26+ Bonnie McFarlane Quotes On Education, Sam And Anthony

Bonnie McFarlane is a Canadian comedian and writer. She has appeared on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno, Late Night with Conan O'Brien, and The Late Show with David Letterman. She is also the host of the Sirius XM show Unmasked with Bonnie McFarlane. Following is our collection on famous quotes by Bonnie McFarlane on education, leadership, love.

Top 10 Bonnie McFarlane Quotes

1. When one door closes another door opens. Usually a refrigerator.
2. I've been called a racist before, and let me tell you something - that is harsh. That's a really ugly thing to call someone. That's like being called a Mexican.
3. Well I grew up in Canada in a really small town. We didn't have running water for a long time and we didn't have TV. Then when we did get TV we only had one channel.
4. You know, women are burdened with all this other crap all the time, like looking good. You need to be really superhuman to be successful as a woman.
5. I love my hunting dog. I loved my hunting dog - I'm not very good at hunting.
6. I've always wanted to be a writer. Always been very creative. I always laughed at things that the rest of my family would sort of get angry, like not understand.
7. Just a tip if you have a big event to go to or an important meeting, if you cry enough your face swells up giving you a temporary lift.
8. Intellectually, I think everyone really knows that women are funny, but it's a weird thing that people keep trotting out.
9. I guess the biggest issue my husband and I are going to have is how do we raise the baby... because he's Jewish and I'm Protestant and the baby's father is Catholic.
10. My sister might be dumb, but that doesn't make her all that different from the rest of us. She's just like any other American. Except she's Canadian. And retarded.

Bonnie McFarlane Short Quotes

• I could never be a lesbian because I have a really good sense of humor.
• If you really are superior, you don't go around saying you're superior - unless you're Jewish.
• If you enjoy shaming people, I suggest dentistry as a profession.
• There's no such thing as a feminist - just women who pay for their own breast implants.

Bonnie McFarlane Famous Quotes And Sayings

When you're pregnant, people feel like they can come up and give you unsolicited advice. When I was nine months pregnant, this one woman came up and she said, I have one word for you: epidural. And I was like, Oh my God, thanks. But we already picked a name. — Bonnie McFarlane

My sister is also retarded. Across the board. She's a one hundred per cent, honest to goodness, born that way retard. I learned a long time ago that if you're going to tell a story about your retarded sister, you need to mention she's retarded right off the bat or inevitably, at the end of the story, someone will say, What... is she, retarded? And then you have to go, Uh... yeah, she is. Followed by a lengthy, awkward silence. — Bonnie McFarlane

I think it's creepy if a guy says, I would never hit a girl. Cause that should go without saying. That's like if you ever heard a guy go, I would never crap in a hot tub. — Bonnie McFarlane

I jog, actually; I go at night. A lot of women, they don't like to go jogging alone at night. They're afraid they might get accosted. I go naked. That way, if there are any perverts around, they think I'm already being chased. — Bonnie McFarlane

When I first got into this biz called show, I decided I was going to change my name, make it more Hollywood. And you know how you do that? You take your middle name and the first street that you ever lived on. So when I first started, I actually went by Sue Rural Route 2. — Bonnie McFarlane

I don't think cops should wear mirrored sunglasses; the whole time the guy was chewing me out, all I could think was I should cut my bangs. — Bonnie McFarlane

Sometimes when I'm bored, I like to people watch. And I got to a touristy area and I play this game I just made up. I call it Lesbian or Midwestern? — Bonnie McFarlane

One of my favorite sketches, and a popular comedy formula, is to put someone with a mental handicap in some kind of unlikely situation. For example: The retarded gynecologist, the retarded Jesus, the retarded Osama Bin Laden. It works. It's funny. Inappropriate? I dunno. I feel like I'm a pretty good judge of what crosses the line of good taste being that I am retarded. Socially perhaps, but severly retarded. — Bonnie McFarlane

I saw the head of NOW - National Organization of Women - saying that women still only make 70 cents on the dollar to every man. I'm not sure I'm going to believe that. Women are notoriously bad at math. — Bonnie McFarlane

When I first started doing stand-up, I would be so nervous that I would just binge drink really heavily right before my sets, and as you can imagine, that had its drawbacks. But now I'm a professional, so I pace myself throughout the day. — Bonnie McFarlane

Cocaine is yucky. I did it once: I was at a party; I was bored. I was like, 'Alright, I'll do a line.' Then I was just bored longer. — Bonnie McFarlane

I grew up in a mixed religious household. And it was volatile. My dad's atheist, my mom's agnostic. Just constant fighting. There's no God! There might be! — Bonnie McFarlane

Life Lessons by Bonnie McFarlane

1. Bonnie McFarlane's work shows that it's possible to be successful in comedy by being yourself and staying true to your own unique style and sense of humour.
2. She also demonstrates the importance of hard work and dedication, having worked for many years to build her career and hone her craft.
3. Finally, her success shows that it's possible to make a living from comedy, even in a country like Canada with a relatively small entertainment industry.