The wide screen reminds me of a roll of toilet paper. — Yasujiro Ozu
If you can see the handwriting on the wall... you're on the toilet. — Redd Foxx
The paperless society is about as
plausible as the paperless bathroom. — Jesse Shera
When using the loo, gravity is your friend. — Tim Peake
You know an odd feeling? Sitting on the toilet eating a chocolate candy bar. — George Carlin
You might be a redneck if going to the bathroom involves shoes and a flashlight. — Jeff Foxworthy
Some newspapers are fit only to line the bottom of bird cages. — Spiro T. Agnew
You should never eat when you're on the toilet. "But I'm lactose-intolerant, and I always wanted to enjoy a bowl of Puffins with whole milk!" That's more of an almond milk cereal, but live
your dream. — Daniel Tosh
I live like a monk: with one toothbrush, one cake of soap, and a pot of cream. — Greta Garbo
You have to wipe yourself down, to stay clean. If ya' girl clean, and ya' thoughts clean, wipe 'em down. Wipe 'em down man. — Lil Boosie
All those paper people living in their paper houses, burning the future to stay warm. — John Green
It's time to stop your grinnin' and drop your linen! — Shawn Michaels
The town was paper, but the memories were not. — John Green
you aren't what you eat - you are what you don't poop. — Wavy Gravy
Short Toilet Paper Quotes
Diaper backward spells repaid. Think about it. — Marshall McLuhan
From the cradle to the coffin underwear comes first. — Bertolt Brecht
Fresher than a pillow with a mint on it — Drake
You know it's time to do the laundry when you dry off with a sneaker. — Zach Galifianakis
The volume of paper expands to fill the available briefcases. — Jerry Brown
What soap is for the body, tears are for the soul. — Yiddish Proverbs
People don't buy plastic and paper, they buy emotions. — Scott Young
Eat in the house and then poop on the roof. — Thai Proverbs
Water, air, and cleanness are the chief articles in my pharmacy. — Napoleon Bonaparte
The towels were so thick there I could hardly close my suitcase. — Yogi Berra
Toilet Paper Image Quotes
If they give you lined paper, write the other way.
Toilet Paper Roll Quotes
I've learned that life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes. — Andy Rooney
If you want to avoid heated arguments, never discuss religion, politics, or whether the toilet paper roll should go over or under. — Al Yankovic
A long white ribbon shot out of the crack in the wall. The ribbon just kept coming, weaving itself into some kind of shape next to Anubis, and my first thought was, My god, he’s got a magic roll of toilet paper. — Rick Riordan
Trust is like a paper, once it's crumpled it can't be perfect again.
You know you're lazy when you run out of toilet paper and use the cardboard roll to wipe with. — Dane Cook
The only thing I use the Rolling Stone for is toilet paper when I run out. — Neal Schon
Good Quotes
A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked. — Bernard Meltzer
With or without religion, you would have good people doing good things and evil people doing evil things. But for good people to do evil things, that takes religion. — Steven Weinberg
I've had good times and I've had bad times and I reminisce, maybe when I lay down, but throughout my day I keep myself engulfed in whatever moment I'm in because it could steer me into a depressed state. — Kevin Gates
Trust is like a paper once it's crumpled it can't be perfect again
No matter how successful you become you gotta keep grindin' and be a good person and then good things will come to you. — Meek Mill
Love is friendship that has caught fire. It is quiet understanding, mutual confidence, sharing and forgiving. It is loyalty through good and bad times. It settles for less than perfection and makes allowances for human weaknesses. — Ann Landers
You have enemies? Good. That means you've stood up for something, sometime in your life. — Winston Churchill
Everybody want to change the world, but nobody whats to change the toilet paper roll.
That is the difference between good teachers and great teachers: good teachers make the best of a pupil's means; great teachers foresee a pupil's ends. My teacher was Ferruccio Cusinati — Maria Callas
Waste no more time arguing about what a good man should be. Be one. — Marcus Aurelius
Toilet Clean Quotes
I'm cleaning toilets for $30 a day, because I needed that $30, and people are pointing at me, saying, Look at the big movie star. Look where he is now. I just said, I'm where God put me. — Willie Aames
Cleanliness and sanitation were closest to Gandhiji's heart. We will launch a 'Clean India' campaign and by Gandhiji's 150th birth anniversary, all schools in the country should have toilets with separate toilets for girls. — Narendra Modi
Clean water is only as far away as the nearest tap, and there are taps everywhere. There's a faucet everywhere. But the reality is, the water in our toilets is cleaner than the water that most people are drinking. — Matt Damon
Strong words outlast the paper they are written upon.
I have requested the corporates to evolve plans under corporate social responsibility to build clean toilets specially for girl students in schools. India should learn from foreign countries, where people are disciplined and do not litter in public places. — Narendra Modi
In the period where I had to live the life of a citizen - a life where, like everybody else, I did tons of laundry and cleaned toilet bowls, changed hundreds of diapers and nursed children - I learned a lot. — Patti Smith
I'm horrible to live with. I don't clean. My clothes end up wherever I take them off. I forget to flush the toilet. — Megan Fox
We need technology in every classroom and in every student and teacher's hand, because it is the pen and paper of our time, and it is the lens through which we experience much of our world.
Why do I continue making movies? Making movies is better than cleaning toilets. — Klaus Kinski
I did an internship at the Ardent theatre company in Philly after dropping out of college. I was earning $165 a week building sets and cleaning the toilets. Cleaning toilets is a good way of getting in touch with your creativity. That's when you find out if you got anything going on in your head. — Jill Scott
Make sure your bathroom is clean. If you're having a girl over the house for the first time, make sure your toilet is clean, not disgusting. Guys' bathrooms are always the most disgusting thing. — Carly Aquilino
Toilet Seat Quotes
I like to play pranks on my girlfriend, you know, keep things fresh for me, make me laugh, you know? She hates it. But like, the other night, I put Saran wrap over the toilet seat, you know, which doesn't sound that original, but she's bulimic. — Anthony Jeselnik
I smoke so much weed that you wouldn't believe and I get more ass then a toilet seat. — Nate Dogg
We'll send you a Hogwarts toilet seat! — J. K. Rowling
Don't, Ginny, we'll send you loads of owls. We'll send you a Hogwarts toilet seat. George! Only joking, Mum. — J. K. Rowling
Bad writing is not easier than good writing. It's just as hard to make a toilet seat as it is a castle window. Only the view is different. — Ben Hecht
I believe your friends Misters Fred and George Weasley were responsible for trying to send you a toilet seat. No doubt they thought it would amuse you. — J. K. Rowling
Online, you're providing each other with the good aspects of being together as far as communication and support, but you don't have to deal with the realities of paying bills together, or being annoyed when they leave the toilet seat up or don't put the food away in the fridge. — Nev Schulman
It's probably not love if you don't press your face to the toilet seat after they've used it to feel their warmth. — Rob Delaney
Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in. — Rita Rudner
Growing up, I had a front row seat to seeing two people work really hard. My dad scrubbed toilets at a private Catholic school for a while and that was to help me get through school. — Mia Love
Tissue Paper Quotes
It was almost as incredible as if you fired a 15-inch shell at a piece of tissue paper and it came back and hit you. — Ernest Rutherford
The honors Hollywood has for the writer are as dubious as tissue-paper cuff links. — Ben Hecht
I think people should have fun with fashion, should enjoy wearing beautiful clothes--but also not save everything for the best. Fashion is there to be enjoyed, to be indulged--to wow in. Don't save it for Sunday best only. Get it out of the tissue paper and be sensational every day. — John Galliano
When you start putting pen to paper, you see a side of your personal truth that doesn't otherwise reveal itself in conversation or thought. — Anthony Kiedis
Our child will not be raised in tissue paper! We don't even want her to hear the word princess. — Juliana of the Netherlands
I had the brief notion that his heart, pressed flat as a flower, crimson and thin as tissue paper, lay in this file. It was a very thin one. — Angela Carter
The dignity of man was everywhere tissue-paper thin. — Dick Francis
Christmas always rustled. It rustled every time, mysteriously, with silver and gold paper, tissue paper and a rich abundance of shiny paper, decorating and hiding everything and giving a feeling of reckless extravagance. — Tove Jansson
Perhaps they were looking for passion; perhaps they delved into this book as into a mysterious parcel - a gift box at the bottom of which, hidden in layers of rustling tissue paper, lay something they'd always longed for but couldn't ever grasp. — Margaret Atwood
The days of my youth, as I look back on them, seem to fly away from me in a flurry of pale repetitive scraps like those morning snow storms of used tissue paper that a train passenger sees whirling in the wake of the observation car. — Vladimir Nabokov
It is difficult to produce a television documentary that is both incisive and probing when every twelve minutes one is interrupted by twelve dancing rabbits singing about toilet paper. — Rod Serling
Leaders win through logistics. Vision, sure. Strategy, yes. But when you go to war, you need to have both toilet paper and bullets at the right place at the right time. In other words, you must win through superior logistics. — Tom Peters
It's expensive to keep communism alive today. I've already got a huge foreign debt staring me in the face, and I can't reduce it by exporting tomatoes or toilet paper. We should be making dollars any way we can. And we should be exporting arms any way and every way, openly and secretly, legally or by smuggling, I don't care how. — Nicolae Ceausescu
Problems are like toilet paper. You pull on one and ten more come. — Woody Allen
One of the most jolting days of adulthood comes the first time you run out of toilet paper. Toilet paper, up until this point, always just existed. And now it's a finite resource, constantly in danger of extinction, that must be carefully tracked and monitored, like pandas? — Kelly Williams Brown
Before you rip off three feet of toilet paper, consider that each year 500,000 acres of virgin boreal forest in northern Alberta and Ontario are being clear-cut to make the stuff. These forests are home to some 500 First Nation communities, as well as caribou and bears, moose and wolves, and, in the summertime, billions of songbirds. — Alex Shoumatoff
Today you can go to a gas station and find the cash register open and the toilets locked. They must think toilet paper is worth more than money. — Joey Bishop
I propose a limitation be put on how many squares of toilet paper can be used in any one sitting. — Sheryl Crow
It's not hard to tell we was poor - when you saw the toilet paper dryin' on the clothesline. — George Lindsey
You can almost judge how screwed up somebody is by the kind of toilet paper they use. Go in any rich house and it's some weird coloured embossed stuff. — Don Van Vliet
I like getting toilet paper thrown at me. — Joel Madden
The last time I was in Spain I got through six Jeffrey Archer novels. I must remember to take enough toilet paper next time. — Bob Monkhouse
Our forests are not for toilet paper. They are worth more standing than cut. That deserves to be defended, not only by native peoples but also by environmentalists. — Winona LaDuke
These were people who believed everything about the Soviet Union was perfect, but they were bringing their own toilet paper. — P. J. O'Rourke
Success is like toilet paper, it only seems important when you don't have it. — Richard Jeni
Toilet paper - and no baby wipes - in the bathroom. If they're using dry paper, they aren't washing all of themselves. It's just unclean. So if I go in a woman's house and see the toilet paper there, I'll explain this. And if she doesn't make the adjustment to baby wipes, I'll know she's not completely clean. — Terrence Howard
The burden of keeping three people in toilet paper seemed to me rather a heavy one. — Barbara Pym
I don't know if he needs a tic tac or toilet paper. — Jerry Lawler
You've no idea how wonderful toilet paper is until it's taken away from you by an unfeeling universe. I think it's the defining characteristic of human civilization, the ability to manufacture something decent to wipe your ass on. — Peter F. Hamilton
How can you put on a meaningful drama when every fifteen minutes proceedings are interrupted by twelve dancing rabbits with toilet paper? — Rod Serling
My aunt in Knoxville would bring newspapers up, which we used for toilet paper. Before we used it, we'd look at the pictures. — Dolly Parton
European toilet paper is made from the same material that Americans use for roofing, which is why Europeans tend to remain standing throughout soccer matches. — Dave Barry
Like when I'm in the bathroom looking at my toilet paper, I'm like 'Wow! That's toilet paper?' I don't know if we appreciate how much we have. — Alicia Silverstone
Let me tell you, people go on and on about what a great idea electricity was, but I'm going to put toilet paper right next to the wheel and say those are the best ideas anyone's ever had. Scoff at it if you will, but try living for two millennia without it and then we'll talk. — Kevin Hearne
You might be a redneck if you've ever stolen toilet paper from a public restroom. — Jeff Foxworthy
If the entire week is a battlefield, reading the Bible is sort of like that parachute with the box of reserves that come in the middle of the war: food and water and the toothbrush and toilet paper. — Lauryn Hill
Most of the time he [Marlon Brando] sounds like he has a mouth full of toilet paper. — Rex Reed
It took me over a couple of months to find the right piece of transparent paper for a section near the centre, on the right side of the Garden of Nebuchadnezzar. When I did find it, it was on a bottle of my wife's toilet water. — Harold Town
It's a topsy-turvy world in which a country can import the same amount of ice-cream, toilet paper and other goods to trading partners as it exports, and where top bankers are paid millions for destroying economic value, while hospital cleaners create value many times their pay — Andrew Simms
People don't think of their office as a workplace anymore. They think of it as a stationary store with Danish. You want to get your pastry, your envelopes, your supplies, your toilet paper, six cups of coffee, and you go home. — Jerry Seinfeld
The former police chief of Houston once said of me: "Frank Abagnale could write a check on toilet paper, drawn on the Confederate States Treasury, sign it 'U.R. Hooked' and cash it at any bank in town, using a Hong Kong driver's license for identification." — Frank Abagnale
If we all had all we wanted to eat, we'd crap too much. We'd have inflation in the toilet paper industry. — Jim Thompson
France is a place where the money falls apart in your hands but you cannot tear the toilet paper. — Billy Wilder
If you stay in a house and you go to the bathroom and there is no toilet paper, you can always slide down the banisters. Don't tell me you haven't done it. — Paul Merton
I have the largest collection of Hulk memorabilia in the world - everything from toilet paper, wallpaper, bicycles - all boxed up at my house in Northern California. I've had it for so long, I think it might be time to sell it. — Lou Ferrigno
How can you put out a meaningful drama when every fifteen minutes proceedings are interrupted by twelve dancing rabbits with toilet paper? No dramatic art form should be dictated and controlled by men whose training and instincts are cut of an entirely different cloth. The fact remains that these gentlemen sell consumer goods, not an art form. — Rod Serling
France is the country where the money falls apart and you can't tear the toilet paper. — Billy Wilder
Time kept on and on like the cheapest toilet paper. — Porochista Khakpour
Can't nobody [mess] with me. I'm like toilet paper, Pampers and toothpaste. I'm definitely proven to be effective. — Shaquille O'Neal
Carter pulled out several lengths of brown twine, a small ebony cat statue, and a thick roll of paper. No, not paper. Papyrus. I remember Dad explaining how the Egyptians made it from a river plant because they never invented paper. The stuff was so thick and rough, it made me wonder if the poor Egyptians had had to use toilet papyrus. If so, no wonder they walked sideways. — Rick Riordan
Endangered forests are being slaughtered for toilet paper. — Daphne Zuniga
In Conclusion
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Citation
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