If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you. β Groucho Marx
I would challenge you to a battle of wits, but I see you are unarmed! β William Shakespeare
I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks? β George Carlin
In America, anyone can become president. That's the problem. β George Carlin
What a fine weather today! Canβt choose whether to drink tea or to hang myself. β Anton Chekhov
Never put off till tomorrow what you can do day after tomorrow just as well. β Mark Twain
When words are both true and kind they can change the world.
If the black box flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isnβt the whole airplane made out of that stuff? β George Carlin
Have you noticed that all the people in favor of birth control are already born? β Benny Hill
To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first, and call whatever you hit the target β Ashleigh Brilliant
Office Parties Quotes
NEPOTISM, n. Appointing your grandmother to office for the good of the party. β Ambrose Bierce
I am a former Kleagie of the Klu Klux Klan in Raleigh County and adjoining counties of the state, having been appainted to this office [by] Mr. J. L. Baskin of Arlington, Virginia, in 1942... It is necessary that the order be promoted immediately and in every state in the union. β Robert Byrd
Yes, we do defend our office as we do defend our homes. This is a constitutional right everybody has, and nothing's funny about that. The only reason they get mad at the Black Panther Party when you do it is for the simple reason that we're political. β Fred Hampton
Be gentle with yourself, you're doing the best you can.
The revolution is an amalgam of former Party functionaries, quasi- democrats, KGB officers, and black-market wheeler-dealers, who are standing in power now and have represented a dirty hybrid unseen in world history β Sayings
I refuse to be silent any longer. I refuse to be party to an illegal and immoral war against people who did nothing to deserve our aggression. My oath of office is to protect and defend America's laws and its people. By refusing unlawful orders for an illegal war, I fulfill that oath today. β Ehren Watada
I love Christmas. Frosty the Snowman, peace on Earth and mangers, Salvation Army bell ringers and reindeer, the movie 'Meet Me in St. Louis,' office parties and cookies. β Mo Rocca
Because in the end, you won't remember the time you spent working in the office of mowing your lawn. Climb that goddamn mountain.
The very essence of a free government consists in considering offices as public trusts, bestowed for the good of the country, and not for the benefit of an individual or a party. β John C. Calhoun
Were parties here divided merely by a greediness for office,...to take a part with either would be unworthy of a reasonable or moral man. β Thomas Jefferson
You moon the wrong person at an office party and suddenly you're not 'professional' any more. β Jeff Foxworthy
He (Gorton) is not fit to hold the great office of Prime Minister. β Malcolm Fraser
More Office Politics Quotes
I ran for the presidency, despite hopeless odds, to demonstrate the sheer will and refusal to accept the status quo. β Shirley Chisholm
I will say, then, that I am not, nor ever have been, in favor of bringing about in any way the social and political equality of the white and black races: that I am not, nor ever have been, in favor of making voters or jurors of negroes, nor of qualifying them to hold office, nor to intermarry with white people. β Abraham Lincoln
If democracy is ever to be threatened, it will not be by revolutionary groups burning government offices and occupying the broadcasting and newspaper offices of the world. It will come from disenchantment, cynicism and despair caused by the realisation that the New World Order means we are all to be managed and not represented. β Tony Benn
Treat everyone with politeness and kindness, not because they are nice, but because you are.
The Revolution won't happen with guns, rather it will happen incrementally, year by year, generation by generation. We will gradually infiltrate their educational institutions and their political offices, transforming them slowly into Marxist entities as we move towards universal egalitarianism. β Max Horkheimer
In selecting men for office, let principle be your guide. Regard not the particular sect or denomination of the candidate-look to his character. β Noah Webster
We need more of the Office Desk and less of the Show Window in politics. Let men in office substitute the midnight oil for the limelight. β Calvin Coolidge
Be the person your dog thinks you are.
The United States brags about its political system, but the President says one thing during the election, something else when he takes office, something else at midterm and something else when he leaves. β Deng Xiaoping
To get your name well enough known that you can run for a public office, some people do it by being great lawyers or philanthropists or business people or work their way up the political ladder. I happened to become known from a different route. β John Glenn
He therefore is the truest friend to the liberty of his country who tries most to promote its virtue, and who, so far as his power and influence extend, will not suffer a man to be chosen into any office of power and trust who is not a wise and virtuous man. β Samuel Adams
Every time I fill a vacant office, I make ten malcontents and one ingrate. β Louis XIV
Yes, we do defend our office as we do defend our homes. This is a constitutional right everybody has, and nothing's funny about that. The only reason they get mad at the Black Panther Party when you do it is for the simple reason that we're political. β Fred Hampton
In Texas, we do not hold high expectations for the [governor's] office; it's mostly been occupied by crooks, dorks and the comatose. β Molly Ivins
I was very proud, on just my second day in office, to appoint a gender-balanced cabinet - one of only three in the developed world. β Nicola Sturgeon
I didn't run for student council president. I don't see myself in any way in elected office. I love policy. I'm not particularly fond of politics. β Condoleezza Rice
So what is government?... Very simply, it is an agency of coercion. Of course, there are other agencies of coercion - such as the Mafia. So to be more precise, government is the agency of coercion that has flags in front of its offices. β Harry Browne
The executive branch of this government never has, nor will suffer, while I preside, any improper conduct of its officers to escape with impunity. β George Washington
Once you run for office, you're in it - sort of like going into the military. You'd better be damned sure it is what you want to do and that the rest of your life is set up to accommodate that. It takes a certain toll on your personality and on your family life. I've seen it personally. β John F. Kennedy Jr.
I leave to others the sublime delights of riding in the storm, better pleased with sound sleep & a warmer berth below it encircled, with the society of neighbors, friends & fellow laborers of the earth rather than with spies & sycophants ... I have no ambition to govern men. It is a painful and thankless office. β Thomas Jefferson
The truth is, that, even with the most secure tenure of office, during good behavior, the danger is not, that the judges will be too firm in resisting public opinion, and in defence of private rights or public liberties; but, that they will be ready to yield themselves to the passions, and politics, and prejudices of the day. β Joseph Story
It was a perfectly beautiful night, as fall nights are in Washington. I walked out of the president's Oval Office, and as I walked out, I thought I might never live to see another Saturday night. β Robert McNamara
Politics is a jungle-torn between doing the right thing and staying in office. β John F. Kennedy
The only thing that stops a bad guy with a gun is a good guy with a gun. I call on Congress today to act immediately, to appropriate whatever is necessary to put armed police officers in every school - and to do it now, to make sure that blanket of safety is in place when our children return to school in January. β Sayings
The challenge is to lend conviction even to the voices which advocate views I find personally abhorrent, whether they are political Islamists or officers justifying a coup. β Orhan Pamuk
Yes, religion and politics do mix. America is a nation based on biblical principles. Christian values dominate our government. The test of those values is the Bible. Politicians who do not use the bible to guide their public and private lives do not belong in office. β Beverly LaHaye
I am not in favor of making voters or jurors of Negroes, nor of qualifying them to hold office. β Abraham Lincoln
As president, Clinton sold burial plots in Arlington Cemetery and liberals shrugged it off. What really gets their goat is the autopen. Evidently, the important thing was that every one of those pardons Clinton sold for cash on his last day in office was signed by Bill Clinton personally. β Ann Coulter
The more subsidized it is, the less free it is. What is known as 'free education' is the least free of all, for it is a state-owned institution; it is socialized education - just like socialized medicine or the socialized post office - and cannot possibly be separated from political control. β Frank Chodorov
Were parties here divided merely by a greediness for office,...to take a part with either would be unworthy of a reasonable or moral man. β Thomas Jefferson
My kind of loyalty was loyalty to one's country, not to its institutions or its office-holders. β Mark Twain
I think there ought to be a strict separation or wall built between our religious faith and our practice of political authority in office. I don't think the President of the United States should extoll Christianity if he happens to be a Christian at the expense of Judaism, Islam or other faiths. β Jimmy Carter
Germany and Turkey are two countries that need each other. As political leaders we will leave our offices one day, but our people will remain and have to get along with each other. So we shouldnΒt give them negative messages. β Recep Tayyip Erdogan
I apprehend... that the total abandonment of the principle of rotation in the offices of President and Senator will end in abuse. β Thomas Jefferson
If the voters really understood what we were up to they'd vote us out of office. β Robert Byrd
Mr. Trump is unfit for our nation's highest office. β James David Vance
I hope that young people will also look to politics as a vehicle to not only have their voices heard, but actually to be the change makers that they want to see. They are disaffected, understandably, but I hope that young people will not only turn out to vote but also run for office. β Chelsea Clinton
The government consists of a gang of men exactly like you and me. They have, taking one with another, no special talent for the business of government; they have only a talent for getting and holding office. β H. L. Mencken
Running for office is the least aerobic of the socially interactive sports. β Carrie Fisher
Consul - in American politics, a person who having failed to secure an office from the people is given one by the Administration on condition that he leave the country. β Ambrose Bierce
Citizenship in the 21st century requires more than paying your taxes and voting and occasionally running for office. That even if you're never in political office, you have political responsibilities. You can make your society stronger and better. β William J. Clinton
Look at the number of cop shows and lawyer shows and forensics shows... I think there could be room for two quite different examinations of the same political office. β Sayings
No one since the Garden of Eden - which the serpent forsook in order to run for higher office - has imputed to politicians great purity of motive. β William F. Buckley, Jr.
Politics can be very mean and dirty. The things politicians say about each other, and what activists say, I had a brief glimpse of that for a couple of days. If I ever had any questions about whether I wanted to run for office, I now know the answer - I don't. β Matt Hasselbeck
We live in a selectively infantilized culture where twentysomethings are children if they're serving in the Third Infantry Division in Ramadi but grown-ups making rational choices if they drop to the broadloom in President Clinton's Oval Office. β Mark Steyn
Public office is the last refuge of the scoundrel. β Boies Penrose
It was my fortune, or misfortune, to be called to the office of Chief Executive without any previous political training. β Ulysses S. Grant
In Conclusion
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