God is a snooker player, that's why all the planets are turning! — Mehmet Murat Ildan
Do you think god stays in heaven because he too lives in fear of what he's created here on earth? — Steve Buscemi
God to me is love. It's the ruler of all things, whether it's with a person or with music or with your TV. I feel like it's this energy. God is energy, love is energy. — Kendrick Lamar
The pug is living proof that God has a sense of humor. — Margo Kaufman
A God in the hand is worth two in the bush. — Frederick Buechner
God Funny Image Quotes
Show me who your friends are, and I will tell you what you are. — Unknown Author
God created sex. Priests created marriage. — Voltaire
To trust God in the light is nothing, but to trust him in the dark, that is faith.
Your True Nature Is Love. There's Nothing You Can Do About It. — Byron Katie
God invented whiskey to keep the Irish from ruling the world. — Ed Mcmahon
The true God, the mighty God, is the God of ideas. — Alfred de Vigny
To thrive in life you need three bones. A wishbone. A backbone. And a funny bone.
Good Funny Quotes
Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are a good person is a little like expecting the bull not to attack you because you are a vegetarian. — Dennis Wholey
Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand. — Woody Allen
I've lost a million and a half on the horses and dice in the last two years. And the funny part is, I still like 'em, and if someone handed me another million I'd put it right in the nose
of some horse that looked good to me. — Al Capone
Isn't it funny how day by day nothing changes, but when you look back everything is different.
A good friend is a connection to life - a tie to the past, a road to the future, the key to sanity in a totally insane world. — Lois Wyse
A good speech should be like a woman's skirt: long enough to cover the subject and short enough to create interest — Winston Churchill
A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart, and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words. — Donna Roberts
Women need a reason to have sex, men just need a place. — Billy Crystal
love the life you live. live the life you love. — Bob Marley
There is a planet named Pluto, but we don't have one named Goofy. Goofy would be a good name for this planet. It certainly qualifies. — Sayings
Super Funny Quotes
I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder. — Steven Wright
People naturally want to retweet and engage on super funny videos and memes. — Jake Paul
There's a fine line between masturbating while you look out a window, and masturbating while you're looking in a window. I'll give you a hint: one of 'em is super illegal. — Dave Attell
I tried to be normal once. Worst to minutes of my life.
Condoms should be marked in 3 sizes: jumbo, colossal and super colossal, so that men do not have to go in and ask for the small. — Barbara Seaman
I like someone who has a super gentle spirit and energy. I’m really gentle, and so I like a boy who will treat me that way. — Megan Fox
It's funny, but when there are dominant teams, there are a number of people who rail about the fact that they're always seeing the Dallas Cowboys or the San Francisco 49ers or the Green Bay either in the playoffs or in the Super Bowl. — Al Michaels
God sometimes removes people from your life to protect you. Don't run after them.
People think it must be fun to be a super genius, but they don't realize how hard it is to put up with all the idiots in the world. — Bill Watterson
I think it's always funny when somebody thinks you're going to do something super sexy and then you don't. — Olivia Munn
If you're OK with being clumsy, it's funny. But if you are super embarrassed, people are going to laugh at you. — Leo Howard
If the Super Bowl is really the ultimate game, why do they play it again next year? — Duane Thomas
Don't ask God to guide your footsteps if you're not willing to move your feet.
The less Holy Spirit we have, the more cake and coffee we need to keep the church going. — Reinhard Bonnke
Let me remind you that this is God's universe, and He is doing things His way. You may think you have a better way, but you don't have a universe to rule. — J. Vernon McGee
God created war so that Americans would learn geography. — Mark Twain
I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness. — Emo Philips
If you believe in Odin and Thor, people laugh themselves to death. While it's okay to believe in a man who turned water into wine, and walked on water — Mads Mikkelsen
Cocaine is God's way of telling you you are making too much money. — Robin Williams
A person isn't considered insane if there are a number of people who believe the same way. Insanity isn't supposed to be a communicable disease. If one other person starts to believe him, or maybe two or three, then it's a religion. — Robert M. Pirsig
There are two ways of waking up in the morning. One is to say, 'Good morning, God,' and the other is to say, 'Good God, morning'! — Fulton J. Sheen
It's a funny thing, when you talk to God, you're religious, but when he talks to you, you're a psychopath. — Peter Steele
Ignore reality, there's nothing you can do about it. — Natalie Imbruglia
When a hunter is in a tree stand with high moral values and with the proper hunting ethics and richer for the experience, that hunter is 20 feet closer to God. — Fred Bear
I called my wife up on the cell phone and said baby you aint gonna believe this, i go, we just hit a deer with the airplane. and there was a silence on the other end of the line followed by.. OH MY GOD.! were you on the ground? I said nope, santa was makin one last run. — Bill Engvall
The helicopter is a fine way to travel, but it induces a view of the world that only God and CEOs share on a regular basis. — Morley Safer
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day; teach a man to fish and he will eat for a lifetime; give a man religion and he will die praying for a fish. — Benjamin Disraeli
The existence of God is not subjective. He either exists or he doesn’t. It’s not a matter of opinion. You can have your own opinions. But you can’t have your own facts. — Ricky Gervais
If God had intended us not to masturbate, He would have made our arms shorter. — George Carlin
No man can be called friendless who has God and the companionship of good books. — Elizabeth Barrett Browning
Should I be the one to play God? We're both about the same age, but we grew up in different neighborhoods. — George Burns
God speaks with authority on every subject including marriage and His advice trumps Oprah's every time. — Kirk Cameron
There are three things in my life which I really love: God, my family, and baseball. The only problem - once baseball season starts, I change the order around a bit. — Al Gallagher
Thou, O God, dost sell us all good things at the price of labor. — Leonardo da Vinci
In the past 10,000 years, humans have devised roughly 100,000 religions based on roughly 2,500 gods. So the only difference between myself and the believers is that I am skeptical of 2,500 gods whereas they are skeptical of 2,499 gods. We're only one God away from total agreement. — Michael Shermer
I can't get divorced because I'm a Catholic. Catholics don't get divorced. They stay together through anger and hatred and festering misery, just like God intended. — Lenny Clarke
You can do anything you want to do. — Estelle Getty
If absolute power corrupts absolutely, where does that leave God?? — George Deacon
But from this earth, this grave, this dust, My God shall raise me up, I trust. — Walter Raleigh
I'm a godmother, that's a great thing to be, a godmother. She calls me god for short, that's cute, I taught her that. — Ellen DeGeneres
Until God opens the next door, praise Him in the hallway. — Nicky Gumbel
God writes a lot of comedy... the trouble is, he's stuck with so many bad actors who don't know how to play funny. — Garrison Keillor
She say, Celie, tell the truth, have you ever found God in church? I never did. I just found a bunch of folks hoping for him to show. — Alice Walker
Puberty is the sickest joke God plays on us. So you're just noticing members of the sex: "Girls girls, ooo". Naturally you want to look your best, and God says "No! You will look the worst you've ever looked in your life!" — Eddie Izzard
I tend to think that cricket is the greatest thing that God ever created on earth - certainly greater than sex, although sex isn't too bad either. — Harold Pinter
Black holes result from God dividing the universe by zero. — Steven Wright
And some people say Jesus wasn't Jewish. Of COURSE he was Jewish! 30 years old, single, lives with his parents, come on! He works in his father's business, his mom thought he was God's gift, he's Jewish! Give it up! — Robin Williams
Choose a career you love and you will never have to go to work. — Denis Waitley
Man suffers only because he takes seriously what the gods made for fun. — Alan Watts
After creating the heaven, the earth, the ocean, and the entire animal kingdom, God created Adam and Eve. And the first thing He said to them was "Don't." — Bill Cosby
It’s funny how, in this journey of life, even though we may begin at different times and places, our paths cross with others so that we may share our love, compassion, observations, and hope. This is a design of God that I appreciate and cherish. — Steve Maraboli
In Conclusion
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