When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.
— Will Rogers
Wonderful Funny Sleep quotations
Sleep doesn't help if it's your soul that's tired.
Whoever drinks beer, he is quick to sleep;
whoever sleeps long, does not sin; whoever does not sin, enters Heaven! Thus, let us drink beer!
I came from a big family. As a matter of fact, I never got to sleep alone until I was married.
To thrive in life you need three bones. A wishbone. A backbone. And a funny bone.
Why don't you say "What?" if you like to sleep with your own sister.
When I'm not in a relationship, I shave one leg.
That way, when I sleep, it feels like I'm with a woman.
I think men talk to women so they can sleep with them and women sleep with men so they can talk to them.
Isn't it funny how day by day nothing changes, but when you look back everything is different.
Sleep is like the unicorn - it is rumored to exist, but I doubt I will see any
It's tough to get out of bed to do roadwork at 5 am when you've been sleeping in silk pajamas
Sleep 'til you're hungry, eat 'til you're sleepy.
I tried to be normal once. Worst to minutes of my life.
Drink, sir, is a great provoker of three things .
. . nose-painting, sleep, and urine. Lechery, sir, it provokes, and unprovokes; it provokes the desire, but it takes away the performance.
Everyone should have kids. They are the greatest joy in the world. But they are also terrorists. You'll realize this as soon as they are born and they start using sleep deprivation to break you.
He is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog.
You are his life, his love, his leader. He will be yours, faithful and true, to the last beat of his heart. You owe it to him to be worthy of such devotion. Our dogs will love and admire the meanest of us, and feed our colossal vanity with their uncritical homage.
A tiger doesn't lose sleep over the opinion of sheep.
Every Morning You Have Two Choices: Continue To Sleep With Your Dreams, Or Wake Up and Chase Them.
Eating and sleeping are the only activities that should be allowed to interrupt a man's enjoyment of his cigar.
Music that gentlier on the spirit lies, Than tired eyelids upon tired eyes.
It's hard to sleep when your heart is at war with your mind.
Retain a calm heart, sit like a turtle, walk swiftly like a pigeon, and sleep like a dog
Having children is like living in a frat house - nobody sleeps, everything's broken, and there's a lot of throwing up.
Man should forget his anger before he lies down to sleep.
Dream... but don't sleep.
There is no sunrise so beautiful that it is worth waking me up to see it.
Wendy, Wendy, when you are sleeping in your silly bed you might be flying about with me saying funny things to the stars.
I've always envied people who sleep easily.
Their brains must be cleaner, the floorboards of the skull well swept, all the little monsters closed up in a steamer trunk at the foot of the bed.
The best thing in life are free.
Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy.
Take a nap in a fireplace and you'll sleep like a log.
Let me have men about me that are fat, Sleek-headed-men, and such as sleep o'nights; Yond Cassius has a lean and hungry look; he thinks too much; such men are dangerous.
Every morning you pick between two choices: Continue to sleep with your dreams, or wake up and chase them. Good morning.
I want to tell you a terrific story about oral contraception.
I asked this girl to sleep with me and she said 'No.
There should be a children's song: 'If you're happy and you know it, keep it to yourself and let your dad sleep'.
I was a nervous child, I was a bedwetter.
I used to sleep with an electric blanket and I was constantly electrocuting myself.
You can't wake a person who is pretending to be asleep.
Early to bed and early to rise makes a person dull, boring, and despised.
O sleep! O gentle sleep! Nature's soft nurse.
Consciousness: That annoying time between naps
Never miss a good chance to shut up.
No man is greater than his respect for sleep.
The Japanese eat, sleep, and breathe golf;
the only thing they don't do is actually play it, because to get on a course, you have to make a reservation roughly 137 years in advance, which means that by the time you actually get to the first tee you are deceased. Of course, in golf this is not really a handicap.
The worst thing in the world is to try to sleep and not to.
I think we can all agree that sleeping around is a great way to meet people.
If you can't sleep, count sheep. Don't count endangered animals. You will run out.
