quote by Anthony Jeselnik

My girlfriend is upset about her new haircut. I don't understand why she's crying. I'm the one who has to get a new girlfriend.

— Anthony Jeselnik

Tempting Haircut quotations

Why don't you get a haircut? You look like a chrysanthemum.

Remember the first time you went to a show and saw your favorite band.

You wore their shirt, and sang every word. You didn't know anything about scene politics, haircuts, or what was cool. All you knew was that this music made you feel different from anyone you shared a locker with. Someone finally understood you. This is what music is about.

I did study the art of being a barber because I wanted to figure out what my routine would be. Do you start in the front or back? Top or bottom? Swivel the chair or walk around? What I did discover is there's no such thing as the perfect haircut!

Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair.

You're nothing but an apple, a silly t-shirt, a catchphrase and a stupid haircut.

Shouldn't someone tag Mr. Kennedy's bold new imaginative program with its proper age? Under the tousled boyish haircut is still old Karl Marx - first launched a century ago. There is nothing new in the idea of a Government being Big Brother.

Beauty isn't worth thinking about; what's important is your mind. You don't want a fifty-dollar haircut on a fifty-cent head. ~Garrison Keillor

Never ask a barber if you need a haircut.

I used to work at this store called Music Plus in San Clemente, California, when I was growing up, and then they became Blockbuster Music, and, like, you had to get a haircut to work there, and at the time I had some pretty long hair. So after that policy was imposed, I knew that was going to be my last summer working there.

Interviewers always used to ask me about my pageboy haircut, and it drove me nuts: it almost made me suspect that there was something strange about it. So I cut off my pageboy.

I don't advise a haircut, man. All hairdressers are in the employment of the government. Hairs are your aerials. They pick up signals from the cosmos, and transmit them directly into the brain. This is the reason bald-headed men are uptight.

There simply is nothing else like it.

And, as a test of physical and mental endurance it has no equal. Other sports may be as intense, as pressurized, as hard for short periods: But the Tour does on day after day after day. It's the only race in the world where you have to get a haircut halfway through.

One of the most important things about looking youthful is to have a modern haircut.

I used to butcher my Barbies. I would draw hearts on their cheeks. I would give them haircuts and I would keep going because it would be uneven and they would be left bald

Having a bad haircut can be quite traumatic!

A woman who cuts her hair is about to change her life.

My hair was too big. And my head is big, and my hair is big, so my helmet gets too small. So I have to make a haircut.

If you keep walking past the barbers, eventually you'll get a haircut.

With short hair you have to get a haircut every two or three weeks.

And if you're coloring your hair, you have to color it that often. Every time I did it, I felt fraudulent.

I've had every haircut you could possibly imagine: mullet, tail, dreadlocks, afro, crew cut. It's always been an expression of who I am.

You gotta stay 'fresh to death,' I call it. Fresh outfit, fresh haircut, fresh tan. Just stay fresh.

I still miss the days when a haircut was just a haircut.

It was only your mates you had to face. Now there's a whole industry centred around people analysing your 'look'. I just cannot understand how anyone could get so worked up by... hair.

A $50 haircut, cool glasses, skinny jeans and a tattoo does not a prophet make.

For me, it's all about the haircut. I don't have a lot of hair to style, so I keep it nice and fresh and tight. I actually go to the barbershop every five days. As soon as your haircut is on point, you have to make sure your outfit is fully ironed, you smell good, and you have clean sneakers on. Pretty much the head-to-toe look.

You're only as good as your last haircut.

I looked like a 'Super Mario Bros.' Goomba. It's arguably the ugliest haircut on the planet.

You might be a redneck if you need an estimate from your barber before you get a haircut.

He's a haircut and a forehand.

I was in a Montessori school. There was a drum circle with all the kids passing around a little bongo drum. I was the last person in the circle, and when it got to me I played 'Shave and a Haircut, Two Bits' - in front of all the parents. Blew the crowd away at five years old.

Some of the worst mistakes of my life have been haircuts.

I used to get a haircut every Saturday so I would never miss any of the comic books. I had practically no hair when I was a kid!

You might be a redneck if you go to a Tupperware party for a haircut.

Look at my haircut. I am ready for the war. The objective is to win the Premiershp. I don't want to dominate, to finish without defeat, record points or goals or consecutive wins. The Premiership is so difficult you cannot be focused on that. I just think about winning.

Do you really want to know why I'm doing all this goodwill, and why I'm an ambassador for Habitat for Humanity and why I gave a million to [relief efforts for Hurricane] Katrina? It's because I feel guilty about the huge hole in the ozone layer my haircuts created. It's my responsibility to right the wrongs of the Eighties.

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