People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.— A. A. Milne
Cheering famous witty quotes that are about funny witty
Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes.
After that who cares?... He's a mile away and you've got his shoes!
I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?
The duty of a patriot is to protect his country from its government.
I would challenge you to a battle of wits, but I see you are unarmed!
Parrots make great pets. They have more personality than goldfish
If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
If you want your children to listen, try talking softly - to someone else.
Penicillin cures, but wine makes people happy.
In America, anyone can become president. That's the problem.
I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way.
So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
If the black box flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn’t the whole airplane made out of that stuff?
Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.
The naked truth is always better than the best-dressed lie.
Don't be a hard rock when you really are a gem!
People who live in an age of corruption are witty and slanderous;
they know that there are other kinds of murder than by dagger or assault; they also know that whatever is well said is believed.
If you're too open-minded; your brains will fall out.
God created sex. Priests created marriage.
Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.
My heart's in the right place. I know, 'cuz I hid it there.
If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
I think men talk to women so they can sleep with them and women sleep with men so they can talk to them.
Enjoy when you can, and endure when you must.
For women, the best aphrodisiacs are words.
The G-spot is in the ears. He who looks for it below there is wasting his time.
[He] may talk like an idiot, and look like an idiot, but don't let that fool you: he really is an idiot.
C makes it easy to shoot yourself in the foot;
C++ makes it harder, but when you do it blows your whole leg off.
Witty - Witty may refer to: Witty (surname), list of people with the name Witty (computer worm) Witty (software), a Twitter client Witty, Missouri, a community
Chris Witty - Christine Diane "Chris" Witty (born June 23, 1975) is an American speed skater and racing cyclist and participated in the Olympic Games in both sports
Priscilla Barnes - in the March 1976 issue of Penthouse magazine under the pseudonym Joann Witty. Penthouse later wanted to republish the photos under Barnes' real name
Arthur Witty - Arthur Witty Cotton, also known as Don Arturo, was a footballer, club president and businessman. Witty played for FC Barcelona in the first Copa del Rey
Will Witty - William Peter Witty (born 24 February 1995) is an English rugby union player for Exeter Chiefs in Premiership Rugby. Witty made his Premiership debut for
John Witty - John Witty (1915–1990) was a British film and television actor. Witty's distinguished voice appeared extensively on various series and documentary short
Ernest Witty - Ernest Witty Cotton was an Anglo-Spanish footballer, tennis player and businessman. In 1899 Witty, a Spanish national tennis champion, became a founding
Witty (surname) - Witty is a surname. Notable people with the name include: Andrew Witty (born 1964), English chief executive officer and university chancellor Arthur Witty
Wikipedia - encyclopedia is relatively lighthearted, focusing on articles which are both witty and informative. Subsequent collaborative knowledge websites have drawn
Blessed are the cracked, for they shall let in the light.
Mankind will never see an end of trouble until lovers of wisdom come to hold political power, or the holders of power become lovers of wisdom
When you go to work, if your name is on the building, you're rich.
If your name is on your desk, you're middle class. And if your name is on your shirt, you're poor.
I often warn people: "Somewhere along the way, someone is going to tell you, 'There is no "I" in team.' What you should tell them is, 'Maybe not. But there is an "I" in independence, individuality and integrity.
No one party can fool all of the people all of the time; that's why we have two parties
Sorry, I'm allergic to bullshit.
Human history becomes more and more a race between education and catastrophe.
Is 'fat' really the worst thing a human being can be? Is 'fat' worse than 'vindictive', 'jealous', 'shallow', 'vain', 'boring' or 'cruel'? Not to me.
Be pretty if you can, be witty if you must, but be gracious if it kills you.