Whoever drinks beer, he is quick to sleep; whoever sleeps long, does not sin; whoever does not sin, enters Heaven! Thus, let us drink beer!— Martin Luther
Powerful short funny quotes that are about sister funny
As I hurtled through space, one thought kept crossing my mind - every part of this rocket was supplied by the lowest bidder.
Instead of past, present and future, I'd prefer chocolate, vanilla, and strawberry.
Good, Better, Best. Never let it rest. Until your Good is Better, and your Better is your Best.
Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.
I came from a big family. As a matter of fact, I never got to sleep alone until I was married.
Destiny may ride with us today, but there is no reason for it to interfere with lunch.
Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are a good person is a little like expecting the bull not to attack you because you are a vegetarian.
When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep.
Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.
Caramels are only a fad. Chocolate is a permanent thing.
We’re all a little weird. And life is a little weird. And when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall into mutually satisfying weirdness — and call it love — true love.
Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
We were together. I forget the rest.
If you are not your own doctor, you are a fool.
The less Holy Spirit we have, the more cake and coffee we need to keep the church going.
A little nonsense now and then is relished by the wisest men.
This was said by gene wilder ... what does it mean ?
There's nothing inherently dirty about sex, but if you try real hard and use your imagination you can overcome that.
People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.
If exposure of body is modernism, then animals are more modern than humans.
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.
I came here to chew bubble gum and kick ass. And I'm all out of bubble gum.
The duty of a patriot is to protect his country from its government.
If life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade.
And try to find somebody who's life gives them vodka, and have a party.
If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.
I've noticed that everyone who is for abortion has already been born.
Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes.
After that who cares?... He's a mile away and you've got his shoes!
Funny People - Funny People is a 2009 American comedy-drama film written, co-produced and directed by Judd Apatow. It stars Adam Sandler, Seth Rogen, Leslie Mann, Eric
Inherently funny word - are funny. Casey Stengel, that's a funny name. Robert Taylor is not funny. Cupcake is funny. Tomato is not funny. Cookie is funny. Cucumber is funny. Car
Not Funny - "Not Funny" is the ninth episode in the twentieth season of the American animated television series South Park. The 276th episode of the series overall
Funny Lady - Funny Lady is a 1975 American biographical musical comedy-drama film directed by Herbert Ross and starring Barbra Streisand, James Caan, Omar Sharif,
Funny Girl (film) - Funny Girl is a 1968 American biographical musical comedy-drama film directed by William Wyler. The screenplay by Isobel Lennart was adapted from her
Funny or Die - Funny or Die is a comedy video website and film/television production company founded by Will Ferrell, Adam McKay, Mark Kvamme, and Chris Henchy. The
Kinda Funny - Kinda Funny channel features comedy videos such as Kinda Funny: The Animated Series, as well as Kinda Funny's flagship podcast 'The Kinda Funny Podcast'
Funny Games - Funny Games may refer to: Funny Games (1997 film), an Austrian horror film Funny Games (2007 film), a shot-for-shot remake of the 1997 film by the same
Funny Girl - Funny Girl may refer to: Funny Girl (musical), 1964 Broadway musical with music by Jule Styne, lyrics by Bob Merrill and which starred Barbra Streisand
Act your age, not your shoe size.
The suspense is terrible. I hope it'll last.
We look up for inspiration, down for desperation, right and left for information.
The simple act of opening a bottle of wine has brought more happiness to the human race than all the collective governments in the history of earth
The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese
The only way that I could figure they could improve upon Coca-Cola, one of life's most delightful elixirs, which studies prove will heal the sick and occasionally raise the dead, is to put bourbon in it.
I've lost a million and a half on the horses and dice in the last two years.
And the funny part is, I still like 'em, and if someone handed me another million I'd put it right in the nose of some horse that looked good to me.
I'm gonna kick your teeth so far down your throat you'll be able to chew your own ass out for pissin' me off.
Invention, my dear friends, is 93% perspiration, 6% electricity, 4% evaporation, and 2% butterscotch ripple