Whoever drinks beer, he is quick to sleep; whoever sleeps long, does not sin; whoever does not sin, enters Heaven! Thus, let us drink beer!— Martin Luther
Pleasurable Funny Drinking quotations
The only way that I could figure they could improve upon Coca-Cola, one of life's most delightful elixirs, which studies prove will heal the sick and occasionally raise the dead, is to put bourbon in it.
When I sell liquor, it's bootlegging.
When my patrons serve it on a silver tray on Lakeshore Drive, it's hospitality.
There is no such thing as bad whiskey.
Some whiskeys just happen to be better than others. But a man shouldn't fool with booze until he's fifty; then he's a damn fool if he doesn't.
What a fine weather today! Can’t choose whether to drink tea or to hang myself.
Give my people plenty of beer, good beer, and cheap beer, and you will have no revolution among them.
Without my morning coffee I'm just like a dried up piece of roast goat.
Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world.
We should look for someone to eat and drink with before looking for something to eat and drink.
A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.
Life is a waste of time and time is a waste of life, so let's all get wasted and have the time of our lives.
A bottle of wine contains more philosophy than all the books in the world.
I love to sing, and I love to drink scotch. Most people would rather hear me drink scotch.
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day.
Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
I'm too drunk to taste this chicken
Be careful to trust a person who does not like wine.
Nobody cares that you're smart and nobody cares that your kids don't have bruises.
Too much of anything is bad, but too much good whiskey is barely enough.
A drunk was in front of a judge. The judge says "You've been brought here for drinking." The drunk says "Okay, let's get started.
I exercise strong self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.
Don't trust a brilliant idea unless it survives the hangover.
Drink, sir, is a great provoker of three things .
. . nose-painting, sleep, and urine. Lechery, sir, it provokes, and unprovokes; it provokes the desire, but it takes away the performance.
Here's to alcohol, the rose colored glasses of life.
Accept what life offers you and try to drink from every cup.
All wines should be tasted; some should only be sipped, but with others, drink the whole bottle.
One should always be drunk. That's all that matters...But with what? With wine, with poetry, or with virtue, as you chose. But get drunk.
The older I get, the better I used to be.
I think the warning labels on alcoholic beverages are too bland.
They should be more vivid. Here is one I would suggest: "Alcohol will turn you into the same asshole your father was.
I don't have a drink problem. But if that was the case and doctors told me I had to stop, I'd like to think that I would be brave enough to drink myself into the grave.
God invented whiskey to keep the Irish from ruling the world.
One not only drinks the wine, one smells it, observes it, tastes it, sips it and-one talks about it.
Watermelon - it's a good fruit. You eat, you drink, you wash your face.
Everybody's got to believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer.
You know you have a drinking problem when the bartender knows your name -- and you've never been to that bar before.
Wine is the most healthful and most hygienic of beverages.
You can only drink 30 or 40 glasses of beer a day, no matter how rich you are.