What starts with F and ends with UCK? A fire truck!

— Soupy Sales

The most instructive Soupy Sales quotes that will activate your desire to change

Hey, kids! I want you to tiptoe into your parents bedrooms, look in their pockets for all the green pieces of paper with the pictures of the guys in beards, and send them to Soupy Sales at channel 5 in New York.

18

I took my wife to a baseball game. I kissed her on the strikes, and she kissed me on the balls.

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Be true to your teeth and they won't be false to you.

17

My wife can’t cook, but she sure can cream my banana!

17

One woman wrote a letter to the Federal Communications Commission complaining that I was teaching kids to steal.

14

If I had my life to live over, I’d live it over a deli.

12

Show me a giant rooster chasing a member of Parliament, and I’ll show you a chicken catch a Tory.

11

I climbed up a tree and kissed my girl between the limbs.

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