The only time I’ll use a microwave is to warm up a cup of coffee I’ve left too long before drinking. — Mary Berry
They say you're not supposed to put metal in a microwave oven. They're right. — Steven Wright
I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time. — Steven Wright
Computers are to design as microwaves are to cooking. — Milton Glaser
When you cook it should be an act of love. To put a frozen bag in the microwave for your child is an act of hate. — Raymond Blanc
Bless this highly nutritious microwavable macaroni and cheese dinner and the people who sold it on sale. Amen. — Kevin McAllister
They shot the ball well early. What comes out of the microwave hot doesn't always stay hot. I know, because I eat bagels in the morning. — Shaquille O'Neal
I'm sautéing emcees with fried rice up in the wok without the MSG and chopped celery. — Redman
To get a roaster clean, send something like baked apples in it to a neighbor. Neighbors always return pans spotless, and you won't have to use a blow torch on it like you usually do. — Phyllis Diller
If your version of pub food is microwaving a pie and some baked beans, then yeah, it's really complicated cooking. But if it's just about getting the best out of simple ingredients, then it's not. — Tom Kerridge
The wonderful world of home appliances now makes it possible to cook indoors with charcoal and outdoors with gas. — Bill Vaughan
I wouldn't exactly call it 'cooking' but I can make noodles. That means I can boil water, put the pasta in and wait until it's done. — Devon Werkheiser
Ever hold your hand over a torch (sorry, a flashlight for you Americans). — Rick Riordan
The idiot who invented instant grits also thought of frozen fried chicken, and they ought to lock him up before he tries to freeze-dry collards. — Lewis Grizzard
You can microwave a Pop Tart. That just blew me away that you could do that. How long does it take to toast a Pop Tart? A minute and a half if you want it dark? People don't have that kind of time? Listen, if you need to zap-fry your Pop Tarts before you head out the door, you might want to loosen up your schedule. — Brian Regan
It is ludicrous to read the microwave direction on the boxes of food you buy, as each one will have a disclaimer: THIS WILL VARY WITH YOUR MICROWAVE. Loosely translated, this means, You're on your own, Bernice. — Erma Bombeck
Knowledge, wisdom, and understanding don't come out of the microwave. You got to keep moving forward because the evil doesn't sleep. — Chuck D
I remember when I couldn't afford to eat like this. It was ramen noodles and the San Francisco Treat [Rice-A-Roni]. Dessert? Get you a honey bun and put a slice of cheese on it. Put it in the microwave for 45 seconds and you had the gift of a lifetime. — Sayings
The perfect gadget would somehow allow me to fly. Isn't that what everybody wants? It would also cook a damn good microwave pizza. So while in flight you had something to eat - an in-flight meal. Where would I go? Well, nowadays, it would probably just take me to work a lot quicker. — John Krasinski
I hate to admit this but I don't even know how to make a cup of tea or coffee. I can boil a kettle for a pot noodle and I've been known to warm up some food in the microwave. — Michael Owen
In this age of quick fixes and microwave mindsets, most of us want what we want, and we want it right now, whether it is instant download speed, instant riches, or an Oompa-Loompa, but just as you can't force the farm to produce a harvest, you can't force your seed of potential to grow until it is ripe and ready. — Derek Rydall
I rented Ghostbusters, my all-time favorite inspirational movie. I picked up some microwave, popcorn, a KitKat, a bag of bite-sized Reese's peanut butter cups, and a box of instant hot chocolate with marshmallows. Do I know how to have a good time, or what? — Janet Evanovich
My Saturday Night. My Saturday night is like a microwave burrito. Very tough to ruin something that starts out so bad to begin with. — Michael Chabon
I foresee great refinements in the field of short-pulse microwave signaling, whereby several simultaneous programs may occupy the same channel, in sequence, with incredibly swift electronic communication... Short waves will be generally used in the kitchen for roasting and baking, almost instantaneously... — Lee De Forest
I guess now music is so saturated and so microwaved. It's, like, 15 minutes in the microwave and boom, you've got something. Nobody's putting passion or any thought behind it anymore. — Young Jeezy
Several years ago my dear wife went to the hospital. She left a note behind for the children: "Dear children, do not let Daddy touch the microwave" - followed by a comma, "or the stove, or the dishwasher, or the dryer." I'm embarrassed to add any more to that list. — Thomas S. Monson
I have the life of Riley. I take my kids to school, do a bit of work in the afternoon, pick my kids up, microwave a meal, hang out with my kids, and work for a couple of hours. — Sheena Easton
I am really high maintenance and won't walk through the microwave that fries your body. I always request a pat down [in airport]. — Michelle Visage
The popcorn button on the microwave is a miraculous invention. More miraculous than even the microwave itself. — Gary Gulman
You can leave a kid alone and it will learn to fend for itself, how to work the remote, a tin opener, and the microwave. I see the holidays as a chance for kids to learn self-sufficiency. — Al Murray
It's not the microwave that's the problem, it's what people put into them. I know people lead busy lives but they should try to sit their children down at the table once a week and cook them simple food. — Raymond Blanc
You can't work three hours a week and make $100,000. Get rich quick doesn't work. Crock pot mentality always defeats microwave mentality! — Dave Ramsey
I don't cook - I can cook - but I'm not very good. I like being asked over for dinner, because she can't cook either. We would starve if it weren't for modern technology. I know how to work a microwave, but love home cooked meals. — Mark Mothersbaugh
The radiation left over from the Big Bang is the same as that in your microwave oven but very much less powerful. It would heat your pizza only to minus 271.3*C - not much good for defrosting the pizza, let alone cooking it. — Stephen Hawking
God created two acts of folly. First, He created the Universe in a Big Bang. Second, He was negligent enough to leave behind evidence for this act, in the form of microwave radiation. — Paul Erdos
I began to realize something - to understand the future you have to understand physics. Physics of the last century gave us television, radio, microwaves, gave us the Internet, lasers, transistors, computers - all of that from physics. — Michio Kaku
I like baked potatoes. I don't have a microwave oven, and it takes forever to bake a potato in a conventional oven. Sometimes I'll just throw one in there, even if I don't want one, because by the time it's done, who knows? — Mitch Hedberg
Yes, as a people we are spoiled. We look for dinners that take two minutes to cook in our microwave instead of five, and we audibly sigh if the directions on the box require us to stir at the halfway point. Aw, I gotta stir? See what else is in the freezer. — Martha Bolton
My favorite affirmation when I feel stuck or out of sorts is: Whatever I need is already here, and it is all for my highest good. Jot this down and post it conspicuously throughout your home, on the dashboard of your car, at your office, on your microwave oven, and even in front of your toilets! — Wayne Dyer
Men are like microwave ovens; they heat up immediately, but things start to boil over after about three minutes. Women are like conventional ovens; they take twenty minutes to heat up, but can go on cooking for hours. — Mardy Grothe
I turned down a lot of easier opportunities in order to go for the things that I really and ultimately wanted to do. And what's really nice is that it's starting to work. I've been an actor for coming up on 14 years now and the level of activity that's taking place now is a culmination of a slow cooker approach to as opposed to a microwave. — Sayings
Timing is everything. Chemistry is something that you don't just throw in the frying pan and mix it up with another something, then throw it on top of something, then fry it up and put it in a tortilla and put in a microwave, heat it up and give it to you and expect it to taste good. You know? For those of you who can cook, y'all know what I'm talking about. If y'all can't cook, this doesn't concern you. — Kevin Garnett
Oh, God, I'm so lonely. An entire weekend streching ahead with no one to love or have fun with. Anyway, I don't care. I've got a lovely steamed ginger pudding from M&S to put in the microwave. — Helen Fielding
In Conclusion
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