Ill book a ticket on some garbage airline. I dont wanna name an actual airline so lets make one up, lets just call it like Delta Airlines — John Mulaney
Running an airline is a normal job. Racing is more. — Niki Lauda
The airline business is the biggest team sport in the world. When you're all consumed with fighting among yourselves, your opponents can run over you every day. — Gordon Bethune
Airlines go in the long run at the competition to reason. For the passenger the competition is good, because each competitor tries to undercut the other one. — Niki Lauda
Airplane travel is nature's way of making you look like your passport photo. — Al Gore
Keep costs low and spirits high, and the people of Southwest Airlines will keep LUV in the air. — Herb Kelleher
Airline hostesses show you how to use a seatbelt in case you haven't been in a car since 1965. — Sayings
Getting on a plane, I told the ticket lady, "Send one of my bags to New York, send one to Los Angeles, and send one to Miami." She said, "We can't do that!" I told her, "You did it last week!" — Henny Youngman
Located 35 miles east of downtown Los Angeles, the airport served only two carriers, Western and Bonanza. — Annie Jacobsen
I employ 20 people in Vienna. The other 130 coworkers are pilots and flight companions. The Overhead is limited with me. Reduces naturally the costs of my fliers. — Niki Lauda
The only way to lose weight is to check it as airline baggage. — Peggy Ryan
I love flying. I've been to almost as many places as my luggage. — Bob Hope
Flying is more than a sport and more than a job; flying is pure passion and desire, which fill a lifetime. — Adolf Galland
Mass travel by air may prove to be more significant to world destiny than the atom bomb. — Juan Trippe
Short Airline Quotes
We have a strategic plan. It's called 'doing things'. — Herb Kelleher
Its operation in a world beset by fuel and energy crises makes no sense at all. — Alan Cranston
There are only two emotions in a plane: boredom and terror. — Orson Welles
Short of committing murder, negative publicity sells more seats than positive publicity. — Michael O'Leary
If the Wright brother were alive today Wilbur would have to fire Orville to reduce costs. — Herb Kelleher
The airline industry is full of bullshitters, liars and drunks. We excel at all three in Ireland. — Michael O'Leary
Air transport is just a glorified bus operation. — Michael O'Leary
We’re in the Customer Service business—we just happen to provide airline transportation. — Colleen Barrett
The saying "Getting there is half the fun" became obsolete with the advent of commercial airlines. — Henry Tillman
A lot of people came into the airline business. Most of them promptly exited, minus their money. — Robert Crandall
Delta Airline Quotes
I don't visit my parents often because Delta Airlines won't wait in the yard while I run in. — Margaret Smith
Ten Delta Airlines baggage handlers were arrested for smuggling drugs into Detroit. Yeah, you can tell Delta was involved, because the drugs were supposed to be smuggled into Chicago. — Jimmy Fallon
If Christmas is for families, what do you do when there are families scattered all over the country? I am pretty sure God wants to make sure I touch all the bases, even if I spend his actual birthday with Delta Airlines. — Gail Collins
Every other start-up wants to be another United or Delta or American. We just want to get rich. — Robert L. Priddy
Airline Ticket Quotes
The greatest threat now is a 9/11 occurring with a group of terrorists armed not with airline tickets and box cutters, but with a nuclear weapon in the middle of one of our own cities...there's a high probability of such an attempt. — Dick Cheney
One very clear impression I had of all the Beautiful People was their prudence. It may be that they paid for their own airline tickets, but they paid for little else. — James Brady
Many of the critics today get airline tickets, hotel accommodation, bags, beautiful photographs, gifts and other expenses paid by the distributors, and then are supposed to write serious articles about the movie. — Wim Wenders
Every penny I've ever saved has been spent on airline tickets to different corners of the world. — JJ Feild
If I want to travel with my family I have to purchase 7 airline tickets. — David Koechner
Airline Business Quotes
The airline business is it is mostly run by a bunch of spineless nincompoops who actually don't want to stand up to the environmentalists and call them the lying wankers that they are. — Michael O'Leary
The airline business is fast-paced, high risk, and highly leveraged. It puts a premium on things I like to do. I think I communicate well. And I am very good at detail. I love detail. — Robert Crandall
A recession is when you have to tighten your belt; depression is when you have no belt to tighten. When you've lost your trousers - you're in the airline business. — Adam Thomson
It's not a testosterone-driven industry any longer. Success is making money, not in the size of the airline. — Gordon Bethune
Running an airline is like having a baby: fun to conceive, but hell to deliver. — Collett E. Woolman
I've said many times that I'd be thrilled to sell the airline to the employees and our guys said no, we'll take all the money, anyway. — Robert Crandall
There has always been a certain romanticism associated with the airline business. We must avoid its perpetuation at Eastern at all costs. — Frank Borman
I retired at twenty-nine, bought a life-time pass on American Airlines and my only goal in life was to party like a mad man and get drunk with as many people as possible. And I was happy right there. But when we started the streaming business, I knew it could be something big. — Mark Cuban
As of 1992, in fact-though the picture would have improved since then-the money that had been made since the dawn of aviation by all of this country's airline companies was zero. Absolutely zero. — Warren Buffett
These days no one can make money on the goddamn airline business. The economics represent sheer hell. — C. R. Smith
Airline Food Quotes
We need to confront honestly the issue of scale... You may need a large corporation to run an airline or to manufacture cars, but you don't need a large corporation to raise a chicken or a hog. You don't need a large corporation to process local food or local timber and market it locally. — Wendell Berry
I had arrived at the airport one hour early so that, in accordance with airline procedures, I could stand around. — Dave Barry
A hundred years ago, it could take you the better part of a year to get from New York to California; whereas today, because of equipment problems at O'Hare, you can't get there at all. — Dave Barry
Funny, isn't it? The airlines go to all that trouble to keep you from taking a gun on board, then they just hand you a dinner roll you could kill a musk ox with. — Dave Barry
Sailboats are the slowest form of transportation on Earth with the possible exeption of airline flights that go through O'Hare. — Dave Barry
I was told to hand over my disposable lighter, to prevent, I suppose, any threat of "Do what I say or I'll light this Marlboro and you'll all die - in thirty years due to inhalation of secondhand smoke." — P. J. O'Rourke
Airline food is not intended for human consumption. It's intended as a form of in-flight entertainment, wherein the object is to guess what it is, starting with broad categories such as "mineral" and "linoleum." — Dave Barry
This book is dedicated to Wilbur and Orville Wright, without whom air sickness would still be just a dream. — Dave Barry
The Hawaiian Islands were discovered by hardy Polynesian sailors, who crossed thousands of miles of open ocean in primitive canoes, braving violent storm-tossed seas for months at a time. My family and I arrived by modern commercial aviation, which was infinitely worse. — Dave Barry
As the colonel and I sat swapping stories in the plane, a jet aircraft buzzed past our window. I asked the colonel what type of aircraft it was, and he said, "Don't worry about it, Bob. . . if you can see it, it's obsolete." — Bob Hope
Airline Industry Quotes
There are only two reasons to sit in the back row of an airplane: Either you have diarrhea, or you're anxious to meet people who do. — Henry A. Kissinger
Failure saves lives. In the airline industry, every time a plane crashes the probability of the next crash is lowered by that. — Nassim Nicholas Taleb
The thing I miss about Air Force One is they don't lose my luggage. — George H. W. Bush
Motto of the U.S. airline industry - "We're Hoping to Have a Motto Announcement in About an Hour." — Dave Barry
We are long-term players in the industry. We're not just crazy and emotional. We try to be logical business managers. — Frank Lorenzo
The airline business is crazy. I've not been enamored with the industry in general. You can't depend on anybody and anything. It's dog-eat-dog and one thing or another from one minute to the next. What I understand about it, I don't like what I see. — Robert Brooks
And [we hope to sell] the clean fuels to other airlines. I mean, the exciting thing about the breakthrough with clean fuels for the airline industry is there's only 1,700 pumps in the world that fill up the airlines. — Richard Branson
What opened up the American West was the fact that you owned the real estate. You owned the gold mines, the oil wells. The creation of these, back then, million dollar industries drove the railroads and eventually the airlines to provide this kind of transportation. — Peter Diamandis
Governments have supported airlines as if they were local football teams. But there are just too many of them. This is the only industry I know that has lost money consistently and makes money infrequently. — Richard L. Hanna
Why does every plane have two pilots? Really, you only need one pilot. Let's take out the second pilot. Let the bloody computer fly it. — Michael O'Leary
If the pilots were in charge, Columbus would still be in port. They believe the assertion that the world is flat. — Robert Crandall
I used to be an airline pilot. I got fired because I kept locking the keys in the plane. They caught me on an 80 foot stepladder with a coat hanger. — Steven Wright
What is that mountain goat doing way up here in the clouds? — Gary Larson
I am equal to a baby and to a hundred year old lady. I am equal to an airline pilot and a car mechanic. I am equal to you. You are equal to me. It's that universal.
Except that it's not. — A.S. King
He won't fly on the Balinese airline, Garuda, because he won't fly on any airline where the pilots believe in reincarnation. — Spalding Gray
I've produced more pilots than United Airlines, and they've all been disasters. Every audition I ever took in my life I lost. — Willard Scott
The painting world is awash with people who cannot paint. This is a condition that would not be tolerated in other professions such as Dentistry, Medicine, or among members of the Airline Pilot's Association. — Robert Genn
I never trust the airlines from those countries where the pilots believe in the afterlife. You are safer when they don't. — Muriel Spark
There was nothing subtle about our landing. The pilot just pointed the nose at the ground and let her rip. — Bob Hope
Airplane Quotes
When everything seems to be going against you, remember that the airplane takes off against the wind, not with it. — Henry Ford
Do you know how much faster I can fix an airplane when I want to fix it than when I don't want to fix it? — Gordon Bethune
If you are in trouble anywhere in the world, an airplane can fly over and drop flowers, but a helicopter can land and save your life. — Igor Sikorsky
If the black box flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn’t the whole airplane made out of that stuff? — George Carlin
I'd rather be called a boy and play with paper airplanes than be called a man and play with a girl's heart. — Niall Horan
I saw for the first time the earth's shape. I could easily see the shores of continents, islands, great rivers, folds of the terrain, large bodies of water. The horizon is dark blue, smoothly turning to black. . . the feelings which filled me I can express with one word-joy. — Yuri Gagarin
If I had to choose, I would rather have birds than airplanes. — Charles Lindbergh
Every flyer who ventures across oceans to distant lands is a potential explorer; in his or her breast burns the same fire that urged adventurers of old to set forth in their sailing-ships for foreign lands. — Jean Batten
If you can walk away from a landing, it's a good landing. If you use the airplane the next day, it's an outstanding landing. — Chuck Yeager
Aeronautics was neither an industry nor a science. It was a miracle. — Igor Sikorsky
Air Travel Quotes
During a trip to Iraq last fall, I visited our theater hospital at Balad Air Force Base and witnessed these skilled medical professionals in action and met the brave soldiers whose lives they saved. — Melissa Bean
If black boxes survive air crashes - why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff? — George Carlin
Orville Wright said to his brother, "Wilbur, you were only in the air for 12 seconds. How could my luggage be in Cleveland?" — Red Buttons
We travel together, passengers on a little spaceship, dependent on its vulnerable reserves of air and soil, all committed, for our safety, to its security and peace. Preserved from annihilation only by the care, the work and the love we give our fragile craft. — Adlai E. Stevenson
There is something in the New York air that makes sleep useless. — Simone de Beauvoir
We tax air passengers like cigarettes and alcohol - we impose sin taxes on travellers. — Gordon Bethune
I've always been a lover of hoodies. I'm a guy that travels a lot. I'm a guy that spends a lot of time on a cold air-conditioned tour bus. I'm a guy that likes to watch movies in peace. I'm a guy that likes to travel in the airport in peace. — Questlove
Most people...are like a falling leaf that drifts and turns in the air, flutters, and falls to the ground. But a few others are like stars which travel one defined path: no wind reaches them, they have within themselves their guide and path. — Hermann Hesse
The air travel industry moves into a new phase every five to six years. — Niki Lauda
The modern airplane creates a new geographical dimension. A navigable ocean of air blankets the whole surface of the globe. There are no distant places any longer: the world is small and the world is one. — Wendell Willkie
Airport Quotes
Loving someone who doesn't love you is like waiting for a ship at the airport. — Zayn Malik
We put people of concern on the watch list or the no-fly list, so we have a number of layers of security beyond the airport checkpoint. We gather as much information about a passenger as the law allows without profiling. — John Pistole
I would not vote for the mayor. It's not just because he didn't invite me to dinner, but because on my way into town from the airport there were such enormous potholes. — Fidel Castro
Well, I took a sabbatical. I walked away from shooting movies because I couldn't handle the travel. I'm a single parent. I had young kids, and I found that keeping in touch with them from hotel rooms and airports wasn't working for me. So I stopped. — Rick Moranis
I might be in an airport, late or angry with a ticket person, and I'm going to sort of check myself, because part of me is seen as Eric Camden. We all need as much help as we can get. It's a role model to me as much as to anybody else. — Stephen Collins
I'm preparing for a multimedia theater piece, Airport Music, that's coming up in New York City. — Jessica Hagedorn
It can hardly be a coincidence that no language on earth has ever produced the expression, 'As pretty as an airport. — Douglas Adams
With Stewart International Airport located here, the New Windsor Police Department has an added responsibility to take anti-terrorism precautions while protecting our area. — Sue Kelly
Other countries, such as Israel, successfully employ behavior detection techniques at their airports, but the bloated, ineffective bureaucracy of TSA has produced another security failure for U.S. transportation systems. — John Mica
If men could get pregnant, abortion clinics would be like Starbucks - two on every block and four in every airport. And the morning-after pill would come in different flavors like sea salt and cool ranch. — Nasim Pedrad
Aviation Quotes
As I hurtled through space, one thought kept crossing my mind - every part of this rocket was supplied by the lowest bidder. — John Glenn
The higher we soar the smaller we appear to those who cannot fly. — Friedrich Nietzsche
Fight on and fly on to the last drop of blood and the last drop of fuel, to the last beat of the heart. — Manfred von Richthofen
Our destiny is not determined by the number of times we stumble but by the number of times we rise up, dust ourselves off, and move forward. — Dieter F. Uchtdorf
Use your fear... it can take you to the place where you store your courage. — Amelia Earhart
The Americans cannot build aeroplanes. They are very good at refrigerators and razor blades. — Hermann Goring
Decide...whether or not the goal is worth the risks involved. If it is, stop worrying. — Amelia Earhart
No enemy bomber can reach the Ruhr. If one reaches the Ruhr, my name is not Goering. You may call me Meyer. — Hermann Goring
The quality of the box matters little. Success depends upon the man who sits in it. — Manfred von Richthofen
If we maintain our faith in God, love of freedom, and superior global air power, the future looks good. — Curtis LeMay
The scientific theory I like best is that the rings of Saturn are composed entirely of lost airline luggage. — Mark Russell
Western airlines cannot compete with Chinese because the latter can fly over Russia. Sanctioning large amounts of the world’s total landmass has economic costs. — Philip Pilkington
Humans are actually far more likely to get taken out by an impact event or a supervolcano than we are to get killed in a crash of a commercial airliner. — John Young
You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline. It helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer. — Frank Zappa
I'm here to tell you that I am proud of a couple of things. First, I am very good at projectile vomiting. Second, I've never had a really serious venereal disease. — Herb Kelleher
We just found out my little brother has a peanut allergy, which is very serious I know. But still I feel like my parents are totally overreacting - they caught me eating a tiny little bag of airline peanuts and they kicked me out of his funeral. — Anthony Jeselnik
I don't think JetBlue has a better chance of being profitable than 100 other predecessors with new airplanes, new employees, low fares, all touchy-feely ... all of them are losers. Most of these guys are smoking ragweed. — Gordon Bethune
Six imams removed from a US Airways flight from Minneapolis to Phoenix are calling on Muslims to boycott the airline. If only we could get Muslims to boycott all airlines, we could dispense with airport security altogether. — Ann Coulter
Since 1978 the record pretty well shows that no start-up airline . . . has really been successful, so the odds of JetBlue having long-term success are remote. I'm not going to say it can't happen because stranger things have happened, but I personally believe P.T. Barnum was, in that respect, correct. — Gordon Bethune
These subsidies from four European governments, which include aircraft launch assistance, capital injections, debt forgiveness, have enabled Airbus to develop and range market airliners well below cost. — Norm Dicks
If anyone wonders why the airlines are not doing well it is because flying has been made such an unpleasant and degrading experience. — Keith Henson
I was a mechanic in the Navy. And mechanics in the Navy are like mechanics in airlines. You may have more stripes than I do, but you don't know how to fix the airplane. — Gordon Bethune
You should definitely have a travel agent. Why go through all the hassle of dealing with airlines, hotels, and rental-car agencies yourself, only to see the arrangements get all screwed up, when with just a single phone call you can have a trained professional screw them up for you? — Dave Barry
I'm paid about 20 times more than the average Ryanair employee and I think the gap should be wider. I probably work 50 times harder. I think I'm the most underpaid and underappreciated airline boss in Europe. — Michael O'Leary
It's like telling Mozart that there are too many notes in an opera. Which one do you want us to take out? — Gordon Bethune
Failure saves lives. In the airline industry, every time a plane crashes the probability of the next crash is lowered by that. The Titanic saved lives because we're building bigger and bigger ships. So these people died, but we have effectively improved the safety of the system, and nothing failed in vain. — Nassim Nicholas Taleb
I've never invested in any airline. I'm an airline manager. I don't invest in airlines. And I always said to the employees of American, 'This is not an appropriate investment. It's a great place to work and it's a great company that does important work. But airlines are not an investment.' — Robert Crandall
Whenever competition is feasible it is, for all its imperfections, superior to regulation as a means of serving the public interest. — Alfred Kahn
In airplanes you have a choice between chocolate and vanilla. One year could be vanilla or it could be chocolate. I don't attach any relevance to which one. — Gordon Bethune
In Conclusion
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