Watermelon - it's a good fruit. You eat, you drink, you wash your face. — Enrico Caruso
I have done my fiddling so long under Vesuvius that I have almost forgotten to play, and can only wait for the eruption and think it long of coming. Literally no man has more wholly outlived life than I. And still it's good fun. — Robert Louis Stevenson
Funny Drinking Quotes
Whoever drinks beer, he is quick to sleep; whoever sleeps long, does not sin; whoever does not sin, enters Heaven! Thus, let us drink beer! — Martin Luther
The only way that I could figure they could improve upon Coca-Cola, one of life's most delightful elixirs, which studies prove will heal the sick and occasionally raise the dead, is to put bourbon in it. — Lewis Grizzard
When I sell liquor, it's bootlegging. When my patrons serve it on a silver tray on Lakeshore Drive, it's hospitality. — Al Capone
What a fine weather today! Can’t choose whether to drink tea or to hang myself. — Anton Chekhov
Give my people plenty of beer, good beer, and cheap beer, and you will have no revolution among them. — Queen Victoria
Without my morning coffee I'm just like a dried up piece of roast goat. — Johann Sebastian Bach
Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world. — Wilhelm II
We should look for someone to eat and drink with before looking for something to eat and drink. — Epicurus
A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory. — Albert Einstein
Life is a waste of time and time is a waste of life, so let's all get wasted and have the time of our lives. — Kurt Cobain
I've lost a million and a half on the horses and dice in the last two years. And the funny part is, I still like 'em, and if someone handed me another million I'd put it right in the nose
of some horse that looked good to me. — Al Capone
The trouble is not in dying for a friend, but in finding a friend worth dying for. — Mark Twain
Reefer makes darkies think they're as good as white men. — Harry J. Anslinger
The world is new to us every morning - and every man should believe he is reborn each day — Baal Shem Tov
Somedays you just have to create your own sunshine. — Drake
However good or bad you feel about your relationship, the person you are with at this moment is the "right" person, because he or she is the mirror of who you are inside. — Deepak Chopra
Good things come to those who hustle — Chuck Noll
Sleep is like the unicorn - it is rumored to exist, but I doubt I will see any — Dr. Seuss
Before marriage, a man declares that he would lay down his life to serve you; after marriage, he won't even lay down his newspaper to talk to you. — Helen Rowland
Until you have learned to be tolerant with those who do not always agree with you; until you have cultivated the habit of saying some kind word of those whom you do not admire; until you have formed the habit of looking for the good instead of the bad there is in others, you will be neither successful nor happy. — Napoleon Hill
It's more important for a photographer to have very good shoes, than to have a very good camera — Sebastiao Salgado
Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake whole relationships. — Sharon Stone
If you would be wealthy, think of saving as well as getting. — Benjamin Franklin
Rugby is a good occasion for keeping thirty bullies far from the center of the city. — Oscar Wilde
You can't do better design with a computer, but you can speed up your work enormously. — Wim Crouwel
There are two ways of waking up in the morning. One is to say, 'Good morning, God,' and the other is to say, 'Good God, morning'! — Fulton J. Sheen
In Conclusion
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