quote by Garry Shandling

I met a new girl at a barbecue, very pretty, a blond I think. I don't know, her hair was on fire, and all she talked about was herself. You know these kind of girls: 'I'm hot. I'm on fire. Me, me, me.' You know. 'Help me, put me out.' Come on, could we talk about me just a little bit?

— Garry Shandling

Unexpected Girl Talk quotations

Girl talk quote Behind every girl's favorite song there is an untold story.

Behind every girl's favorite song there is an untold story.

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So you know cats are interesting. They are kind of like girls. If they come and talk to you it's great. But if you try to talk to them it doesn't always go so well.

Only one girl has ever really wrapped my stomach into pretzels.

She didn’t give me butterflies. She gave me pterodactyls I’m talking terrible internal bruising and the first time I kissed her was like the first time I saw fireworks, which was like the sky first kissing me in the eyeballs

Girl talk quote The saddest thing for a girl to do is dumb herself down for a guy.

The saddest thing for a girl to do is dumb herself down for a guy.

If you want to know how your girl will treat you after marriage, just listen to her talking to her little brother.

Being a teenager is an amazing time and a hard time.

It's when you make your best friends - I have girls who will never leave my heart and I still talk to. You get the best and the worst as a teen. You have the best friendships and the worst heartbreaks.

Girls are losing their virginity at 15, 16.

I'm not promoting that. But my songs are talking... about me becoming a man.

Girl talk quote It is a great thing to know the season for speech and the season for silence.

It is a great thing to know the season for speech and the season for silence.

There are some girls who are turned on by my body, and some others who are turned off. but for the majority i just use it as a conversation piece. like someone walking a cheetah down 42nd street would have a natural conversation piece. then when they get to talking to me they see i am not mean but gentle to them and thats all they want to know

When I talk to girls, they go, 'I'm not a feminist.

' And I say: 'What? You don't want to vote? Do you want to be owned by your husband? Do you want your money from your job to go into his bank account? If you were raped, do you still want that to be a crime? Congratulations : you are a feminist.'

The stage is life, music, beautiful girls, legs, breasts, not talk or intellectualism or dried-up academics.

Girl talk quote Some people think I'm unhappy, but I'm not. I just appreciate silence in a world

Some people think I'm unhappy, but I'm not. I just appreciate silence in a world that never stops talking.

The young people of today think of nothing but themselves.

They have no reverence for parents or old age. They are impatient of all restraint. They talk as if they alone knew everything and what passes for wisdom with us is foolishness with them. As for girls, they are forward, immodest and unwomanly in speech, behaviour and dress.

"I can't forget things, or ignore them-bad things that happen," I said.

"I'm a lay-it-all-out person, a dwell-on-it person, an obsess-about-it person. If I hold things in and try to forget or pretend, I become a madman and have panic attacks. I have to talk.

Have you heard about the morning after pill, or what I like to call breakfast in bed. Well have you heard about how some of the girls who have taken have died a few days later? Talk about two birds, looks like I will be going to the game this weekend boys.

Girl talk quote Actions speak louder than words, but not nearly as often.

Actions speak louder than words, but not nearly as often.

I want an intelligent girl whom I can talk about everything.

I want her to be my friend, to be partners. I don't like when a girl is rough, but delicate and subtle. I like good manners and not rudeness nor arrogance.

It's absolutely fun to walk around and have people respect you.

When Michael Jackson did Thriller, I was in the park one day, and a girl came up to me and said, "Man, the only people they talk about around here are Michael Jackson and you." It was pretty flattering to be considered in the same light as the king of pop in my area.

I want a girl with extensions in her hair, Bamboo earrings, at least two pair, A Fendi bag and a bad attitude, That's all I need to get me in a good mood. She can walk with a switch and talk with street slang, I love it when a woman ain't scared to do her thing.

Girl talk quote Don't talk negatively about yourself, you may just start to believe it.

Don't talk negatively about yourself, you may just start to believe it.

I'm often asked why I travel around the country talking politics.

Is it for humanitarian reasons, community spirit, or is it for the money, the limousines or the girls? The answers are: no, no, yes yes yes!

You can tell when someone has been on steroids A guy bulks up, has a new body and never gets tired...You see these guys or girls who come onto the tour talking about their new training programs and their diets where they eat this or that new thingbut they'll never tell you about the drugs they took.

The women used the music to get their men to relate to them better: "talk to me, tell me what's on your mind." Men used the music to get the girls in the mood to make love. So either way you had it, Barry White is the one artist who actually was in your bedroom with you at your most sacred, sensuous moment of your life.

Girl talk quote Don't let someone who gave up on their dreams talk you out of yours.

Don't let someone who gave up on their dreams talk you out of yours.

People talk about this Julia Roberts almost like it's a cup of Pepsi.

People think Julia Roberts is something they created. The fact is, 26 years ago, there was this scrunched-up little pink baby named Julia Roberts. I am a girl, like anybody else.

I'm going down 2 Alphabet Street I'm gonna crown the first girl that I meet I'm gonna talk so sexy She'll want me from my head 2 my feet.

Your sweetheart calls you by another's name.

His eyes linger too long on your best friend. He talks with excitement about a girl at work. And the fire catches. Jealousy - that sickening combination of possessiveness, suspicion, rage, and humiliation - can overtake your mind and threaten your very core as you contemplate your rival.

Girl talk quote Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools because they have to say

Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools because they have to say something.

A 'very good friend' is a dangerous category with Indian girls.

From here you can either make fast progress or if you play it wrong, you can go down to the lowest category invented by the Indian women ever - rakhi brother. Rakhi brother really means 'you can talk to me, but don't even freaking think about anything else you bore'.

Italian girls are famous for being snobby and expecting men to make the first move. In America, if I don't make eye contact, the guys won't come over and talk. American girls just go for it. You men are spoiled.

A girl who pays attention is very cool.

It's really hard to pay attention to someone. I understand. I get it. I get bored a lot when I'm talking to people, but I try. So I'd like for the girl to try, too.

Girl talk quote Prayer is when you talk to god, meditation is when god talks to you.

Prayer is when you talk to god, meditation is when god talks to you.

It was always Marx, Lenin, and revolution - real girl's talk.

So when it came to role models, I looked at presidents' wives.

Of course, you're talking about a farm girl who stood in the fields, dreaming, years ago, wishing she was that kind of person. But if I had been that kind of person, do you think I could sing with the emotions I do? You sing with those emotions because you've had pain in your heart.

We say it’s a modern American Western - two gunslingers who ride into town, fight the bad guys, kiss the girl and ride out into the sunset again. And we were always talking from the very beginning that if you’re going to have cowboys, they need a trusty horse. —Eric Kripke on the decision to add the Impala

Girl talk quote All a girl really wants is for one guy to prove to her that they are not all the

All a girl really wants is for one guy to prove to her that they are not all the same.

Girls talk to each other like men talk to each other. But girls have an eye for detail.

To then be on set [of The Flash] the next day over a meta human carcass talking about stratum corneum with Barry Allen, I was, like, fan girling out a little bit. I had to calm myself down a few times. But it makes it fun, coming in as a fan.

As Ray Bradbury - a longtime contributor to Playboy - said a long time ago, a lot of people, when they're talking about the contents of the magazine, they don't see the forest. People don't see the other part of my life because they're too fascinated with the girls.

Girl talk quote I took a walk in the woods and came out taller than the trees.

I took a walk in the woods and came out taller than the trees.

I was the girl of the chain letter, the girl full of talk of coffins and keyholes, the one of the telephone bills, the wrinkled photo and the lost connections.

My mom is going to kill me for talking about sleeping with people.

But I don't want to put myself in the position where I'm in a monogamous relationship right now. I'm not dating just one person. 'Sex and the City' changed everything for me because those girls would sleep with so many people.

I love women, but I feel like you can't trust some of them.

Some of them are liars, you know? Like I was in the park and I met this girl, she was cute and she had a dog. And I went up to her, we started talking. She told me her dog's name. Then I said, 'Does he bite?' She said, 'No.' And I said, 'Oh yeah? Then how does he eat?' Liar.

Girls can be so petty and jealous. I swear they're worse than guys sometimes. Except they're all quiet about it. They sugarcoat it or else they talk behind each other's backs. It's seriously twisted.

I am almost a real girl the entire drive home.

I went to a diner. I drank hot chocolate and ate french fries. Talked to a guy for a while. Laughed a couple of times. A little like ice-skating for the first time, wobbly, but I did it.

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