65 Airline Food Quotes

Following is our list of airline food quotations and slogans full of insightful wisdom and perspective about airline industry.

Airline Quotes

Do you know how much faster I can fix an airplane when I want to fix it than when I don't want to fix it? — Gordon Bethune

Ill book a ticket on some garbage airline. I dont wanna name an actual airline so lets make one up, lets just call it like Delta Airlines — John Mulaney

The scientific theory I like best is that the rings of Saturn are composed entirely of lost airline luggage. — Mark Russell

Western airlines cannot compete with Chinese because the latter can fly over Russia. Sanctioning large amounts of the world’s total landmass has economic costs. — Philip Pilkington

Humans are actually far more likely to get taken out by an impact event or a supervolcano than we are to get killed in a crash of a commercial airliner. — John Young

Keep costs low and spirits high, and the people of Southwest Airlines will keep LUV in the air. — Herb Kelleher

The only way to lose weight is to check it as airline baggage. — Peggy Ryan

We need to confront honestly the issue of scale... You may need a large corporation to run an airline or to manufacture cars, but you don't need a large corporation to raise a chicken or a hog. You don't need a large corporation to process local food or local timber and market it locally. — Wendell Berry

Airlines go in the long run at the competition to reason. For the passenger the competition is good, because each competitor tries to undercut the other one. — Niki Lauda

We have a strategic plan. It's called 'doing things'. — Herb Kelleher

Airline Industry Quotes

There are only two reasons to sit in the back row of an airplane: Either you have diarrhea, or you're anxious to meet people who do. — Henry A. Kissinger

There are only two emotions in a plane: boredom and terror. — Orson Welles

If the Wright brother were alive today Wilbur would have to fire Orville to reduce costs. — Herb Kelleher

The airline industry is full of bullshitters, liars and drunks. We excel at all three in Ireland. — Michael O'Leary

Failure saves lives. In the airline industry, every time a plane crashes the probability of the next crash is lowered by that. — Nassim Nicholas Taleb

A recession is when you have to tighten your belt; depression is when you have no belt to tighten. When you've lost your trousers - you're in the airline business. — Adam Thomson

It's not a testosterone-driven industry any longer. Success is making money, not in the size of the airline. — Gordon Bethune

The thing I miss about Air Force One is they don't lose my luggage. — George H. W. Bush

These days no one can make money on the goddamn airline business. The economics represent sheer hell. — C. R. Smith

Motto of the U.S. airline industry - "We're Hoping to Have a Motto Announcement in About an Hour." — Dave Barry

Airline Business Quotes

The airline business is the biggest team sport in the world. When you're all consumed with fighting among yourselves, your opponents can run over you every day. — Gordon Bethune

We’re in the Customer Service business—we just happen to provide airline transportation. — Colleen Barrett

The airline business is it is mostly run by a bunch of spineless nincompoops who actually don't want to stand up to the environmentalists and call them the lying wankers that they are. — Michael O'Leary

A lot of people came into the airline business. Most of them promptly exited, minus their money. — Robert Crandall

The airline business is fast-paced, high risk, and highly leveraged. It puts a premium on things I like to do. I think I communicate well. And I am very good at detail. I love detail. — Robert Crandall

Running an airline is like having a baby: fun to conceive, but hell to deliver. — Collett E. Woolman

I've said many times that I'd be thrilled to sell the airline to the employees and our guys said no, we'll take all the money, anyway. — Robert Crandall

There has always been a certain romanticism associated with the airline business. We must avoid its perpetuation at Eastern at all costs. — Frank Borman

I retired at twenty-nine, bought a life-time pass on American Airlines and my only goal in life was to party like a mad man and get drunk with as many people as possible. And I was happy right there. But when we started the streaming business, I knew it could be something big. — Mark Cuban

As of 1992, in fact-though the picture would have improved since then-the money that had been made since the dawn of aviation by all of this country's airline companies was zero. Absolutely zero. — Warren Buffett

More Airline Food Quotes

We need to confront honestly the issue of scale... You may need a large corporation to run an airline or to manufacture cars, but you don't need a large corporation to raise a chicken or a hog. You don't need a large corporation to process local food or local timber and market it locally. — Wendell Berry

I had arrived at the airport one hour early so that, in accordance with airline procedures, I could stand around. — Dave Barry

If the Wright brother were alive today Wilbur would have to fire Orville to reduce costs. — Herb Kelleher

A hundred years ago, it could take you the better part of a year to get from New York to California; whereas today, because of equipment problems at O'Hare, you can't get there at all. — Dave Barry

Funny, isn't it? The airlines go to all that trouble to keep you from taking a gun on board, then they just hand you a dinner roll you could kill a musk ox with. — Dave Barry

Sailboats are the slowest form of transportation on Earth with the possible exeption of airline flights that go through O'Hare. — Dave Barry

I was told to hand over my disposable lighter, to prevent, I suppose, any threat of "Do what I say or I'll light this Marlboro and you'll all die - in thirty years due to inhalation of secondhand smoke." — P. J. O'Rourke

Airline food is not intended for human consumption. It's intended as a form of in-flight entertainment, wherein the object is to guess what it is, starting with broad categories such as "mineral" and "linoleum." — Dave Barry

This book is dedicated to Wilbur and Orville Wright, without whom air sickness would still be just a dream. — Dave Barry

The Hawaiian Islands were discovered by hardy Polynesian sailors, who crossed thousands of miles of open ocean in primitive canoes, braving violent storm-tossed seas for months at a time. My family and I arrived by modern commercial aviation, which was infinitely worse. — Dave Barry

As the colonel and I sat swapping stories in the plane, a jet aircraft buzzed past our window. I asked the colonel what type of aircraft it was, and he said, "Don't worry about it, Bob. . . if you can see it, it's obsolete." — Bob Hope

England manufactures most of the world's airline food, as well as all the food you ever ate in your junior-high-school cafeteria. — Dave Barry

The quality of food is in inverse proportion to a dining room's altitude, especially atop bank and hotel buildings (airplanes are an extreme example). — Bryan Q. Miller

Look at airport security now. What started out as definite racial profiling is now where the computer picks a name. That's why you get a seven-month-old getting a pat down. [Imitates a security officer.] "Check the diapers. They're full." — Robin Williams

I convinced him his luggage had gone to that big Bermuda Triangle in the sky. — Erma Bombeck

If the security personnel do their job properly, they just might cause you to miss your plane, thereby possibly saving your life. — Dave Barry

[Airline food] is the tiniest food I've ever seen in my entire life. Any kind of meat that you get - chicken, steak, anything - has grill marks on each side, like somehow we'll actually believe there's an open-flame grill in the front of the plane. — Ellen DeGeneres

The planes are crowded and noisy and late, and everybody hates everybody. If armed terrorists had tried to hijack any of the flights I've been on lately, we passengers would have swiftly beaten them to death with those hard rolls you get with your in-flight meals. — Dave Barry

The Russians will never be able to get their missiles thought the dense protective layer of delayed flights circling over the United States in complex, puke-inducing holding patterns. — Dave Barry

The food on the plane was fit for a king. "Here, King!" — Henny Youngman

Granted, this system is insane, but we must not let sanity stand in the way of airport security. — Dave Barry

In modern America, food is abundant everywhere except aboard commercial airplanes. — Dave Barry

Motto of the U.S. airline industry - "We're Hoping to Have a Motto Announcement in About an Hour." — Dave Barry

There was nothing subtle about our landing. The pilot just pointed the nose at the ground and let her rip. — Bob Hope

Anything that is white is sweet. Anything that is brown is meat. Anything that is grey, don't eat. — Stephen Sondheim

They mention that it's a nonstop flight. Well, I must say I don't care for that sort of thing. Call me old fashioned, but I insist that my flight stop. Preferably at an airport. — George Carlin

I don't enjoy traveling in America. I don't like the food, the cars. It is not exotic enough. It all tastes a bit like airline food. — Carla Bley

You don't have to be Willy Loman about it. But, "Airline food is crazy. Hey, what's with these rent-a-cars?" or you go up and talk about how Christopher Walken wanted to know where my dog's tail went. That really happened to me. — Jay Mohr

Speaking of food, English cuisine has received a lot of unfair criticism over the years, but the truth is that it can be a very pleasant surprise to the connoisseur of severely overcooked livestock organs served in lukewarm puddles of congealed grease. England manufactures most of the world's airline food, as well as all the food you ever ate in your junior-high-school cafeteria. — Dave Barry

Modern air travel means less time spent in transit. That time is now spent in transit lounges. — P. J. O'Rourke

The captain has just turned on the fasten-seat-belt-sign. He didn't mean to, but the joint he was smoking fell in his lap, and when he jumped up, his head hit the switch. — George Carlin

Some of the best fiction writers got their start writing airline menus. — Erma Bombeck

If Charles Lindbergh, flying with no instruments other than a bologna sandwich, managed to cross the Atlantic and land safely on a runway completely covered with French people, why are today's airplanes, which are equipped with radar and computers and individualized liquor bottles, unable to cope with fog? — Dave Barry

This year, U.S. airlineswill carry a record 143 million passengers, who will be in the air for 382 million hours, during which they will be fed an estimated total of four peanuts. — Dave Barry

The more I fly, the more I'm convinced that the true wonder of modern aviation is the transformation of tasteless particles into something known as airplane food. — Bob Blumer

In Conclusion

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