60+ Noel Fielding Quotes On Qi, Graham Norton And Art

Noel Fielding is an English comedian, writer, actor, artist, musician and television presenter. He is best known for being a part of The Mighty Boosh comedy troupe alongside Julian Barratt, as well as his appearances on Never Mind the Buzzcocks, The Great British Bake Off and The Crystal Maze. Fielding's unique style of surreal, absurdist humour has made him a popular figure in the British comedy scene. Following is our collection on famous quotes by Noel Fielding on love, qi, graham norton.

Top 10 Noel Fielding Quotes

1. Reality depresses me. I need to find fantasy worlds and escape in them.
2. All my friends got dogs and cats for Christmas, and I got a starfish called Roy. I used to take him down to the park on a lead.
3. Imagine that, a poncho sombrero combo, I'll be off my tits on happiness.
4. When I'm 70 I might be a man in a park just wandering around, speaking in tongues with kids throwing bread at me.
5. I've had a really weird day, some joker threw bamboo in the penguin enclosure. They all vaulted out. It was a nightmare, it took me all morning to get them back in.
6. I've got it all in here ultra violets, flying saucers, strawberry bootlace come on get involved.
7. When I was 14, I saw someone getting their face and wrists slashed with a knife in a pub in Catford. Nobody lifted a finger. That's when I realised that violence wasn't funny. At all.
8. There's not enough psychedelic stuff on TV. I want the world to be a bit weirder than it is. I hate reality, so I hate reality TV. But I love Columbo.
9. Yeah? Rock 'n' Roll is fast, you know. If all goes according to plan I could be in rehab next thursday. Tuesday week I'll be living on an island with a small Indian boy.
10. My nan used to look after me in the summer holidays and she had a cat with one eye. It used to walk into walls and tables. I used to think it was hilarious. It was a slapstick cat.

Noel Fielding Short Quotes

• I don't hate Coldplay to be cool I genuinely hate Coldplay.
• Englishmen do like to get in a dress, any excuse.
• The tie's a multi purpose accessory, y'know, belt, school boy, Rambo.
• They call me the confuser. Is he a man... is he a woman? Ooh, I'm not sure if I mind.
• You must have stuck a finger up your arse at least once.
• You know the black bits in bananas? Are they tarantulas' eggs?
• Some people have a fear of being on stage. I have a fear of coming off it.
• It's impossible to be unhappy while wearing a poncho!
• I don't pick stuff up, I knock stuff down!
• I'd like to punch out a really old lady. There'd be no repercussions.

Noel Fielding Quotes About Funny

My mum and dad are both really funny. My granddad's really funny, my uncle's really funny, everyone's really funny. You have to be quick, otherwise you get roasted. Everyone takes the piss quite a lot. You have to be really sharp. — Noel Fielding

Trousers can never be too tight. You have to go through a couple of days of pain, then everything stretches out. — Noel Fielding

That's the authentic punk dance. It's like a child dizzy on lemonade. — Noel Fielding

I'm a mischievous drunk. — Noel Fielding

When you're famous you can't go to Topshop. Even when I disguise myself in a moustache, baseball cap, sunglasses - the full Madonna kit - it doesn't work: my stupid face is too big. — Noel Fielding

Goth Juice... The most powerful hairspray known to man. Made from the tears of Robert Smith. — Noel Fielding

I did work in a bakery for one day. But the boss went off and when he came back I was lying on the floor eating cakes. — Noel Fielding

Science teachers and the mentally ill, that's all Jazz is for. — Noel Fielding

Never try and go on a solo mission on your own. — Noel Fielding

You can't just go gay, its not like buying a ladder. — Noel Fielding

Noel Fielding Famous Quotes And Sayings

I visited a friend in Leicester recently. It was 4am and we all ran around in a circle, six of us. It’s the most fun I’ve had since i was seven. And I thought: it’s not about drink, or drugs, or fancy clubs. It’s about running around in your socks, changing direction in a front room in Leicester. — Noel Fielding

I'm going to name drop like an idiot now, but Bono rang me up once, right? I don't know how he got my number, but I, ever so stupidly, and obviously thought it was one of my mates mocking about. So I was like, "Yeah, whatever." And it was him, but I even went to him, "That's not even a good Irish accent!" — Noel Fielding

Things are different in the fantasy world Towels are different in the fantasy world Shows are different in the fantasy world Dancing's different in the fantasy world Unicorns No, they're the same Everything's different in the fantasy world — Noel Fielding

I think I should be in a film called 'Space Shrews'. Where I go to space. With a load of shrews. And nothing really happens. We just get out and have a lolly and then come back. But it'll be a musical the ship will be built out of my own hair. — Noel Fielding

There's something amazing about tea. It's good before a meal, after a meal, when drunk, when taking drugs, while playing football and after being called a poof in the street. — Noel Fielding

I find it depressing that people think you have to be on drugs to watch [my stuff], that’s a cop out, use your brain, use your imagination. — Noel Fielding

When you're a kid and someone's an artist, you think of Leonardo da Vinci. You don't think that's a job; you just think of a man with a beard painting the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel. — Noel Fielding

When I was a really young child, I felt like I could see fairies. I was convinced there were fairies in my grandmother's garden. — Noel Fielding

I had always drawn, every day as long as I had held a pencil, and just assumed everyone else had too…Art had saved me and helped me fit in…Art was always my saving grace…Comedy didn’t come until much later for me. I’ve always tried to combine the two things, art and comedy, and couldn’t make a choice between the two. It was always my ambition to make comedy with an art-school slant, and art that could be funny instead of po-faced. — Noel Fielding

It's very difficult once you've been on telly because people know what you do. They give you a little bit of grace but then they're harsher if you're not funny, so you have to be funny. — Noel Fielding

I don't really like jokes in a way. I mean gags are fine but I like weird moments where what you have isn't really a joke, just tiny moments. — Noel Fielding

We got everythin' we need here. We got Baileys, creamy, and, um... everythin' good. I'll get ya another Baileys — Noel Fielding

When I was three or four, I was really good at drawing and painting, and everyone used to say, "You're going to go to art college." I didn't really know what that meant. — Noel Fielding

I couldn't have invented crisps. ... I don't really want to be known as the man who invented crisps. ... I invented apples. ... I invented pandas, and caps. I invented soil. — Noel Fielding

No means yes in grasshopper language. — Noel Fielding

I could get an audience into my world and if you can do that, they'll go with you not all the way, but a lot of the way. — Noel Fielding

When I was a little kid I wanted to be Face. I thought, cos I had blond hair and he did too, that when I grew up I'd look like him. — Noel Fielding

People said, ‘You must be mad, or on drugs,’ which I found a bit disappointing. What about imagination? It reflects our time that people sooner assume you’re on drugs or mad, rather than free. — Noel Fielding

Last time you bring me pie, I cut into it, with my tiny pie cutter, and millions of birds flew out hitting me in the eyes and the temples... it was a trick pie! — Noel Fielding

I don't think I'd have done comedy if I was born eighty years ago I'd have been a lord. Shooting people that were on my land With a wig, yeah. And some crisps. — Noel Fielding

When I was a little kid I always wanted to be ginger. My best friend was ginger and he was pretty cool. — Noel Fielding

When I was 13 I told my dad I'd rather kill myself than do an ordinary job. He vaguely muttered something about how I'd need to earn a living somehow, but he's been totally behind me, forking out money he didn't really have to send me to university. Every other comedian I've met had to fight their parents to be allowed to do this but mine have been brilliant. — Noel Fielding

If you're going to be a good standup, or a successful standup, or a standup who can work for money, you have to eliminate the possibility of dying quickly. — Noel Fielding

I'd have to do unannounced gigs because your fans will laugh at everything because they know what you do already. What you really want is a neutral audience that isn't too harsh - a good comedy crowd - but that don't know necessarily what you're doing. — Noel Fielding

I always wanted to travel around and see lots of America, I'd never been to Boston, I'd never been to San Francisco even, so I'm quite excited to just go the places. — Noel Fielding

In comedy, you see yourself as a newcomer and then you realize you've been doing it for 18, 20 years, which is ridiculous. — Noel Fielding

When you start, it's not to do with the material so much. It's more to do with how you can control a crowd and make friends with an audience and sell your brand of humor. — Noel Fielding

When you're quite young, your imagination's quite free. — Noel Fielding

There was a big age difference between me and my brothers - about 10 years - so I was an only child for a long time. I used to hang out a lot on my own. I played a lot of weird games with a lot of imaginary people. I guess it's kind of roleplaying. — Noel Fielding

I never did that badly with women when I wasn't on telly, but it's a bit out of control now. Women try it on with me more than I'm comfortable with. It's strange, because I think I look like a troll wearing a woman's wig backwards. — Noel Fielding

Life Lessons by Noel Fielding

1. Noel Fielding's work demonstrates the importance of taking risks and pushing boundaries in order to create something unique and entertaining.
2. He also shows that humour can be found in the most unexpected places, and that it's important to be open-minded and creative when looking for comedic ideas.
3. Finally, Noel Fielding's work teaches us that humour can be used to bring people together, and to explore difficult topics in a light-hearted way.