For marriage to be a success, every woman and every man should have her and his own bathroom. The end. — Catherine Zeta-Jones
The main part of the house is a deep red and I have butterscotch carpet. And I have a bathroom with leopard skin floor, wallpaper and toilet. — Macy Gray
My roommate says, "I'm going to take a shower and shave. Does anyone need to use the bathroom?" It's like some weird quiz where he reveals the answer first. — Mitch Hedberg
In my experience, if you have to keep the lavatory door shut by extending your left leg, it's modern architecture. — Nancy Banks-Smith
In my experience, if you have to keep the lavatory door shut by extending your left leg, it's modern architecture. — Nancy BanksSmith
If you can see the handwriting on the wall... you're on the toilet. — Redd Foxx
A kitchen is a good place to be, almost always the best place in the house. — Michael Ruhlman
people run from rain but sit in bathtubs full of water. — Charles Bukowski
I think more and more people want to live alone. You can be a couple without being in each other's pockets. I don't see why you have to share the same bathroom. — Jeanne Moreau
You might be a redneck if going to the bathroom involves shoes and a flashlight. — Jeff Foxworthy
I am sitting in the smallest room of my house. I have your review before me. In a moment it shall be behind me. — Max Reger
Beer is not a good cocktail-party drink, especially in a home where you don't know where the bathroom is. — Billy Carter
We never had a bathtub. Mom would bathe me in the wooden or tin washtub in the kitchen, or in a big lard can. — Ethel Waters
Spain travel tip: If bathroom genders are indicated by flamingos, the boy flamingo is the one with a hat. I learned this the hard way. — Dave Barry
My studio is designed for atmosphere. I have a really cozy, comfortable room that has a great, huge glass door that views my backyard. — Geddy Lee
Short Bathroom Quotes
I grew up with six brothers. That's how I learned to dance - waiting for the bathroom. — Bob Hope
The paperless society is about as
plausible as the paperless bathroom. — Jesse Shera
My honeymoon night was spent on the floor in the bathroom with my mother. — Ronnie Spector
Always go to the bathroom when you have a chance. — King George V
Always go to the bathroom when you have a chance. — George V
I couldn't even go to the bathroom alone. My mother or a social worker always went with me. — Natalie Wood
Honey, there's a spider in your bathroom the size of a Buick. — Woody Allen
Castro couldn't even go to the bathroom unless the Soviet Union put the nickel in the toilet. — Richard M. Nixon
Hollywood is like Picasso's bathroom. — Candice Bergen
I actually called a touchdown on national TV in the NFL while going to the bathroom. — Joe Buck
Bathroom Wall Quotes
Sometimes the beauty is easy. Sometimes you don't have to try at all. Sometimes you can hear the wind blow in a handshake. Sometimes there's poetry written right on the bathroom wall. — Ani DiFranco
I dunno when I started writing really. I was, like, filling out applications and stuff real early. Last name first, first name last, sex. 'occasionally' , stuff like that. Then I was writing letters, filling out forms, writing on bathroom walls. — Tom Waits
I learned my "facts of life" on toilet walls. I'd walk up in school bathrooms and there would be crude drawings and figures engaged in sex. That's how I learned. — Liam Neeson
A novel is a piece of architecture. It's not random wallowings or confessional diaries. It's a building-it has to have walls and floors and the bathrooms have to work. — John Irving
I want you. Bad. Right now. Against the wall. On my bed. The floor and maybe in the bathroom later. I have a shower stall and a Jacuzzi we could put to really good use. I know you'd like it. — J. Lynn
It was a weird sensation. Like getting caught eavesdropping, or lying, or sitting on the toilet and having the bathroom walls suddenly drop away. — Janet Evanovich
Bedroom Quotes
Mother says there are locked rooms inside all women, kitchen of love, bedroom of grief, bathroom of apathy. Sometimes, the men, they come with keys, and sometimes the men, they come with hammers. — Warsan Shire
The state has no business in the bedrooms of the nation. — Pierre Trudeau
Let unexpected incidents roll off you like raindrops dancing down your bedroom window. — Mod Sun
I read that nine out of 10 women fantasize about having an unknown man leap through their bedroom window at night and make mad, passionate love to them. Who would think with those odds, I would now be facing 150 hours of community service. — Emo Philips
You don't need a Harvard MBA to know that the bedroom and the boardroom are just two sides of the same ballgame. — Stephen Fry
Taxing people for having a spare bedroom and forcing them into rent arrears or the possibility of losing homes they have lived in for years has always been a cruel and heartless measure, and so it is good that the Scottish Parliament has been able to step in. — Nicola Sturgeon
For sure, all over Poland, kids had my picture of a lemur on their bedroom wall - but the chances are they may never get to see a real lemur in Madagascar. I thought this was great and it really meant a lot to me. — Nigel Dennis
A good DJ is always looking at the crowd, seeing what they’re like, seeing whether it’s working; communicating with them. Smiling at them. And a bad DJ is always looking down at what they’re doing all the time and just doing their thing that they practiced in their bedroom — Fatboy Slim
I never really had a celebrity crush when I was little. I know some of my friends have posters up on their bedroom wall; I was never really about that. — Sadie Sink
Employers should not be able to impose their religious beliefs on female employees, ignoring their individual health decisions and denying their right to reproductive care. Bosses belong in the boardroom, not in the bedroom. — Dina Titus
Restroom Quotes
I propose a limitation be put on how many squares of toilet paper can be used in any one sitting. — Sheryl Crow
For the speedy reader paragraphs become a country the eye flies over looking for landmarks, reference points, airports, restrooms, passages of sex. — William H. Gass
I went to the entrance to the restroom, where the hallway did a sharp bend so nobody could peek into the girls' pee-palace. — Lilith Saintcrow
Humour is often linked to shared experience. Like, a guy gets up and says, "Have you noticed public restrooms have really inefficient hand-dryers?" Oh my God, yes I have, hahaha, really
good point, they should... fix that. It's good to know that somebody finally gets me! — Bo Burnham
One time I went into a restroom and a girl followed me in. I signed an autograph for her in the sink. It was pretty funny because she was in a guy's restroom and she wasn't embarrassed at all. — Zac Efron
Fame lost its appeal for me when I went into a public restroom and an autograph seeker handed me a pen and paper under the stall door. — Marlo Thomas
With boys you always know where you stand. Right in the path of a hurricane. It's all there. The fruit flies hovering over their waste can, the hamster trying to escape to cleaner air, the bedrooms decorated in Early Bus Station Restroom. — Erma Bombeck
You might be a redneck if your classes at school were cancelled because the path to the restroom was flooded. — Jeff Foxworthy
You know, I'm going to start thanking the woman who cleans the restroom in the building I work in. I'm going to start thinking of her as a human being. — Hillary Clinton
Try being my size and going into a public restroom. — Billy Barty
Lavatory Quotes
Mark my words, when a society has to resort to the lavatory for its humour, the writing is on the wall. — Alan Bennett
I've been lucky enough to win an Oscar, write a best-seller - my other dream would be to have a painting in the Louvre. The only way that's going to happen is if I paint a dirty one on the wall of the gentlemen's lavatory. — David Niven
When you get to my age life seems little more than one long march to and from the lavatory. — John Mortimer
The ultimate aim of psychoanalysis is to attribute art to mental weakness, and then to trace the weakness back to the point where, according to analytic dogma, it originated namely, the lavatory. — Karl Kraus
I don't like rats, but there's not much else I don't like. The problem with rats is they have no fear of human beings, they're loaded with foul diseases, they would run the place given half the chance, and I've had them leap out of a lavatory while I've been sitting on it. — David Attenborough
I have seen things few of my countrymen have. The first time I went on an aeroplane I couldn't work out how the lavatories worked up in the sky. — Haile Gebrselassie
Being English, I always laugh at anything to do with the lavatory or bottoms. — Elizabeth Hurley
I boast of being the only man in London who has been bombed off a lavatory seat while reading Jane Austen. She went into the bath; I went through the door. — Kingsley Martin
Everything at a NASCAR event carries a corporate logo except the lavatory stalls. — Brock Yates
It's funny, in literature no one ever goes to the lavatory. — Sayings
I don't want to abolish government. I simply want to reduce it to the size where I can drag it into the bathroom and drown it in the bathtub. — Grover Norquist
I wouldn't want to be someone's roommate, that's for sure. You can't do certain things, you can't leave the bathroom door open...you can't put your feet on the couch, you can't hide stuff in the couch. — J. B. Smoove
All that chatter you hear from yuppie parents at the playground about how expensive it is to 'do' bathrooms? It's all true. Every word, and worse. — Tucker Carlson
I tell ya, I knew my morning wasn't going right. When I put on my shirt the button fell off, when I picked up my briefcase, the handle fell off, I tell ya, I was afraid to go to the bathroom. — Rodney Dangerfield
in the mornin' po-lice at my door
Fresh adidas squeak across the bathroom floor
Out the back window.. I make a escape
Don't even get a chance to grab my old school tape — Ice T
The motion picture made in Hollywood, if it is to create art at all, must do so within such strangling limitations of subject and treatment that it is a blind wonder it ever achieves any distinction beyond the purely mechanical slickness of a glass and chromium bathroom. — Raymond Chandler
People never sing...except in the bathroom. Birthing women also make their natural sounds next to running bath water. There is something about the power of water. People are drawn to water, spas, and sacred streams. Women in labor are drawn to water, too. — Michel Odent
Homeschooling will certainly produce some socially awkward adults, but the odds are good they would have been just as quirky had they spent twelve years raising their hand for permission to go to the bathroom. — Quinn Cummings
When I was six years old I sprinkled sugar on my head, convinced myself it was pixie dust, wished myself invisible, and walked into the boys' bathroom at school. — Janet Evanovich
I wanna get rich enough in life that I can afford to release a dozen doves every time I walk into a room. You know people would be like, 'Did you see that guy come out of the bathroom? The one with doves, it was beautiful.' — Daniel Tosh
The woman in labor must have NO STRESS placed upon her. She must be free to move about, walk, rock, go to the bathroom by herself, lie on her side or back, squat or kneel, or anything she finds comfortable, without fear of being scolded or embarrassed. Nor is there any need for her to be either "quiet" or "good." — Grantly Dick-Read
I get really nervous if pigeons are flying around before shows. I can't stand them after one once flew in through my bathroom window and went for me while I was having a wee. That was enough. I think pigeons target me. — Niall Horan
How about we get rid of separate bathrooms for boys and girls? Gays and straights share the bathroom with zero issues. We need to put an end to the sexist pooping policies of yesterday. The only way to achieve gender equality is to start crapping in front of each other. — Daniel Tosh
To ward off a feeling of failure, she joked that she could wallpaper her bathroom with rejection slips, which she chose not to see as messages to stop, but rather as tickets to the game. — Anita Shreve
You can't go to the bathroom alone... you might not come back. Cause no girl's ever been to the bathroom alone and survived. It's true. The last woman that attempted it, it was 1937 and her name was Amelia Earhart. — Iliza Shlesinger
It is easier for me to take ten good pictures in an airplane bathroom than in the gardens at Versailles. — Sally Mann
You have a different relationship to your own personal material than you do to other people's. When you go to the bathroom, you're not horrified and shocked. But if you walked in and found someone one else had just been, you probably would be. Your own relationship to these things is slightly different. — Marc Quinn
I moved into the garage at my mom's house, she wouldn't let me into the house, and the garage didn't have any running water. It did have electricity though, but it didn't have any running water, no bathroom. But, you know, it was great for me because I had my books there. — Luis J. Rodriguez
My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. — Erma Bombeck
In the 1998 Oscars, I found myself in the bathroom in a stall, next to Tom Selleck. So I leaned over and I said ‘looks like we’re a couple of peeing Toms.’ His angry silence is something I’ll never forget. — Tom Hanks
My bathroom is filled with hair and makeup stuff and I play with it all the time. What the real lesson is, is that you can own your own sense of beauty. It doesn't have to be something you get from somewhere else. — Tracee Ellis Ross
The umpire... is like the geyser in the bathroom; we cannot do without it, yet we notice it only when it is out of order. — Neville Cardus
Sisters annoy, interfere, criticize. Indulge in monumental sulks, in huffs, in snide remarks. Borrow. Break. Monopolize the bathroom. Are always underfoot. But if catastrophe should strike, sisters are there. Defending you against all comers. — Pam Brown
Poems come from ordinary experiences and objects, I think. Out of memory - a dress I lent my daughter on her way back to college; a newspaper photograph of war; a breast self-exam; the tooth fairy; Calvinist parents who beat up their children; a gesture of love; seeing oneself naked over age 50 in a set of bright hotel bathroom mirrors. — Sharon Olds
The best measure of a man's honesty isn't his income tax return. It's the zero adjust on his bathroom scale. — Arthur C. Clarke
Readers, on the other hand, have at least 7.5 books going all the time. Actually, the number of books a reader takes on is usually directly related to the number of bathrooms he has in his home and office. I am working on a survey that will show that, over a lifetime, readers are in bathrooms seven years and three months longer than nonreaders. — Calvin Miller
Sometimes that is why you might even stay in the bathroom for even half an hour, making that water running all over, just singing. — Dennis Brown
You have the power to pause stuff and you have the power to go to the bathroom. You can do whatever you want in your own home. It's a much more relaxed thing. It's more like a book, it seems to me. That's kind of the way I watch movies. — David Fincher
Among the reasons marriages fail, sex ranks no higher than fourth, behind money, having only one bathroom, and an inability to communicate, reasons one, two and three. — Bette Davis
Usability is not everything. If usability engineers designed a nightclub, it would be clean, quiet, brightly lit, with lots of places to sit down, plenty of bartenders, menus written in 18-point sans-serif, and easy-to-find bathrooms. But nobody would be there. They would all be down the street at Coyote Ugly pouring beer on each other. — Joel Spolsky
In Conclusion
Which quotation resonated with you best? Did you enjoy our collection of bathroom quotes? Or may be you have a slogan about bathroom to suggest. Let us know using our contact form.
Citation
Feel free to cite and use any of the quotes in this collection of bathroom quotations. For popular citation styles(APA, Chicago, MLA), please use this citation page.