Never ask your wife if she still hears from her old pimp. — Johnny Carson
Try praising your wife, even if it does frighten her at first. — Billy Sunday
I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender. — Rodney Dangerfield
You touch me, I will report you to God. You touch my wife, I will deal with you personally. — Enoch Adeboye
If you are wise, look after your house; love your wife without alloy. — Egyptian Proverbs
I told my wife a man is like wine, he gets better with age. She locked me in the cellar. — Rodney Dangerfield
The consumer isn't a moron; she is your wife. — David Ogilvy
Let me tell you clearly if you get a wife through the Facebook, you would lose her through the Youtube. — Enoch Adeboye
Ladies and gentlemen, you can't please everyone. Take my girlfriend - I think she's the most remarkable woman in the world. . . . That's me . . . But to my wife . . . — Jackie Mason
Choose your wife as you wish your children to be. — Proverbs
A good wife and health is a mans best wealth. — Proverbs
I want my wife to wake me up with a sweet kiss — Lee Donghae
The man who says his wife can't take a joke forgets that she took him. — Unknown
Don't forget to tell your favorite people that you love them. — Shirley Temple
The man who says his wife can't take a joke, forgets that she took him. — Oscar Wilde
The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself. — Voltaire
To succeed with the opposite sex, tell her you're impotent. She can't wait to disprove it. — Cary Grant
If I was your wife Sir, I'd poison you! Madam, if you were my wife, I'd let you! — Winston Churchill
Tell someone you love them and mean it. — Jon Jones
Man's best possession is a sympathetic wife. — Euripides
Tell Your Wife Image Quotes
Your mind will always believe everything you tell it. Feed it hope. Feed it truth. Feed it with love.
Love Your Wife Quotes
The Greatest Happiness is to scatter your enemy and drive him before you. To see his cities reduced to ashes. To see those who love him shrouded and in tears. And to gather to your bosom his wives and daughters. — Genghis Khan
Marriage is like a bank account. You put it in, you take it out, you lose interest. — Irwin Corey
Husbands, love your wives well! Your children are noticing how you treat her. You are teaching your sons how they should treat women, and you are teaching your daughters what they should expect from men. — Dave Willis
Tact is the ability to tell someone to go to hell in such a way that they look forwad for the trip.
Spread love everywhere you go; first of all in your house. Give love to your children, to your wife or husband, to a next door neighbor. Let no one ever come to you without leaving better and happier. — Mother Teresa
From the poetry of Lord Byron they drew a system of ethics compounded of misanthropy and voluptuousness,-a system in which the two great commandments were to hate your neighbour and to love your neighbour's wife. — Thomas B. Macaulay
At the beginning, your love supports your marriage. Later on, your marriage supports your love. — Larry Christiansen
If you have a bad thought about yourself, tell it to go to hell because that is exactly where it came from.
As a husband, your love for your wife has a specific goal: her holiness. — Winston Smith
Love's about finding the one person who makes your heart complete. Who makes you a better person than you ever dreamed you could be. Its about looking in the eyes of your wife and knowing all the way to your bones that she's simply the best person you've ever known. — Julia Quinn
Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There's no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere. — Groucho Marx
Every mother hopes that her daughter will marry a better man than she did, and is convinced that her son will never find a wife as good as his father did. — Martin Andersen Nexø
Love My Wife Quotes
My attachment to my wedding ring is a powerful symbol of the infinite love that I have for my wife and children. — Gad Saad
As for his secret to staying married: "My wife tells me that if I ever
decide to leave, she is coming with me." — Jon Bon Jovi
I want to say a little something that's long overdue, the disrespect to women has got to be through. To all the mothers and the sisters and the wives and friends, I wanna offer my love and respect till the end. — Adam Yauch
You must tell yourself "No matter how hard it is, or how hard it gets, I'm going to make it".
I find myself enjoying a deeper love than I ever imagined was possible in the form of my daughter and certainly in the union with my wife. It makes everything else, including work, which is one of the things I'm most passionate about, pale by comparison. — Benjamin Bratt
I love Japanese and Thai food, especially seafood, and eat out with my wife two or three times a week. — Pierre Dukan
There was a time when I thought I loved my first wife more than life itself. But now I hate her guts. I do. How do you explain that? What happened to that love? What happened to it, is what I'd like to know. I wish someone could tell me. — Raymond Carver
No matter what people tell you, words and ideas can change the world.
I live by my own rules (reviewed, revised, and approved by my wife).. but still my own. — Si Robertson
I call upon my God to judge me, he knows that I love my friends and above all others my wife and children, the, oppinion of the world to contrary notwithstanding. — Stand Watie
My health is wonderful. I work out. I'm working. Playing music. I have a beautiful wife, a nice home, a nice car, I got money in the bank. I got three beautiful dogs that love me. Like I said, I'm blessed. I survived. — Steven Adler
My Wife Quotes
I like writing books. I'd rather be at home with my wife. I can write, take a break, come out, have a glass of tea, give my wife a kiss, and go back in and write some more. It's not so bad. I am really lucky. — Gene Wilder
I was a queen, and you took away my crown; a wife, and you killed my husband; a mother, and you deprived me of my children. My blood alone remains: take it, but do not make me suffer long. — Marie Antoinette
I think my friends wife has been banging a black guy. Because they just had a baby. And the baby had a hole in it. — Anthony Jeselnik
The best teachers are those who show you where to look, but don't tell you what to see.
My wife actually got worried about my drinking so much regular milk, you know, so she got me into rice milk and now soy milk, which I greatly enjoy. A soy mocha's a fine thing. — Willie Nelson
I write funny. If I can make my wife laugh, I know I'm on the right track. But yes, I don't like to get Maudlin. And I have a tendency towards it. — Gene Wilder
I have taken a wife, I have sold my sovereignty for a dowry.
[Lat., Uxorem accepi, dote imperium vendidi.] — Plautus
Tell a lie once and all your truths become questionable.
Johns Hopkins introduced me to two defining events in my life: commitment to biomedical research and meeting my future wife, Mary. — Peter Agre
Someone stole all my credit cards, but I won't be reporting it. The thief spends less than my wife did — Henny Youngman
I dragged my wife from our honeymoon in Africa and landed her in Ontario, Canada, when it was -40 degrees. — Ryan Reynolds
A good football coach needs a patient wife, a loyal dog and a great quarterback - but not necessarily in that order. — Bud Grant
The fact that in Mohammedan law every woman must belong to some man as his absolute property - either as a child, a wife, or a concubine - must delay the final extinction of slavery until the faith of Islam has ceased to be a great power among men. — Winston Churchill
Wherever you find a great man, you will find a great mother or a great wife standing behind him -- or so they used to say. It would be interesting to know how many great women have had great fathers and husbands behind them. — Dorothy L. Sayers
Travel and tell no one, live a true love story and tell no one, live happily and tell no one, people ruin beautiful things.
Next time I go to a movie and see a picture of a little ordinary girl become a great star… I’ll believe it. And whenever I hear my wife read fairy tales to my little boy, I’ll listen. I know now that dreams do come true. — Jackie Robinson
I was given such a great gift. It's a miracle that never stops amazing me and reminding me to give thanks, every day. Having a wife and daughter gives me a lot more purpose. I was much more selfish before, but now I think about what kind of role model I'll be. I just want to be a better man. — Jake Owen
Yeah, Dundee was great. It was a great film. I fell in love with my Mexican wife on Dundee. — Sam Peckinpah
What I always wanna tell young people now: Pay attention. This isn't gonna happen again.
She got a mud pack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off — Red Skelton
We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops. — Henny Youngman
It is sometimes essential for a husband and a wife to quarrel - they get to know each other better. — Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
I discover that some of the Eastern papers represent me as a great blasphemer, because I said, in my lecture on Marriage, at our last Conference, that Jesus Christ was married at Cana of Galilee, that Mary, Martha, and others were his wives, and that he begat children. — Orson Pratt
If you start praising your wife, if you start telling her how beautiful she is, and how glad you are to have her in your life, when you talk about the good, you will draw out the good. If you talk about the negative, you'll draw out the negative. It's up to you. — Joel Osteen
Never tell. Not if you love your wife...In fact, if your old lady walks in on you deny it. Yeah. Just flat out and she'll believe it: "I'm tellin' ya. This chick came downstairs with a sign around her neck 'Lay On Top Of Me Or I'll Die.' " I didn't know what I was goin' to do. — Lenny Bruce
The god of Islam tells his people, "Beat your wife. Go kill infidels. Go Kill Christians and Jews." This is in the Koran; it has been for 1400 years. Their god tells them to kill everybody who doesn't believe in the god of the Koran. — Mosab Hassan Yousef
Men, learn to speak blessings over your wife and you will see that woman rise to a new level. She will respond to your praise and encouragement. Your words don't have to be poetic, fancy, or profound. Tell her simply but sincerely, "You're a great mother to our children. And you are a great wife to me. I'm so glad I can always count on you." — Joel Osteen
Never tell your wife she's bad in bed. She'll go out and get a second opinion. — Rodney Dangerfield
A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat. A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday. A friend will tell you she saw your old boyfriend -- and he's a priest. — Erma Bombeck
Husband, when you tell your wife to go for counseling alone (because you think going to see a counselor is a sign you have failed) is like having a car you love overheat and deciding it's not manly to take it to the mechanic. You can keep on driving it but eventually you will ruin the engine. — Adam Hamilton
If you're married, and you have a wife, and you really love your wife, is it good enough to only say to your wife 'I love her' the day you get married? Or should you tell her every single day when you wake up and every opportunity? And that's how I feel about my relationship with Jesus Christ is that it is the most important thing in my life. — Tim Tebow
How can you tell your wife you are just popping out to play a match and then not come back for five days? — Rafael Benitez
You tell yourself that noise is what defines silence. Without noise, silence would not be golden. Noise is the exception. Think of deep outer space, the incredible cold and quiet where your wife and kid wait. Silence, not heaven, would be reward enough. — Chuck Palahniuk
Never write an advertisement which you wouldn't want your family to read. You wouldn't tell lies to your own wife. Don't tell them to mine. — David Ogilvy
If I came in to recruit your son, I would tell you, your wife, and your son, that I will be the most demanding coach your son can play for. — Bobby Knight
I don't want to just mess with your head. I want to mess with your life.... I want you to miss appointments, burn dinner, skip your homework. I want you to tell your wife to take that moonlight stroll on the beach at Waikiki with the resort tennis pro while you read a few more chapters. — Stephen King
Says one brother to another, 'Joseph says all covenants are done away, and none are binding but the new covenants; now suppose Joseph should come and say he wanted your wife, what would you say to that? I would tell him to go to hell.' This was the spirit of many in the early days of this Church. — Jedediah M. Grant
Don't solicit feedback on your product, idea or your business just for validation purposes. You want to tell the people who can help move your idea forward, but if you're just looking to your friend, co-worker, husband or wife for validation, be careful. It can stop a lot of multimillion-dollar ideas in their tracks in the beginning. — Sara Blakely
Don't go running off at the mouth. Let the picture tell the story. No one tunes in to hear you broadcast the game, except maybe your mother or your wife. — Marty Glickman
Your most vital necessity in this life is that you shall love your wife completely and implicitly and in an entire nakedness of body and spirit.... this that I tell you is my message as far as I've got any. — D. H. Lawrence
Let me tell you something, my wife died for Tuesdays ago. Cancer of the colon. We were married forty-one years. Now you stop feeling sorry for yourself and lose some of that pork of yours. Pretty girl like you - you don't want to do this yourself. — Wally Lamb
What was the question? ...Oh. Where do I get my crazy ideas? Answer: sleep-fairy, walk-fairy, shower-fairy. Book-fairy. And in these last few years, from my wife. Now when I have questions I ask her and she tells me the answer. If you haven't already, I'd suggest you want to find your soulmate, as soon as you can. Next question? — Richard Bach
Never write an advertisement which you wouldn't want your own family to read. You wouldn't tell lies to your own wife. Don't tell them to mine. Do as you would be done by. If you tell lies about a product, you will be found out -- either by the Government, which will prosecute you, or by the consumer, who will punish you by not buying your product a second time. Good products can be sold by honest advertising. If you don't think the product is good, you have no business to be advertising it. — David Ogilvy
Tell your wife often how terrific she looks. — H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
My husband will tell you one of the most frequent questions he gets from world leaders is, 'How's your wife's garden?' — Michelle Obama
If I walk in the house, and I greet my wife, and I give her a hug, kiss her on the cheek, and I say to her, "Honey, how'd your day go," and I listed to how her day went. If I say, "Is there anything I can do to help you," and she tells me, "Honey, if you could peel the potatoes," or whatever, I have influenced my wife in a very positive way. — Gary Chapman
I think there's definitely a way to tell a story, to also look at marriages that are working, but find drama from what's challenging them. That's what I think, certainly, 'Parenthood' is kind of about: the unexpected things that come up in your life that challenge you as a man, as a woman, as a husband and a wife, and as a parent. — Jason Katims
People are worried that their inner voice will tell them to leave their husbands or wives - or their jobs. Well, if that's really what your inner guidance is saying, then that is for your highest good and for your spouse's or partner's. There is a plan for everyone. — Echo Bodine
Tell your girlfriend or wife you love them everyday. Like I do! — Godfrey
Great soul of Gandhi, cover your ears. You will not want to hear this! Listen, you inbred piece of Ku Klux Krap! You white people love to be racist, but the only races you can tell apart are Indianapolis and Daytona. I hope I am reincarnated as toothpaste, so I never have to see you again. Now take your twelve-pack of wife-beating juice and get the park out of my store! — Carlos Mencia
If anyone tells me I'm fat, I say, - That's because every time I make love to your wife, she gives me a biscuit — Clement Freud
Politics is not really different from marriage. You cannot get things done in your relationship if you tell your wife: Look, if you haven't made the bed and if you don't get the food on the table, I will go and just hire someone and you will become irrelevant. That is not how you make a marriage work. — Arnold Schwarzenegger
It's all right to tell a wife the brutal truth, but you've got to go sort of easy with your lady-love. — Zoe Akins
Here is your government at work. A congressman from Colorado said he wants to draft a rule that would make it unethical to have a sexual relationship with an intern. Only Congress would need a rule to tell them cheating on their wives is not ethical. Don't we have that rule? I believe it's called the Sixth Commandment. — Jay Leno
Prince William's pregnant wife, Kate Middleton, is past her due date. Doctors may have to induce labor. To speed up the birth, doctors have been telling the baby, 'Come on out. You will never have to work a day in your life.' — Conan O'Brien
I'm always like, 'I can't believe I sound like my mother.' I remember running out of the house telling, 'Put your shoes on or you're going to get sick!' That's an old wives' tale, but it's like some weird mind control that I would be like that. — Eileen Davidson
Before you went to work this morning in the city, did you spend some time with your family? Did you kiss your wife and tell her that she's pretty? — Mac Davis
Then just live in coexistence. Live the way all poor husbands are living. Show to the world that your wife is so surrendered to you...who is preventing? You just have to tell a lie and there is no mess - and surrender to the powerful and beautiful woman. But remember, the moment a man surrenders to a woman he loses dignity in her eyes. She starts looking here and there for someone who has the guts not to surrender. — Osho
Humor is falling downstairs if you do it in the act of telling your wife not to. — Fougasse
If anyone has it rough at Guantanamo, it is the guards. They are constantly harassed and threatened by some of these terrorists. Prisoners tell guards, we know where your families are. We know where your wife is, your children, and we are going to kill them. — Robin Hayes
The jewelry stores say, 'Tell your wife you love her with a diamond,' while wives tell you they love you with, 'Ok, but just because it's Valentine's Day.' — George Lopez
Do you check it when you travel, do you check it when you're just at home? They'd be able to tell something called your 'pattern of life.' When are you doing these kind of activities? When do you wake up? When do you go to sleep? What other phones are around you when you wake up and go to sleep? Are you with someone who's not your wife? — Edward Snowden
We’re all good when it suits us, he used to say: that doesn’t count. It’s when you want so badly to do something wrong—when you’re about to make a fortune from a dishonest deal, or kiss the lovely lips of your neighbor’s wife, or tell a lie to get yourself out of terrible trouble—that’s when you need the rules. Your integrity is like a sword, he would say: you shouldn’t wave it until you’re about to put it to the test. — Ken Follett
I'll cab it home." "Naw. I'll hang until you're through. Then I'll drag you back to your apartment. Watch you throw up for an hour. Push you into bed. Before I leave I'll get the coffee machine set up. Aspirin will be right next to the sugar bowl." "I don't have a sugar bowl." "So it'll be next to the bag." Butch smiled. "You'd have made a great wife, Jose." "That's what mine tells me. — J.R. Ward
But your book is wrong, Mrs. Strunk, says George, when it tells you that Jim is the substitute I found for a real son, a real kid brother, a real husband, a real wife. Jim wasn't a substitute for anything. And there is no substitute for Jim, if you'll forgive my saying so, anywhere. — Christopher Isherwood
Never show anger at slight,Tell nothing.Earn Respect from everyone by deeds,not Words.Respect the members of your Blood Family.Gambling was Recreation,Not a way to earn a Living.Love your Father,your Mother, your Sister but beware of Loving any other Woman than your Wife.And a Wife was a woman who bore your Children.And once that happened to You,your Life was Forfeit to give them their daily bread — Mario Puzo
I shall not tell your husband and you shall not tell my wife." Tell them what?" That you and I were outwitted by a ropma." That would be shamful." Girl, we could never live it down. — Donita K. Paul
In Conclusion
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