Golf asks something of a man. It makes one loathe mediocrity. It seems to say, "If you are going to keep company with me, don't embarrass me. — Gary Player
The best exercise for golfers is golfing. — Bobby Jones
Golf is a game that needlessly prolongs the lives of some of our most useless citizens. — Bob Hope
The fun you get from golf is in direct ratio to the effort you don't put into it. — Bob Allen
Nothing dissects a man in public quite like golf. — Brent Musburger
Short Golf Quotes
I believe nicotine plus caffeine equals protein. — John Daly
When it blows here, even the seagulls walk. — Nick Faldo
A smart girl is one who knows how to play tennis, golf, piano -- and dumb. — Marilyn Monroe
You might as well praise a man for not robbing a bank as to praise him for playing by the rules. — Bobby Jones
Luck is predictable; the harder you work, the luckier you get. — Brian Tracy
One travels like a golf ball, hopping from green to green. — John Gunther
If he's got golf clubs in his truck or a camper in his driveway, I don't hire him. — Lou Holtz
My swing is so bad I look like a caveman killing his lunch. — Lee Trevino
It takes hundreds of good golf shots to gain confidence, but only one bad one to lose it. — Jack Nicklaus
All is fair in love and golf. — American Proverbs
It took me seventeen years to get three thousand hits in baseball. I did it in one afternoon on the golf course.
Playing Golf Quotes
Golf is the closest game to the game we call life. You get bad breaks from good shots; you get good breaks from bad shots - but you have to play the ball where it lies. — Bobby Jones
I used to play golf. I wanted to be a better player, but after a while I realized I'd always stink. And that's when I really started to enjoy the game. — Don Rickles
The real way to enjoy playing golf is to take pleasure not in the score, but in the execution of strokes. — Bobby Jones
I wasn't this nervous playing golf when I was drinking. It's the first tournament I've won on the PGA Tour in a sober manner, so it's a great feeling knowing I can do it sober. I don't think two years ago I could have pulled this off. — John Daly
When I get a chance to play golf or go on a boat with good people, take the boat out and put some lobsters on the grill, get the ice-cold beer and the cigars - that's heaven here on earth. — Bernie Mac
Golf is the only game I know of that actually becomes harder the longer you play it. — Bobby Jones
After all these years, it's still embarrassing for me to play on the American golf tour. Like the time I asked my caddie for a sand wedge and he came back ten minutes later with a ham on rye. — Chi Chi Rodriguez
The rewards of golf, and of life too I expect, are worth very little if you don't play the game by the etiquette as well as by the rules. — Bobby Jones
In order to win, you must play your best golf when you need it most, and play your sloppy stuff when you can afford it. I shall not attempt to explain how you achieve this happy timing. — Bobby Jones
I'd like to see the fairways more narrow. Then everybody would have to play from the rough, not just me. — Seve Ballesteros
Golf Life Quotes
The main idea in golf as in life, I suppose is to learn to accept what cannot be altered and to keep on doing one's own reasoned and resolute best whether the prospect be bleak or rosy. — Bobby Jones
You swing your best when you have the fewest things to think about. — Bobby Jones
I never learned anything from a match that I won. — Bobby Jones
The most important shot in golf is the next one. — Ben Hogan
If there is one thing I have learned during my years as a professional, it is that the only thing constant about golf is its inconstancy. — Jack Nicklaus
I'm not saying my golf game went bad, but if I grew tomatoes, they'd come up sliced. — Lee Trevino
Golf without bunkers and hazards would be tame and monotonous. So would life. — B. C. Forbes
One of the most fascinating things about golf is how it reflects the cycle of life. No matter what you shoot - the next day you have to go back to the first tee and begin all over again and make yourself into something. — Peter Jacobsen
I get as much fun as the next man from whaling the ball as hard as I can and catching it squarely on the button. But from sad experience I learned not to try this in a round that meant anything. — Bobby Jones
Golf Course Quotes
Emerald as heavy as a golf course, ruby as dark as an afterbirth, diamond as white as sun on the sea. — Anne Sexton
You can spend the money on new housing for poor people and the homeless, or you can spend it on a football stadium or a golf course. — Jello Biafra
Golf is assuredly a mystifying game. It would seem that if a person has hit a golf ball correctly a thousand times, he should be able to duplicate the performance at will. But such is certainly not the case. — Bobby Jones
You know I need that cockiness, the self-belief, arrogance, swagger, whatever you want to call it, I need that on the golf course to bring the best out of myself. So you know once I leave the golf course, you know that all gets left there. — Rory McIlroy
A lot of my buddies also played golf, but when it came to going to the beach or on the boat and chasing girls, they usually went that way and I went to the golf course. — Mike Weir
No-one will ever have golf under his thumb. No round ever will be so good it could not have been better. Perhaps this is why golf is the greatest of games. You are not playing a human adversary; you a playing a game. You are playing old man par. — Bobby Jones
Of course, money matters to everyone even if some don't want to admit it. If I won the Race to Dubai, I look at that prize money and think it could pay off my new house or the range I'm building. I am privileged to play golf for a living - look around St Andrews, that's my office. — Sayings
Exercise? I get it on the golf course. When I see my friends collapse, I run for the paramedics. — Red Skelton
If you are caught on a golf course during a storm and are afraid of lightning, hold up a 1-iron. Not even God can hit a 1-iron. — Lee Trevino
Putts get real difficult the day they hand out the money. — Lee Trevino
Golf Game Quotes
Do not be tempted to invest in a sample of each golfing invention as soon as it makes its appearance. If you do, you will only complicate and spoil your game - and encumber your locker with useless rubbish. — Harry Vardon
But in the end it's still a game of golf, and if at the end of the day you can't shake hands with your opponents and still be friends, then you've missed the point. — Payne Stewart
In golf your strengths and weaknesses will always be there. If you could improve your weaknesses, you would improve your game. The irony is that people prefer to practice their strengths. — Harvey Penick
For this game you need, above all things, to be in a tranquil frame of mind. — Harry Vardon
I mean, I can actually say goodbye to the game of golf, never hit another golf shot the rest of my life and I'd be happy because I can get back in life without any rotation. — Greg Norman
I really stay busy [in retirement]. I often have to cancel my golf games on the weekends to go play in tennis tournaments. — Richard Davies
Golf isn't like other sports where you can take a player out if he's having a bad day. You have to play the whole game. — Phil Blackmar
Golf's a funny game. You can be playing poorly and then go and win a tournament. — Karrie Webb
Golf is the cruelest game, because eventually it will drag you out in front of the whole school, take your lunch money and slap you around. — Rick Reilly
You don't have the game you played last year or last week. You only have today's game. It may be far from your best, but that's all you've got. Harden your heart and make the best of it. — Walter Hagen
Funny Golf Quotes
I look into eyes, shake their hand, pat their back, and wish them luck, but I am thinking, I am going to bury you. — Seve Ballesteros
The older I get, the better I used to be. — Lee Trevino
Playing polo is like trying to play golf during an earthquake. — Sylvester Stallone
There are two things you can do with your head down - play golf and pray. — Lee Trevino
Of all the hazards, fear is the worst. — Sam Snead
You know what they say about big hitters...the woods are full of them. — Jimmy Demaret
I'm about five inches from being an outstanding golfer. That's the distance my left ear is from my right. — Ben Crenshaw
The ardent golfer would play Mount Everest if somebody put a flagstick on top. — Pete Dye
Half of golf is fun; the other half is putting. — Peter Dobereiner
Golf Ball Quotes
It's good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling. — Mark Twain
If you think it's hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball. — Jack Lemmon
Beauty is Nature in perfection; circularity is its chief attribute. Behold the full moon, the enchanting golf ball, the domes of splendid temples, the huckleberry pie, the wedding ring, the circus ring, the ring for the waiter, and the "round" of drinks. — O. Henry
He hits the ball 130 yards and his jewelry goes 150. — Bob Hope
You are meant to play the ball as it lies, a fact that may help to touch on your own objective approach to life. — Grantland Rice
If I can hit a curveball, why can't I hit a ball that is standing still on a course? — Larry Nelson
I didn't miss the putt. I made the putt. The ball missed the hole. — Peter Jacobsen
It's so bad I could putt off a tabletop and still leave the ball halfway down the leg. — J. C. Snead
There is no such thing as natural touch. Touch is something you create by hitting millions of golf balls. — Lee Trevino
Coretta Scott King was all about her pearl earrings. At one point, I'm wearing pearl earrings the size of golf balls. They're enormous! She was bold-she knew that she was the Jackie Kennedy of her community. — Sayings
Golf Putting Quotes
Never concede the putt that beats you. — Harry Vardon
Who can say I have a bad swing? The only thing that matters in golf is the score you put on the board. You don't have to look pretty out there, you have to win. Look at my record and tell me who has a better swing than mine. — Lee Trevino
A good player who is a great putter is a match for any golfer. A great hitter who cannot putt is a match for no one. — Ben Sayers
The more I practice, the luckier I get. — Jerry Barber
A tap-in is a putt that is short enough to be missed one-handed. — Henry Beard
I've heard people say putting is 50 percent technique and 50 percent mental. I really believe it is 50 percent technique and 90 percent positive thinking, see, but that adds up to 140 percent, which is why nobody is 100 percent sure how to putt. — Chi Chi Rodriguez
The game of golf would lose a great deal if croquet mallets and billiard cues were allowed on the putting green. — Ernest Hemingway
Pawn endings are to Chess what putting is to golf — Cecil Purdy
Keep close count of your nickels and dimes, stay away from whiskey, and never concede a putt. — Sam Snead
All seasoned players know, or at least have felt, that when you are playing your best, you are much the same as in a state of meditation. You are free of tension and chatter. You are concentrating on one thing. It is the ideal condition for good golf. — Harvey Penick
Golf tips are like aspirin. One may do you good, but if you swallow the whole bottle you will be lucky to survive. — Harvey Penick
I am tired of all these golfers who are happy with second place. The only one who will like you if you come in second place is your wife and your dog. And that is only if you have a good wife and a good dog. — Gary Player
John certainly gives it a good hit, doesn't he? My Sunday best is a Wednesday afternoon compared to him. — Nick Faldo
It is more satisfying to be a bad player at golf. The worse you play, the better you remember the occasional good shot. — Nubar Gulbenkian
Golf is a game you can never get too good at. You can improve, but you can never get to where you master the game. — Gay Brewer
A strong mind is one of the key components that separates the great from the good. — Gary Player
A good golf course makes you want to play so badly that you hardly have the time to change your shoes. — Ben Crenshaw
It’s always good to play with big players, you know. — Paul Pogba
Golf is not a game of good shots. It's a game of bad shots. — Ben Hogan
Great Golf Quotes
You don't know what pressure is until you play for five bucks with only two bucks in your pocket. — Lee Trevino
A leading difficulty with the average player is that he totally misunderstands what is meant by concentration. He may think he is concentrating hard when he is merely worrying. — Bobby Jones
The mind messes up more shots than the body. — Tommy Bolt
Nothing goes down slower than a golf handicap. — Bobby Nichols
My luck is so bad that if I bought a cemetery, people would stop dying. — Ed Furgol
Golf's three ugliest words: still your shot. — Dave Marr
The first time I played the Masters, I was so nervous I drank a bottle of rum before I teed off. I shot the happiest 83 of my life. — Chi Chi Rodriguez
Success in golf depends less on strength of body than upon strength of mind and character. — Arnold Palmer
Watching Phil Mickelson play golf is like watching a drunk chasing a balloon near the edge of a cliff. — David Feherty
Golf Humor Quotes
Golf is 20 percent mechanics and technique. The other 80 pecent is philosophy, humor, tragedy, romance, melodrama, companionship, camaraderie, cussedness and conversation. — Grantland Rice
Keep your sense of humor. There's enough stress in the rest of your life not to let bad shots ruin a game you're supposed to enjoy. — Amy Alcott
I was playing golf. I swung, missed the ball, and got a big chunk of dirt. I swung again, missed the ball, and got another big chunk of dirt. Just then, 2 ants climbed on the ball saying, "Let's get up here before we get killed!" — Henny Youngman
Retirement means no pressure, no stress, no heartache... unless you play golf. — Gene Perret
Those years on the golf course as a caddie, boy, those people were something. They were vulgar, some were alcoholics, racist, they were very difficult people to deal with. A lot of them didn't have a sense of humor. — Martin Sheen
Golf seems to me an arduous way to go for a walk. I prefer to take the dogs out. — Anne, Princess Royal
I don't fear death, but I sure don't like those three-footers for par. — Chi Chi Rodriguez
I had a wonderful experience on the golf course today. I had a hole in nothing. Missed the ball and sank the divot. — Don Adams
I went to play golf and tried to shoot my age, but I shot my weight instead. — Bob Hope
Golf Love Quotes
Golf is like love. One day you think you are too old and the next day you want to do it again. — Roberto De Vicenzo
I used to think that elder love, if it even existed, was confined to rocking chairs or golf carts, that it had to be a dull business because of the physical limitations of age. — Nora Johnson
My dad's method in his madness was to try every sport and then observe what I liked. I played football, tennis, golf, cricket but I loved my snooker. — Ronnie O'Sullivan
Sex is the most fun you can have without smiling. — Madonna Ciccone
I love baseball, but being here (in the United States), I've been able to play golf every day. I can't play in Japan because every course has caddies, and the caddies all want autographs and don't want to let me golf. — Ichiro Suzuki
Does Grandpa love to baby-sit his grandchildren? Are you kidding? By day he is too busy taking hormone shots at the doctor's or chip shots on the golf course. At night he and Grandma are too busy doing the cha-cha. — Hal Boyle
They say Yogi Berra is funny. Well, he has a lovely wife and family, a beautiful home, money in the bank, and he plays golf with millionaires. What's funny about that? — Casey Stengel
Golf is a nice game, but that's all. It's never going to be an exciting game to watch on TV. It's not a circus and never will be one. The audience for golf is not going to change significantly. It's always going to be people who play it, understand it, and love it. — Jack Nicklaus
There is no similarity between golf and putting; they are two different games, one played in the air, and the other on the ground. — Ben Hogan
From Here to Eternity' happens to be fourteen-carat entertainment. The main trouble is that it is too entertaining for a film in which love affairs flounder, one sweet guy is beaten to death, and a man of high principles is mistaken for a saboteur and killed on a golf course. — Manny Farber
Golf Clubs Quotes
If one defines the term 'dropout' to mean a person who has given up serious effort to meet his responsibilities, then every business office, government agency, golf club and university faculty would yield its quota. — John W. Gardner
I would rather be of clear mind and decision with the wrong club than with an unclear mind and the right club. — Walter Hagen
If a lot of people gripped a knife and fork the way they do a golf club, they'd starve to death. — Sam Snead
Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air. — Jack Benny
Show me a golfer who doesn't have a mean streak, and I'll show you a weak competitor. — Lee Trevino
I expect to play golf until I am 90-even longer if anybody figures out a way to swing a club from a rocking chair. — Babe Didrikson Zaharias
We were all born with webbed feet and a golf club in our hand. — Old Tom Morris
I know you can be fined for throwing a club, but I want to know if you can get fined for throwing a caddie? — Tommy Bolt
Every golfer should come to the first tee with fourteen clubs, a dozen balls, a handful of tees, and at least one great golf story — Lee Trevino
In Hollywood, we have some of the richest unemployed people in the world. They have sun tans. Some of them have chauffeurs in Rolls-Royces waiting outside. They have their golf clubs ready in the car. There is no law that says you cannot play golf while being unemployed. — Allan Sherman
I've got the drinkers and the smokers and the eaters on my side. — John Daly
The object of golf is not just to win. It is to play like a gentleman, and win. — Phil Mickelson
As I watched the seagulls, I thought, That's the road to take; find the absolute rhythm and follow it with absolute trust. — Nikos Kazantzakis
Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps. — Tiger Woods
There are only two types of player-those who keep their nerves under control and win championships, and those who do not. — Harry Vardon
This fitness thing is blown out of proportion. What am I going to do on a treadmill - smoke a cigarette and drink a diet Coke? — John Daly
The Universal Law is impartial. It will give you anything you believe. It will throw you garbage or roses depending on the energy you put in. You are the one in charge, and you must accept that and stand alone. If you think God is coming down to fix things for you, forget it. God is out playing golf. — Stuart Wilde
I know this golf tournament has my name on it but it's not about me. It's about the Louisiana Tech family. There is nothing greater than being a part of the Bulldog family. — Terry Bradshaw
You can't win them all but you can try. — Babe Didrikson Zaharias
The toughest opponent of all is Old Man Par. He's a patient soul who never shoots a birdie and never incurs a bogey. And if you would travel the long road with him, you must be patient, too. — Bobby Jones
In Conclusion
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