A good roommate may be the single most important thing to have when one is away at school. — Barbara Dana
Everyone has this universal understanding of roommate drama. — Leighton Meester
We're sisters, we're roommates, we're all that. — Serena Williams
I have two roommates, so it's a challenge to keep the house the way I like. — Evangeline Lilly
I have the best roommates in the world! It creates a fun sense of family... and that's really important to me. Things can get so lonely without it. — Kristen Bell
I've got four roommates and they all have fur and tails. — Kate Walsh
My roommate got a pet elephant. Then it got lost. It's in the apartment somewhere. — Steven Wright
If you lived with a roommate as unstable as this economic system, you would’ve moved out or demanded that your roommate get professional help. — Richard D. Wolff
Its really hard to be roommates with people if your suitcases are much better than theirs. — J. D. Salinger
I look at my roommates who are so proud of me that it makes me proud. — Adriana Trigiani
Dogs are like kids. Cats are like roommates. — Oliver Gaspirtz
My roommate says, "I'm going to take a shower and shave. Does anyone need to use the bathroom?" It's like some weird quiz where he reveals the answer first. — Mitch Hedberg
I'm not living with you. We occupy the same cage. (Maggie) — Tennessee Williams
Last night somebody broke into my apartment and replaced everything with exact duplicates... When I pointed it out to my roommate, he said, "Do I know you? — Steven Wright
I had this roommate in college who would get up almost 2 hours before class to do hair and makeup. That's not for me. — Kim Raver
Short Roommate Quotes
I’m not the easiest person to live with. I’m kind of a slob. — Katie Holmes
Between me and my roommate, we've hit 400 Major League home runs. — Bob Uecker
I'm a typical college girl; I love to shop and gossip with my roommates about boys and whatnot. — Alicia Sacramone
I don't think I could live with anybody. I had roommates, and it's not for me. I like my space! — Ashley Benson
Me and my roommate wrote and directed a little short comedy called 'The Elevator. — Heather Morris
The other day I walked in on my roommate while I was masturbating. — Nick Thune
I used to keep my college roommate from reading my personal mail by hiding it in her textbooks. — Joan Walsh Anglund
I hear your insults and plan to silence them with my victory. — Claudia Gray
We have been roommates our entire lives. We just bought a place together. — Mary-Kate Olsen
My first college roommate greeted me with a shocked silence followed by, 'So... you're black.' — Al Roker
Roommate Image Quotes
College Roommate Quotes
I even lived on campus to get the college experience. I had five roommates and I still keep in touch with them while I'm on the road. — Tatyana Ali
I remember when I was in college, I used to watch Julia Child's cooking show during dinner and joke with my roommates about becoming a TV chef. — Martin Yan
Get your product in front of actual, living, breathing strangers. Your college roommate's approval does not mean there's market demand. — Kathryn Minshew
I like cinnamon rolls, but I don't always have time to make a pan. That's why I wish they would sell cinnamon roll incense. After all I'd rather light a stick and have my roommate wake up with false hopes. — Mitch Hedberg
I wouldn't want to be someone's roommate, that's for sure. You can't do certain things, you can't leave the bathroom door open...you can't put your feet on the couch, you can't hide stuff in the couch. — J. B. Smoove
Choosing a romantic partner isn’t just about the romance—you’re also choosing a confidant, counselor, career advisor, therapist, investor, teacher, travel buddy, roommate, best friend, and business partner. Choose wisely. — Mark Manson
I really like to put my name on everything, so my roommate doesn't steal it. It's really a throwback to that. — Jon Stewart
The best training is to read and write, no matter what. Don't live with a lover or roommate who doesn't respect your work. Don't lie, buy time, borrow to buy time. Write what will stop your breath if you don't write. — Grace Paley
I was making pancakes the other day and a fly flew into the kitchen. And that's when I realized that a spatula is a lot like a fly-swatter. And a crushed fly is a lot like a blueberry. And a roommate is a lot like a fly eater. — Demetri Martin
Last year I picked up the New York Times and there was a story about a kid from Dartmouth who was bragging that he never left his room, and made dates and ordered pizza with his computer. The piece de resistance of this story was that he had two roommates, and he was proud of the fact that he only talked to them by computer. — Studs Terkel
Some fast food places, they have that ketchup pump. It's like a keg. They give you the paper shot glass. I always like to hang around there, try and meet the ladies. "Here, I'll pump for you. You come to this Wendy's often? My roommate and I, we got a pony pump back at my dorm. Here's an extra shot " — Jim Gaffigan
From what my friends tell me, apparently some guys can be pretty intimidated by me when they find out what I do. I find it funny because I try to be modest and I don't like to talk about gymnastics unless I am asked about it. But my roommates always take on my bragging rights and tell my life story to the guys we meet, which leaves me blushing. — Alicia Sacramone
I have always felt comedy and tragedy are roommates. If you look up comedy and tragedy, you will find a very old picture of two masks. One mask is tragedy. It looks like its crying. The other mask is comedy. It looks like its laughing. Nowadays, we would say, How tasteless and insensitive. A comedy mask is laughing at a tragedy mask. — Gilbert Gottfried
The Colonel explained to me that 1. this was Alaska's room, and that 2. she had a single room because the girl who was supposed to be her roommate got kicked out at the end of last year, and that 3. Alaska had cigarettes, although the Colonel neglected to ask whether 4. I smoked, which 5. I didn't. — John Green
Having a baby is like suddenly getting the world's worst roommate, like having Janis Joplin with a bad hangover and PMS come to stay with you. — Anne Lamott
I'm surrounded by people who care about me and love me. I have a great job. I have wonderful roommates who take care of me. I have a family who adores me. — Evangeline Lilly
Every player had a roommate for out-of-town games, so I had to slip into the bathroom early each morning and secretly take my insulin injection. I feared that if the Cubs found out and I slumped badly, they would attribute it to the diabetes and send me back to the minors - or worse, release me. — Ron Santo
I'm not sure I'd classify any topics as off-limits, but I don't look for new territories to offend. There's my joke about when my roommate beat cancer. People talk about cancer survivors like they're warriors, but from where I was sitting, she was just watching television and eating soup. Like, did she go to war? No. She kind of just sat around. — Amy Schumer
I was always a fan but me and Kevin Pattero, he was a friend of mine who trained for the Olympic games in 1972 he and I became very close friends and roommates and I kind of rode his coattails into the business. — Ric Flair
While I was gone, somebody rearranged on the furniture in my bedroom. They put it in exactly the same place it was. When I told my roommate, he said: "Do I know you?" — Steven Wright
When I started Facebook from my dorm room in 2004, the idea that my roommates and I talked about all the time was a world that was more open. — Mark Zuckerberg
I've always believed that you often need less. You don't need to hear why people are friends, you don't need to hear why people are roommates, you don't need to hear why someone would help a friend to do something. — John Mulaney
I was roommates with 2 of the guys who were influential in forming the Black Arts philosophy. I called them "goons," and [Amiri] Baraka took offense at that. But if you read his autobiography, the night we went up there for a fundraiser, he talks about how he wished that some violence would happen to us. How do you like Baraka as a gracious host? — Ishmael Reed
I have a roommate, and I signed a year lease. I screwed up! That's like I wrote a joke that didn't work, but now I have to tell it for a year. — Mitch Hedberg
I have a Ph.D. in philosophy and sports science. At 14, I went through this really tough Soviet training system. A lot of my roommates got psychologically broken or physically injured. Either you came through, or you were out. I made my Ph.D. work in the field of young athletes aged 14-19 because at this age any human is changing. — Wladimir Klitschko
I'm not the easiest person to live with. I'm kind of a slob. So for me to consider a roommate, it would have to be one of my sisters or something. — Katie Holmes
In Conclusion
Which quotation resonated with you best? Did you enjoy our collection of roommate quotes? Or may be you have a slogan about roommate to suggest. Let us know using our contact form.
Citation
Feel free to cite and use any of the quotes in this collection of roommate quotations. For popular citation styles(APA, Chicago, MLA), please use this citation page.
