104 Simpson Quotes
Following is our list of simpson quotations and slogans full of insightful wisdom and perspective about funniest simpsons.
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Famous Simpson Quotes
When the American people saw the LA riots and crowds of Blacks cheering O.J. Simpson (who was acquitted by the almost all Black jury), they received a peek into their future. — David Duke
TV tends to look for the living equivalents of squeaky-clean Kens and Barbies, but with my dial I'm more like Ken's dirty old uncle. — John C. McGinley
Blondes make the best victims. They're like virgin snow that shows up the bloody footprints. — Alfred Hitchcock
This just in: Beverly Hills 90210, Cleveland Browns 3. — Colin Mochrie
Weird like Murdock, thinkin' like Hannibal, Man like Face but I'm wild like B.A. — Styles P
Snap into a Slim Jim! — Randy Savage
I wanna live like Arnold, Willis and Mr. Drummond... And keep my paper sturdy, big birds and tight herbs. — Pimp C
Remember when you're young and you think your dad is Superman? And then you grow up and realized he's just a drunk who wears a cape. — Dave Attell
Ready...set-y...spaghetti! — Dan Wells
I'm the out-of-court jester who won't settle, I up the vigilante, I'm a law unto myself but break it anyway! I made a forced landing on the Moebius Strip and now I want to know, which side are you on? — Bob Black
Scooby snack. Jurassic. Plastic. Gas. Booby Trap — Ghostface Killah
I'll be clickin' by your house about two forty-five, Sidewalk Sundae Strawberry Surprise. — Tom Waits
A black...gets a job with a white-owned company. He is the only black at the firm. He works hard, but he's fighting a losing battle against his genes. — David Duke
Back, back, back, back. Gone. — Chris Berman
When Richie Cunningham drank too many beers, his parents sat him down and explained their concerns. If you live on this earth, you find out that we are all the same. — Henry Winkler
Short Simpson Quotes
- Vampires are make-believe, like elves, gremlins, and eskimos. — Matt Groening
- You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is 'never try.' Homer Simpson — Matt Groening
- It's not whether you win or lose, it's how you place the blame. — Oscar Wilde
- First you get the sugar, then you get the power, then you get the women. — Matt Groening
- The O.J. Simpson case, they had no understanding of that DNA evidence, and didn't want to. — Joseph Wambaugh
- Homer no function beer well without. — Matt Groening
- I like my beer cold, my TV loud, and my homosexuals flaming. — Matt Groening
- I thought I had an appetite for destruction, but all I wanted was a club sandwich. — Matt Groening
- Getting out of jury duty is easy. The trick is to say you're prejudiced against all races. — Dan Castellaneta
- Oh, loneliness and cheeseburgers are a dangerous mix. — Matt Groening
Lisa Simpson Quotes
All normal people love meat. If I went to a barbeque and there was no meat, I would say 'Yo Goober! Where's the meat?'. I'm trying to impress people here Lisa. You don't win friends with salad. — Dan Castellaneta
Lisa: 'Do we have any food that wasn't brutally slaughtered?' Homer: 'Well, I think the veal died of loneliness.' — Matt Groening
Solitude never hurt anyone. Emily Dickinson lived alone, and she wrote some of the most beautiful poetry the world has ever known... then went crazy as a loon." Lisa Simpson — Matt Groening
You toyed with my heart, like it was a toy heart. (Lisa Simpson) — Matt Groening
Funniest Simpsons Quotes
Son, if you really want something in life, you have to work for it. Now quiet, they're about to announce the lottery numbers. — Matt Groening
Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals... except the weasel. — Matt Groening
When I look at the smiles on all the children's faces...I just know they're about to jab me with something. — Matt Groening
You know boys, a nuclear reactor is a lot like women. You just have to read the manual and press the right button. — Matt Groening
Guilt, remorse. It's what separates us from the animals. — Arthur Mitchell
When will I learn? The answers to life's problems aren't at the bottom of a bottle. They're on TV! — Matt Groening
I've always wondered if there was a God. And now I know there is -- and it's me. — Homer
It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I managed to fit in eight hours of TV a day. — Matt Groening
If the Bible has taught us nothing else, and it hasn't, it's that girls should stick to girls sports, such as hot oil wrestling, foxy boxing, and such and such. — Dan Castellaneta
Old people don't need companionship. They need to be isolated and studied so it can be determined what nutrients they have that might be extracted for our personal use. — Homer
Great Simpsons Quotes
America's health care system is second only to Japan, Canada, Sweden, Great Britain, well ... all of Europe. But you can thank your lucky starts we don't live in Paraguay! — Matt Groening
I’ll keep it short and sweet - Family. Religion. Friendship. These are the three demons you must slay if you wish to succeed in business. — Matt Groening
You can't handle the truth! — Jack Nicholson
Art is what separates us from the animals. — Iimani David
If you don't like your job, you don't strike! You just go in every day, and do it really half assed. That's the American way. — Homer
Revenge is good. It's what separates us from the animals and the hippies. — Christopher Titus
But you can't stop at one, you wanna drink another woman! — Homer
I'm better than dirt. Well, most kinds of dirt, not that fancy store-bought dirt... I can't compete with that stuff. — Matt Groening
How is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive? — Matt Groening
I'm normally not a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me, Superman. Homer Simpson — Matt Groening
Simmons Quotes
I heard Russell Simmons say that, 'people have million dollar dreams with a minimum wage work ethic.' Basically, everybody wanna be rich but don't nobody wanna work for it. — Yo Gotti
Where I live in Oklahoma, it's all ranchers. My friends are all cowboys and pretty rough guys. If I had a hot tub back there, I may as well have Richard Simmons come over and live with me. — Blake Shelton
When I met Steve Kaufman, I thought he was Gene Simmons, but what an artist talent he is. He will be an art force in the art world to deal with. — Roy Lichtenstein
After months of speculation, the sitcom star Ellen DeGeneres admitted that yes, she's gay. Inspired by her courage, today, diet-guru Richard Simmons admitted that he is really, really, really, really gay. — Norm MacDonald
in Divorce American style, there was the discomfort of seeing one of the beautiful wasted actresses of the screen, Jean Simmons. Her suggestions of sensibility - what she embodies - were too fine for the world of that movie. Her presence made the movie she was trapped in seem uglier. — Jean Simmons
I ended up gettin' a little Gibson amp and a bass, because of Gene Simmons of Kiss. Myself and three other kids would pretend to be Kiss - I liked Gene the best. — Jason Newsted
Andy Paley got us a show opening for his band at an outdoor show at Simmon's College, on a Friday. — Jonathan Richman
To have mentors and moguls like Russell Simmons and Chuck D pushing me forward and empowering my movement makes me all the more eager to continue pursuing my dream to make my mark on hip hop music and culture. — Lazarus of Bethany
I bought all those [fitness] videos -- Richard Simmons, Jane Fonda. I love to sit and eat cookies and watch 'em. — Dolly Parton
Gene Simmons planned on being a success the moment he launched himself out of his mother's womb. — Gene Simmons
People Writing About Simpson
| Name | Quotes | Likes |
|---|---|---|
 Matt Groening |
117 | 1030 |
 David Duke |
71 | 5337 |
 John C. McGinley |
25 | 61 |
 Alfred Hitchcock |
120 | 2222 |
 Colin Mochrie |
58 | 625 |
 Styles P |
27 | 264 |
More Simpson Quotes
O. J. has an uncanny instinct for sensing when to make the move, when to makethe cut. He can kill you with a headfake, he can kill you with the swiftness of his legsand the ability to be in a direction at any single second. He also kills you with hisvariation of speed... (on some of the ways O. J. Simpson can kill) — Howard Cosell
OJ Simpson was in a different kind of courtroom this week attempting to regain custody of his two children. In order to prove to the court how much he loves his kids, OJ pointed out quote 'Hey, they're still alive, aren't they?' — Norm MacDonald
I'm kind of a dork. I don't have much game. I'm not particularly comfortable in bars or clubs. I much prefer being home playing Scrabble, having dinner with a couple friends, going to see a movie, or losing a whole weekend to Season 14 of Law and Order or The Simpsons. — Wentworth Miller
Everything I know about pop culture I know from 'The Simpsons,' and they say the Grammys aren't very good. — Jonny Greenwood
I'm not a bad guy! I work hard, and I love my kids. So why should I spend half my Sunday hearing about how I'm going to Hell? — Dan Castellaneta
I believe that in your heart you already know something is profoundly wrong. When bartenders are responsible for drunk drivers' acts, and gunmakers are responsible for criminals' acts, and nobody is responsible for O. J. Simpson's acts, something is wrong. — Charlton Heston
I've always just loved drawing and loved cartoons. Growing up, I loved Disney films, I loved The Simpsons, and I was a big fan of the comic strip Calvin & Hobbes and the way that they would have weird fantasy and then down-to-earth funny character comedy. — Alex Hirsch
It's ironic how I drop some 'DOUGH' (Doh) when I got them Homer Simpsons. — Wale
If OJ Simpson did not have a handgun, Nicole and Ron would still be alive today. — Bob Costas
Dolly is a legend. Jessica is so beautiful. I take it as a big compliment when people put me beside them. About being compared to Dolly Parton & Jessica Simpson on the Idol red carpet. — Kellie Pickler
[on Jessica Simpson] Yeah, that girl is like crack cocaine to me. Sexually it was crazy. That's all I'll say. It was like napalm, sexual napalm. — John Mayer
The success of The Simpsons really opened doors. It showed that if you were working in animation you didn't necessarily have to be working in kids' television. — Seth MacFarlane
My standard comment is, If you don't want your kids to be like Bart Simpson, don't act like Homer Simpson. — Matt Groening
[On Sting] He threw a sucker punch. There's the sucker who threw the punch. Him the the Bart Simpson hair doo. — Bobby Heenan
I constantly watch 'The Simpsons' and an English cartoon called 'The Raccoons' and 'Gummi Bears.' I was obsessed with ninja films, and the 'Teenage Mutant Nina Turtles,' I used to love that as well. — Matt Smith
All I have to say is: Jessica Simpson is the most beautiful woman on the planet! — Jessica Simpson
Bill Cosby spoke out against The Simpsons and there was this kind of evangelical, right-wing sect that was against The Simpsons. Fox was a new network at the time, though, so they were going to take risks. — Eric Andre
More proof that trusting the Feds to protect our information is like hiring Homer Simpson to guard the donuts. — Robert X. Cringely
I make Jessica Simpson look like a rock scientist. — Tara Reid
You can't keep blaming yourself. Just blame yourself once, and move on." Homer Simpson — Matt Groening
With The Simpsons you can go back to work with a keen heart. — Joe Strummer
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