85 Funny Sleep Quotes

Following is our list of funny sleep quotations and slogans full of insightful wisdom and perspective about love sleep.

One quote. Every morning. Free.

Join readers who start their day with a powerful quote + 3 sentences of context. Delivered to your inbox by Veselin from Quotlr.

No spam. Unsubscribe any time.

Quick Jump To

Good Night Sleep Quotes

Six hours' sleep for a man, seven for a woman, and eight for a fool. - Napoleon Bonaparte

Six hours' sleep for a man, seven for a woman, and eight for a fool. β€” Napoleon Bonaparte

Only those who are asleep make no mistakes. - Ingvar Kamprad

Only those who are asleep make no mistakes. β€” Ingvar Kamprad

When I am traveling in a carriage, or walking after a good meal, or during the night when I cannot sleep; it is on such occasions that ideas flow best and most abundantly. β€” Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart

Funny sleep quote Sleep doesn't help if it's your soul that's tired.
Sleep doesn't help if it's your soul that's tired.

When I am...traveling in a carriage, or walking after a good meal, or during the night when I cannot sleep; it is on such occasions that ideas flow best and most abundantly. β€” Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart

Sleep is like the unicorn - it is rumored to exist, but I doubt I will see any β€” Dr. Seuss

Happiness, it seems to me, consists of two things: first, in being where you belong, and second -- and best -- in comfortably going through everyday life, that is, having had a good night's sleep and not being hurt by new shoes. β€” Theodor Fontane

Man should forget his anger before he lies down to sleep. - Mahatma Gandhi

Man should forget his anger before he lies down to sleep. β€” Mahatma Gandhi

Even if I ain’t the famous-est, the richest, the best – as long as I know I kept it real and didn’t backstab nobody – I sleep good at night. β€” 21 Savage

A good night of sleep depends on a good day of wakefulness, including exercise, sensible eating, minimal alcohol, stress management, and setting boundaries. β€” Peter Attia

The Alexander Technique helped a long-standing back problem and to get a good night's sleep after many years of tossing and turning. β€” Paul Newman

Love Sleep Quotes

By night, Love, tie your heart to mine, and the two together in their sleep will defeat the darkness β€” Pablo Neruda

Come sleep with me: We won't make Love,Love will make us. β€” Julio Cortazar

The Mexican...is familiar with death. [He] jokes about it, caresses it, sleeps with it, celebrates it. It is one of his favorite toys and his most steadfast love. β€” Octavio Paz

Funny sleep quote To thrive in life you need three bones. A wishbone. A backbone. And a funny bone.
To thrive in life you need three bones. A wishbone. A backbone. And a funny bone.

Sleep late, have fun, get wild, drink whisky and drive fast on empty streets with nothing in mind but falling in love and not getting arrested. β€” Hunter S. Thompson

I love sleep. My life has the tendency to fall apart when I'm awake, you know? - Ernest Hemingway

I love sleep. My life has the tendency to fall apart when I'm awake, you know? β€” Ernest Hemingway

One cannot think well, love well, sleep well, if one has not dined well. - Virginia Woolf

One cannot think well, love well, sleep well, if one has not dined well. β€” Virginia Woolf

Funny sleep quote Isn't it funny how day by day nothing changes, but when you look back everything is different.
Isn't it funny how day by day nothing changes, but when you look back everything is different.

I think men talk to women so they can sleep with them and women sleep with men so they can talk to them. β€” Jay McInerney

I'd love to hold a koala. They sleep 22 hours a day, eat eucalyptus leaves and just hang out. I want to spend some time with that guy β€” Milo

Love your country. Your country is the land where your parents sleep, where is spoken that language in which the chosen of your heart, blushing, whispered the first word of love; it is the home that God has given you that by striving to perfect yourselves therein you may prepare to ascend to him. β€” Giuseppe Mazzini

While sleeping in a hammock, with the touch of a warm wind we remember why we are in love with the life! β€” Mehmet Murat Ildan

Sleep And Dream Quotes

God sleeps in the rock, dreams in the plant, stirs in the animal, and awakens in man. β€” Ibn Arabi

Study while others are sleeping; work while others are loafing; prepare while others are playing; and dream while others are wishing. β€” William Arthur Ward

The sea will grant each man new hope, and sleep will bring dreams of home. β€” Larry Ferguson

Funny sleep quote I tried to be normal once. Worst to minutes of my life.
I tried to be normal once. Worst to minutes of my life.

The witness of the three states of consciousness [waking, dream and deep sleep] and of the nature of Existence-Consciousness-Bliss is the Self β€” Adi Shankara

Dream is not that which you see while sleeping it is something that does not let you sleep. β€” Abdul Kalam

The greatest achievement was at first and for a time a dream. The oak sleeps in the acorn, the bird waits in the egg, and in the highest vision of the soul a waking angel stirs. Dreams are the seedlings of realities. β€” James Allen

Funny sleep quote A tiger doesn't lose sleep over the opinion of sheep.
A tiger doesn't lose sleep over the opinion of sheep.

I’ve dreamed a lot. I’m tired now from dreaming but not tired of dreaming. No one tires of dreaming, because to dream is to forget, and forgetting does not weigh on us, it is a dreamless sleep throughout which we remain awake. In dreams I have achieved everything. β€” Fernando Pessoa

Now I believe that lovers should be draped in flowers and laid entwined together on a bed of clover and left there to sleep, left there to dream of their happiness. β€” Conor Oberst

To die, to sleep - To sleep, perchance to dream - ay, there's the rub, For in this sleep of death what dreams may come. β€” William Shakespeare

Every Morning You Have Two Choices: Continue To Sleep With Your Dreams, Or Wake Up and Chase Them. β€” Carmelo Anthony

Going To Sleep Quotes

Give me the patience for the small things of life, courage for the great trials of life. Help me to do my best each day and then go to sleep knowing God is awake. β€” Voltaire

The breeze at dawn has secrets to tell you. Don't go back to sleep. - Rumi

The breeze at dawn has secrets to tell you. Don't go back to sleep. β€” Rumi

I've gone seventy-nine hours without sleep, creating. When that flow is going, it's almost like a high. You don't want it to stop. You don't want to go to sleep for fear of missing something. β€” Dr. Dre

Funny sleep quote It's hard to sleep when your heart is at war with your mind.
It's hard to sleep when your heart is at war with your mind.

Never go to sleep without a request to your subconscious. β€” Thomas A. Edison

Your subconscious never sleeps. It is always on the job. It controls all your vital functions. Forgive yourself and every one else before you go to sleep, and healing will take place much more rapidly. β€” Joseph Murphy

But I have promises to keep, and miles to go before I sleep, and miles to go before I sleep. β€” Robert Frost

Funny sleep quote Dream... but don't sleep.
Dream... but don't sleep.

When I wake up, I immediately pray. When I go to sleep, I pray. Honestly, a prayer every second, in every breath. I suggest the whole world to do it. Prayer is amazing. β€” DJ Khaled

Do not sleep under a roof. Carry no money or food. Go alone to places frightening to the common brand of men. Become a criminal of purpose. Be put in jail, and extricate yourself by your own wisdom. β€” Miyamoto Musashi

Let's go to Brunch. What a great idea! Why would you want to sleep in on a Sunday when you can go pay $18 for eggs? Now, you're thinking. β€” Bill Burr

Organized force alone enables the quiet and the weak to go about their business and to sleep securely in their beds, safe from the violent without or within. β€” Alfred Thayer Mahan

More Funny Sleep Quotes

Whoever drinks beer, he is quick to sleep; whoever sleeps long, does not sin; whoever does not sin, enters Heaven! Thus, let us drink beer! β€” Martin Luther

I came from a big family. As a matter of fact, I never got to sleep alone until I was married. β€” Lewis Grizzard

When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car. β€” Will Rogers

Funny sleep quote Every morning you pick between two choices: Continue to slee
Every morning you pick between two choices: Continue to sleep with your dreams, or wake up and chase them. Good morning.

Why don't you say "What?" if you like to sleep with your own sister. β€” The Undertaker

When I'm not in a relationship, I shave one leg. That way, when I sleep, it feels like I'm with a woman. β€” Garry Shandling

I think men talk to women so they can sleep with them and women sleep with men so they can talk to them. β€” Jay McInerney

Sleep is like the unicorn - it is rumored to exist, but I doubt I will see any β€” Dr. Seuss

It's tough to get out of bed to do roadwork at 5 am when you've been sleeping in silk pajamas β€” Marvin Hagler

He is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog. You are his life, his love, his leader. He will be yours, faithful and true, to the last beat of his heart. You owe it to him to be worthy of such devotion. Our dogs will love and admire the meanest of us, and feed our colossal vanity with their uncritical homage. β€” Agnes Repplier

Sleep 'til you're hungry, eat 'til you're sleepy. β€” Niall Horan

Drink, sir, is a great provoker of three things . . . nose-painting, sleep, and urine. Lechery, sir, it provokes, and unprovokes; it provokes the desire, but it takes away the performance. β€” William Shakespeare

Everyone should have kids. They are the greatest joy in the world. But they are also terrorists. You'll realize this as soon as they are born and they start using sleep deprivation to break you. β€” Ray Romano

Every Morning You Have Two Choices: Continue To Sleep With Your Dreams, Or Wake Up and Chase Them. β€” Carmelo Anthony

Eating and sleeping are the only activities that should be allowed to interrupt a man's enjoyment of his cigar. β€” Mark Twain

Retain a calm heart, sit like a turtle, walk swiftly like a pigeon, and sleep like a dog β€” Li Ching-Yuen

Music that gentlier on the spirit lies, Than tired eyelids upon tired eyes. β€” Alfred Lord Tennyson

Having children is like living in a frat house - nobody sleeps, everything's broken, and there's a lot of throwing up. β€” Ray Romano

Man should forget his anger before he lies down to sleep. - Mahatma Gandhi quote

Man should forget his anger before he lies down to sleep. β€” Mahatma Gandhi

There is no sunrise so beautiful that it is worth waking me up to see it. β€” Mindy Kaling

Wendy, Wendy, when you are sleeping in your silly bed you might be flying about with me saying funny things to the stars. β€” James M. Barrie

I've always envied people who sleep easily. Their brains must be cleaner, the floorboards of the skull well swept, all the little monsters closed up in a steamer trunk at the foot of the bed. β€” David Benioff

Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy. β€” Francois de la Rochefoucauld

Take a nap in a fireplace and you'll sleep like a log. β€” Ellen DeGeneres

Let me have men about me that are fat, Sleek-headed-men, and such as sleep o'nights; Yond Cassius has a lean and hungry look; he thinks too much; such men are dangerous. β€” Julius Caesar

I want to tell you a terrific story about oral contraception. I asked this girl to sleep with me and she said 'No. β€” Woody Allen

There should be a children's song: 'If you're happy and you know it, keep it to yourself and let your dad sleep'. β€” Jim Gaffigan

Early to bed and early to rise makes a person dull, boring, and despised. β€” Ernie J Zelinski

I was a nervous child, I was a bedwetter. I used to sleep with an electric blanket and I was constantly electrocuting myself. β€” Woody Allen

O sleep! O gentle sleep! Nature's soft nurse. β€” William Shakespeare

Consciousness: That annoying time between naps β€” Steven Wright

If you can't sleep, count sheep. Don't count endangered animals. You will run out. β€” Mitch Hedberg

The worst thing in the world is to try to sleep and not to. β€” F. Scott Fitzgerald

No man is greater than his respect for sleep. β€” Ogden Nash

The Japanese eat, sleep, and breathe golf; the only thing they don't do is actually play it, because to get on a course, you have to make a reservation roughly 137 years in advance, which means that by the time you actually get to the first tee you are deceased. Of course, in golf this is not really a handicap. β€” Dave Barry

I think we can all agree that sleeping around is a great way to meet people. β€” Chelsea Handler

Many things, such as loving, going to sleep, or behaving unaffectedly - are done worst when we try hardest to do them. β€” C. S. Lewis

Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep. β€” Neil Peart

O bed! O bed! delicious bed! That heaven upon earth to the weary head. β€” Thomas Hood

The good sleep better, but the bad seem to enjoy the waking hours much more. β€” Woody Allen

Oh sleep! it is a gentle thing, Beloved from pole to pole. β€” Samuel Taylor Coleridge

There are twelve hours in the day, and above fifty in the night. β€” Marie de Rabutin-Chantal, marquise de Sevigne

I certainly do not drink all the time. I have to sleep you know. β€” W. C. Fields

But you can't focus on things that matter if all you've been is asleep for forty years. Funny how sleep rhymes with sheep. You know. β€” Charlie Sheen

Sleep: a poor substitute for caffeine! β€” Wallace Shawn

When a puppy takes fifty catnaps in the course of the day, he cannot always be expected to sleep the night through. β€” Albert Payson Terhune

In Conclusion

Which quotation resonated with you best? Did you enjoy our collection of funny sleep quotes? Or may be you have a slogan about funny sleep to suggest. Let us know using our contact form.

Citation

Feel free to cite and use any of the quotes in this collection of funny sleep quotations. For popular citation styles(APA, Chicago, MLA), please use this citation page.

Embed HTML Link

Copy and paste this HTML code in your webpage