quote by Matt Groening

Son, if you really want something in life, you have to work for it. Now quiet, they're about to announce the lottery numbers.

— Matt Groening

Relaxing Simpson quotations

O. J. has an uncanny instinct for sensing when to make the move, when to makethe cut. He can kill you with a headfake, he can kill you with the swiftness of his legsand the ability to be in a direction at any single second. He also kills you with hisvariation of speed... (on some of the ways O. J. Simpson can kill)

Vampires are make-believe, like elves, gremlins, and eskimos.

OJ Simpson was in a different kind of courtroom this week attempting to regain custody of his two children. In order to prove to the court how much he loves his kids, OJ pointed out quote 'Hey, they're still alive, aren't they?'

America's health care system is second only to Japan, Canada, Sweden, Great Britain, well ... all of Europe. But you can thank your lucky starts we don't live in Paraguay!


I’ll keep it short and sweet - Family.

Religion. Friendship. These are the three demons you must slay if you wish to succeed in business.

You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is 'never try.' Homer Simpson

It's not whether you win or lose, it's how you place the blame.

I'm kind of a dork. I don't have much game. I'm not particularly comfortable in bars or clubs. I much prefer being home playing Scrabble, having dinner with a couple friends, going to see a movie, or losing a whole weekend to Season 14 of Law and Order or The Simpsons.

Weaseling out of things is important to learn.

It's what separates us from the animals... except the weasel.


When the American people saw the LA riots and crowds of Blacks cheering O.

J. Simpson (who was acquitted by the almost all Black jury), they received a peek into their future.

When I look at the smiles on all the children's faces.

..I just know they're about to jab me with something.

First you get the sugar, then you get the power, then you get the women.

You know boys, a nuclear reactor is a lot like women.

You just have to read the manual and press the right button.

The O.J. Simpson case, they had no understanding of that DNA evidence, and didn't want to.


Everything I know about pop culture I know from 'The Simpsons,' and they say the Grammys aren't very good.

Homer no function beer well without.

I'm not a bad guy! I work hard, and I love my kids.

So why should I spend half my Sunday hearing about how I'm going to Hell?

I believe that in your heart you already know something is profoundly wrong.

When bartenders are responsible for drunk drivers' acts, and gunmakers are responsible for criminals' acts, and nobody is responsible for O. J. Simpson's acts, something is wrong.

I thought I had an appetite for destruction, but all I wanted was a club sandwich.


Getting out of jury duty is easy. The trick is to say you're prejudiced against all races.

I've always just loved drawing and loved cartoons.

Growing up, I loved Disney films, I loved The Simpsons, and I was a big fan of the comic strip Calvin & Hobbes and the way that they would have weird fantasy and then down-to-earth funny character comedy.

I like my beer cold, my TV loud, and my homosexuals flaming.

Oh, loneliness and cheeseburgers are a dangerous mix.

Guilt, remorse. It's what separates us from the animals.


When will I learn? The answers to life's problems aren't at the bottom of a bottle. They're on TV!

It's ironic how I drop some 'DOUGH' (Doh) when I got them Homer Simpsons.

If OJ Simpson did not have a handgun, Nicole and Ron would still be alive today.

I've always wondered if there was a God. And now I know there is -- and it's me.

You can't handle the truth!


Dolly is a legend. Jessica is so beautiful. I take it as a big compliment when people put me beside them. About being compared to Dolly Parton & Jessica Simpson on the Idol red carpet.

[on Jessica Simpson] Yeah, that girl is like crack cocaine to me.

Sexually it was crazy. That's all I'll say. It was like napalm, sexual napalm.

The success of The Simpsons really opened doors.

It showed that if you were working in animation you didn't necessarily have to be working in kids' television.

My standard comment is, If you don't want your kids to be like Bart Simpson, don't act like Homer Simpson.

It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I managed to fit in eight hours of TV a day.

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